Chapter Text
it was in late november when jungkook confessed his feelings for yoongi.
pent up feelings being hidden for months and months, building up until he couldn’t to take it anymore.
min yoongi.
the man who made his heart race, the man who made his breathing stop, the man who could turn him into a stuttering mess from just one look.
min yoongi, the man jungkook was in in love with.
there was no denying a connection between the two. everyone could notice it, the chemistry, the tension; you could feel it whenever the two were together or even apart. the admiration jungkook had for yoongi and the care yoongi showed for jungkook— it was sweet.
min yoongi was different to others. a man devoted to his work, preferring to hide his emotions than to worry others, glaring at everyone until he had his morning coffee. but he's the same min yoongi who shows jungkook all his works, always makes an effort to smile in front of him, whose eyes would soften when he saw the younger’s sleepy state in the mornings (usually right next to him when he wakes up) even before his coffee. min yoongi who only did this to jungkook - that’s what made this situation all the more frustrating. then again this wasn’t some k-drama jeongguk found himself binging at odd hours of the morning, this was real life, and human emotion is much more complex in real life.
-
the two had even come close to an -almost-sort-of kiss before.
it happened somewhere between the winter months, jungkook was curled up on yoongi’s lap, all their friends sat around the latters' and namjoon's apartment, watching a random movie that jungkook never really payed much mind to.
they had claimed that they were just sat next to each other and the position they were in was a mere accident. however hoseok having witnessed jungkook upon arrival, look straight over at yoongi who was in his phone, walk over and casually place himself down on the elders lap, knew it was a lie. yoongi simply raised his arms and let the younger settle comfortably on top of him.
it was around halfway through the movie, the supposedly exciting part that jungkook, bores, leaned up and whispered into yoongi’s ear “this movie is confusing, yoongi-hyung”
“not my problem you didn’t pay attention to the first half”
“but hyung-” jungkook whined you were distracting me–
“shh”
jungkook glared up at yoongi, removing himself from the elders lap.
“where are you going?” jungkook simply huffed and walked away, the others too caught up and entranced by the movie to notice. well so the thought, truth is almost all of them watched the scene play out silently, sending each other knowing looks. yoongi sighed, getting up, and muttering “making me miss the damn movie, brat”
jungkook, who had made his way to yoongi’s bedroom, heard the older get up and follow him, he smiled, happy. it wasn’t his fault that the movie was boring and none of his hyungs were giving him any attention. thus began his playful mood, and yoongi was always a good target for teasing, easy to mess with and actually giving him the time of day.
“you’re insufferable” yoongi muttered, walking into the room, “what is your problem?” he stared at the boy who was currently lying in yoongi’s bed grinning mischievously, “i was bored” he said, small pout forming on his lips. the younger rolled across the plush fabric that smelt like his hyung, to face yoongi, sheets curling around his body making him look like a burrito. adorable, yoongi thought and could no longer find it in him to be “mad”. the older went over and sat with the boy on his bed, sighing, “what’d you want to do then?”
“you'll do something with me?”
“as long as you don’t say something that requires much energy–“
“how about cards?” jungkook hummed, looking around yoongi’s room for inspiration.
“cards? how old are you? i’m meant to be the old one here”
“'s why i picked it. requires barely any energy, grandpa." he joked, "no, i like cards, namjoonje-hyung taught me loads of cool games when we first met”
”why do i get called old for owning cards but joon doesn’t?”
”because namjoon-hyung is cool”
yoongi clicked his tongue, lightly tapping jungkook’s what was meant to be thigh but ended up being his butt, “you’re such a brat, i should spank you”
jungkook’s eyes widened at this, breath cut short causing him to choke slightly.
yoongi froze as he realised what he said, “i didn’t mean—“ he said sheepishly, red painting his usually pale skin.
“yeah no of course, i-i don't know why i even took it that way“ jungkook shyly tried to avoid the others gaze.
"sorry" yoongi murmured, awkwardly, hand rubbing his nape.
"don't be" jungkook tried lightening the mood, laughing it off, "i do have a nice ass" he added, smirking playfully and wiggling his eyebrows.
"and there i was thinking you were some adorable, innocent maknae" yoongi feigned as if he had been scarred for life.
"oh so I'm adorable now, hyung?"
yoongi stared at him. "well that's what the others all say, brat"
"yes but you think I'm adorable all on your own, right?" there was a hint of playfulness to his words, but his tone held some truth to question, no doubt subconsciously seeking reassurance that yoongi in fact did find him attractive too, not just the others; yoongi-hyung's opinion matters most! jungkook used to say back when he was a freshly turned fifteen year old, when they all became friends; yoongi-hyung knows a lot about things, i want to know al lot about things; his opinion had always mattered the most.
however yoongi didn't know how much the kid actually cared for his criticisms- you're fucking perfect, yoongi thought, surely the younger knew this? it was a rash decision, mind somewhat caught between realism and awe, yet his mind didn't want to cooperate, instead deciding all on its own that not enough people told jungkook he was beautiful, so he should, in a haste he blurted "you're more than that, jungkook-ah, you're beautiful, you know that, right?"
jungkook flushed. a burning pink painting every inch of his visible skin. he was joking originally, kinda, but he didn't expect that. maybe for himm to snap back a sarcastic wit accompanied by a light smack (on his arm this time) however hearing those words from yoongi’s mouth made something inside him burst. “t-thanks, hyung” he felt too warm. the two looked at each other, eyes soft and searching. jungkook's breath hitched under yoongi's intense stare.
and suddenly they were both leaning in.
until hoseok interrupted-
“hey, the guys wanna know if y– oh”
both boys jumped apart.
“oh- hi hyung! w-we were just–“
“i don’t wanna know, i’ll be in the living room” he said looking between the two, winking at yoongi as if to say go get em before leaving. yoongi scowled.
the both boys looked at each other awkwardly as the door shut, both red, before bursting into laughter.
despite their clear amusement on how they almost just fucking kissed, they were well aware of how awkward the situation was yet silently they knew that it would all be unspoken and forgotten by tomorrow morning anyway.
that was until jungkook couldn’t take it anymore. all those months with yoongi, the unnecessary touches, the not-so-secret glances, the longing gazes.
he had to confess.
the situation was strange, if jungkook had to choose one word; he invited yoongi over, saying they needed to talk. yoongi texted him a small and simple ‘omw’ and then before he knew it, yoongi was standing in front of him, eyes heavy, an expectant gaze etched onto his features.
“i-i like you” is all he could muster out.
“what?”
jungkook doesn’t recall much from that night, maybe due to how much he tried to forget it, it was too painful- it was a mistake.
“hyung– i-i” he took a breath, “i like you. i do, i really do. like, so so much. i don’t- I don’t even know if ‘like’ is the right word?... like-love there’s a very fine line at this point, but all i know is i’ve liked you for so long now i can’t recall a time in my life where i haven’t wanted to just be around you– which sounds weird and unhealthy- but you make me real fucking happy, yoongi, i can’t honestly tell you how long i’ve known that now, i just- all i want to do is be with you, i want to spend nights tangled in your arms, i want to come home to you randomly in my apartment asleep because i took too long out, i want to be cheesy and cliché, buy flowers and chocolates, go on stupid dates, and oh hyung, do you have any idea how hard it is to practically live with someone whose so fucking hot- i want you so, so bad you have no clue" he idly remember yoongi giving him a look like “are you drunk?” but for the most part, yoongi was silent, however jungkook didn’t seem to notice as he just continued to ramble.
“and oh my, it’s just– it feels so could to get it off my chest. i’ve been holding it in for months, so long— I just can’t believe i’ve finally said it, i– hyung?” jungkooks nervously rambled speech falters, the tension of the situation finally settling in and the words dying on his tongue.
nothing.
“please say something” he whispered after a minute of silence and yoongi just staring.
yoongi was startled by his words, it was as if jungkook had just awoken him up from a deep deep sleep. but in reality he was thinking, assessing the whole situation not sure of what to say or do. he didn’t want to hurt jungkook. and that was the pure reason he couldn’t do this. whatever this happened to be.
the mint haired man looked up, eyes apologetic and cautious. there was something else in those dark mysterious irises but he couldn’t identify what it was at this very moment.
“i-i have to go” is all he said before rushing out.
jungkook’s face fell, and his heart dropped.
he felt sick, felt the burn of the PH2 hydrochloric acid rising up throat as a wave of realisation washed over him.
what had he done?
-
it was mid december when yoongi realised he fucked up.
he tried for so long to convince himself that he did the right thing- that this way jungkook would get over him and then he could no longer hurt the naive boy. yoongi getting over jungkook is something that he was sure would never happen. he was older, more mature, knew what he wanted. jungkook probably had a silly crush and would soon come to his senses.
except, he didn’t want jungkook to get over him. not because he was selfish, well maybe a little when it came to jungkook, but because he couldn’t get over the younger.
“i-i like you” the words still rang in his head every so often.
i love like you too.
yoongi wished he had said it, but for the next month, everyday, he tried convince himself not saying it was for the best.
but as the days passed by, he realised how untrue that was. how much he wished he had jungkook by his side, getting excited over the pretty christmas decorations, going crazy and buying unnecessary amounts of presents, eating way too much food for what he could handle, opening goddamn advent calendars and fighting over the tiny piece of chocolate that they’d fight for but then eventually compromise and halve, jungkook calling yoongi a 'bah humbug' or a grinch to which he replies ‘brat’ or ‘muscle pig’
he only now realised how much he regretted not saying anything back,because of course he liked the kid.
the cute, innocent, dorky kid.
but in the moment when he heard those words fall from jungkooks lips; every inappropriate thought that’d wonder its way to his mind, felt wrong. every one of his longing dreams of him and jungkook together, felt unreachable. every unimportant little moment spent together, suddenly held too much meaning.
he did love him, he does.
hell, if he didn't, every touch that would linger for just a little too long, every (un)intentional glance that he just couldn’t bring himself to look away from, every deep smile of fondness he would give the boy, he wouldn’t do any of that if he didn’t.
it didn’t take a genius to see jungkook liked yoongi, he saw how every time jungkook would blush or become nervous from his words. every time the boy would come over and the two would spend countless hours taking about everything and nothing. every time yoongi would say something that wasn’t that funny but jungkook’s eyes would crinkle in the corner like they do when he laughs hard, the way his top lip would disappear to reveal those bunny teeth. the teeth he wants to feel over his pale skin, to mark him and for him to do the same to the younger, those pretty pink lips he wants to see wrapped around him– it all made him think of how much he wanted to ruin him.
the last words linger too deep; he wanted to ruin him.
and with that one thought, everything yoongi had ever doubted about them was validated. all those sleepless nights he spent up, thinking, sometimes right next to jungkook while the boy was fast asleep adjacent to him in his not-big-enough-for-two-people-bed, pressed against his side. the heat comforting and familiar. thinking about jungkooks future, his inexperienced, naive age, jungkook was starting university soon and his future was a mystery to him, yoongi was comfortable where he was in what he was doing, how would there relationship affect what jungkook wants to do? how will people, their friends, family react? yoongi felt like a barrier to jungkook’s opportunities, he had to grow and get somewhere in life. he wouldn't only take away the boy’s innocence, he would hurt him.
and yoongi couldn’t do that.
so he ran.
he ran, like a coward, only being able to bring himself to leave a text message a few days later.
yes a text message, he knows it was a shitty move. he got enough crap about it from namjoon and jin, who were made aware of the maknae's confession thanks to a way too drunk jungkook but he didn't tell them the reason why. didn't want to show the vulnerability, simply denied any feeling for the younger, which irked confusion in the two but they didn't pushing anything.
the text messages, read something along the lines of ‘i just want to be friends’.
yoongi doesn't remember, probably just as drunk, probably sulking.
but it broke jungkook's heart when he read those emotionless words on his phone screen, the boy felt his heart shrink and tears fill his eyes. taehyung and jimin, made sure they were there to comfort him, also aware. confused but not pushy; supportive.
jungkook, not only was he feeling confused and rejected, but he was so so in love it hurt.
he was just so sure yoongi returned his feelings. and so was everyone else.
but of course, he probably read the situation wrong. if he was honest, partly why he confessed was because he expected yoongi to return the feelings; he was so sure yoongi liked him- but the older was obviously just really comfortable with being jungkook's friend and jungkook's stupid mind had to go overthink shit and his stupid heart had to go over complicate everything. now he had lost his happiness, he had lost his confidence and worst of all he had lost yoongi.
however yoongi did say he wanted to be friends again, and jungkook couldn’t bare the thought of not ever seeing him so he tried, he would do anything, even if it meant pretending through the pain.
but of course they couldn’t go back to just being friends, everything was so odd, so wrong.
-
it’s was early january when they began to realise how off everything was.
after spending christmas apart, everybody going home and ignoring there problems for the holidays and after the small new years party of just namjoon, jin, yoongi, hoseok, jimin, taehyung and jungkook which was surprisingly not awkward, but that was probably down to the mass amounts of alcohol the elders supplied-
“it’s new years soon” hobi mused aloud, as if it just hit him.
the boys were currently sat in namjoon’s and yoongi’s apartment, there’s being the biggest and quite frankly nicest to celebrate in. they were always at those two's house. never the rest; always avoiding hobi's dad, jungkook's way too small apartment, taehyung's empty dorm, jimin's messy one and jin's too-nice-for-you-shit-heads-too-mess-up house.
there was grunt of reply in reply from yoongi, a hum from jungkook and a few nods of heads,
“i know, can you believe it?” jin replied.
“what's there to believe? s'just a new day”
“sure its jut a new day, but i feel accomplished with all that’s happened this year” namjoon said, stepping in, “me and yoongs are making great progress at the studio, jin and taehyung’s modelling career is really taking off, hobi’s dance studio is a hit, and that’s thanks to you too, jimin. not to mention our 95 liners are balancing uni well and our little baby maknae is starting uni this year! since sixth form when most of us met- look where we are now” every knew that was a way of saying at least we aren't failures; at least not yet.
“no!” taehyung, jimin and hoseok all wailed, rushing over to the maknae, “we don’t want him to grow up!”
the three sunshine liners attacked the poor boy in hugs. “he’s too cute”
“hey, i’ll still be cute, just i’d probably get more abs, get taller, get some piercings? grow some facial hair maybe–“
the 3 stopped attacking him, pointedly staring at him.
“he’s already ruined” hoseok gasped, jokingly but there was a hint of sadness in there- all the boys really didn’t want jungkook to grow up. he was so innocent and they wanted to protect him from the harsh world. somehow, he made them feel important; connected. like they were doing something right, something of relevance. now he was older, he would probably become like them, drinking a bit too much, not getting enough sleep; becoming addicted to one another, if he wasn't already. which if you asked him, he was.
jungkook who sensed this said “i’m kidding, i’m kidding, i promise to always be the baby maknae” and the rest of the group let out breaths they didn’t know they were holding in.
“no, but for real, have you thought about what you wanna do as a career?”
this didn’t seem like a good time to tell them he was thinking of moving away for a while, studying abroad, but when was a good time?
screw it.
“actually i–“
just then the don’t bell rang.
“can this wait?” jimin said, everyone else glancing at the door confused.
oh it can wait.
“sure” jungkook smiled. who was at the door? jungkook would marry them for saving his ass..
“cool now, does anyone have money?”
“why, who is that?” jin asked.
“we ordered pizza” jimin shrugged casually, nodding at namjoon.
jin frowned, “if you were hungry i could of just cooked something–“ he wasn’t mad but maybe borderline offended.
but before jimin could reply, namjoon stepped in saying “it’s new year’s eve, hyung, we didn’t want to make you cook, besides what better way to spend it than with friends, pizza and alcohol”
jin smiles at this, although it held more sadness; this was their lives. “i guess you’re right”
the door bell sounded again.
namjoon dismissed jimin to sit down with a wave of his hand as he went to get the door, “coming!” he yelled.
as he passed yoongi in the one seater couch he said quietly “hey, yoongi, can you lend me some money?”
yoongi remained hard faced, “why me?”
“because this is our apartment and i see the money you leave lying around everywhere”
“what kind of answer is that? doesn’t even make sense”
“please, hyung, i'll pay you back” he won't.
“fine” yoongi grumbled, pulling out a scrunched up 20 from his pocket.
namjoon accepted it from yoongi’s reluctant grip.
“cheers, i owe you” he said before rushing off to answer the door to the now understandably impatient pizza man.
“sorry, again” they heard before the door was shut and namjoon was calling jin to come help with plates. they could of eaten from the box but they had recently bought a shit ton of paper plates and cups for a party that never happened so why not use it now? hoseok and jimin then said he would help with drinks and taehyung said he would get the cups.
and before they knew it yoongi and jungkook were alone in the room, with nothing to help with. yoongi sat on a one seater couch diagonally to jungkook who was in the middle seat of the three-seater centric sofa.
jungkook kept his head down, picking at the sweater of his sweater paw and simply staring at his lap while yoongi was trying to focus on the quiet noise of the tv but couldn’t with jungkook fidgeting every two seconds, clearly uncomfortable. he understood it was awkward, but it did hurt a little. but whose fault is that?
“kook–“ the name slipped out, jungkook snapped his head up to meet yoongi’s intense gaze which he would soon regret. both boys hadn’t spoken much that night or even interacted, this was the first time taking in each other’s appearance properly.
yoongi was dressed in a black t-shirt, not too tight but just loose enough, he had fitted jeans on and a grey bomber jacket, freshly dyed black hair styled lazily and messily completing his dark attire but he still looked hot. jungkook on then other hand was wearing this huge over sized white puma sweater with his light grey, what he insisted were ‘man leggings’. brown hair fluffy and crinkled a little like he had not long gone for a run. he had in fact, before coming here, he needed to prepare himself a little after being on group call to the guys who forced him to the apartment because "it 's tradition".
nonetheless he looked adorable.
yoongi wishes he could scoop the younger up in his arms and protect him from the world, but how could he when he's the one hurting him the most.
just then the rest of the boys came back in, plates of pizza in one hand, cups filled with alcohol and some bottles in other. there eyes widened as they appeared to of realised what they'd done. ["it'll be so awkward we've barely spoken since..." "don't worry we'll make sure you guys aren't left alone"]
either they had forgot of the situation occurring over two months ago, or they did the whole thing on purpose. the tension loomed over the room until yoongi was
the one to break it.
he sighed with the shake of his head, "no, no" dismissing the situation but jungkook didn’t miss the apologetic look he shot him.
everyone shrugged it off and took their seats, hoseok was on the floor next to namjoon, jin was on the other one seater, apposed and not occupied by yoongi and jimin sat on the armrest of the couch jungkook was on.
taehyung walked over to jungkook, two plates of pizza in hand both filled with 3 fairly large slices of pizza, except one was hanging out of his mouth.
and he was pretty sure tae stole one in the kitchen, considering the two used to do it together all the time.
“here” he handed a plate to jungkook, taking his seat, “sorry we left you guys, we forgot and then when we realised we thought maybe we should leave you two alone but then realised how awkward that could be an–“
“tae, please, it’s fine”
it wasn’t fine, in all honesty he wanted to know what yoongi was gonna say, but then he thought about the apologetic look and maybe he was going to clarify his continual lack of feelings for jungkook and how he only wanted to be friends and jungkook wasn’t in the mood to make a crying mess of himself so maybe they actually saved him.
taehyung nodded as a thank you although jungkook wasn’t sure exactly why but before he could say anything tae was asking, “what happened?” he then smirked “you sure we sure we didn’t interrupt anything?”
“he said my name and then we made awkward eye contact for a few seconds”
“awkward, huh? on whose end? is that why you were practically drooling”
jungkook’s coughed slightly. he paused, faking a guilty face. “was it that obvious?”
“well no, but you’re my best friend, i can tell things like that” he assured jungkook who blushed, averting his gaze downward to his apparently very interesting lap tonight.
“hey, it’s okay, even i can appreciate how hot he looks tonight”
“and every night, but eyes off my man” jungkook playfully glared and although he knew it was a joke, he did feel a pain in his chest, not from taehyung but at the mere thought of yoongi with someone else.
“calm down, besides, i have my eyes on someone else” he glanced upwards, pink starting to paint his cheeks.
“what?” jungkook furrowed his eyebrows. “and you never told me?”
“you were going through a lot, i couldn’t bother you with my relationship troubles”
jungkook frowned. he'd been moping over yoongi rejecting him so much it led him to be barely responsive, and very unsociable, thus not talking to his friends much. that was shitty. they always been there for jungkook when he needed, but jungkook? apparently he didn't think to repay them for any of that, or return the gesture.
had this situation with yoongi affected him that much that he didn’t even think to ask his friends who had been there for him in these rough months how he was doing?
jungkook remained with a frown on his face, wishing he could apologise to all of his hyungs right now and let them know that he appreciates them a lot and that just because he's a maknae, don't let him off the hook when he's an asshole- call him up on it.
the boys all talked some more, jungkook trying to apologise to taehyung who was wasn’t having it, namjoon and yoongi talking about a recent production project at the company, jin talking about his new years resolution which was to get even more handsome and hoseok rambling about how much his students adore jimin as a TA.
time passed an passed, all sharing new years resolutions, highlights of the year, drinking more and more, all dancing– well it was more seven boys stumbling around each other, and then before anyone knew it, new years was here.
everyone was mid cheering and giving each other a hug when yoongi and jungkook realised they had hugged everyone but each other. they stood there awkwardly, unsure of how to approach this and to say jin’s outburst was a surprise was an understatement.
“oh for shit sake, we don’t know what’s happening between you two and we get it may be awkward" surely enough he was drunk. "but it’s new years! no matter what’s going on right now, you’re still friends, and you’re both alive and healthy, that you should be th-thankful for." he hiccupped continuing his rant "there- there are some people who are spending new years alone right now, others spending it at high class parties, surrounded by swarms of family and friends, like we get it, you're life is perfect you have money blah blah other’s are with the one they love" he then whispered drunkenly, "and- and guess what?" he giggled, the others drunk as heck looking ever intrigued, "there are probably some people spending it on the toilet!" he let out a loud laugh as did the others, some grimacing, "anyway anyway! to conclude; you guys are lucky to be here, alive and well in the world we are in today, so just for tonight, whatever it is your going through, put it behind you and just give each other a damn hug!” he finished, his words slurred and incoherent but the meaning still stood.
basically everyone was stunned by his words, but too drunk comprehend, it all just sounding like a bunch of drunken gibberish. so they all just went back to hugging one another as if jin didn't just give a surprisingly very logical speech while yoongi and jungkook still stood there. they looked at each other, eyes red and tired stepped forward. yoongi took the initiative, stepping in so his chest was pressed flush against jungkook’s. jungkook’s breathing faltered and yoongi notice this. although jungkook was taller, it was not by much, especially with the way the younger’s head was down, faint pink painting his cheeks.
too adorable. yoongi thought.
they had drunken the least that night, but no doubt still drunk and suddenly, it felt like everything was normal again. yoongi took this chance and used his pointer finger to tilt he boys head up. he whispered and almost inaudible “sorry” before calmly leaning in, not stopping until their lips were just about touching. it would barely take any movement for them to kiss properly, lips connecting fully but both knew that if they did, they wouldn’t be able to pull away. instead yoongi moves his head to the side and pressed his lips to jungkook’s rosy cheek instead. it was more the corner of his mouth but it wasn’t directly the lips either. he then leaned back, taking in jungkook's dishevelled appearance and muttered a “c’mere” wrapping his arms around the adorable boys tiny tiny waist and tugging him closer by the white oversized hoodie. jungkook who was still in shock took a while to reciprocate the hug but eventually did, wrapping his arms around yoongi and nuzzling his head into his neck.
they stood like that for a while, not feeling the need to justify what just happened because they knew it was probably one of the last time's they would get to do this, both thinking the same thing but with different reasoning.
but they listened to jin and appreciated that they had each the warm embrace of each other’s bodies.
eventually their negative thoughts of not being able to go back to normal soon became a reality.
the times they hung out after that, they didn’t dare to mention what happened at new years, using the excuse that it was new years and they had too much to drink and it was a spur of the moment.
in reality new years was just a new day and they’d had the least drinks and the idea of just grabbing the boy and cuddling him in his cute sweater had been running through yoongi’s head all night.
but yoongi, who regretted not reciprocating jungkook’s confession was still not only worried about jungkook but also about hurting himself in a relationship that had poor communication and so many differences. he didn’t know how handle it, yet some how it made him want the younger boy more.
but nothing in life works out the way you want it to and that was definitely the case for them.
it just didn’t feel right.
and so naturally they drifted apart.
spending less and less time together.
talking less and less.
until eventually it all just stopped.
they didn’t talk, they didn’t hang out.
nothing.
jungkook felt empty.
-
that january was the hardest month of both boy’s lives.
never had they been separated for this long since they became friends, as stupid as that sounds.
they were currently at some fancy restaurant, celebrating a production deal yoongi and namjoon had signed with quite a popular artist artist in korea.
while everyone was hugging, all busy taking their seats, jungkook waited behind to see and congratulate his hyungs last.
“congratulations, hyung” jungkook said to yoongi after giving namjoon a hug, he stepped forward wrapping his arms almost cautiously around yoongi’s neck, as if asking wordlessly is this okay? and yoongi replied a silent yes by resting his arms around jungkook’s waist. the hung was brief, almost strange but it was needed and sweet in a way.
“oh!” jungkook then squeaked as he pulled away. he handed the small bag in his hand to yoongi.
when yoongi looked at him with a confused face, jungkook blushed looking down “for you and namjoon-hyung”
“jungkook-ah, you didn’t have to”
“i didn’t but i wanted to, i’m proud of my hyungies” his eyes widening impossibly large at the word slip and his cheeks deepening deep crimson. why did i say that? jungkook mentally cringed. he was more than embarrassed with how that came out.
yoongi didn’t know what else to say so he just watched the boy regret what just came out of his mouth and get all red and stuttery.
cute.
yoongi just smiled adoringly at the boy he’d not seen for just under a month as he shook his head, probably frustrated at himself, he watched as the younger waddled away to go sit in the only available seat which was next to jin.
it was odd how casual that interaction was, but they always ignored their strong feelings and urges in front of their friends despite how they really felt, to avoid being the cause of a divide or fight between them. they were too close for that; family.
although to no ones surprise, they didn’t talk directly to each other for the rest of the evening. but jungkook saw how when some of the members left to use the toilets yoongi who was now no longer speaking to anyone, opened the bag and pulled out an expensive looking piece of jewellery.
he smiled, sliding it on his wrist.
-
their friendship group had never broken. they’d never fought severely or taken sides if one did occur. and when they did disagree, it was always resolved, always. yoongi admired their group for this and jungkook adored it.
and so purely for that sake, they hung out and made small talk for the sake of their friends but it physically hurt jungkook how much he just wanted to be with yoongi, hold his hands, kiss his lips and it hurt yoongi having to resist it. to see jungkook sometimes scattered with the odd one or two hickies– obvious signs that jungkook was trying to get over him.
which jungkook had been trying to do, but he never slept with anyone. he couldn’t make it past making out, a few love bites being left from the really intense ones.
yoongi couldn’t handle it, seeing jungkook and knowing (assuming) somebody else had seen that gorgeous body in ways that only yoongi wish he could see made him want to hurt anything or anyone that came near his jungkook.
his.
the only way yoongi could stay calm was to avoid jungkook completely. he knew he would hurt and confuse the boy but it was better for this to happen now rather than hurting his future.
jungkook was hurt to see yoongi avoiding him, he tried to be subtle but jungkook thinks yoongi should work on hits subtleness skills. he also thought yoongi was the one who said they could stay friends but apparently not. in a way, he was glad, he doesn’t think he could control himself if he got too close to yoongi and he’d just end up getting more hurting by his older confusing hyung.
-
then february rolled round and everything changed.
namjoon had always been a big supporter of ‘yoongi and jungkook.’ he could see the obvious connection between them, that they themselves were too afraid to admit, well were back then.
and so when he heard of jungkook’s confession, he was brimmed with nothing but support. but when he heard yoongi’s reaction. he didn’t get angry with yoongi, he didn’t tell either that he thought what they did was wrong or unjustified. he didn’t try to comfort either of the boys and talk some sense into them, because he wanted them to learn. as much he wanted to see his friends happy, he knew that the best thing for them was to realise, own their own, for themselves, what they meant to each other. and eventually learn that they needed one another.
however hoseok and taehyung didn’t agree with namjoon's method. although it was a good suggestion to leave them to sort it out themselves, the two couldn’t stand their friends not being together. it had been 3 months, who knows how long it would take for the two love birds to sort out their problems? they decided to meddle.
jin and jimin, on the other hand, were just there to support jungkook and yoongi, let them know they still had friends who love and care about them both. jimin did however slightly agree more with namjoon over hoseok and taehyung wanting to meddle. for the most part, jin did not care, he just wanted his friends back and this to be over.
hobi and tae took that as 3 against 2 even though jin pretty much states his continual lack of interest in what they do.
so thus began taehyung and hoseok scheming, dragging jimin along despite his reluctance.
-
“a lamb what?”
“a lamb skewer cooking date” jimin smiled like what he said was the most innovative idea he's ever had.
“you may wanna work on the name”
“hyung” jimin whined “i’m trying to help”
“i don’t need your help” yoongi says bluntly.
“so you’re saying you don’t want to see jungkookie again, apologise for how you treated him?” jimin was regretting listening to taehyung and hoseok. he didn't know how long he had been here, trying to convince yoongi to call jungkook, invite him over, do something like try to cook lamb skewers- he wasn't good on the spot and so when yoongi had asked "lets say he did agree to come round, what exactly do you you propose we do?" jimin word vomited and eventually spurred out an enthusiastic "try and cook lamb skewers?" way to proudly, remembering it was the two's favourite dish.
“of course i do”
“then?” jimin prompted.
“then what?”
“talk to him” jimin said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, dumbfounded.
“it’s not that simple”
“how is it not? you’re the one who ignored him”
“i didn’t ignore him, he could of called me. the feeling was mutual” yoongi weakly defended.
“hyung. when somebody who you fucking admire with all your heart stops talking to you, stops hanging around you and pretty much avoids all situations where you’re present- not at all subtly, may i add- it’s a pretty big give away they don’t want to be around you”
"that's how it came across?" yoongi pauses with a sigh. "i’m an idiot”
“i’m not arguing with that but this is no time for a pity party, you need to talk to jungkook” jimin said, handing yoongi his phone that lay atop the counter nearest jimin, off. yoongi sighed again, accepting it.
yoongi was an idiot. an idiot in love. and idiot who can’t do anything about that. an idiot who ended up hurting jungkook when his whole intention was not to.
the older didn't know if jungkoook would pick up let alone want to hear any of it, all he could do was hope, hope he hadn't hurt jungkook to the point he didn't want to see yoongi, he knows he already has hurt him, but he hopes the younger doesn't hate him. yoongi doesn't think he could handle that.
jimin messaged taehyung and hoseok shortly after to let them know yoongi was going to call jungkook later, once he finished his work in the studio, however he made sure to include his reluctance to.
ji min(niemouse) to 'sunshiner s'
i talked to yoongi but just so you know, i’m not okay with this
tae(tertots) to 'sunshiners'
you’ll thank us when they’re together
hob(o)i to 'sunshiners'
don’t you want to see them happy?
were not interfering, just guiding them
-
now that taehyung and hoseok has succeeded in part one of their 'mission' if you could really call it that- it was time for their part to come into action. their part in the mission was the easiest part according to jimin but a sad jungkook was heartbreaking to see and hard to deal with, so they disagreed.
they pocketed their phones after messaging jimin, exchanging a look, communicating with there eyes.
then they entered jungkooks apartment using the key they had to his apartment because the knew that no matter how many times they knocked, it would be to no avail. they all had keys to each others apartments, the level of trust in each other uncanny, more than their own families. apart from jin's- he had too much valuable things, too much to risk, he blamed it on his work. when they walked in to the apartment they saw takeout cartons littered all over the floor, and the place didn't smell so good either. taehyung just shrugged, heading towards jungkook's bedroom, whereas hoseok tried to discard some of the mess. when they entered the bedroom they saw jungkook sprawled out on the bed, face buried in his pillow.
"what do you want?" didn't even have to turn to know it was either jimin, taehyung or hoseok. maybe two, maybe all, maybe one. maybe it was a stranger trying to rob him. hah right, what did he have to take that was worth something? answer: he didn't. there was truly no point.
"jungkookie" hoseok started in a gentle voice.
"what?" so jungkook was there amongst that pile.
"disrespectful brat"
"what do you want?" he repeated again, annoyance now making its way into his tone.
taehyung jumped in, "listen its been a week since you've left your apartment, its about time you get up, don't you think?"
"or at least take a shower" hobi muttered, smell still hitting.
taehyung stifles a laugh at hoseoks clear disgust.
"come with us to the studio" it was more imperative than question.
"i suppose, perhaps and no" came the younger's blunt replies.
"come on jungkook-ah, it'll be fun"
"leave me alone" came his next short reply.
taehyung sighed.
"okay, listen here, you're gonna get up take a shower and meet us downstairs in half-an-hour or I'm gonna f--"
"you're gonna what, huh?" jungkook finally looked up, challenging the elder.
"thats it-" taehyung said launching himself at the younger but before he managed to make any contact with jungkook, who was more than able to win, strong arms wrapped around his torso preventing him from movement.
"what?-" taehyung whined looking around to see hoseok carrying him outside.
"stay here" he told him, "before you get your ass beat"
taehyung pouted but obeyed.
hoseok went back inside the apartment and was greeted with a grumpy jungkook dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a large hoodie. jungkook looked like he was about to kick him out when hobi said "look, i know you want me to leave, and i will in a minute, but hear me out".
jungkook averted his gaze from hoseok, silently telling him to continue.
"no offence but you don't look so good and all of us have been worried about you, kookie, i know you've been like this, and correct me if I'm wrong, because of what happened between you and yoongi hyung but you cant lock yourself away and expect us not to worry. in the time since we all met and been friends we've always had each others backs. this thing between you yoongi, even though you guys try to play it off when in front of us, is not only affecting you two but us too. it won't blow over unless you talk. we always sensed something between you two and believe me none of us expected this outcome, however what's done is done and you shouldn't be treating yourself in this way. sort it out, don't sort it out, its your choice but just remember that it's not just you you're hurting. taehyung and i will be downstairs" he said glancing down at his watch, "you have twenty minutes to get ready if you still wanna come to the studio. we'll be waiting" he gave a small smile exiting the apartment leaving a confused and guilty jungkook behind.
eventually jungkook did come downstairs, having finally taken a shower and dressed in something other than sweatpants, they headed off to the studio where yoongi was finishing up wok with namjoon, jimin there against his will, if this failed this was the last time he let taehyung and hobi drag him into anything.
-
yoongi was finishing up at the studio, jimin saying he'd wait with namjoon to finish up and telling yooongi to just call jungkook already. so there he was just about to call the maknae when all the rest of their friends came rushing into the studio, loud and stumbling. where they drunk? yoongi thought.
"why are you all-" just before he could question his friends, a certain brown haired boy waltzed into the room, trailing behind them. it'd been a while since he'd seen jungkook; but the boy looked even more beautiful than he remembered. maybe that was cheesy, but yoongi couldn't help himself, he'd been away from jungkook for two long. so what if his opinion was a little bias.
"hyung?" jungkook said when he saw yoongi, turning round to face his friends, "i thought you said it'd be just us"
"jungkook" the name rolled off his tongue. jungkook snapped his head round to meet his gaze. "what are you- we were just- i was-" good job yoongi mentally scolded.
"uh. i think we should leave you guys to talk.. if you can even form sentences" jimin said, pocketing his phone he was apparently using. he stood up, tugging on a confused namjoon's arm, grabbing taehyung's hand, who grabbed hoseok's and leading them out of the studio. yoongi heard a small "jin-hyung is waiting for us downstairs" and a groan from namjoon about not finishing his work before footsteps faded and it was just silence.
"i was just going to call you"
"oh" the younger squeaked.
"yeah" yoongi rose a hand to the back of his neck, scratching awkwardly.
"jungkook. i'm sorry" the elder began, he didn't have time to think or plan this. his mind was everywhere, this is why he was gonna call him later, so he could gather his thoughts but now he had the boy in front of him, looking as gorgeous ever, big doe eyes curious. nonetheless he walked over to jungkook hesitantly grabbing his hand, forcing the younger to maintain eye contact.
"i never meant for this to happen. to be so awkward, to barely speak, to even hurt our friends somehow." he laughed sadly at the last part, their friendship group meant a lot to each other. more than anyone in the world could imagine. none were afraid or awkward around one another, it was so trusting, so comfortable. jungkook supposes that's where he got the courage to confess his feelings to yoongi from in the first place from, they practically raised him. there was never a moment where any boy ever felt unsafe around the group. however both yoongi and jungkook failed to realise how deeply there -lack of- friendship was starting to affect everyone, suddenly they only had time for their own problems; realising they were both sad. realising that they were afraid. committing when being such good friends in a fairly large group was something that they never wished for, but upon discovering feelings, it was all that they could wish for. what about all the problems the others were facing? what about jin's job? taehyung failing his classes, hoseok's dad, jimins' financial situation? namjoon's and yoongi's company not living up to what he had hoped?
"i was so caught in my own feelings, forgetting how my reaction may hurt you. i was so selfish, and I'm so sorry-"
"yoongi-"
"no you don't understand. i thought i was helping you but i'm just causing you more pain-"
"hyung. you cant force yourself to love me back. i get it, i just wish you would have talked to me- not avoid me like i had just confessed murder, i know it might of been weird for you but you were- you are my best friend and i didn't think you would react the way you did; 'wise i wouldn't of said anything, but what happened happened -- which wasn't your fault. in fact i'm too blame for a lot too"
"jungkook. that's not true. i'm sorry for lying and putting you through this- i was just so doubtful but the truth is, i do like you. i do so much, jungkook. possibly more than you, you have no idea" he chuckled sadly.
"you what?" jungkook looked up, frown gracing his lips- "you lied?" yoongi thought he looked so young.
"i had to-"
"and for what-- we could have been happy all those months... but instead- i don't understand? w-why?" jugnkooks eyes had welled up by this time, small tears escaping and fuck- yoongi had never seen him so vunerable; he didn't know what to do. jungkook layed his heart out and yoongi walked over it.
"jugnkook, please don't cry.."
"i'm not" he mumbled, bringing his hand to his cheek, as if now realising he was in fact crying, "don't look at me" he hid his face then muttered out an almost inaudible "i look gross"
"jungkook, you could never" he reached out, pulling jungkook's hands away from his pretty face and wiping the stray tears with the pad of his thumb, pressing a soft kiss to just under jungkook's eye on each side of his rosy cheeks.
"h-hyung" jungkook was furiously red.
"jungkook-ah, please just hear me out okay, i promise i never meant to hurt you, i'm so sorry" he said keeping a soft stroke of his thumb against jungkook's cheek. "i've loved you for as long as can i remember. the first day we met, you were so interested in everything i said or did. the other's babied you but i always treated you like an adult. not because i wanted to but because you were a typical teen, pretending you didn't love being looked after by a group of hyungs, and so naturally if i treated you like "what you wanted" to be treated like you'd take more interest in me. the others said i was just a grump but looking back guess it was just out of jealousy because i wanted you to be my baby-"
"yoongi!" jungkook punched him in the chest, "what a creep"
"okay. i'm sorry. but anyway, remember a few months after that, it was halloween we were all drunk, and we threw a party, you were very underaged-"
"i wasn't that-"
"i know the legal age with your parents present is 16, but it wasn't one glass and I'm not your father. anyway you came stumbling in to my room, much like you came stumbling into my life and sat yourself down on my lap- which you do a lot by the way- and i remember you were crying ["whats wrong, bunny?" yoongi ran his hands through the youngers fluffy bunny ears he had on, "h-how did hyung kn-know he was- he liked boys"] my heart ached for you, i just wanted to hold you forever and tell you it'd be okay, it was very obvious that it bothered you and you were so scared, but i held you tight, letting you sob into my shirt and i stroked your hair, telling you about my family, what happened back then, how my sister holly and i didn't have great home life so we ran away from daegu to here, how they-" yoongi had to pause, remembering his sister hurts him more than most things, "how social services took her from me because i couldn't provide for, how my childhood never really existed before i moved here, then of course i answered your question- which you fell asleep during, brat. that was the first night i would say we really connected, we learnt so much about each other. i was trying to let go of what happened around that time, you helped me too. when woke up the next morning you told me that you thought you were gay, but your parents wouldn't accept and the reason you were crying was because you and jimin were dancing and people had made so derogatory comments. jimin laughed it off, whoever said it, their words didn't have any intended maliciousness from what you told me but because you were figuring out your sexuality it hit you hard, and you ran off in tears to me. sometime later, when you knew for definite we decided to tell your parents, they looked at me like i poisoned you but i held your hand the whole time, when they kicked you out, i told you to move in with me and your ass said you couldn't possibly- did you actually think i would let you live on the streets, really kook? anyway, in those months living together, before yo got a job and a apartment, i knew id fallen for you, and yes it was legal in the eyes of the law, but not morally. i'm your hyung, although you pretended to be happy ["i always wanted to live with hyung anyway"] i knew you missed your mom and dad, i'm so glad you guys talk now, but then you were vulnerable and it would of been taking advantage, i couldn't be your first boyfriend, first kiss, first time. i wasn't prepared to take all that from you. that day i vowed and i promised to look after you no matter what, you came first. i didn't tell you how i felt because i was worried. there's many reasons that i could list as to why we can't be together, just know i lied to protect you.. and i know i did such great job in not hurting you but i swear I've only ever had that intention at heart. i don't deserve someone like you jungkook, we're complete opposites and i was just so afraid, still am. you have so much ahead for you, i'm just-"
"hyung" jungkook had tears coating his cheeks the memories, "i remember it too, even clearer perhaps, i remember looking up to you with so much admiration, you were like a hero, as cheesy as that sounds, you always saved me. those nights we lived together before i moved out were the best nights of my life, you were so you. so comfortable and even though you acted like you didn't care, i knew you did. little sixteen year old me thought you were perfect. and you were right, i had never been exposed to anything about boys until i met you so it would be unfair to take a bunch of my firsts, but you didn't. you didn't and I'm so thankful, because i had time to experiment and explore, and at then end of the day, the same results showed, i want you. i've only ever wanted you. do you not see how good you've been to me already? resisting, still putting yourself through hell to make sure i'm okay and i'm looked after, i love that but yoongi-hyung, i'm not sixteen anymore, I'm twenty this year, and i know that's a while away and i know that's still young but i know what i want. i'm mature enough to make up my mind about this, i wan you, hyung, please"
"jungkookie, theres so much you're not considering, i dont wanna hurt you-"
"you would never hurt me"
"-you're may mot realise it now but you'll grow up more and realise you made the wrong choice, you're naive-"
"that's impossible being raised by you guys"
"-i just doubt it would work. what if we broke up? then what?"
"-then we get the fuck over it" jungkook, slightly frustrated, cut in once again, determined.
this caught the older's attention, "right. its not thats simple, look at how this affected us" yoongi pulled his hand away.
"and look at us now"
yoongi blinked, "i wouldn't exaclty say this is a highlight in our friendship"
"no, but we're here. talking. what you just said, that's not something you say to someone and can then go back to being friends. but i'll give you the benefit of the doubt, if you can look me in the eye and tell me you'll be fine without me and you don't want to be together, i will walk away and i'll stop trying. i know it'll hurt and it'll be hard but i'll move on. besides you're right, there are probably many other people out there for me. there not who i want, but if you want, i'll find someone who takes care of me like you wish you could." and that cut yoongi deep, jungkook wasn't saying it to hurt him, or to be condescending, he really wasn't. he was simply trying to tell yoongi that if they walk away from this now, jungkook promises to be okay, he'll find someone who loves him, that way, yoongi woudn't have ever broken his promise in not hurting him.
but yoongi didn't want that, "no" yoongi still had the doubts, they wouldn't of gone in a couple of minutes, but as the time did pass his reluctance was fading piece by piece by piece. he was slowly realising that just because his his youth was cut short, it didn't mean everyone else didn't have one. he believed in letting people live out their youth happy, young an free, before the shit storm that is adulthood hits you, but he was realising that having a childhood isn't the reason for happiness; that jungkook is happy despite his youth being messed up. it didn't mean that yoongi was bad for him or would hurt him. neither correlate. it just meant you had to find something that makes you feel like that happy innocent person you were, and for yoongi and jungkook, it was each other. yoongi sighed deep, looking up at jungkook's tear stained face. "you're not a kid anymore, are you?"
"no. i grew up, hyung. please."
"i'm sorry" and just when jungkook thought he was going to be rejected for the umpteenth time, yoongi said "for being an idiot. i had issues that have to deal with myself, its nothing to do with you. i thought i let them go but i feel like i let people down and then lose them, and thats hard to just let go of, especially when they mean so much to me. relationships are about trust, love, care, intimacy and communication. we have all of them, i guess i was just so scared because of everything that happened but i- i dont want you to find someone else. i wanna take care of you, i wanna love you. and i want you tube mine. if you can find it in you to forgive me, jungkook, i will do all of that and more. i won't lose you."
"i want that too, hyung, in fact nothing sounds better. of course i do." jungkook leapt into yoongi's arms, hugging tight. the two could hear the cheers from outside and the two pulled away, curious, "so i'm guessing our idiot friends were waiting outside, trying to listen from the window?" he walked over to said window, drawing back the blinds as if making a point, and waving outside. and surely there was the rest of their friends, scrambling away, taehyung hitting his head on a pole in the process. "knew it"
yoongi laughed as did the younger and after a while he walked over to jungkook, pulling him onto his lap, "so what does this mean?"
"well i know you spent a quarter of your life in love with me, but you should take me on a date before we make it official"
yoongi looked at the boy before him, saw his teasing smile but beyond that he saw the hurt yoongi caused, the adoration he held for the elder, the plea from his words. the cautiousness of his eyes, afraid yoongi would change his mind.
"kook-ah, I'm sorry for hurting you, but i want you to know that i'm not leaving" and jungkook smiled bright, so bright yoongi was blinded. and in that moment, yoongi knew he had made the right choice. if it meant getting make him smile like that everyday, it was right. jungkook with a surge of confidence, placed his hands on yoongi's shoulders, shifting so he was straddling the the older, leaning his face close to yoongi who tilted his head up, the arms that lay around jungkook's waist now rubbing his back. jungkook could feel the warmth of yoongi's breath as he whispered "kiss me, please?" the other stared at him with intense eyes, leaning up before speaking,
"should probably take you on a date first"
jungkook pouted, "hyung" he whined, as yoongi laughed loudly at the younger neediness, pressing a kiss to his pout, "aw i'm sorry pouty baby, hyung is mean" jungkook's pout was gone and yoongi's heart melted at the way the younger whined again. from there he couldn't resist, he leaned in, closing the gap between the two, pressing his lips onto jungkook's properly. they moved softly, slow and cautious, before jungkook decided to take things further and opened his mouth slightly to allow yoongi's tongue in. yoongi took the opportunity to do so, tongue entering his wet cavern, tongues melding together softly, he was aware it was there first kiss but he had been waiting for this too long. he released a content sigh at the feel of their tongues gliding, into the kiss, the air immediately went into jungkook's lungs, filling his chest with warmth. yoongi's hands found refuge on the youngers waist and back once again and jungkook's fingers now held the elder's face in his hands.
"guys-" they were interrupted as the rest of their five friends came bursting in. "oh"
jungkook jumped up off of yoongi's lap blushing madly when yoongi murmured, "this better be good."
"well, it is, considering it was an idea from the God's"
they all snapped their heads to look round at taehyung in confusion, "ah, i should explain. you see, i was hit on the head by a mysterious piece of paper, littered in fancy writing and colourful images. the sight was a true beauty, almost like my lizard renoir-"
"what the heck, tae"
"we literally saw you walk into a pole and the leaflet hit you on the head."
"when did you get a lizard called renoir?"
taeyung pouted. "they didn't have to know the leaflet part- oh and i don't, i just want one." he regained smiled. sometimes they worried about him.
"okay well sorry to interrupt, both you guys-" he motioned to yoongi and jungkook "and taehyung's little fantasy?- but when taehyung hit his head on the pole-"
"thanks by the way" taehyung grumbled playfully at jungkook.
"your welcome" jungkook smiled sarcastically.
"-a poster fell, its for a fun fair, on today. 4-8pm."
"what time is it now?" yoongi asked, intrigued.
"five-"
"and we were hoping that if y'all had sorted out whatever it was you had to, we could go?"
"well it appears they more than have" namjoon muttered.
"indeed it does. so, can we go? it could even be like your first date!" jimin clapped excitedly.
"yeah yoongi, ask your boyfriend out"
the tips of yoongi's ears burnt red. "we haven't-"
"so that's why your tongue was down his throat?" hobi said, gaze expectant.
"we just-" jungkook tried.
"no. if you have time to make out, you have time to go to a funfair"
"how does the even relate?" they asked in confusion.
"it doesn't. lets go"
-
so there they were inline to go on a ferris wheel at 5pm outside on a cold rainy thursday. yoongi supposes it could be worse.
when walking up to the line, it was a narrow gap and somehow yoongi ended up at the front of the line followed by hoseok, jimin, taehyung, jin, namjoon and lastly, jungkook. somehow when walking jungkook ended up there and this was not good. how else would taehyung's plan work? jungkook needed to be at the front with yoongi considering there were two per seat and the rest of them weren't even going on the ride, albeit to jungkook and yoongi's knowledge and much to the reluctance of the other two maknae's.
taehyung whispered something to jin, whose job was to tell namjoon but unfortunatley he was stood next to the youngest, so couldn't jut say it. he had a plan;
"ah, i'm so cold" jin feigned to namjoon.
"not my problem you didn't bring a jacket."namjoon said, not catching on.
"maybe i just need a hug" jin reasoned.
"jimin gives good hugs" namjoon mused without thought.
"for shitsake namjoon, hug me!" jin yelled, wrapping his arms around the confused but compliant taller and bringing him in so his face was buried in his neck. now he could finally tell him.
jungkook looked at the two, perplexed but didn't pay much mind. he was too busy thinking of his kiss earlier with yoongi. jungkook felt overcome in happiness, from the fact yoongi remembered all that, from the fact he was finally letting go of the past, from the fact he's willing to give them a go-"
just then, he was snapped out of his trance by namjoon. "apparently the ride is in two's and theres seven of us, i don't mind sitting alone" he motioned for the younger to step in front. "are you sure, hyung?" "positive" he smiled in return.
"but i'm still cold" jin pretend pouted, stepping behind jungkook and hugging namjoon for his warmth once more. jungkook pretended like they were being subtle.
"oh, hey jungookie! jimin is being a total meanie-hyung right now. making fun because i'm scared-" taeg=hyung said, jungkook was next to jimin, jimin next to tae but-
"you're scared? of a ferris wheel?"
"fine you should ride with tae" jimin grabbed jungkooks arm, bringing him forwards and switching his place with him, taehyung playfully sticking his tongue out at jimin who just laughed at the younger 95er who had earlier said hey follow my lead, i'm a good actor. but jugnkook bought it, so maybe he was.
"ah, jungkookie, you're just so cute! you can go in front of me" he then urged the younger in front of him. jungkook was beyond dazed. perfect. just one more seat. taehyung winked at hoseok who returned the gesture with a small smirk. as the line moved he dropped small comments here and there about being scared.
he waited until they were a little further up, right at the front actually before they were about to be let on, "oh shit. i'm so nervous, i can't do this" hoseok rambled, climbing under the barriers and walking away, followed by the rest of the members. what the fuck?
before jungkook and yoongi could question it, they were being ushered onto the ride and told to their seats.
"our friends are idiots" jungkook eventually said once they were sat on the confines of a small cushioned booth, bodies pressed together, thighs touching- and suddenly jungkook felt the air leave his lungs and heat replace every inch of his skin instead, seriously why was it so cramped?
"you okay?"
"sure" far from it, yoongi was afraid of heights.
then, surely enough, the bar was being pulled down and the wheel began to turn, then there stood there friends. not on the ride, no, just staring up at them with evil smiles. and oh fuck, this wheel was actually quite high. did yoongi mention he was afraid of heights? don't look down, despite this thought, he did, seeing their idiot friends to quote jungkook huddled in a group, approaching the ride-manager, controller person- whatever they're called.
the two sat in silence for the first minute of the ride. there were barely any others on with them- and holy crap was it cold. jungkook could feel his skeletal muscles contract as his knee bounced up and down involuntarily. "are you cold, kook?" yoongi's voice broke the silence.
"huh- oh no, i'm alright" jungkook gave a shaky smile and small dismissive nod of his head. yoongi rolled his eyes, a fond smile gracing his lips, as he moved slightly forward, despite his anxiety, to shrug off his jacket. "if you're cold just say. it's my duty as your hyung to take care of you, kid" he handed his jacket to the younger who blushed, "no, i couldn't-"
yoongi caught a glimpse of the ground and they were almost at the top. "take the jacket, jungkook" he cut in, not about to put it back on after seeing how high up they were. he would much rather sit still from this moment. very, very still.
"you're going to freeze, hyung" jungkook mumbled while sliding this oversized jacket over his goosebump-covered arms.
"well at least if i do, those idiots won't have to suffer my wrath for this" yoongi muttered, sub-conciously moving in closer to the younger, seeking out the warmth of his favourite jacket; the shit he did for this kid.
"for what? for not going on the ride with us?" jungkook laughed with slight confusion etched onto his face. and shit, yoongi forgot that jungkook didn't know about his fear of heights, changing the top quickly he grabbed the youngers hand "you're afraid of heights, right?" jungkook's confusion grew deeper at the sudden topic change, and by yoongi's words.
"um no" jungkook laughed awkwardly looking at their intertwined hands, he tried not to burst out laughing at yoongi's (failed) attempt to be smooth. "is it possible that you're perhaps-" he smiled to himself, "are you afraid of heights, hyung?"
"pfft no, why- why would you think that-" yoongi denied then looked at their intertwined hands, he looked up to meet jungkook's expectant gaze, "we can stop of you want.. i just thought-" he went to pull away but jungkook tightened his grip on yoongi's hand.
"no!-" the younger said way too quickly, silently cursing himself. "i mean, it's quite cold- a-and your hands are warm and stuff.. so yeah, we can just- if you want.. its nice" jungkook looked around awkwardly to the other side, face completely flushed, cursing himself again. and this time yoongi smiled to himself. it was true, he was cold, but upon realising yoongi's fear, he wanted to make sure yoongi was okay as well as the fact that it was really nice and okay, maybe jungkook wanted to. jungkook, building up courage, was about to rest his head on the elder's shoulder when the moment was interrupted by a loud screech followed by an abrupt bang as the ride jerked forward, coming to a halt. the both boys hit into each other, jungkooks head hitting onto yoongi's shoulder and the latter's neck snapping forward, causing a groan of pain to leave him, hissing. "what was that?" jungkook asked, rubbing where he just hit his head on yoongi's shoulder.
"i don't know but we've stopped moving" yoongi replied, panicked- and just his luck. they were at the top.
"ah shit. um jungkook, i- i'm kinda afraid of heights"
jungkook released a loud laugh at this along with a snort. "yeah, i had noticed, hyung"
"shut up, brat"
"no i didn't mean- it's cute"
"cute?"
"yeah"
yoongi paused, a burst of warmth filling his chest, "jungkook." yoongi said grabbing jungkooks hand, "i meant what i said. i love you, but we have a lot to talk about. i'm not gonna make this official right now because it's not the time- we need to talk properly, but i did mean it and need you to know that."
"its okay, hyung. i get it, i just want enjoy this moment with you here and now"
yoongi smiled at the boy, that very smile holding all the words that neither spoke, they didn't need to or now, just a few more minutes up here under the peaceful sky.
it was on a thursday in early february, 7th to be exact, that yoongi and jungkook were sat at the top of the ferris wheel, at 6pm, the sky turning dark like it did in winter. the cold air, making it's way up their spines. breaths painting visibly into the air with every content exhale. yoongi's jacket lay wrapped around jungkook's shoulders, teeth cluttering, and jungkook's hand remained intertwined with yoongi's, state now calm and relaxed. their friends stood below them, watching, cooing, apologising. the manager trying to get the ride "unstuck" (an obvious idea of taehyung which yoongi was planning murder for) but for the first time in months; both were happy. both were not afraid. both were in love. they sat in a comfortable silence, smiles engraved onto their faces, warm hearts playing a steady melody, beating softly for one another. and although they still had a lot to talk about, a lot to figure out, they'd get through it.
it was in early february when jungkook said i love you, and this time, yoongi said it back.
it was in late november when jungkook confessed
it was in mid december when yoongi made a mess
it was early january when everything was wrong
it was in late february that their love grew strong