Work Text:
2012
Five minutes into the movie, and Junhoe realised that the whole thing had probably been a mistake. He had no business being on a movie date. Not at his age and under the current circumstances. Granted Bobby is the most coolest and popular person in high school and everyone was clamouring to get his attention. Still, Junhoe did not know what it was that had made him agree to a date.
He was only sixteen, just a junior and not quite yet a somebody, although he did catch everyone’s attention with his striking and sharp good looks. Bobby being a senior had naturally been as equally taken as everyone else. Bobby was an interesting character. He had mostly dated girls in the duration of high school up until the last year. He had broken up with Felicity Cao, who was probably one of the most hottest girl in school, after having dated her for two years and then decided that he was more interested in boys.
Perhaps it was a journey of youth, but Junhoe realised now that Bobby had no business dating a sixteen year old, who knew from the beginning that he could never be interested in girls. Ever.
Junhoe had always been a sensible child, acutely capable of making decisions and able to tell immediately what exactly he wanted. For Junhoe, there was only yes or no, anything in between did not deserve his attention at all. He stood up abruptly. Bobby gazed at him, questioning. He had barely said a word since picking Junhoe up in that borrowed Cadillac, probably belonging to his dad and thinking he had made such a big impression on a ‘wet behind the ears’ kid.
“I’m sorry.” Junhoe mumbled. “I don’t think this is working out.” He continued, blurting out recklessly. Bobby had blinked at the screen and then at Junhoe, uncertain as to how he should react to this sudden declaration. Before Bobby could even answer, the boy had abruptly left the theatre, leaving Bobby behind bewildered with the full box of popcorn. He had been smitten with Junhoe the moment he had set his eyes on the boy.
Tall, aloof and possessing a swagger beyond his years, Junhoe had made it clear to everyone that he was only interested in boys. Bobby would never admit it to anyone, but Junhoe had been the reason he broke up with Felicity Cao. Bobby had caught sight of him during basketball practice when Junhoe had auditioned to become a cheerleader and did a routine to Carly Rae Jepsen’s Call Me Maybe. The girls had been impressed (read: absolutely, rabid, crazy jealous) at his skills and rejected him out of spite. Junhoe, cool as the day as he was born, had accepted their decision with a calm demeanour, walking out of the court proudly, looking none the worse for wear. It was admirable and Bobby began observing him in secret.
By the end of that week, Bobby was completely enamoured. Bobby did not attend prom at all and there were speculation that something had happened between him and Junhoe even though they did not speak to each other since the unfortunate event of Junhoe walking out of their date. Junhoe had been relieved the year after, knowing that the rumours had died down and he could just concentrate on his studies and pursuing music.
2014.
College was interesting and exciting, Junhoe took classes that he wanted and had freedom to pursue his music with his parents’ full support. If he had any complaints, it was finding out that Bobby was interning as an Assistant Professor and that he had to attend Bobby’s lectures just to get notes for his thesis. It was uncomfortable, but Junhoe managed to live with it. Although they very rarely spoke to each other unless Junhoe needed to greet him or say thank you for the notes. Due to cutbacks, Bobby also ran the in-house radio station as a deejay, his raspy voice could be heard, filling the hallways. He also sported purple hair, which he often tied up into a man-bun, which Junhoe found rather distasteful but hey, who was he to say anything.
Junhoe wrote a few songs at the same time he wrote his thesis and then forgot all about it (his demo, not his thesis!). Next thing he knew, the demo had wound up in Bobby’s hands and he was airing it over the speakers one fine summer. Junhoe had stormed through the quadrangle, as fast as his long legs could carry and went straight to the broadcasting booth. Bobby saw him, waved and emerged from the booth grinning widely.
“What in the holy fuck do you think you are doing?!” Junhoe boomed at him, not even caring at this point if anyone saw him shouting at an official college staff. Bobby’s smile immediately disappeared.
“What’s going on, Junhoe?” Bobby asked, obviously unaware of what exactly had set Junhoe off.
“Who the fuck gave you my demo!?” Junhoe asked now, completely riled. “Are you doing this because of what happened in high school? Are you that butt hurt?” Bobby scratched his head, biting his lips in contemplation over what he had to say next.
“Junhoe, I really have no idea what you are talking about.” He explained calmly. “Someone gave me your demo and requested that I play it.”
“Who?” Junhoe demanded, his face still flushed with anger and a whole lot of disbelief. Bobby swallowed the constriction on his throat. Junhoe angry was definitely a force to reckon with, but he was also absolutely alluring. Brows furrowed, nostrils flared, thick lips pouted and chin jutting out stubbornly. If he had thought he could forget how enamoured he had been back in high school, he was most definitely wrong.
“I don’t know! Someone just left it on my desk with the post-it request to play it. I thought it was you!” Bobby recalled in frustration. Here he thought the wall between them had finally been demolished.
“Bullshit!” Junhoe exclaimed incredulously, although his anger had gone down a notch. Just the slightest.
“Why would I lie? And why would I steal your demo? I did not even know you made one!” Bobby argued.
“Whatever it is, just…return it to me. “ Junhoe requested, petulant now. Not sure how long he could bear to look at the stony, arrogant face with the eyebrow piercings. Sure Bobby had his charms. He had a kind of brashness and swag not many guys can pull off, but Junhoe found it a little put on, too try hard and that made him no different from the jock in high school who had asked him out for a movie back then.
“Sure, just a moment, let me go get it.” Bobby quickly said and went back into the booth. He came out awhile later, holding the demo and passing it to Junhoe, who grabbed it and started walking away. “Look Junhoe, please don’t be mad at me. I really…” Bobby started explaining.
“I think it’s just best for us to avoid each other in future.” Junhoe curtly interrupted and walked off without so much as a glance back at Bobby. Bobby tried hard not to think about Junhoe or his brusque demeanour towards him. He had moments when he found himself recalling that short yet hurtful exchange even in the years to come, and it was like cutting open an old wound every single time, because like or not, his heart, that blameless fool yearned for Junhoe the same way the moon needed the stars.
It was beyond his control.
While they kept bumping into each other on and off campus, which was inevitable, they made an effort not to converse any longer other than to greet or exchange pleasantries.
The Christmas before graduation, they both attended a party held by the professor. Junhoe had been in a relationship during that time so he had brought his boyfriend, Donghyuk along. Donghyuk majored in Sports Science and was also an aspiring dancer. They were deep in conversation when Donghyuk sighted someone and suddenly shouted,
“Bobby! Ya~Kim Jiwon!” Then he was waving at the familiar purple-haired figure Junhoe had been trying so hard to avoid all summer. Bobby had been surprised to see his childhood buddy, even more so to know he was dating the one person who hated his guts on campus. “This is Junhoe, my boyfriend. Did you receive it? The demo I sent you? What did you think of it?” Donghyuk was on a roll. Maybe because he had a little too much beer. Both of them gaped at Donghyuk.
“You were the one who left it on my desk?” Bobby questioned, wishing nothing more than to punch that chiselled face. Donghyuk, still clueless, smiled proudly, flashing dimples that went really deep into his cheeks.
“Yeah man, that I did. My boyfriend is damn talented, don’t you think?” Donghyuk exclaimed. Junhoe was biting his lip, looking mildly disconcerted and very much guilty at this piece of news, because it proved that Bobby did nothing wrong at all. “Hey, you guys wait here alright? I’m just going to get a drink.” And even without so much of a word, he left the two of them standing there at the balcony, gazing at each other, feeling no less awkward than they did before.
“I guess I owe you an apology huh?” Junhoe said after awhile, biting his lips and pretending to look at the night sky. Bobby, looked on in amusement. He had never seen Junhoe nervous before and he did not mind seeing more of it. Junhoe had always been confident and sure of things that to see him this way was definitely endearing and only serve to make Bobby fall in love even deeper than he ever believed he could.
“It’s fine.” Bobby assured dismissively. He was still looking at the sky so Bobby was given the opportunity to appreciate that jawline a little longer. “It’s not the first time you’ve never given me the chance to explain myself.” He sighed aloud. Junhoe, who was sipping wine from his glass started choking, much to Bobby’s consternation. He bend over coughing as Bobby got closer, patting him at the back. Junhoe waved his hand, as if to say he was alright but his face was completely red and his eyes had started to water. Bobby led him to the deck chair at the corner of the balcony, patting his back gently.
“Better?” Bobby asked, when the coughing had finally subsided. Junhoe nodded.
“Look…” Junhoe stood up and started. Bobby held up his hand, shaking his head.
“It’s alright, Junhoe.” Bobby countered. “You don’t have to explain anything. It was a misunderstanding. No biggie. “ Bobby stated.
“I wasn’t going to apologise anyway. “ Junhoe stated solemnly. “You're such an ass.” He gazed at Bobby in disgust and folded his arms. Bobby could have disregarded the way he spoke, or his body language, but he simply could not put up with the way Junhoe was looking at him.
“What the hell is your problem with me, Koo Junhoe?” Bobby pulled his arm and him towards the corner of the balcony where they were out of sight and hearing from the party crowd. Junhoe tried to shake off Bobby’s grip, but he had a firm hold and he was looking pretty pissed. “You were the one who walked out on our date! You never called to explain! And then you acted as if you don’t know me until I left high school. And now? Now, you are trying to blame me for something I did not even do!” Bobby growled, his eyes lighting keenly on Junhoe, who was looking at him in amazement.
“My problem is, I truly hate your guts! You walked around in school thinking you’re the next best thing since sliced bread and then you suddenly think you are gay and ask me out on a date. I’m not naive! You and your jock friends probably were setting me up to be bullied or something. Get off your high horse and stop pretending to be so much better than everybody else!” Junhoe stared him down, daring him to counter. Bobby barked a laugh.
“Unbelievable.” He said under his breath, still holding Junhoe by the arm. “You are just so full of yourself, aren’t you? What did I ever see in you?” Bobby was tearing up and this more than anything else, shocked Junhoe. “Do you really think this of me? Oh wow. How could I have been so blind!”
“Let go of me.” Junhoe was saying now, utterly confused. Bobby had pushed him back until he had hit the wall. The tears in Bobby’s eyes had trickled down his cheek and for some reason, Junhoe felt bad at the sight of this. He had not counted on Bobby being such a sensitive soul. Just as suddenly, Bobby released him.
“Oh, I am so done with you.” Bobby exhaled and left abruptly. Junhoe rubbed his arm where it ached from Bobby’s grip. Donghyuk came in awhile later, bringing two drinks in his hand, but looking back the entrance of the balcony where Bobby had just rushed out, looking utterly puzzled.
“Hey babe. Where is Bobby going?” Donghyuk asked, looking back at Junhoe’s sour face wondering what had just transpired.
“Disappear from the face of the earth for all I care!” Junhoe huffed, snatching one of the drinks from Donghyuk. It was beer. Nasty stuff, but Junhoe needed a drink and anything would do for now.
“Babe, what’s going on?” Donghyuk asked. “I’d thought you would get along with Bobby. He really likes your music, you know? He attended all your recitals. That’s how I met up with him again. But every time I offered to introduce you, he refused.” Donghyuk recounted. Junhoe rolled his eyes.
“Thank God for that then. He is such a pompous asshole.” Junhoe griped. Donghyuk looked surprised.
“Bobby? Babe, are we talking about the same person? I’ve known Bobby since we were in kindergarten. He’s a really nice guy.” Donghyuk insisted.
“They all come in many forms.” Junhoe replied dryly, cringing at the bitterness of the beer. Why couldn’t Donghyuk have gotten him wine? He thought.
“He really is, once you got to know him. Did you know that he came out during his late teens? He fell in love with this high school junior back in the day. He told me that, when I was in Miami on a student transfer course. And I had been waiting for him to come around…”
“Wait, what did you say?” Junhoe interrupted him.
“I used to have the biggest crush on him so I was sort of waiting for him to…” Donghyuk began.
“No, not that. What’s this about him falling in love with a junior from his high school?” Junhoe asked, brows furrowed, looking sombre, as he tried to connect Donghyuk’s words into his brain to make sense.
“Yeah. He was dating the most popular girl in his high school back then, some cheerleader, I can’t remember her name, Felicia-something. But he said he saw this junior trying out for cheerleader auditions and he was taken by the boy, it made him question his preference. Babe, are you alright? You look a little pale.” Donghyuk was saying, but Junhoe could not hear him at all, the beer falling from his hand. The paper cup hitting the floor and spilling its contents was the only telltale sign of his stupidity.
2017.
The project had come to a standstill because the developer and the contractor had way too many disagreements. Bobby went over the folder again. There seem to be way too many overheads made by the contractor and the developer had began questioning the accounts. The intercom buzzed.
“Yes?” Bobby asked distractedly, eyes still scanning the documents.
“You have a visitor, Mr Kim.” The receptionist informed him. She sounded a little distracted. He did not have any appointments today, though.
“Who is it?” He asked, mildly curious.
“He says his name is Koo Junhoe.” She answered. Bobby stopped scanning the folder. There were some names that when you hear invoke such a landscape of emotions, it would be an understatement to say you were overwhelm. Koo Junhoe was such a name for him. He had thought he would never hear that name again.
“Did you say Koo Junhoe?” He asked again.
“That I did.” She answered and Bobby could already imagine her being absolutely taken by that beautifully sculpted face and that wondrous smile.
“You may let him in.” Bobby exhaled, closed the folder and stood up, adjusting his suit and pushing back his hair. He threw the folder on his desk carelessly, his heart becoming unsettled as it always did whenever the thought of Junhoe crossed his mind. The torch Bobby held for the longest time died that summer night three years ago, when he came to the realisation that the one person he loved so passionately, had hated him with just as much fervour as the flames he had fed his heart with since his youth.
How the fates had played its harshest tune on him and shattered his heart when he finally heard exactly what Junhoe thought of him!
The door opened and Junhoe strutted in wearing that smile Bobby had enshrined in his heart since he was a teenager, despite the pain it had caused him.
“I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything important?” Junhoe inquired.
Three years. The college kid in tattered jeans and flannel shirts had disappeared. In its place stood a statuesque creature decked in a fine Italian suit, obviously tailor made to fit that heavenly body, Nothing had changed, Bobby might still suffer the agony of this heartbreak, but to see Junhoe seemingly happy and obviously doing well for himself was enough cause for him to share that happiness.
“You were not. I was just going through some paperwork…” Bobby explained and Junhoe sat across from his desk, waving his hand, a gesture Bobby had known all too well.
“I understand. No need to explain.” He intoned and Bobby nodded, allowing himself the pain of drinking in that face, which constantly plagued his dreams and seem intent to keep breaking his heart over and over again. “I actually came because Donghyuk has asked me to pass something to you, considering our offices are nearby, I told him I didn’t mind.” He explained, gazing around the office. “It’s been awhile since we last saw each other anyway. Good to catch up on old times, don’t you think?” Junhoe added, as if rubbing salt to the wound. Bobby settled himself heavily into his chair, resting his elbows on his desk, fingers steepled in to cover the lower half of his face.
“Perhaps I can offer you a drink?” He queried and Junhoe shook his head.
“No, thank you. I’m meeting up with Donghyuk to finalise the fitting for his wedding suit. “ He replied hastily. Wedding suit? Bobby thought and a lump, so hard and painful formed in his throat. Junhoe was gazing closely at his face, smile intact.
“Wedding?” Bobby asked, almost hesitantly.
“Yes. Donghyuk had asked me to personally pass you the invitation. We’ve been busy making the preparations these past few months, so I do apologise if this seem last minute. “ Junhoe recollected, feeling as if the exhaustion had finally caught up with him. He searched the lapels of his jacket for something, seem to have found it, and took it out. It was an envelope; intricate flower motifs embossed in gold set against a black background. It had Bobby’s name written on it. “It’s in two weeks and will be held at the grand ballroom of the Rockerfeller Centre. “ Junhoe informed him. Bobby nodded.
“Congratulations are in order, I guess. “ Bobby intoned, lips set into a grim line as he took the envelope from between Junhoe’s tapered fingers.
“I’ll be sure to pass them along to Donghyuk. The wedding is in two weeks’ time so hopefully, you’ll be able to make it. ” Junhoe quickly said and stood up, the beaming smile on his face mirroring a happiness that seem unimaginable. “Well, I have to be going.” Junhoe announced, smoothing his suit. “It was, um, nice to catch up, I guess. “ Junhoe sighed and Bobby nodded, not even offering his hand.
He watched as Junhoe walked out of his office and probably away from his life, forever. He gazed at the envelope, wishing he could rip it to shreds. He ended up resting his head on the table, letting the tears he always had to spare for Junhoe, pool on it, wallowing in his miserable existence.
Two weeks later…
Bobby did not know what he was doing there. He had set his mind not to attend, had even filled in the RSVP slip, but never got around to returning it. He made his way down the aisle that had been dotted with pots of fresh tea roses. The ceiling had been alternately hung with mini chandeliers illuminating the whole place in a soft orange glow so befitting for such an auspicious occasion.
Bobby did not know why he wanted to torture himself this way, but he felt this was the only way he could get over loving Junhoe, by witnessing with his own eyes as Junhoe vowed to be someone else’s life partner. Maybe if he saw it for himself, he could convince his heart to let go and finally be done with this travesty. The place had started to fill up with guests and he found his seat quite easily on the second row. He had already planned to leave right after they took their vows. He was not even staying for the reception.
Five minutes later, the groom appeared, escorted by his groomsmen and that was when things got pretty confusing for Bobby. Donghyuk, looking resplendent as any groom should on such an important day, took his place before the altar looking both nervous and excited. It was the appearance of his best man that befuddled Bobby.
Junhoe, dressed in a grey and white pinstriped suit stood beside and slightly behind him, hands clasped in front, holding a box that could only contain the wedding rings. He looked extremely attractive, as usual, almost ready to snatch everyone’s attention from the groom at any given moment with that debonair, million dollar good looks. He was looking out onto the crowd, searching and finally settling onto Bobby’s confused face. He had flashed that wondrous, beguiling smile and had topped it off with a wink that was both cheeky and absolutely teasing, as if to say that he got Bobby good.
That was when Bobby realised that he had been taken for a ride. While Donghyuk and his intended were exchanging vows, Bobby sat, ruminating over what had just transpired, trying to make sense of things. The reception was in full swing as everybody got to their seats. Bobby realised that he had been placed together with the groomsmen. He was not surprised when Junhoe walked over and took the seat next to him.
“What’s going on?” Bobby whispered.
“A wedding. That’s what’s going on.” Junhoe whispered back.
“But I thought…” Bobby began.
“That it was me and Donghyuk?” Junhoe surmised. He was sitting too close, their knees were almost touching and Bobby was finding it hard to believe that the smile being flashed his way was sincere and completely inundated with sheer happiness. "I broke up with Donghyuk three years ago." Junhoe revealed.
"Why?" Bobby asked, surprised, although there was some sort of a paradigm shift happening within his heart. It was as if a dead garden had started blooming flowers once more after everyone had given up on it.
"It was the night I realised that I had committed too many mistakes over the years." He admitted softly in remorse with that deep, husky voice of his.
"It was?" Bobby echoed, unable to believe what he was hearing, right now.
“And I want to make it up to you. If you would let me." Junhoe insisted.
"You do?" Bobby whispered, smiling, his eyes curving into crescents. A smile Junhoe had a new appreciation for.
"Do you have plans after the wedding?” Junhoe asked, he had placed his hand casually on Bobby’s knee, eyes sparkling with excitement. Bobby swallowed the constriction on his throat.
“I…I have no plans. None at all.” He whispered, his voice almost trailing off in disbelief.
“Great, I think we should go watch a movie. Would you be up for that?” Junhoe asked. He had not released his hold on Bobby’s knee. Almost naturally, Bobby's hand found its place on top of Junhoe’s.
“That sounds like a really good plan.” Bobby replied, his heart, the one he has kept hidden from even himself, leaping into the wilderness it was meant to thrive on after so long.
END