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There was a strangely pleasant dynamic between Inasa and his best friend. He would follow her around and talk, and she would listen. She was one of the few who didn’t mind his long tangents, venting and rants, taking it all in carefully and making sure to remember it for later.
It was safe to say she knew nearly everything about him, and he knew a good deal of things about her. They were fine with that. He was fine with that. Because she was who she was; because she was just that type of person, the type that he’d truly grown attached to.
She barely spoke to others beside himself, and he felt a little honored that it was him out of all people. Especially when others always assumed he had loose lips and would reveal personal secrets. But he never did when it came to ones that were definitely important, he never did when it came to hers.
No matter what, he wouldn’t tell anyone anything about her that he knew she wanted to keep to herself. He trusted her to do the same for him. But there was always something that bothered him.
Whenever she was upset, she would never tell him why. The most he could get out of her was “I’ll get over it soon, I’m fine.” Even when she was quite clearly not fine. Inasa would always frown, his signature grin dissipating within - a generous estimation of - seconds. No matter how much she told him that she was fine and insisted he didn’t need to worry about her, there isn’t really any use in trying to convince a large brick wall to move.
Inasa had this nagging guilt in the back of his mind, knowing he only ever noticed the aftermath, the aftereffects, and not when it was happening. His fists would clench at the thought, a frown actually making its way onto his face. It always unnerved everyone around him, so used to seeing a sunshine smile there instead. He began to pay more attention to her, all the small details he may have somehow managed to miss despite how much he was with her all the time.
And he found many more than he had expected. So many more he began to feel even worse than before, the knife of guilt twisting in his chest.
How she always had her sleeves rolled all the way for the next few days after he’d tried to talk to her due to her avoiding him. How she would rest her arms on her desk, palms facing up. How she would go to the bathroom more often. How she would stop eating before she even began, in favor of just listening to him. How the bags under her eyes grew larger with each day.
How she winced whenever she turned her head, blinking more and keeping them closed a bit longer.
How she nearly collapsed whenever she stood up from her desk.
Inasa had never thought much of it at first, assuming it was low blood pressure than ran in the family, but after putting two and two together, realizing she neglected eating every single day, he started to think otherwise. The way she almost fell asleep every class, the way that she would run her thumb over her wrist on the days they weren’t covered, the way she’d poke it with her pen.
The way she made a cutting motion so nonchalantly with any newly sharpened pencil.
The way she tried to cover those slowly increasing dot-like scars along the outside of her wrists.
Days felt so much longer as her absences began to increase and his concern began to grow in size. Everyone noticed, of course. He didn’t smile as much. He was lost in thought more. He was clearly anxious, he was clearly worried. What if she’d done something so bad she couldn’t back away from? Something she couldn’t heal?
...
...what if she’d killed herself?
That thought alone made his entire body freeze up, the image of her lifeless body on the floor something he couldn’t get out of his mind. What if, what if, what if? He became deathly silent within another week of her on-and-off attendance, never saying anything to anyone, avoiding social interaction.
But she didn’t seem to notice, despite how close they were. That hurt him a little, but he knew he wasn’t the one who was in danger here. Was she okay? He really hoped she was okay, he really really did.
His finger hovered over the “call” button on his phone as he sat in his room, expression twitching between a forced calm and his true feelings of uncertainty. Inasa hated it.
Hated how despite striving to be a hero, he couldn’t help save one girl. His friend. His best friend. And admittedly the one he’d been smitten with for a while. An uncharacteristically strangled cry of frustration left him as he punched himself, ignoring the blood dripping from his nose, his hand shaking before he took a deep breath and slowly pressed the little gray key, letters in an ironically serene shade of emerald.
Inasa waited as the sound of ringing seemed to be the only thing in the world besides himself and his worries. He gulped after a few seconds, heart hammering in his chest upon a realization that he wanted to be false but was confronted with moments later.
“I’m sorry, this number is not available at the moment. Please call back later or press 1 to leave a message.”
Shit.
She never ignored or denied his calls. Something had to be seriously wrong. In a sense of panic he’d never felt before, he stuffed his phone in his pocket before opening his window and vaulting himself into the air towards her home. Fuck the law and their forbidding Quirks be used, he had to check on someone way too important to him to let enter a worse state than they were already in. He saw the familiar face of the building fast approaching him. He slowed, landing on her windowsill and opening it.
And his eyes blew wide, falling completely still as his mind came to a screeching stop. Then those haunting words returned, echoing in his mind no matter how much he tried to shoo it out.
.
.
.
.
what if she’d tried to kill herself?
.
.
.
.
.
Inasa had never felt so overwhelmed before, he’d never felt fear this genuine. He’d only ever liked things, he’d only ever seen the bright side of things. But what light was there when you see a girl you’ve known for so long, a girl you’ve grown to love lying on the ground, arms covered in stained band-aids and damp paper towels, crying with forced down sobs, scolding themselves for just being human?
She hadn’t even noticed him come in, he realized. She had always been so observant, this felt so off. It was like he was looking at someone completely different. Who was this person? Was this the best friend he knew? The one he’d known for so many years?
Inasa ended his doubts as fast as he could, hearing another suppressed whine in favor of running over to her, kneeling and embracing her in one swift movement. She squeaked softly at this, tensing and wincing when her injuries rubbed harshly against the endless adhesive bandages she’d been hoarding in her room. A gasp of pain left her and he hesitated, but refused to let go.
“…I…nasa?” her voice was so full of fear and shame, self-disappointment and guilt that he felt his chest ache. He grit his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut as he just held her.
“Is this what you’ve been doing for the past weeks?” he asked, his words leaving him so many times weaker than he thought it would be. “Doing…this? All of this?”
“What’re you doing here? It’s late…” she murmured, voice hoarse from crying and trying so hard to remain silent. His shoulders raised a little, holding her a little tighter. She didn’t wince this time, trying not to give him more things to worry about.
“Don’t try and change the subject,” he said sternly, hearing her uneven breaths only worsen with each of her obvious attempts to calm them. She tried to form words, feeble sounds of attempted sentences leaving her lips before she sobbed again, leaning her head on his shoulder. Inasa didn’t stop her.
She tried so hard, so hard to keep it all in, just so he wouldn’t feel worse, so he didn’t have to waste his time on her.
He knew.
He knew her well enough to know what was going on in her head.
But he didn’t before.
His frown deepened, rage bubbling in his chest, all aimed at himself. Why didn’t he see any of this sooner? Why? Why did he have to be so dense in all the moments it really mattered?
“Yes…” her response came weakly, so forced, a lump in her throat. “I…this is what I’ve been doing…”
He dug his nose into the crook of her neck, the only place he didn’t see any bandages on exposed skin. She smelled faintly of blood and antibiotic cream, of wet towels and tears.
Inasa said nothing. He didn’t say a word, knowing that his optimism would try and rear its head, which was so hideous only in moments like these. When she didn’t want wishful thoughts, when she just wanted anyone, anything to just be there.
“Inasa, really this time…why are you here? It’s midnight,” her voice still shook but it seemed she had calmed a little. But he didn’t release her.
“…I can’t be a hero if I can’t save my best friend. I can’t be a best friend if I can’t even offer a hand,” he managed. “I’m going to save you every time, no matter what you say.”
A moment passed before a dry chuckle left her, a bit forced because of the tears streaking down her face. “You’re amazing…you know that? You’re such a good person, you’ve got so many things going for you, you’re going to go places. And yet you waste all that time on me. You’re supposed to be the hopeful one, the one who will attain his dreams because he’s just like that.”
Inasa was silent for a few seconds before he pulled away just enough so he could see her face, seeing the moonlight from the window reflecting on her eyes. Her lips pursed, seeing his expression and reaching an injured hand up to place it on his cheek. It was trembling, trying so hard to stay up rather than fall like it truly wanted to, just to rest from all the abuse it had suffered.
“Don’t make that fa - ”
“Then what does that make you?” he cut her off, gaze only intensifying. She looked at a slight loss of words, staring at him with increasing confusion. “If I’m a boy destined for greatness, what does that make you?”
“A background character at best.”
He hated so much how easily she said that. As if it didn’t matter. Which it probably didn’t - to her at least.
“…no, if I get to be the hero, you’re going to be there with me,” he stated, insistence sounding like that of a child. She just laughed at him, making him blink, puzzled.
“Inasa, have I ever been as good as you in heroics?” He thinned his lips into a line, both knowing the answer to that question. This wasn’t a time to lie to get her to feel better. She’d know. “Exactly.”
“That’s not what I meant,” he frowned and she tilted her head. “I meant hero as in heroine, main character. You promised we’d be heroes together. And if you don’t want to be a hero, who’s gonna be there instead? It’s gonna be real lonely without you.”
“…who are you and what did you do to my best friend?” she joked lightly and that managed to get a snigger out of him. “The Inasa I know is never this serious. Lighten up, I…feel a bit better now.”
His eyes lit up and a bright grin graced him. “Ah! Good! I was really worried you might do something really really bad! Oh - as in more than what you’ve already done.”<
The girl snorted at him, and laughed again when he instantly stilled as she began to trace shapes on his cheek with her fingers. His cheeks stained a light pink and a smile tugged at her lips. Inasa’d stopped breathing, eyes so wide as they bored into her, confused and suddenly nervous.
“You’re really cute sometimes, you know that?” she admitted, hand settling on his jaw. “I honestly wonder what I ever did to get someone like you to care about me so much.”<
Well. He certainly hadn't expected something like that to come so suddenly.
“I - er - ” Inasa stammered lamely, before hearing her laugh again. This time, though, it was genuine. It was happy. It was bright.<
He’d missed that sound.
“Adorable,” she joked, pressing her lips against his briefly, and his entire face exploded into red. She lingered for a moment, pulling away for a moment to assess his reaction, but he’d already pulled her in for another, a hand on her neck and one arm around her waist as she adjusted herself a little, her other hand resting on the back of his head.
Fuck, he’d been waiting way too long for this. But this kiss was slower than the previous. This one was just like they’d been for as long as he could remember; in sync. They knew each other too well for that to go wrong, they knew each other too well for anything like that.
A short moment was spent apart, before you began to giggle softly before it grew into a loud laughter, soon followed by his own, only to be quickly hushed as she remembered her family still lived in the same home.
“…you could be with anyone else, and yet you choose me,” she murmured, leaning into him and he just sat there, holding her. He was warm, she noted. Strong enough to hold the world on his shoulders.
“Well I like a lot of things,” Inasa shrugged a little, resting his cheek on her head. “But there are a few things I like more than others.”
She chortled again. No one else had ever heard her so openly happy, no one but him. And for that he was proud.
“…there aren’t a whole lot of things I like, but there are a few that I hold high above everything else,” she replied and he couldn’t really hold back the grin growing on his face. Again, the two of them laughed softly, all their troubles forgotten, even if just for a short while.
It was just her, him, and their little moment of joyful solace.