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English
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Gen Prompt Bingo Round 14
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Published:
2019-01-06
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403
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1/1
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4
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36
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Watch Out, You Have Me Outnumbered!

Summary:

"Safety in numbers" means something a little different to the Doctor.

Notes:

This was written for Gen Prompt Bingo, for the prompt "We're surrounded!"

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Work Text:

There's safety in numbers. This is something the Doctor has learned over the course of a very long and, it's fair to say, eventful life: the more of your enemies there are, the safer it is. It's a bit counter-intuitive, but quite a few things in life are like that. And it makes sense, if you stop to think about it.

Point one: People are stupider in groups. And, yes, stupid is dangerous, but it's an easier kind of dangerous than clever. Especially when you go around armed primarily with your wits, a sonic screwdriver, and possibly a jelly baby or a nice biscuit.

Point two: If lots of people are threatening you at once, and they're all a little bit nervous – or a lot nervous, even better – they might all get it into their heads that it would probably be better if someone else made the first move. The Doctor has had excellent results taking advantage of this hesitation on at least one memorable occasion. Of course, for it to work properly, you do have to make them nervous first. A reputation helps. Or just being very good at taking advantage of point three.

Point three: If you're surrounded by lots and lots of very big, scary-looking creatures with lots and lots of very big, scary-looking weapons, if they've got you exactly where they think they want you and there's obviously no hope left for you... Well, that's best situation of all, isn't it? Because that's the precise moment when looking back at them without a glimmer of fear and and casually implying that they're the ones who really ought to be worried about you has the maximum possible effect. Of course, it takes some practice to pull this one off. Practice, and a certain amount of natural talent. But once mastered, it comes in handy all the time.

And once you have points one, two, and/or three working for you, then, of course, you can... You can... Oh, you can think of something, surely! Thinking of something is the easy part. And it's so much easier to think when you're surrounded with boring thugs than it is with one villain monologuing in your ear. So much easier to hear yourself think up something clever.

Yes, any moment now, you're going to think up something very, very clever, indeed. You just can't wait to find out what it's going to be.