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The loud ringing of her cellphone's alarm startled her greatly, the loud ringing echoing in the dorm room, occupied by only her once again. She really wonders how and why Brody was able to find somewhere else to room all the time.
She could only groan in frustration, waving her arms towards the sound of annoyance and knocking it on the floor in the process. "Fuck me." She groaned even louder.
The phone now being too far from her to turn off without getting out of the bed. She reached a pillow to place over her head, praying that she set her alarm wrong and it was actually a weekend. As if on cue though, her phone started ringing. She sat up immediately, eyes still closed and annoyance still present on her face.
The pillow had fallen at this point, falling on top her phone's place on the floor. She let the nth groan out of her throat before reaching down and frantically moving her hands around to feel around for it.
Eventually, she was able to find the pillow and pushed it off of the device, answering it without checking to see who it was.
"Good morning, sleeping beauty!" The voice on the other side sang into her ear. Her eyes squinted at the loud voice, reaching the phone a little further from her ear, not too far where the other couldn't hear her, though. "Why didn't you text me?" Was all she let out, making it clear to her friend that she was very unhappy with his happy-go-lucky attitude at this time of morning.
She could practically hear the smile in his voice at the next reply, "If I didn't, I know you wouldn't wake up! I'm picking you up earlier than usual, remember?"
He continues singing his way through his sentence. Clementine could only blink in confusion at this, trying her best to remember.
"Wh-" Before she could even ask the question, his volume rose, causing the girl to flinch away once again. "We're picking up Violet, remember?" Her eyebrows relaxed at the mention of her name.
"Oh, right." She says simply, finally opening her eyes to adjust to the light from her window shining into the dorm. "Alright, text me when you're here." She says, before cutting off his next sentence by hanging up the whole phone. She loved him, but it's much too early for his loud voice singing into her ear.
She reached over the side of her bed to pick up the fallen pillow she had previously abused, the scowl on her face being replaced with a small grin.
Right, they were picking up Violet. That was a thing that was happening. It had taken a lot of convincing at first, Violet not wanting to feel like a nuisance, but Clementine insisted over and over that she wasn't, she'd never be.
After weeks of complaining to the higher ups, Violet was able to get a dorm room change. It wasn't completely official yet, as they haven't been able to stick her into another room yet for some reason. From what she's heard from her though, Minerva spends as little time as that room as possible. "Don't worry, Clem. I barely see her, promise."
Still, Clementine just wishes they never had to cross paths. Just thinking about Minerva daring to send her a dirty look or make a snarky remark just about makes her blood boil.
She made sure that Violet knew her room was almost always available for her, as her roommate prefers being pretty much anywhere but. It pretty much felt like she had a room to herself, which was nice but got lonely sometimes.
It's been a little over a month or so after finding Violet crying in that bathroom. The thought still put creases in Clementine's forehead.
While she would've done anything for that to not have happened to her, she was extremely glad she was able to be there for her. She found herself in the presence of the blonde almost as often as she was in the presence of Louis. Not quite though, that boy practically breathed down her neck.
She hasn't seen Minerva that often since, doing her best to ignore her at all costs. For if she dared cross Violet's path in front of her, she wasn't confident in herself that she wouldn't drop whatever she was doing to absolutely kick her ass.
Violet and her were closer than they've ever been. In fact, before that night she probably wouldn't have called Violet anything more than a friendly acquaintance. Now, she found that she felt an emptiness in her stomach when she wasn't around the girl.
The three of them spent most afternoons together. Whether it was at a party Vi had been invited to, or the three of them in the library pretending to get work done.
Louis had even grown fond of her. Though, she never doubted he wouldn't. She knew how he used to feel about her, believing the facade she had worked so hard to build. He quickly learned that she wasn't that girl. A girl who only cared for herself and her girlfriend.
Someone that didn't believe in school. (That part, may be partially true.) Someone that didn't exist purely for Minerva's gain.
Clementine did fill him in on the gist of things, she left out the detail of Minerva putting her hands on Violet. It wasn't her place to tell. All he knows is that they're long broken up, and that they were never ever getting back together.
Before finally getting up she decides to send a certain girl a good morning message, making sure the other could remember what she apparently couldn't. She smiled at her phone while typing, beyond happy that she could now spend mornings with two of her closest friends.
She pulled off the covers, shivering at the cold air hitting all her exposed skin. She stretched out her arms, her eyes falling on the nightstand with a note from Brody:
I'm going away for labor day weekend so you'll have the room to yourself for a few days!! The only thing I stress is for you to PLEASE pick up after yourself. If I come back on Tuesday with the room torn apart I will go down to administration and demand you be expelled! :p Also. don't bother asking me. Violet and Louis are always welcome to come over. - Brody <3
Clementine smiled at the heart drawn at the end of the note, smiling at the close-ended threat her roommate made. She blinked in confusion though, wasn't it only Thursday? Surely, Brody must've had classes to attend? She doesn't let herself get a migraine over the thought though, grateful she had even thought to console her.
Deciding not to dwell on it for too long, she finally makes her way towards the wardrobe.
-
Louis was turning around what seemed like the fifth corner at this point, refusing to listen to the nagging girl in his passenger seat.
"I told you that you made a wrong turn, how do you not know how the dorm buildings work, yet?"
Clementine was exasperated, having just got off the phone with Violet and trying to find which dorm room belonged to her. He takes one hand off the wheel to flip her off, giving her no choice but to text back their waiting friend.
Vi: We're going to be so late. (sent 8:43 a.m.)
Vi: You better make sure to tell Louis to wear a nice thick scarf because I'm going to break his neck. >:( (sent 8:44 a.m)
A smile spread across Clementine's face at this, turning towards her friend to make him aware of the very real threat at hand. His eyebrows furrowed before continuously telling her to text Violet that 'he's sorry and it's his first day!'
She only smiled and brought her eyes back up to the road, "Wait, turn right here." At this point he seemed tired of arguing, accepting that; okay, MAYBE he might've been wrong.
The smile only appears on her face when they finally pull up the dorm building: B14. For now she'll let him survive without the millions of 'I told you so's' waiting for him. She just stays quiet and quickly texts Violet that they'd finally arrived.
Violet read her message pretty quickly, deciding not to reply. So, Clementine just put her phone back in her pocket and waited for the familiar face to come out of the door. "I could've found the dorm easier if you hadn't been yelling at me the whole time." A voice shocked her out of her thoughts, she turned back to the drivers seat at this before smiling.
"It's okay, Louis. I know you don't like to listen." She keeps her playful smile on show as he rolls his eyes, fighting the own small smile threatening to appear on his face at her antics. "She said she's coming?"
Clementine only nodded; "She read the message, she'll be out in a minute."
Louis keeps his eyes on her, his lips quirking up at the ends. "You know, I don't even think you smile like that when I come to pick you up." He scoffs, feigning jealousy but only teasing the girl. This comment causes Clementine's smile to fade, eyes casting downwards. "I—what?" clearly shocked at his comments, an accusing tone in his voice.
"I'm teasing, Clem." As if on cue, the main door that led to the dorms flew open; out came Violet with a furrow in her brow, and a bag over her shoulder.
She made her way to the Jeep, opening the door and throwing her bag in before climbing in after it. "Good morning, thanks for the ride. You really didn't have to."
She says, her tone wavering. Clementine's frown deepened at this, opening her mouth to reply before being cut off by Louis, "It's no problem, Vi! This can be an everyday thing. Just say the word!" Her frown turned into a grimace, trying her best to smile. "Yeah, thanks."
Maybe it was just her thinking too hard, being worried over nothing. But she couldn't help but wonder if the girl had an encounter with her ex-girlfriend, ultimately though, she decided to keep it to herself.
Without another word, Louis was stepping on the gas and they were on their way to the main campus.
-
Vi: eyes on your textbook moron (sent 3:28 p.m.)
A smile spread across Clementine's face when her phone lit up with the text message, scoffing and lifting her head to the girl next to her. Violet didn't acknowledge her presence and kept on writing the essay that was due in a day's time, a smirk still permanent on her face. "Why are you texting me when you're right here?" She chuckles at the girl's antics.
Violet shook her head with a smile, moving her eyes so they were focused on the brunette. "Well, you were so focused on your phone that you might have not heard me." She smiles, turning her eyes back to her paper without another word.
The two of them were alone in the library today, Louis was still kind enough to drop them off; but felt that '"Quality time with Marlon was in order." She wasn't really upset though, knowing he'd be blowing up her phone before too long.
As if the blonde girl had literally been reading her mind, she spoke up while still keeping her eyes on her assignment. "So, are Louis and Marlon like, a thing?" She asks out of nowhere, shocking the brunette out of her own thoughts.
Clementine only shrugged; still looking down at her phone. "Nah, Louis sure wants to be though." Violet doesn't respond at first, only nodding before putting her pencil down finally. Stretching out her arms that had become cramped in the short time they'd been glued to their library seats.
"You know, before I met you; I could've sworn you had a thing for him." Violet says out of the blue, now looking directly at Clementine.
The smile that breaks out on Clementine's face is so wide that Violet's actually worried it'd split in half. She looks straight at the girl now, raising her eyebrows in disbelief, a smirk still present.
"That's hilarious. Also, kinda gross. But hilarious." Violet only raises one of eyebrows at this statement, giving her friend a questioning look.
"Why is that so funny?" She asks simply, genuinely confused as to why she had found it so amusing to ask. The brunette shakes her head again, "Louis is literally like my brother, that's disgusting."
Violet returns the smile at this comment. She leans her elbows on the table, placing her face in between her hands in order to get in a less stiff position. "Ouch, he's that far into the friendzone? I'm cringing on his behalf."
Clementine lets out a full laugh this time, shaking her head at the other. "We don't like each other like that, I'm sure he'll be fine with Marlon." She finally sets her phone down, now turning her full attention to her friend. Both of their homework pushed away to the side.
Though, Violet deserved a break. Clementine's finished like, one equation and called it quits.
"So, um, Brody is out for the holiday. And I was going to ask you and Louis if you wanted to hangout sometime this weekend." Clementine changes the subject, just now remembering the note her roommate had left.
She already knew Louis would probably be going home for the holiday. It wasn't completely a lie, though. She would ask Louis, and then he'd proceed to tell her that he had "extremely important family duties" which just consisted of him helping his mom cook and babysitting a handful of his sister-in-law's kids.
Violet's smile fades at this, eyebrows furrowing a bit and looking away.
This confused Clementine to no end. She looked so unsure at the question, making Clementine believe that maybe she'd read her wrong, maybe she was taking up too much of her time away.
Was spending the night too much? She'd stayed the night that one time, but that'd been an exception, she didn't want to force her friend to go back to the girlfriend that had been hitting her. Violet looks at her phone before replying, typing something on her phone before putting it down.
"I-uh, I'll have to see if I'm free." Clementine only casts her eyebrows down a bit, wondering why she seemed so unsure of her answer, she decides not to pry though, if she didn't want to hang out that was fine. Clementine offers her a small smile, before nodding in confirmation and turning back to her long forgotten homework. She tries not to think too hard about it.
-
The two had spent most of the day at the library, Louis only picking them up around six in the evening, but at least most of their assignments were done or damn near.
Clementine couldn’t help but let the little incident earlier plague her mind though. She couldn’t for the life of her figure out why Violet replied to way she did. She didn’t dare mention it to Louis, though. Knowing for sure he’d accuse her of thinking about it too hard. And okay, she probably was.
Their time was well spent together she thought, Violet still replied normally and joked with her after the ordeal. But Clementine has always been an observational person, and it seemed that the girl had become incredibly tense after her suggestion.
Clementine found herself looking a bit longer than she should’ve been when Violet got out of Louis’ car, but she felt herself smile when Violet turned back to them and sent a small wave, before disappearing into her dorm building.
“Making sure she gets in safe?” Louis voice came out of nowhere, startling her a bit out of silence. Her hand flying to her chest before she glared at the boy next to her; “Jesus, warn me when you speak.” Her hand slowly retreats from her chest, landing in her lap. He only laughed, shaking his head before pulling out of the parking spot they were in.
Before she’s able to stop herself, she finds herself quickly saying; “Do you think I ask her out too often?” She looks at the boy and his eyebrows raise so far up that they could practically be molded into his hairline.
She finally realizes how she words it and begins stuttering to fix her phrasing. “I mean like, hanging out. I don’t know. Did she seem uncomfortable to you?” She lets her embarrassment fade out as quickly as it appeared, concern now present on her face.
It was at this point that the stoplight they’d been at turned green and Louis was back facing the road before shrugging. “I don’t know. You should know, you’ve been with her all day. She seemed alright to me, though.”
She feels herself deflate a bit in her seat, frowning at the answer he’d given. “Oh, well maybe she really was uncomfortable with riding with us. I shouldn’t have pried.” The frown stayed on her face, her eyebrows furrowing a bit at the thought that she’d made her friend so uncomfortable.
“Don’t worry about it, Clem. You can always just ask.” She nods in response, mostly to herself as Louis wasn’t looking directly towards her.
“Anyway, guess who’s accompanying me home this beautiful, lovely, incredibly wonderful Labor Day weekend!”
He practically exclaims this, and Clem just smirks at him. Deciding to humor him with a dramatic sigh, she places her left hand under her chin and rubs it, furrowing her eyebrows feigning deep thoughts. “Huh. That one’s hard. Does the name begin with an M and end with an N?”
She smiles at him and he only breaks out in one identical to her own. “Why, Miss. You’re particularly good at this game. Do you have any psyche powers I should know about?”
Clementine can only smile, shuffling herself towards him as far as her body will take her with a seat belt on.
“Louis!” She’s practically beaming with happiness for her friend now, shoving him lightly on the shoulder. “Okay, okay, don’t get too happy, he’s coming as my friend.”
Her smile fails to fade though, only moving back in her seat. “Yeah, okay. Let’s see how long that’ll last.”
-
Clementine didn’t have classes on Friday, so really her break started a bit earlier than others. She started it already sleeping into about 11:00 in the morning, and it was extremely nice for once.
Deciding that she didn’t want to spend the day in her room, she got up and washed her face pretty early on. For once though, she didn’t have any plans beforehand as her best friend was going to busy packing and catching his flight today.
Violet also hadn’t texted her this morning which was a bit unusual. After the conclusion she’d come to the night before though, she decided it’d be best to not text her.
Trying her best not to dwell on it, she stepped out of her dorm building, shivering at the cold air that hit her and began walking in one direction with no destination in particular in mind.
Maybe she’d stop by Starbucks and grab something to drink and walk around the park. Get some fresh air, for if she had to step into another classroom or library at all this weekend she might just lose her mind.
The breeze felt colder today than it had for the last few weeks, she couldn’t help but cringe and mentally scold herself for not bringing a bigger jacket. She sighs in relief when she finally steps into the cafe she’d been looking for. The nice warm heat allows her body to lose the tension it gained with her hugging herself for warmth the entire way here. God, she misses Louis’ car. And Louis. But mostly his car.
The place didn’t seem as crowded as it usually was, most students probably in their last classes of the week or on their way to visit families.
While her eyes were scanning the building, they froze on someone all-too familiar.
“Violet?” The girl was shocked out of her gaze focused on her phone, startled until her face breaks out into a beautiful smile after noticing that it was Clementine that was in her presence.
“Clem! I was just texting you.”
This caused the other girl to fall into an identical smile. “You were?” She asks, cringing at the hopefulness that came out of her voice. And the girl only nods.
“Yeah, I was going to let you know that I did want to come over tonight.” She goes a bit quiet towards the end, eyes casting downwards before continuing. “That is, if you still wanted to.”
The happiness in her voice begins to diminish the longer it was taking the brunette to react. Clementine noticed this and nodded her head, “Yeah, yeah. Of course.” She settles on saying, sending the girl another warm smile.
Just then, Clementine's name was called and she went to grab the drink she previously ordered.
-
Violet was quiet on their way to her dorm, only really speaking when it was necessary. It was so silent that it was almost awkward at some points. When they reached the door, Clementine opened it so the girl could make her way in first. "So, Brody's gone?" She decided to break to silence, dropping her jacket on the top of Brody's bunk and sitting down.
"Yeah, gone for break."
Clementine confirms, shrugging like it was obvious. She could practically touch the tension in the room. Neither girl really saying anything, in fear of crossing some kind of fake boundary they had both created from each other. "Louis somehow got Marlon to go home with him." The brunette brings up, playing it safe for the time being.
Violet raises her eyebrow at this, a smirk appearing on her face. "Oh?" Clementine only nods, smiling at the thought of her friend.
He's probably home by now, if not extremely close. Though knowing him, he'd probably text her as soon as he landed.
The blonde also nods slowly, opening her mouth to say something before her phone goes off. It startles the both of them at first, before Clem just chuckles at the realization. Not wanting to make the girl any more uncomfortable than she's assumed she has, she goes to fish her laptop from her closet.
Violet only looked at the messages appearing on her screen one after the other, a frown setting deep on her face before typing a reply. Clementine is turning around at this point. Her laptop in her arms and a smile on her face. "Do you wanna watch-" She stops mid sentence, seeing the other girl's deep frown. "Hey, what's wrong?"
This causes the blonde to finally look up, eyes slightly wide in realization that she'd made her reaction obvious. "Oh, uh, it's nothing."
She does her best to form a smile, putting her phone down next to her. Clementine's eyebrows furrow at this. She wasn't sure if she should ask. On one hand, she really wanted to know what was bothering her friend, on the other, she didn't want to make her any more upset than she already supposedly has.
She ultimately decides with the former, placing her computer down on her own bed but keeping her feet frozen on the ground. "Violet, you know If I-" She breathes in, letting her words fall out faster than intended. "If I make you uncomfortable, you don't have to hang out with me. I understand If I overstep a bit."
The silence was almost deafening, the older girl just blinked at her. Clementine let her own eyes fall shut, preparing for the worst. She knew she shouldn't have invited her here. You let someone spend the night once and you just think they're an obligatory best friend. It was a dumb thought in the first place. She let her feelings get in the way of her own logic.
After a few painful seconds of silence and Violet's own shocked expression, "What? Clementine that's not, you could never make me uncomfortable." This caused Clementine to look up, still standing pretty stiffly in the middle of the dorm. She decided to let the other continue, staying absolutely silent.
"That's just—you literally couldn't be more wrong."
The frown stayed prominent on her face, shaking it a bit in disbelief. As if on cue, her phone went off once again. But this time, she only looked at it's place on the bed sitting next to her.
Clementine glances at the phone as well, eyebrows furrowing a bit. What was wrong with her? "It's just, you always seem tense when I ask to do things. I shouldn't have just assumed you wanted to be friends after that night. I'm sorry."
She knew that thought wasn’t fair. Deep down she knew this wasn’t the cause, but her insecurities were taking over all the thoughts forming in her head. Clementine still stands there, unconvinced. Partly wishing she had never said anything in the first place.
Violet's eyebrows immediately furrow, letting her eyes glance to look the brunette directly in her face. Before she can stop herself, she stands straight up and walks so she's right in front of the girl.
She doesn't dare touch her, only trying to get the girl to look into her eyes. "Clem, you've been absolutely nothing but kind to me, it is overwhelming, but not for the reasons you're assuming." She lets the corner of her mouth perk up a bit, eyebrows still glued in that deep furrow.
"Exactly the opposite, actually." She feels herself chuckle a bit, it sounds pretty empty though. Not a real laugh, not the beautiful laugh Clementine has been graced to hear so many times before. "I never wanted you to feel like it was an obligation to hang out with me because of what happened."
The tension in the room is so thick, both girls letting their similar insecurities out in the open now. Both extremely vulnerable, not knowing what line they could be inches away from crossing so easily. She sighs deeply, closing her eyes to take a deep breath.
"Can we sit down? Please?" She settles on asking and Clementine nods without letting a second thought cross her mind.
Clementine backs up to sit on her bunk, Violet hesitantly finding a place next to her.
It feels like déjà vu, both of the girls sitting so quietly in Clementine's dorm room, Violet admitting something so softly, her eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed. This time though, an ocean of tears wasn’t falling from her eyes.
It made Clementine want to scream, to engulf the girl in a hug. She didn't know what was wrong, but she was deeply upset with herself for letting the girl somehow in the same position as she was in merely a month before.
She found herself scared of what Violet was going to say. Had Minerva still been hitting her? Had someone else found their way into her head, reversing all the reassuring she'd spent weeks sharing?
She felt empty almost, as if everything she'd done to make the girl feel cared about had gotten opposite results. Violet took another deep breath, turning her head so she was looking at Clementine, an unsure expression glued to her face.
The blonde took a deep breath, before opening her mouth and speaking for the first time that felt like in forever. Though, it'd obviously been no more than a minute. Clementine couldn't tell the difference.
"It's just, despite everything, Minerva did always express her attraction to me, she showed that she wanted me, in a physical aspect anyway, at least; when it was more convenient for her." She spoke so slowly, whispering the words so soft and quiet.
And if Clementine hadn't been so close to her, she was sure she would've missed it. "But you, when I'm with you, when you hold me," She pauses, taking a deep breath before continuing, "For once it actually feels like I'm needed, and not just a place for someone else's desire. And if I'm honest, I need you just as much.”
She breathes in, voicing practically shaking at this point.
“It scares me."
She glances up at Clementine's eyes for just about half a second before casting when downwards and speaking quickly and louder once again; "I, fuck, that—that probably makes no sense." She deflates slightly, looking everywhere in the room but directly at the girl beside her.
Clementine's face stays absolutely blank. And quite frankly, it's scaring the absolute shit out of Violet. Not knowing what to do, she shakes her head quickly, fearing the worst.
Fearing that she'd screwed up, fearing that she might've just lost the one person that made her feel whole. She makes a split-second decision to backtrack as quickly as possible, looking back towards Clementine and her face scrunches up in embarrassment.
"Shit, I'm sorry. Forget that I said anything," The frown stays present on her face, now choosing to face a different direction. It wasn't until this that Clementine came back to earth, shaking herself back to reality and blinking a bit. Before Violet could turn away too far, she reaches out for the girl in front of her before she could stop herself.
Without thinking, she places her right hand on the blonde's cheek and slowly turns her head to face her again. A frown deep on her face, she wants to hit herself for being the cause of that; for processing things a bit too slowly.
"Violet, I do need you. But I don't want you to feel like you need me to just be. I want you to feel like I'm always here. Because I will always be there for you, nothing you could do could make me want to give you anything less than happiness." She hears herself speak quickly, barely getting a breath in between punctuation.
Her own face heating up at the realization of how close the two were; merely inches apart at this point. "Maybe I'm going too fast, thinking too far ahead. It just feels like when you're unhappy, everything in my brain just turns frantically trying to figure out what it is I can do to fix it."
She finds herself still speaking, unable to stop the words that are already so recklessly coming out of her mouth. Violet's eyes are glossy now, still locked directly at the girl in front of her. For a split second, Clementine can swear she's imagining things when she sees the other girl's eyes flick directly down to her lips.
Everything afterwards happens in what seems like slow motion. She doesn't let her mind wander too far when she feels herself getting closer.
Maybe she was imagining it, but she could swear the other girl was doing the same. Right when they were a millisecond from connecting the gap, Violet's phone goes off again, indicating another text message.
This seems to bring her back down to earth, snapping her face away from Clementine's. She moves her face away from the other girl's. Her eyebrows furrow again, a frown deep on her face. The phone dings again, and again, one after the other.
Violet's shaking her head now, leaving Clementine frozen in her place. "I shouldn't have, this wasn't supposed—“ She finds herself saying, seeing how distraught the action seemed to have made the blonde, "I'm sorry, Violet, I didn't mean-" She stopped herself, unsure of what she was even saying.
It wasn't true, she did mean to kiss her. How badly she wanted to. Apparently though, she'd read the situation wrong. The blonde was next to her, shaking her head and not saying a word; with the sound of her text messages repeatedly going off in the otherwise silent room.
It felt like an eternity later when Violet stood up, walking to pick up the phone on the bed opposite of Clementine's. Looking at the messages with a frown on her face. She turns to look at Clementine, expression almost unreadable. "I, I'm sorry, Clementine."
Without another word, she grabbed her phone and her jacket that had it's place glued to the corner of Brody's bed. Her voice had wavered heavily, her eyes blinking away tears that had threatened to leave. "I think it's best that I leave, I'll text you."
The blonde had practically sprinted out of her dorm at that point, leaving the younger girl frozen in her place, unable to move. Unable to blink. Unable to understand.