Chapter Text
everyone is born with a curse the same way everyone is born with a gift. be it an artist with paranoia, a public speaker with anxiety, a car salesman who is too passive, the list goes on. for seungwan she is a struggling singer who has never experienced love, only infatuation.
love is something that everyone in her circle has experienced except her. the foreign feeling was something she yearned for in her years of adolescence, eyes always spotting the intertwined fingers, shy kisses in hopes of no one noticing, blushes that crept up the necks of a new couple. she had her crushes every now and then but never initiated anything. once she entered university was when she had her first encounter with infatuation.
her first “lover” was kind. he never rushed things, he was one of the few partners that was interested in her aside from her body. when they had sex for the first time, their bodies had fit together like they were meant for eachother. after that, the spark between them faded. they broke up and continued with their lives, never interacting with one another again. this cycle continued with multiple partners all throughout university. the moment the infatuation passed, her feelings faded to numb and she viewed them nothing more than a face in the crowd.
now twenty-two and still in the cycle, she dips her head lower between the legs of a girl who she’s known for less than an hour. the girl’s fingers weave themselves through her hair as her tongue familiarizes itself. moans fill the room, muted sounds of music downstairs is heard from outside. red, orange and yellow light dyes the room from the few lava lamps opposite of the two girls, ‘is it 1972?’ seungwan eyes the room before redirecting her attention back to pleasuring the girl in front of her. not even ten minutes later and the deed is done. neither one of them say a word as they lazily haul their clothes on to their bodies. her hand is grabbed just as she opens the door and the muffled music from outside floods the room.
“do you want to do this again?” the girl asks, she looks desperate.
“sure.” seungwan says out of pity. they exchange numbers, seungwan gives her one her previous partners’ number because she has no interest in the other anymore and makes her way back to the party held downstairs.
“seungwan where were you?” sooyoung, an aspiring youtuber shoves her camera in front seungwan’s face. she smiles and lets out a boisterous laugh. someone hands her a solo cup full of some deep blue liquid.
“gettin’ laid!” she cheers before chugging the entire cup in one go, rewarded with bursts of laughter and shouts. the rest of the night is spent consuming drinks and being in the spotlight of sooyoung’s camera.
when she awakens vodka is the only she can smell, mainly because there a bottle of vodka half empty set right under her nose. she’s sandwiched between jaebum and wheein on a loveseat so worn out that it can barely support one person. carefully she makes sure not to wake the two up as she successfully peels herself off them. on the way out she grabs sooyoung and sooyoung’s camera. they make their way out of the house stumbling over bodies littered all over the place.
the sun is high and the sky is blue but the weather is cold. seungwan drapes her coat around soonyoung who’s sporting a thin, red dress and black kitten heels. it doesn’t help her much but it’s better than nothing.
“can you film the outro, please?” sooyoung slurs, she is definitely still drunk. seungwan complies and presses the record button.
“hey guys! seungwan here, sooyoung’s still pretty drunk and can’t form proper sentences at the moment so i’m filming the outro. shoutout of the week goes to chan! thanks man! anyway see you guys next time!” she hits record button again.
“who the fuck is chan?”
“sooyoung, half the population is named chan, at least one of your subscribers has that name.”
sooyoung just nods. the two walk back to their dorm and find joohyun waiting for them in the middle of the entrance.
“where were you?”
“a party. did you not see our snapchat stories?”
“of course not! she barely knows how to post a photo on instagram!” sooyoung belows before seungwan places a hand over her mouth, muted protests escape before she fully mutes herself.
“still drunk?” joohyun questions,
“still drunk.” seungwan answers.
sooyoung is placed on the couch. pulling seungwan’s jacket over her head, she curls into a ball and joohyun throws a blanket over her.
“you work today?”
“no, i knew i was going to get wasted so i put it down as a day off.” joohyun nods.
“want some pizza?”
“for breakfast?”
“it’s good hangover food.”
“do we have chicken noodle?”
“yes.”
“i’d much rather that.” she lies next to soonyoung who is not willing to share any of the blanket. she hears the cupboard open, then the can being opened, the microwave being opened and then the beeping of the microwave buttons and the low hum of the soup being heated up. joohyun sets herself next to seungwan on the tiny space left on the couch. a small smile plays upon her face as she feels hands brush hair out of her face.
“thanks joohyun. you’re amazing.”
“thank you.”
“no. thank you.”
silence engulfs the three as they savour this quiet moment before the three beeps from the microwave are heard a couple minutes later. joohyun places the soup on the coffee table under a tray before turning the tv in front of them on. seungwan ties her hair up into a bun and begins spooning the soup into her mouth.
“damn. you guys did a bunch last night.”. shrieks and laughters emits from joohyun’s phone. “anything aside from drinking and wrecking whoever’s house happen?”
“seungwan got laid~.” sooyoung’s voice although muffled by two layers of fabric, is still loud enough to make seungwan grimace. joohyun’s expression falls and disappointment washes over it.
“again?”
“yes and it’s okay, i did all the work.”
“this is like fourth time this week. how have you not gotten an std yet?”
“it’s a christmas miracle.”
“it’s february.”
“exactly.”
the sounds from the tv fill the room as seungwan eats, sooyoung sleeps and joohyun tries to focus on what is being said.
seungwan walks into work the next day and greets everyone happily. with her hangover completely gone, she is ready to start the day fresh. an eight hour shift is hell for anyone but she knows it will be better to push through the day with a positive attitude. she is able to stick to her plan until the final hour of her shift. nayoung seemed extremely out of it throughout her whole shift so seungwan sent her home so she could get a proper amount of sleep. the hour passes smoothly. fifteen minutes before closing, someone walks in. seungwan’s seen her around campus, she looks like she’s on the verge of tears.
“can i get a small mocha please.” she hiccups, seungwan wastes no time in preparing the drink for the girl. once handed to her, the girl sits in the very corner of the store, covers her eyes with her hair and hands and begins balling. seungwan can tell she’s trying so hard to not make it noticable but she’s failing miserably.
five minutes before closing and the girl’s still crying. seungwan decides to go talk to her. she shuts off the lights in the front and turns the ‘open’ sign off before making her way towards the girl with a handful of napkins.
“hey.”
the girl startles, she looks up at seungwan.
'disgusting.’ is the only thing that comes to mind when she meets the face of the girl. her entire face is wet. she can’t differentiate the tears to the snot to the drool. her cheeks are patchy pink, making it look like her blood vessels have ruptured and there is a thin layer of sweat on her hairline. this girl is a complete mess. seungwan pushes the thoughts away and sits across from the girl, handing her the napkins.
“mind telling me what happened?”
“i caught my girlfriend cheating on me. in my bed.”
“oh shit.” the words leave her mouth before she can stop them, “sorry.”
the girl shakes her head, telling her it’s fine. she takes a deep breath in and the splurge begins. she caught her girlfriend of about eight months cheating on her with a guy in her bed. even though college was a place of experimentation she still viewed that loyalty in relationships was a basic ground rule. her girlfriend was fully aware that many of seulgi’s relationships ended either with a broken heart or her partner had cheated. and when she caught them, they didn’t even leave. her girlfriend told her to come back in an hour, so seulgi obeyed and now she’s here crying horrendously into some napkins and telling her life’s story to a waitress who she’s known for less than ten minutes and never going to find love.
“damn.” is all seungwan is able to say after, “i’m so sorry to hear that. i’m seungwan by the way, so you can at least know my name.”
“seulgi.” she blows her nose loudly and seungwan tries her very best not to make a face.
“listen, all the past relationships are just leading you to the right one. do not think that you won’t ever be able to find love, everyone does so don’t be so harsh on yourself. listen come in tomorrow after noon and i’ll make you the best breakup meal you’ve ever had. on the house ‘kay?”
seulgi looks around the shop and nods slowly just as her eyes meet seungwan’s. they both share a smile before seungwan gets up.
“sorry to say but now i’ve got to close up. so you better get going.” seulgi picks up all of the napkins before disposing them into the trash.
“thank you for letting me tell you all of this.” seulgi says before leaving. seungwan smiles before pulling out her phone.
WAN : I’ve got the most fucked up sob story for you when I get home.
SOO : Kk, i’ll make the popcorn.