Chapter Text
Hecate heard a knock on her potions labs door, the third one in the span of 2 minutes. She had transferred here when all the eyes had turned to her after Indigo had run off. Her shaking hands grabbed the next ingredient. She knew she was in no state to make a potion, her tears feeling hot down her cheeks. The alternative was the Ada's personal bottle of Witches Brew. Something she refused to do. She refused to numb her pain with alcohol as her father had. Another bad memory flashed across her head, and she squeezed her eyes closed. When she opened them, Mildred was standing in front of her desk.
"The door was locked for a reason, Mildred," she said, failing at holding her normal tone of authority. She distracted herself by adding the next ingredient.
"I was worried about you," Mildred said.
"There is no need," Hecate said, not looking up. She knew Mildred knew it was a lie, it couldn't be difficult to see her tears. "You were right. I should have told her sooner," she said, grabbing the spoon. Gripping it to tightly, her knuckled turned white. "I waited to long."
"You were going to tell her?" Mildred asked confused.
Hecate nodded, unable to control her quivering jaw. "I was actually walking over to her to tell her we needed to talk when Ethel..." she drifted off. "Have I done something to her to make her hate me?"
"Ethel?"
Hecate looked up, and she could see how Mildred seeing her in this state impacted her. "Why else would she wish to hurt me so thoroughly? Am I that horrible that she would do this?" Hecate could feel her anxiety rising quickly. Her walls cracking. She dropped the spoon in the potion, her hands now shaking so badly she was unable to keep hold. She brought her hands to her head, trying to breath but found it difficult. She moved one of her hands over her forehead covering her head. "Am I horrible teacher?" She asked with a shaky voice, it was thick with tears. "Am I a horrible person? Why am I such an idiot?!" She asked, balling her hands, both now resting atop her forehead.
"You're not an idiot!" Mildred said.
Hecate shook her head. "No, I am! Always thinking if I can keep myself far enough away that it will keep me from being hurt! Stupid, idiot woman!" She said, slamming her hands down on the desk. A wave of energy burst forth, throwing the cauldron to the ground. It shattered loudly, as Hecate crumbled. She couldn't control her own magic. Hecate wrapped her arms around herself, kneeling to the floor as a sob came from her. She looked back up when she heard Mildred rushing over to her. She pulled tighter into herself, as she cried out, "Just leave me alone. Please!"
"I'm not leaving you alone like this," she heard Mildred say with a calm voice. "And I'll not let you call yourself an idiot again." Mildred reached out, touching her shoulder slightly. "You're the smartest person I know. I don't know what your reasons were for not telling Indigo who you were, but I know you had them. I could see how much it hurt you, having her here. I know it wasn't easy for you. Ethel had no right to tell her. But you shouldn't take it personally, that's just who Ethel is." Hecate felt herself calming slightly, and Mildred sat down next to where she was crouched to the ground. Hecate slumped to the floor completely, sniffling.
"I still don't understand," she admitted.
"Everything Ethel does is for herself, and no one else. I don't really understand what she had to gain by doing this. I think it was to hurt me, not you. Just like how she told Agatha about Miss Cackle to hurt Esme."
"Indigo must hate me," Hecate said after a beat or two of silence.
"She doesn't hate you" Mildred said with a shrug. Hecate looked at her with confusion. "Hating means caring. She probably hates that you didn't tell her, or that I didn't either. She's hurting because the two people she thought she could trust lied and hurt her." Mildred sighed, and Hecate could sense something heavier was coming. "She would cry herself to sleep every night because of how much she missed you."
"She did?" Hecate asked, barely able to be loud enough to be heard.
"Yea," Mildred said. "I didn't know she did. She would put a pillow over her face so I couldn't hear her. But she told me, when she thought I was you." Hecate felt more tears forming. "I felt horrible keeping it from her, but I had to."
"You didn't," Hecate corrected. Mildred looked at her bewildered.
"It wasn't for me to tell. That was on you. She needed to hear it from you," Mildred explained. "And Indigo is my friend, but I also care about you, Miss Hardbroom. I wouldn't take that away from you, or hurt you like that."
Hecate gave a poor attempt at a smile at that. "Thank you Mildred." She shook her head. "Why did you have my file?" Mildred opened her mouth, clearly indicating to Hecate that she was scared to tell her. "Mildred, how did you get my file?"
"I might have found it when cleaning up Miss Cackle's office after Indy tore it apart looking for it?" Mildred said. Hecate felt her jaw lower this time.
"I had no idea she was looking that intensely."
"I tried to tell you but you wouldn't listen. When I found it, I hid it under my bed in a hurry and I never got a chance to move it." Mildred turned more fully to Hecate. "I was worried about when she found out about locator spells. I knew once she found about them, she'd find you. That was why I pretended to be you. I thought that if I could get her to be content with at least seeing you, she wouldn't be as stressed about it. That'd you be safe until you were ready to talk with her. And then you, well, nipped that plan in the bud."
"Thank you for trying." They fell silent for a moment, before Hecate weakly said, "I am sorry Mildred. I should have never put any of this one you. It was never your responsibility to handle, but mine. It wasn't right of me."
"Maybe not, but I earned a pretty amazing friend because of it. If she ever talks to me again."
Hecate nodded, then squinted. "Where is she, anyhow?"
Mildred's face grew sadder. "We don't know. No one can find her. I was going to go to town to look."
"I wish I could help you," Hecate said. Mildred nodded, knowingly. Understanding that if Hecate could, she would join the search. Fear began building in her. Indigo was prone to recklessness, and had no where to go. "All I ever wanted was to keep her safe. I will never forgive myself, if she comes by harm because of me."
"I know," Mildred said, standing. She extended her hand, helping Hecate off the floor. "If it makes you feel better, Miss Cackle is furious with Ethel. Rumor has it she is going to expel her."
Hecate's heart sunk even further. "Why would that make me feel better?"
"Just thought after-"
"She hasn't yet, has she?"
"I don't think so. I heard her to tell to go to her office at 4," Mildred explained.
Hecate grabbed her time-peace, opening it to find the time. Four o'clock was 2 minutes ago. She needed to stop Ada, quickly. "I want you back in school grounds at sun down," Hecate said firmly. Mildred didn't have a chance to reply before Hecate was gone.