Chapter Text
Solas couldn’t understand. Nanehn stood before him, breathing, watching, but dead, as far as he was concerned.
His hand reached out to cup her jaw. Tears blurred his vision until he could no longer see the starburst pattern on her forehead. When he spoke, his voice cracked, even just above a whisper, "Avy ama as i'em…" An echo of the song he sang to her, of the promise he’d made.
Something almost like recognition floats into her eyes. She speaks- monotone, dispassionate, the words are an echo of before, “Where would you take me?”
The knife in his hand is heavy, but the blade is sharp.
Solas presses his forehead to hers, eyes closed, “I will take you with me.”
*
He was weak.
Despite all of his knowledge and experience, Solas was weak.
The road back to Haven was quiet as everyone took in what had just happened- the possessed Lord Seeker, the red lyrium, the horrors of the Templar’s dungeons, but none were as quiet as the woman riding in front of Solas, sharing his mount. Neither had spoken since his last words to her- him out of shame for his inability to act, and her out of an inability to react to the change in situation. She simply accepted what he’d said at face value instead of the metaphorical way he’d meant it.
That was one of the many disadvantages of being Tranquil.
He couldn’t help it. Every few minutes he would let his magic brush over her, probing, testing, searching for even the barest spark of life from within. Yes, she was alive, in the most basic sense, but the magic, the spark that had made Nanehn so amazing and beautiful…. Was gone. Snuffed out by Templars so afraid of their charges that they’d rather lobotomize them than protect them.
There were many decisions in his life that he regretted, but right now his deception with the Herald and the encouragement he’d made to go to the Templars was the brightest in his mind. These people were disgusting. A group forged out of the need to help protect and guide young mages, and they turned on their charges the instant their reigns were loosened. Solas had encouraged the Herald to seek out the aid of the Templars, all so that he could rescue the beautiful Dreamer. Too late. He was too late. It was all for nothing.
Tranquility.
This was no solution. It was torture. Sadistic.
Solas could feel her sitting before him- her back pressed to his chest, his arms on either side of her to hold the reins of the horse. She was warm, solid, a real thing outside of the Fade- but less real than when he’d only known her in Dreaming.
And he was too weak to do what needed to be done, and end her suffering cleanly.
Finally, he spoke, his breath a cold whisper on a colder breeze, “I will find a solution, Ehn’ma. A cure, from knowledge or courage, but I will find it.”
*
Solas had been careful, from the beginning, not to mention Nanehn or his real reason for wanting to go to Therinfal Redoubt. When he’d brought her from the cells, no one questioned him- she was an elf, and while Tranquil now, was at least a mage at one point- it seemed to make sense to them that Solas would want her taken out of these ruins and brought to Haven’s growing population of castoffs. While he’d allowed her to be roomed with the other Tranquil, he would not allow the Templars to guard those rooms.
The Herald was confused, “They are used to the Templars, Solas, and they no longer fear them.”
It took a lot to keep his face schooled with only mild annoyance and rebuke, instead of the boiling rage that was inside, “I am well aware of the Templars’ roles in these mage’s lives, Herald. In fact, as I understand it, the Rite of Tranquility is carried out on order of the Templars and by the Templars. While the Tranquil may no longer feel fear, that does not mean the Templars will treat them with anything beyond the contempt they already showed before the Rite.” Alright, that might not have been the calm response he was going for, but the way the Tranquil were treated was horrendous! How could everyone just brush it off, much less think that continuing to have the abusers ‘guarding’ the victims was a good idea?
Still, the Herald folded and Solas managed to get the Templars away from the vulnerable Tranquil- and more importantly, away from Nanehn.
*
With the Breach closed and the Templar’s aide no longer needed, Solas felt like he might just have the chance to research Tranquility and possible ways of reversing it. For the first time in weeks, he smiled at the celebration going on around him, chatting happily with the Herald as they made their way back to Haven. First, he would have to fill out reports on the Breach, but then he planned to go to Nanehn and tell her that, with the Breach closed, he could dedicate most of his time to finding her cure.
He had a theory that curing Tranquility might even be linked to the Veil itself… Without the Veil’s presence, there would be no way to cut someone off from the Fade.
He never got to tell Nanehn, though.
By the time they finished filling out the reports, Haven was under attack.
Even as he leapt to the town’s defense, his thoughts were on Nanehn.