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“Are you going to be alright with being in the bunker with Cas?” Dean asked.
“I think I can manage a couple of hours,” I said jokingly while looking over Dean’s shoulder towards Cas. He was looking through the telescope in the bunker. The telescope does not show anything to humans but with his angelic grace, he should be able to see the stars. I shifted my gaze back at Dean’s frazzled face and darting eyes. I kissed his cheek and muttered, “Be safe. Come back in one piece and protect yourself.” He hugged me and then sassed, “Yes, mom. I will.” I smiled and walked over to Sam.
“Do your homework and be nice to Cas,” said Sam.
“No yo siempre?” smiled with a wink.
“Y no hablas con el Rey de infierno!” He said strictly.
“Would you two stop talking in Spanish!” yelled Dean seemingly annoyed as he dragged Sam out the door. I smiled and turned to face Cas.
“How does one build a telescope that works but is not able to see the sky?” Cas pondered out loud.
“The men of letters created it so angels see the stars and demons see the planets and moons,” I replied while sitting down on the couch. Cas sat with me and we turned to face each other.
“When was the last time you were in Hell?” he asked me with his eyes narrowed.
“This morning. Why? Do you know anyone, besides Crowley, that lives there?” I replied.
“You have demon particles floating around you but your soul hasn’t been altered. Yeah, my girlfriend is down there. Or at least I think she still is,” he trailed off.
“Still in hell? Or still your girlfriend?” I inquired, biting my lip.
“Both,” he replied absent-mindedly.
“Tell me about her. I might know her.”
“Alright. I met her when she had brown hair, slightly lighter than your shade, but hers was long and wavy. She always wore a layered, tie-dye purple shirt under a thin black leather jacket. She always wore this necklace that has this one charm that is the same shade of red as her lipstick. And she was always so fierce, flirty, and feisty, even after she was tortured for a year. She was never the same after that. Her hair was blonde and stained with her own blood. She seemed more fragile and skittish. She still wore the necklace though. I don’t think she ever took it off. She would only call me ‘Clarence,’ but I never knew who that was.”
“Do you want to know who Clarence was?” I asked him as he sat in silence. He nodded so I walked over to the collection of VCRs and DVDs and I pulled out ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ He watched as I set up the TV and sat back down next to him. I pulled a blanket on top of us as we settled in.
“I don’t know if the movie has an accurate representation of Heaven, but it represents what Meg was telling you so just give it a chance,” I said softly as I leaned into him. It was reassurance, to me, that he did not zap off and reassurance to him that I was there for him and I wanted to help him get his girlfriend back. As the movie went on, I explained what was happening, when he was confused, but we kept quiet most of the time. As the credits rolled, I looked up at him and saw tears streaming down his face but he was smiling.
“Now do you know why she was calling you Clarence?” I asked him.
“I was her reason for living,” he muttered, looking down. “I gave her something that no one else had; I gave her a place to belong. But I let her get tortured for a year. And then she died when I should have been there to protect her.”
“What if there was a way to bring her back? You said you think she is still in Hell so I might be able to find her and get her out. It might take some time but I will try if you want me to,” I offered. He looked up at me with his eyes full of hope.
“Could you do it without being killed?” he asked hopefully.
“Could she do what without being killed?” Sam and Dean asked in sync.
“Could I challenge you to a death fight and not be killed within the first five minutes,” I replied, to Dean, before Cas could answer.
“And could you?” he asked.
“Of course,” I said smiling, glancing at Cas. I walked over to hug him and whisper into his ear, “Don’t worry, Cas. I will get her out soon.”
“See you soon Victoria. I hope you have a pleasant night and I can't wait to see you again,” he replied softly into my hair. I stood back and watched him disappear.
“What movie did you watch?” asked Sam, nodding at the TV.
“It’s a Wonderful Life and he enjoyed it,” I said, folding the blanket. I had to get her out of there soon so Cas would have something to look forward to. I felt so bad for him, how could he think that he is the reason that she is in hell?
“Sweets?” I heard Dean say so my head snapped up.
“Hmm?” I replied.
“You zoned out. I wanted to tell you that I am going to bed and to not stay up too late,” he said while kissing my forehead lightly. I smiled softly and laid the blanket on the top of the couch.
“Good night Dean. And don’t forget the tests tomorrow,” I reminded gently. Sam sat down on the couch and gestured for me to sit next to him. I sat, hugging my knees to my chest, facing him.
“Why are you worried, Sam?” I whispered.
“What is on your mind? You seem different,” he replied while leaning forward to push a strand of hair behind my ears.
“Just thinking about Clarence and George. I have always wondered who my Clarence would be. Or if I even had one.”
“You don’t have one,” he said instantly. “You are too strong to need a Clarence. Even at your weakest moments, you are capable of holding onto all hope and life that is within you. We just give up, stop fighting.”
“Thanks, Sam, but you haven’t seen me at my worst. I haven’t seen me at my worst and I almost did awful things,”
“But you held off. Not many people would even think about not doing those things,” he retorted.
“Well, there isn’t much of a difference between being strong enough to prevent yourself from doing something dangerous and being too weak to do something that you know that you should.”
“Hon, let's get you to bed and I promise to help you through everything. Being weak and being strong are the same thing but with different viewpoints,” Sam reminded, helping me up. I followed him into his room and climbed under the covers with him. I curled into his chest as much as possible and tried to take comfort in the warmth that he was letting off.
“Goodnight, Sam,” I mumbled into his chest.
“Goodnight, Tori,” Sam responded as I closed my eyes.