Chapter Text
Ronan Lynch loved to dream about light, but as much as he loved the light and how the sensation of it kept his thoughts warm and his mind feeling safe, he loved to dream about something else more: Adam Parrish.
It had only been a few weeks since Adam had left on a trip for one of his college classes, the group journeying across the state to look at one boring historical sight after the next, and already Ronan was beginning to feel himself swell to the brim with anxiety. He knew better than anyone else that Adam would be fine on his own, he had done just fine practically taking care of himself for years when he thought no one was looking. He was always mindful of his surroundings and would constantly play through scenario after scenario in the back of his head of all the possible horrible things that could occur and how he’d get himself out of whatever situation he needed to. Adam would be fine, but still Ronan couldn’t help but worry about him.
When Ronan wasn’t worrying about Adam, he found bitterly, that he was busy filling all his time up missing him. Adam was gone and so were Gansey, Blue, and Henry. The Greywaren was alone. He spent a lot of his time at The Barns with Opal and Chainsaw, keeping himself busy and his thoughts at bay trying his best to come up with new ways to bring life back to the farm. He thought that if he could somehow manage it and have the place bustling with noise and new, yet familiar, smells by the time everyone returned that the looks of amazement on their faces would be so worth the loneliness he felt in his chest. More often than not and to no one’s surprise Ronan’s plans didn’t always work. He’d either dream alive the wrong thing by mistake or it would have been a complete an utter failure from the very beginning, his dream thing either not as powerful as the last or as powerful as it needed to be. After an hour or so of this process Ronan would stop and start cleaning up any messes he might have made, putting new nicnaques away in various drawers and on top of random shelves, finding himself feeling pleased rather than disappointed despite not having made any new progress, because even if he had not done anything worthy of praise he knew that because he was the mage, wherever he was, Adam could feel him dreaming.
Ronan spent the rest of the day walking the long, vast fields of The Barns, allowing for Opal to run ahead of him as she twirled again and again in the new dress Maura had gotten for her, the sun’s rays warming her skin as Chainsaw flew close by. He found it almost amusing how well the two seemed to get along, thinking privately that Chainsaw was almost protective of Opal despite the dream girl having come into existence, at least in his mind, before the bird had. He didn’t mind, though, since Opal was still very much like a little girl in ways that surprised him. It was nice having Chainsaw there ready to take the role of the doting older sibling, screeching loudly whenever she caught Opal doing something she shouldn’t have been doing, which normally ended with Opal refusing to speak with either of them, her arms crossed over his chest and a severe pout on her lips.
The three continued to walk the fields until The Barns were no longer in view, green grass all the eye could see for miles and miles. Ronan sat down in the fields before calling out for Opal not to get too far ahead, allowing for her to roam as she pleased as long as she was still within his view, before moving into a laying down position, resting his head on the pillow made by the palms of his hands. It was nearing evening by now and all the night’s bugs were beginning to emerge and start their day, mosquitos threatening to partake of every uncovered inch of Ronan’s body. He didn’t stop them, laying perfectly still, watching expressionless as clouds floated slowly by in the pinks and oranges of the sky. The sun was setting and the air was cool, he could sleep for hours out here if he wanted to, if he had been alone and not needed to take care of Opal, the girl sitting somewhere off to his right with Chainsaw resting on her knee, shoving handfuls upon handfuls of grass and twigs into her mouth. Ronan willed himself to stay awake despite how effortlessly his eyes began to flutter shut though it was a battle he was almost positive he would lose. In the evening air he was comfortable, able to relax knowing that he was still on his family’s property and out of any possible danger. The wind’s cool breeze gave him goosebumps when it blew and urged him to let rest take him. It had been a long unproductive day. He missed Adam.
Without having realized it Ronan had drifted off to sleep and when he woke next he did so in a dream rather than reality. He knew it was a dream instantly because there, lying next to him covered just barely in a navy blue comforter was a pair of bare, freckle spotted shoulders. It took everything in Ronan not to wake the other man up, not to roll as close to him as he could get and entangle their bodies together. Being with Adam showed a part of Ronan not many people got to witness, a gentler side of him that was always smiling, and cuddling, and even laughing. Adam showed Ronan that it was okay to let down your walls every once in a while, and for every wall he did let down Adam did the same for him. Since Ronan never lied, Adam didn’t either, at the very least not to Ronan. Their relationship was equal and so much more than either boy had ever thought it would be.
Fortunately for Ronan it didn’t take long for Adam to wake in this shared dream of theirs, the other boy rolling over first onto his back to stare blankly up at the unfamiliar popcorn ceiling, blinking sleep from his eyes quite a few times which Ronan couldn’t help but smile at, before then making his way onto his side, now facing the Greywaren. Somehow Adam had not felt Ronan’s presence immediately, this having had to be some sort of sign of just how close and comfortable the two were with one another, and the look on his face when he saw Ronan was there laying next to him said it all. He was surprised but happy, a smile that Ronan thought he would kill for appearing wide against Parrish’s cheeks.
“Howdy, partner,” Ronan greeted, appearing serious for a very brief moment before he and Adam both exploded into various sounds of snorts and laughter, “Damn, if I had known just dreaming about you would have you laying with me when I went to sleep then I wouldn’t have wasted so much time missing you.”
Adam’s expression softened then and became rather thoughtful as he collected himself from his small outburst of laughter and simply watched Ronan quietly, studying each detail that made up the other man’s expression, noting his laugh lines and the scar he had over his left eyebrow, a mark left by one of the nightmares the dreamer had accidentally brought back to reality with him one night a year or two ago. He acknowledged how handsome of a man Ronan really was and was sure other people saw it too.
Sometimes Adam didn’t know how he could feel so at home with someone by his side like he knew Ronan would be for years and years to come, it never having been easy for the mage to let himself get too attached to anybody, let alone grow to depend on them, but he did with Ronan, and it was the best feeling in the entire world.
“You missed me? I haven’t even been gone that long, Ro, I won’t even be back in Henrietta for another three weeks.”
Ronan Lynch was pouting. Pouting and rolling over onto his back so that he could now have a turn at staring up at the god awful popcorn ceiling, crossing his arms over his chest. “Yeah, well...I don’t see why you have to take a special class to look at a bunch of stupid statues when I can just take you in the BMW myself.”
He was being cute and Adam tried his best not to allow himself to be distracted by it. He had explained to Ronan over and over again why they couldn’t just take the trip together, by themselves, alone, and why he couldn’t just skip it since it was such a big part of his final grade. Still, Ronan was pouting because he missed Adam and that was enough to make Parrish feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. The truth was, he missed Ronan too.
“How are Opal and Chainsaw doing?”
“Last I saw them Opal was eating a bunch of grass and Chainsaw was watching her do it,” Ronan replied, seeming much less pouty now, though he still didn’t tear his gaze away from the ceiling and turn back to face Adam. “We’re at The Barns.”
Adam just nodded as he listened to Ronan, again finding himself distracted by the fact that the other man could be so close to him now that he could see his chest rise and fall with each breath, yet still be so far away. Moments like these made Adam appreciate how unconventional their lives were. If they were anybody else, any other couple, they wouldn’t be able to have nights like these where each of them went to sleep that night missing one another just to then end up in the same dream, together, like they had never been apart. Being the mage and the Greywaren caused each of them a long list of troubles, but if lonely nights like these were what they got in exchange for the dangers and uncertainties that found them, then Adam wouldn’t trade it for the world, the sun, or the stars.
“What’s wrong,” Ronan questioned gently, finally rolling back over onto his side to be able to face Adam better, making sure to close the gap between the two of them as he did so with the full intention of tangling their legs together. The dream wasn’t real but it felt close enough that it’s all he needed.
Ronan reached over and pressed the palm of his right hand to Adam’s freckled cheek, watching the other boy with a careful gaze. He had noticed how quiet Adam had become, how thoughtful his expression was, and worried that something had been the matter. Ronan didn’t know how much he could help being as far away as he was in the reality of things but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t still try his damndest to make things right.
“Nothing,” Adam replied, pressing his cheek further into Ronan’s palm and smiling gently, allowing for his eyes to once again flutter closed. “I just...I really love you, Ronan.”
That was all he needed to hear. Within a matter of seconds Ronan was as close to Adam as he could possibly get, pressing their lips together in a small, yet passionate embrace. Their legs were now mixed together in a tangled mess of limbs as Adam had been pulled right up against the taller man’s chest, his head now using Ronan’s left arm as a pillow. They kissed once, and then twice, and then a third time before pulling away, Adam’s cheeks painted pink from embarrassment. The two had kissed many times before Parrish left on his ridiculous school trip but somehow the ones they’d just shared felt different...felt indescribable. The two longed for one another and craved each other’s touch. If this is how they felt after two weeks there was no saying how desperate they would both be by the end of the month.
Ronan broke the silence between them by pressing his forehead against Adam’s gently and closing his eyes as well, releasing a small, soft, content sigh. “I love you, too, Parrish. Get some sleep.”
Without any warning at all Ronan was ripped from his dream by the high pitched sounds of a little girl screaming. He sat straight up from where he had been laying, the grass under him pressed flat from his weight and the sky that had been so bright with colors when he fell asleep now as black as nothingness, his eyes were wide and searching. Where was she? Another crash of thunder sounded over head and Opal screamed once more, though from where Ronan couldn’t see. She had wandered while he slept, Chainsaw too small to effectively keep her close like Ronan had told her to be. Thunder above crashed once more and this time brought a heavy downpour of rain with it, causing Ronan to curse under his breath as he stood up and began his search on foot.
“Kerah,” Opal screamed, panic and the sound that she had been crying evident in her voice, fear of the darkness quickly overtaking the little girl, “Kerah!”
Ronan’s heart was pounding in his chest, surely she couldn’t have gotten too far away from him but then there was no telling just how long he had been asleep. He made his way quickly down a hill he had seen Opal express interested in on one of their different outings into the fields and was relieved to see her small body wobbling this way and that as she tried to regain her barings, the storm’s violent winds pushing her thin body unevenly side to side, and head back up where she had left Ronan sleeping. “Opal, get your ass over here!”
The dream girl heard his voice instantly, her gaze meeting his like she had known where he stood the entire time. She began to cry harder now, running at Ronan at a speed he had never seen her move before. It was almost amusing what fear and adrenaline could do for people.
Roana met Opal a little more than halfway down the hill, pulling the hooved girl’s small torso against his chest as he crouched down beside her, looking her over to make sure she was just drenched from the rain and not actually injured. “What did I tell you about wandering off? Where’s Chainsaw?”
A small caw came from inside Opal’s dress, and then another, and another until a small crow’s head popped out from the neckline, revealing Chainsaw peeking out at Ronan, seeming quite comfortable. She was fine. They were both fine.
“I didn’t want her to get wet, I’m sorry Kerah, I’m so sorry I didn’t listen,” Opal cried, now hugging tightly to Ronan’s neck, “I want to go home.”
Thunder crashed above once more and lightning flashed throughout the night sky, illuminating their surroundings. They were much too far from The Barns to walk back in this weather. Ronan wondered briefly what the chances of him being about to dream them a couple umbrellas real quick would be like. He decided against asking Opal as a joke, figuring the idea of him leaving her alone again would only terrify her more. Instead he stood back up on his feet, lifting Opal into his arms, resting her weight on his hip, and began moving back up the hill. About a mile or so away from the trio had originally stopped their walk throughout the fields stood a little brown shack Ronan was happy to have committed to memory, a building constructed by Niall Lynch incase of situations such as these. That was were they would take refuge from the storm.
Inside the shack it was evident that it had never been used, dust laying across everything, leaves from nearby trees having found their way through cracked, busted windows. The roof had apparently also needed some work as rain still managed to drip in here and there through cracks in the ceiling. It wasn’t the best but it was better than being outside.
“Sit by the fireplace,” Ronan instructed Opal to do as he began roaming around the room, gathering anything that looked as though it could be set on fire. It didn’t take him long to come join her, handing Opal a few books he had found so that she could help start tearing pages out of them. Adam would hate watching this, which just made Ronan want to do it more.
Once they had a decent pile of papers torn out from the books Ronan threw them and a few legs off an old wooden chair he had broken into the fireplace, pulling a lighter from his pocket and set the combination ablaze. The fire started out small at first but within a matter of seconds it began burning properly, its warmth filling the room slowly. Opal moved her slender body closer to Ronan’s side and rest her head against his shoulder. She was no longer crying, not as afraid of the storm now as she had been when she was alone, but she was shivering. Ronan thought that they would both be very lucky to not catch a cold after tonight, and he hoped for Opal’s sake that they wouldn’t.
“We’ll stay here until the storm passes and head back to the house once it’s gone,” he informed the dream girl, wrapping his arm around her as means to help warm her as he spoke, “I won’t go to sleep and leave you alone again, so you should get some rest while you can.”
“Are you sure, Kerah,” Opal questioned, looking up at Ronan with big doey eyes, “If you don’t get to sleep it’s not fair of me to…”
Ronan released a long sigh, shaking his head as he met Opal’s gaze, trying his best not to seem irritated with her despite his frustrations regarding her wandering off while he had been dreaming earlier that evening. “I already had a nap, remember? Go to sleep.”
Opal just nodded in response as she moved herself a little closer against Ronan’s chest, humming comfortably as warmth began to settle her shivers and the fire began to dry her clothes. She closed her eyes and before long she was unconscious, far away and safe in her own dreams.
The warmth of the fire helped Ronan relax too, and reminded him very much of the warmth Adam’s body brought with it when they had laid so close and entangled together kissing. He could still feel the other man on his lips, and without realizing it brought his fingers up to touch them. Ronan hoped that his sudden tear from their dream didn’t cause Adam to have any nightmares, he hoped that Adam was having a good time on his trip despite all of his whining, and he hoped that Adam would hurry the hell home after these next three weeks were up. Their shared dream had helped the Greywarren feel less lonely at the time and had filled his chest with all sorts of warmth and happiness that he normally felt when he looked Adam in the eye, like fireworks going off during the Fourth of July, but now that it was over Ronan couldn’t help but feel like there was a hole had been ripped where his heart was supposed to go. He missed Adam Parrish more than he ever thought he could miss anyone besides his mother and father and it was because of this that Ronan decided that for now on when they were apart they would share their dreams, that way neither of them would ever have to go to sleep alone at night. Hell, maybe if Ronan tried hard enough he’d even be able to cut Adam’s trips short and bring him back into reality with him. The thought brought a smile onto the Greywarren’s face.
Being careful not to jostle Opal too much Ronan reached into his pocket and pulled his cellphone out into the palm of his hand, pressing down the corresponding numbers necessary for his password before opening his inbox and selecting the most recent conversation:
TO: Parrish
“Sorry about the dream, Opal was causing trouble. I love you Adam, see you tomorrow night.”
Ronan waited until the message read ‘sent’ before placing his phone on the ground beside himself and allowing the warmth of the fire to lull his eyelids shut. He would keep his promise to Opal and remain awake for the both of them, but as the storm continued to rage on overhead he allowed himself to fill his thoughts of nothing and no one else besides Adam Parrish.
allowed himself to fill his thoughts of nothing and no one else besides Adam Parrish.