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“When are you going to tell him?”
Yuta groaned. He couldn’t count how many times he’d been asked that question in the past few months. Every day, it was ‘have you told him yet?’, ‘are you going to tell him?’, ‘okay fine, but you’re gonna right?’, any variation of that same question, Yuta had heard them all.
“I can’t Taeyong!” Yuta huffed, glaring at his friend, “it’s too soon.”
The two of them were in the training rooms, tidying up after their dance practice.
It had been a tiring day, with NCT 127’s comeback and all the schedules that came with it, not to mention the back and forth flights to the US. The members were all exhausted, Yuta could see the spark going from Taeyong’s eyes as even the leader was pushed to his limits.
“Too soon?” Taeyong laughed, rolling his eyes, “too soon? You’ve both been dancing around each other for years, it’s time you got it out in the open. So, what’s the problem?”
Yuta huffed, turning around, picking up his bag and heading towards the door “I’m scared he won’t feel the same, that I’ll scare him off.”
“Why would that scare him off, Yuta?” Taeyong sighed, crossing his arms, “out of everything, you’re scared that will make him run for the hills?”
“It’s not just that…,” Yuta deadpanned, turning to look at Taeyong with vulnerable eyes, “before... we were so close, but now. It’s like I never even see him. Besides what if he really doesn’t like me back?”
Taeyong nodded, humming and then, “Yuta, if there’s one thing I’m sure about, it’s that Ten, he loves you and more than just a friend. One of these days, he’s gonna find out, you’re not that great at hiding your affections.”
Yuta pursed his lips but didn’t say anything else. Ten didn’t feel the same way about Yuta. They’d always been there for each other, yeah, back in trainee days but now Yuta wasn’t too sure. He didn’t want to frighten him, or freak him out – it’s not every day you hear that one of your best friend has been hiding feelings for you for years.
Taeyong was just leaving when he turned around and said, “c’mon let’s go, Doyoung’s organised dinner.”
Yuta followed the other boy out of the dance studio and out the building. Both of them had face masks and hoodies to cover their identities, although it was already late so they didn’t have to worry about fans bombarding them.
Once the cool air hit his face, a deep sigh fell from his lips. It was a nice night, refreshing. A crisp breeze and dark sky, lit up by stars and the ghostly moon, with fog drifting in patches over the skyline. Winter was approaching, but that didn’t bother Yuta anymore.
It was the memory of Ten holding him, or wrapping him up in blankets, that bothered him. They’d grown so far apart from back in their trainee days. Yuta missed it, he missed Ten.
His heart ached for Ten, he wanted to tell him, so badly. Every time he saw him walking around the SM building, in the dorm, or training, or just relaxing, Yuta wanted to tell him.
But Yuta couldn’t tell him, he couldn’t tell him then and he couldn’t now, even if it was accepted by the other NCT members. He just couldn’t. Afraid it would ruin their friendship, Yuta tried to bury his feelings, but when in the history of humanity, has that ever worked? Never.
His feelings for the brown eyed, brown haired Thai male just grew stronger. When Ten started coming back, training with them again for the 2018 comeback and the showcase, Yuta thought maybe, maybe one day, he could tell him. But then, too much time passed and Yuta shied away again.
When Ten finally started smiling again, even laughed, Yuta’s heart swelled and he thought, ‘there he is, that’s my Ten’, almost within touching distance, but also still so far away. It broke Yuta’s heart.
Maybe, they just weren’t meant to be.
-
Yuta returned to their dorm near midnight, stepping into the living room, to see Ten sat on the couch in silence, his back to
Yuta as he remained still. The others were no where in sight just him and the Thai boy.
At first, Yuta just stood there, unsure. He didn’t want to say anything, he wanted to run and hide and yet, he wanted Ten to turn around and say he felt the same. For what seemed like hours, Yuta stood there shocked, staring at the back of Ten’s head. Ten knew he was there, he’d known the minute Yuta had returned.
“T-ten?” Yuta asked carefully, stepping forwards, “are you okay?”
Ten turned to look at Yuta, his eyes were wide and open, like he was hurt. At first he didn’t reply, he just stared at Yuta from the sofa. His hair was messy, tousled, but nevertheless like it always was, like Ten always kept it when he was lounging at home. He was breathing normally, but Yuta could see the pain and confusion twisting in his eyes, the way his lips parted told Yuta that Ten was on the verge of saying something.
“How long?” Ten rasped, his voice low and deep, his jaw clenched, teeth gritted.
“Uh what –“
“How long Yuta?” Ten asked again, this time louder, harsher, “how long have you felt this way? Since back then?”
Yuta’s lips parted like a gasping fish. He didn’t know what to say. Should he lie and walk away, pretend he has no idea what’s going on, or should he just fess up to his feelings? He decides on none and stands there, vulnerable and afraid.
“Well?” Ten pressed, standing up now, he was dressed in one of Yuta baggy tops and a pair of joggers, but Yuta thought he was the most beautiful man he’d ever laid eyes on. It was so damn domestic, so normal.
“Yes,” Yuta muttered, stepping backwards, wanting to run and hide, “since then. Since…always.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Yuta looked at Ten then. His eyes were locked on Yuta’s, his expression solemn. Yuta wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he didn’t know what he wanted anymore.
Why had this all come about now? Had he made it too obvious? Had one of the other members said something to him?
“Because I didn’t want to…I thought I…didn’t want to scare you off – didn’t think you’d feel the same –“
“You think I don’t want you?” Ten growled, crowding Yuta against the wall, not caring that the Japanese boy was taller. In that moment Ten’s small stature didn’t matter.
Gulping, Yuta tried to look anywhere but Ten’s face, his heart hammering in his chest, eyes blown and wide.
“I uh, I don’t –“
“Dammit Yuta!” the darker haired male groaned, his hot, minty breath coating Yuta’s face, “you think I don’t want you, as much as you want me? I love you Yuta. I do. I really do. I have for a long time. Hell, I’m not some fragile piece of glass, I won’t run away. You could’ve told me.”
Yuta spluttered, shaking his head, “I didn’t want to pressure you – scare you off…didn’t know you f-felt the same. I-I didn’t know what to do. I wanted you to tell me, if you felt the same. B-but you didn’t and I just –“
“Fuck, Yuta, I’ve wanted you, since fuck, always. Wanted to kiss you, hold you, drive you wild…make you mine,” Ten growled, running his nose down Yuta’s neck, pressing his body against the sandy haired boy, gripping Yuta’s hips in his hands.
Yuta could smell Ten’s shampoo, feel the warmth of his body, trapping him, holding him, loving him. His eyes closed, a whine leaving his lips as Ten sucked his neck, leaving his mark, though it wouldn’t last long. He kissed, nipped, bit and sucked Yuta’s neck, pressing his body right against Yuta’s, rolling his hips against the elder, so much so that Yuta’s mouth fell open, panting in Ten’s ear.
Finally, when Yuta couldn’t it hold back any longer, he groaned, so fucking submissively, “then Ten, please, make me yours.”
Ten’s lips were against Yuta’s within seconds, kissing him with such passion and force, that Yuta’s knees buckled.
Smirking against Yuta’s lips, Ten’s arms wrapped around the elder, pulling him off the wall, only to trail his hands down Yuta’s hips, to his legs, then squeezing his ass. At that point, Yuta groaned, arching against Ten, his lips parting, panting into the kiss.
“Ten, please,” Yuta whimpered, his head falling back against the wall, when the two drew back. Grinning slyly, Ten attacked Yuta’s neck again, at first leaving soft butterfly kisses, each saying, ‘I love you Yuta’, ‘wanna make you feel good Yuta’, ‘fuck, you’re beautiful Yuta’.
Then, when the Japanese boy practically mewled, hands digging into Ten’s back, fisting in the material of the top he was wearing, Ten grunted, parting his lips, leaving hot, wet kisses along tender skin.
“I’ve got you, Yuta,” Ten purred, tugging Yuta forwards by his hips, grinding against the elder. That left Yuta panting, his eyes squeezed shut, flushing all the way to his neck.
Smirking, Ten lifted Yuta surprisingly effortlessly off his feet, pushing him up against the wall, so that Yuta could wrap his legs around Ten’s waist.
Yuta raised a questioning eyebrow at the smaller boy, surprised that he had the strength to hold his weight so easily.
Shaking his head, Yuta grabbed Ten’s face desperately, pressing their lips together. He was so fucking needy and damn, did Ten love that. Yuta was never one to let go, to be vulnerable, to be like this, to let someone else take charge. And Ten loved that he was the only one able to see the Japanese boy like this.
Kissing Yuta back, Ten pressed both of his hands against the wall, grinding his hips against Yuta’s – both of them already so incredibly hard. At that point, Yuta moaned, biting Ten’s bottom lip, swirling his tongue into Ten’s mouth, massaging their tongues together, then sucked Ten’s bottom lip and top lip, desperately, lovingly, forcefully, never wanting to pull away, scared Ten would start teasing him again.
When Ten pulled back, he nudged Yuta’s nose with his own, prompting the elder to open his eyes. Slowly, but surely, Ten was looking into hazel orbs, hooded and dark. Yuta’s cheeks held a rosy glow, his lips reddened and swollen, eyes wide and dilated, looking at Ten with that damn,vulnerable look, through his thick eyelashes.
“Fuck, Yuta,” Ten chuckled, kissing Yuta’s jaw, then nipping his earlobe, tugging softly, “you look so adorable.”
Yuta sighed happily, his head falling back against the wall, “please, Ten, please…”
Grinning cheekily, Ten drew back, resting his forehead against Yuta’s, “what do you want? Tell me.”
Yuta whined, biting his bottom lip, jutting his hips against Ten’s, then breathlessly whimpered, “I-I…please, Ten, please.”
“Yuta, you’re so cute,” Ten cooed, nosing Yuta’s neck, pressing soft kisses over his Adam’s apple, “so good to me.”
Yuta nodded, rolling his hips against Ten’s, “yes, yes, all for you. Only for you.”
Now, that was fucking hot – Ten growled, smashing his lips against Yuta’s again. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the feeling of Yuta’s lips against his. They were so warm and soft, so delicate and adorably pouty.
It reminded Ten of trainee days, his bright eyes and defiant smile, wanting to make it big despite being the only Japanese trainee in all of SM.
It reminded Ten of debut, Yuta now, all muscle and heart, but still the same Yuta, still his Yuta, always his Yuta.
Yuta let Ten take control of the kiss, letting him suck, nip and dominate his mouth. All Yuta did was reciprocate the kiss, moaning and arching against Ten’s body, which was seriously doing wonders to Ten.
All Yuta had to do was tug at Ten’s hair, pant or whimper and Ten was rolling his hips against Yuta’s again, rubbing their clothed erections against each other’s.
“Only for me, eh?” Ten smirked when he pulled back from the kiss, nuzzling Yuta’s neck teasingly, “you’re all mine, are you? Just mine?”
Yuta, already sweating, hot and bothered, all flushed and blushes, nodded, “yes, yes, yours, all yours. Just yours Ten.”
Ten grinned cheekily, “good. Want me to take care of you?” Another nod and small, innocent whine.
“You gonna be good for me baby?” Ten purred, biting Yuta’s bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth, still grinding his hips against Yuta’s, all while keeping his eyes locked on the elder’s.
Another nod, shallow pants leaving Yuta’s red, swollen lips, “yes, yes, I’ll be g-good. Promise.”
“Hmmm,” Ten hummed, his eyes dark, “love you more that you know, do you want me too look after you?”
Yuta’s eyes shut, a whimper escaping his lips, blushing again, burying his face in Ten’s neck, “I-I want you to…yes, I want you, please, fuck Ten, please.”
Ten chuckled, lifting Yuta off the wall awkwardly and carried him to Yuta’s bedroom; thankful that WinWin was away in China, kicking the door shut with his foot, before placing Yuta down on the bed gently and hovered over him, “I’ve got you, Yuta. I’ve got you, gonna make you feel so good, okay?”
Yuta nodded, arching against Ten as his lips moved down Yuta’s neck, to his collarbones, pinning his hands above his head.
That night, Ten traced Yuta’s hipbones with his lips, he memorised every sound and whine Yuta whimpered into the darkness. He ran his fingertips all over Yuta’s muscled chest, felt his heart pounding, learnt what drove Yuta wild, when he nipped at his chest, sucked his neck, tugged his hair.
Ten felt the warmth and love in each of Yuta’s kisses, felt the searing, passionate fire Yuta had felt for Ten all these years.
That night, Ten took care of Yuta, in every way possible, he made his toes curl, his back arch, hips jerk. He made him moan, gasp and whimper Ten’s name, repeatedly, as their bodies became one, sinking, slipping, falling deeper, and deeper within one another, sharing the same air, the same heartbeat, the same everything.
That night, Ten learnt that perhaps Yuta didn’t like to be in control, all of the time.