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"Woah...why do I feel like..."
Barnaby doesn't finish the sentence, dazed and distracted. He winces at the vague discomfort in his abdomen, but it’s not enough to keep him from sitting up. "Am I real??"
Barnaby's words are slurred; the pain medication he was given when the shrapnel was removed from his torso must be in full effect by now. His green eyes are glazed over and unfocused when they land on him.
"Wow. Hi."
"Hey, Bunny, how are you feeling?" Kotetsu smiles from his seat, and he can't help the little laugh that slips out as he watches the floaty way Barnaby moves his head around.
He's shrapnel-free, and Doc Saito's already set to work on reinforcing their jumpsuits to prevent this in the future when they're not powered up. Barnaby was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, unfortunately, and for once it had been Kotetsu's turn to carry him. He'd made it to the hospital with moments to spare on his power, and has been waiting out in the lobby and by Barnaby's bedside since.
He doesn't want to think about how it felt to see Barnaby unconscious in the hospital bed, or disappearing behind those surgery doors. Kotetsu's leg is tired from all the bouncing, but Barnaby is awake again.
A wide, loopy grin spreads across Barnaby’s features at the sight of Kotetsu before him. He leans forward a little bit.
"Better now. Are...you here for me? That's lucky!" There's barely disguised flirtation in his voice, Kotetsu notes, and it’s thick with intoxication. "I'm Bun. Burnaby. Bunnaby Brooks. The second one."
"I am here for you, yeah! I'm your partner, Kotetsu Kaburagi. The first one," Kotetsu laughs again, fonder this time, and looks outside. The nurse should be back soon, he would think. They can get out of here soon, finally.
Barnaby is... definitely flirting now. A bit more shamelessly than the occasional murmured comment or innuendo before their nights together, and it makes Kotetsu blush a bit, the way he says it with that wide, happy smile. Kotetsu's glad he was able to be here to take Barnaby home.
Speaking of which...
"The nurse'll be back soon to check you out and then we can take you home. You could probably do with some rest, too. Sound good?"
"Home?" Barnaby gasps, eyes blown wide. "I can go home? You're coming too? Are you.......oh my god, are you my boyfriend?"
He stares at him for a few seconds, big tears welling up in his eyes.
"But you're so hot!"
Kotetsu is startled speechless at that--they don't exactly have a name for what they are, they've just been hooking up (albeit, quite a bit), not actually properly dating. But now Barnaby's tearing up, and Kotetsu feels even more of a pang in his heart than he did when he watched Barnaby being pushed into surgery. Does he say yes to keep Barnaby from crying? Would he even remember anyway? But no, he can't lie to him like that, right?
But he doesn't have to flounder long, because before he can answer the nurse is sweeping into the room with a clipboard, looking at Barnaby--very much awake now--and then looking back down to the board. "Alright, Mr. Brooks, you should be good to go. And it looks like your... father? Is here to drive you home."
Kotetsu splutters from his seat--he's not that old!! He doesn't even look old!! She doesn't even glance at him, though, busy scribbling on the forms and stepping towards Barnaby.
The beginnings of a sob from Barnaby is halted by the entrance of the nurse, who he listens to with confusion on his face, squinting at her as if it will make the audio process better.
There's a long silence (besides Kotetsu's sputtering, indignant noises and the scratching of pen against paper) that falls over the room in the time it takes for what she said to register with Barnaby. And another moment or so of silence at Barnaby seemingly remembers some of the details of their relationship. When the silence is broken, it's by giggles--soft at first, slowly building up into an outright, loud, inebriated laugh.
"I'm fucking my dad!!"
That stops the nurse, and she looks up from Barnaby, back to Kotetsu, and again to Barnaby. Kotetsu can see the downturn of her lips, and it spurs him to finally get the words out.
"I'M NOT HIS DAD," he says quickly, face flushed incredibly, embarrassingly red. He crosses his arms defensively, and Barnaby's giggling fit is pointedly not helping, either. "I'm not his dad, I'm not even ten years older than him!"
She appraises him, nods, and holds out the paper to him across the space between them. "Just sign the release form," she says, and sounds tired. "We need this room freed up for one of the victims of that second bombing."
Kotetsu scribbles a hasty signature and then moves to the bed as she leaves. "Alright, let's get you home," he mutters. He's ready to be out of this too-white, too-sterile environment, to get this smell out of his nose and the flourescent lights out of his brain.
"Oh no, did you hear the lady?" Barnaby stumbles as he stands, collapsing against Kotetsu's chest with a slight wince. "Someone is still hurt...did I not save them good?"
He looks a little distraught. Maybe like he might cry again. Barnaby cries more than one might expect (usually in private, barring the occasional public outburst, and only more recently beginning to in front of Kotetsu) when he's not drugged up, and evidently, drugs make him even more emotional.
"Am I a bad hero?"
Kotetsu's heart does ache a bit hearing that now, and he's putting his hands on Barnaby's back to help steady him (and to comfort him a little) as he looks up at him from his slouch against Kotetsu's chest.
"No, no, Bunny," he says soothingly, rubbing his back carefully. "You did a really good job, you saved so many people from the first bomb, okay? The nurse was just talking about the other one--that one went off while you were in surgery. We were both here," he says, and he does feel a bit guilty for that, but he was waiting to make sure Barnaby was okay, he couldn't just leave him here--
He couldn't just leave someone here again. Kotetsu swallows the lump that forms in his throat and pulls Barnaby just a bit closer at that. It wasn't a serious surgery, but it was still surgery, he still was here asleep in the hospital for a while afterwards.
"The others took care of it, it wasn't too bad, okay?" He keeps talking gently, still rubbing Barnaby's back--though, for whose benefit, he's no longer sure. "You're the best hero, did you know that, Bunny? The number one hero!"
"What?? I'm the BEST one?" When Barnaby starts to move, he pulls away, walking toward the door. But he reaches back for Kotetsu's hand, still a little wobbly. His forehead is furrowed in thought. "That sounds fake. I get points sometimes I think. That's not the important part."
The hand in his is warm, clutching to him a bit like a lifeline as Barnaby makes his shaky way to the door. Kotetsu watches carefully in case he falls.
His partner is so different from the person he was when they met. Even when drugged out of his gourd, Barnaby's talking pretty humbly about his job.
He's talking like Kotetsu.
As they make their way down the hall, Barnaby seems to come to another realization. "Wait--...you didn't go? Why?"
Barnaby limp in his arms, blood visible even through the black undersuit, the smell of the hospital’s sterility already sinking into his nose--
"I woulda been okay alone...as long as you promised to come back..."
Kotetsu’s not sure how to answer the second question--he's told Barnaby about Tomoe passing of an illness, sure, but not about how the sight of hospitals make him feel sick and guilty and, honestly, scared now. How, no matter the mildness of the injury, he was still scared as he waited for Barnaby.
"Of course I would have come back," he acquiesces, "But I would rather not leave you while you're here. Okay?" It's a bit pleading, the tone saying 'we can talk about this later when you're more sober,' although he's not sure how well Barnaby can read his unspoken urging while he's in this state. At any rate, they can talk more about it when he's out of here, so he keeps steering his partner through the halls to the door and remembers that he didn't actually drive them here. They'll have to take a cab.
"Mm...okay." Barnaby says it like he's only somewhat satisfied with that answer. But, luckily for Kotetsu, he's quickly distracted again. "I want a fucking cheeseburger."
Kotetsu's gripping his hand gently, and he can see the frustration on Barnaby's face as he's trying every which way to get out of here. He corrects their path for the fifth time, and squeezes the hand, trying not to laugh at Barnaby's drugged up looseness in talking. Especially when he swears--about a cheeseburger, no less.
"I want one so bad!! This maze isn't fun. Can we have cheeseburgers now please?"
"We can get you one soon, okay? Let's get a cab and we'll get you a cheeseburger before we go home. No pickles, right?" He adds teasingly, having recently learned of Barnaby's absolute abhorrence of the things. "We're almost outside."
"You remembered! I hate pickles!! I hate the smell, I hate the color, I hate the way it makes my tummy hurt...You're such a good boyfriend. M'gonna keep you."
He squeezes Kotetsu's hand lazily, unable to make a firm grip with all the drugs he’s been given.
"M'so lucky."
Kotetsu knows said drugs aren't going to last long, and Barnaby'll be back to his usual self soon, even though the nurses have ordered Kotetsu to keep him on the pills for at least ten more hours--until Barnaby goes to sleep, probably.
But in this little moment, he savors the way Barnaby's voice sounds when he says 'boyfriend.' It's incredibly self indulgent, but it's also mostly because he doesn't have the willpower to tell him no right now, not when he looked like he might cry earlier because he thought Kotetsu was attractive.
(He's also filed away that memory for another time, of Barnaby telling him how hot he was when he was acting like he was only meeting him now for the first time.)
"Me too, Bunny," he says, because surely that's not too much, surely that's okay, because he is lucky that Barnaby likes him enough to want to do what they've been doing lately. But calling him his 'boyfriend,' that's... probably just the drugs talking, he figures. Barnaby's acting in many ways like he's only just meeting Kotetsu, after all, and so he's probably just thinking about how they've been having sex and mis-connecting the dots in his head.
Yeah, that's probably it.
"Don't worry, I won't make you eat them this time, I promise." They're at the street now, and he can finally, finally relax a bit.
"Lets get cheeseburgers and go home. Oh!! And cuddle! Let's...let's go home and have cheeseburgers and cuddle. Can we watch something easy? I dont have the brain for something hard today."
"Uh. Sure, we can do that?" It comes out with a laugh, maybe a tiny bit unsure, and he hopes Barnaby doesn't notice, or thinks it's just him chuckling at Barnaby being high. "We'll go back to your place, okay?"
He waves over a taxi after a few attempts, and has the driver take them to a little fast food place near Barnaby's apartment. Luckily, they're already in the Gold Stage, so it's not too terribly far away. Kotetsu does apologize, good naturedly, in advance for Barnaby's lack of a filter. He runs in quickly to put in their usual order from nights working late and heading to Barnaby's or his place together with little patience for waiting on something more.
When he comes back out, it's clear he's been talking the driver's ear off.
"So that's why I think horses don't have souls. What do you think? You don't like horses, do you? You don't. If you're smart." The end of Barnaby's babbling sounds vaguely threatening, but he's distracted as his partner returns to the car with two paper bags.
"Now! I waited for EIGHT MONTHS in that hallway for a burger and now I'm gonna fuckin' eat one."
Kotetsu makes a mental note to give this driver a really good tip, for Barnaby's chattering and for the fact that they're about to eat in the cab.
"Okay, okay," he says, because he has a hard time saying no to something like this, and pulls Barnaby's first cheeseburger out of the bag. Kotetsu got a few--just in case Barnaby wanted another. Handing it over to Barnaby, he then unwraps his own--with extra mayonnaise--to take a bite. "Is it good?"
Biting into the cheeseburger, Barnaby doesn't just ‘mmm!’ or ‘that's so good.’
Barnaby moans.
He's loud and almost obscene sounding when he does, his eyes closing as he chews, and for a split second Kotetsu thinks maybe he's done it on purpose, because good food or not he has no business sounding this good. When his partner does speak, the words come out garbled and pretty unintelligible. "Mmf. Yellow. God, so good. So yellow. Cheese? Happiest."
The spell breaks; Kotetsu almost drops his own burger in the ensuing laughing fit, wipes the beginnings of a tear from his eye with his clean hand. "Yellow? Is yellow a good flavor, Bunny?"
"Mhm." He leans over, wincing a little as he shifts to lean on his partner's shoulder. "Dont drop pickles on me. I'll kill you."
He says it casually, sweetly; he's making himself comfortable, eating his food at an angle laying on Kotetsu. They haven’t ever really done anything like this outside of the times they’ve had sex, and certainly never just resting casually against each other--besides, Kotetsu’s been so careful not to overstep boundaries, because this really has only been casual sex, and why wouldn’t Barnaby just have asked him out if he really did have the same feelings Kotetsu did?
But now Barnaby is leaning against him, eating his burger, and softly, sweetly says, "Thank you, baby."
For what feels like the millionth time so far this day, Kotetsu freezes, and is a bit lost for words. His burger moves to his other hand, silently taking heed of Barnaby's joking warning, and he swallows much harder than an ordinary bite should feel.
Barnaby’s never called him that outside of bed before, and it's caught him completely off guard. Maybe he should say something, but he can't right now. He doesn't want to upset Barnaby, but he doesn't want to let him do more than they probably should, because as much as it fills Kotetsu with that sort of light airy happiness--
He also knows it's going to hurt like hell when it's over.
Kotetsu’s probably already pushing it just with the way they’ve been casually hooking up, after all, so to go along with what high Barnaby’s believing might really be too much when it ends.
"You're welcome, Bunny..." he finally says, kind of lamely, and drops his shoulder so Barnaby can rest easier. The bags shift on his lap.
"Did you...did you get me more burgers?? Oh my god--you're so sweet and good. This is why I told mom and dad about you. You're good to me." Barnaby practically nuzzles into his shoulder. "Prince Charming. That's you. That's your name now!"
As he polishes off the first one, he wipes his hands off on his pants--something Kotetsu imagines briefly that Barnaby may regret later--and sighs, content. "I'll keep them for later, Prince Charming."
Don't think about that right now, Kotetsu, don't think about that right now, Kot--
He's thinking about it.
Barnaby told his parents about him? Well, he supposes, he is his hero partner after all, so he's had to have come up once or twice of course, but now Barnaby is snuggling against him, and he's trying not to overthink this either, because Barnaby is just high, that's all, and it'll be back to 'normal' in a few days, and--
"Oh, we're here," the driver calls over his shoulder, and he looks a bit frazzled after everything. Kotetsu fishes out about twice the amount that the fare would be and hands it forward, thanking the man and helping Barnaby sit back up to unbuckle. He does it for him, though, since he figures the mechanism might be kind of difficult right now, and slides out to wait for Barnaby behind him.
"Oh! Charming!" He says it again with emphasis as Kotetsu unbuckles him and helps him out. Barnaby manages to climb out, with a little difficulty and a LOT of help. And, stoned off his ass as he is, he makes extra sure to grab the bag of extra cheeseburgers.
"Thank you! Please … don't trust horses. Goodbye!" Barnaby waves to the driver as the poor man peels off. As he's ushered into his apartment building, Barnaby’s attention turns back to Kotetsu again.
He's searching for Barnaby's keys in his pocket--Saito had run them into the hospital from the transporter for them while Agnes was updating Lloyds and setting up their few days of leave for recovery (with Kotetsu as Barnaby's temporary caregiver, which he didn't object to in the slightest after the stress of the hospital).
They're making their way into the building, with a long elevator ride ahead of them. Barnaby is clutching that bag like it's precious cargo, and Kotetsu can't help but think it's incredibly cute.
He doesn't say it out loud, but he definitely thinks it.
Barnaby’s making that thinking face again. "I'm not a princess, though. Is that alright? I'm okay, right?"
"’Okay’? What do you mean by that?"
"I'm okay for you, aren't I?" He looks at him with too-big eyes, tightening his grip on the rolled up top of the bag, and all Kotetsu can think is--
Oh.
This is... a new expression for Kotetsu to see. He's never really seen Barnaby look at him like this, like he's not so sure of where they stand, and it makes his heart skip a beat when he realizes what his partner is asking.
How does he answer this? Does he tell him the kinda-truth and hope Barnaby doesn't think twice of it when he comes back down to earth? Does he let him down easy about the fact that they're not in love with each other, he's just a foolish old man who's fallen for him? No, he can't do that--he can't have this conversation now, when they're about to spend the weekend together here. Besides, Barnaby isn't sober, and he definitely should be if they're talking about this. That, or Kotetsu would need a few drinks first to steady his nerves.
"Of course you are," he says, softer, putting a hand on Barnaby's shoulder when he realizes the only sound for a good moment has been the whirring of the elevator. "We're partners, aren't we? The best partners! You're more than okay, you're--"
--lovely, amazing, incredible, sweet, everything, I love you--
"--wonderful, Bunny. Wonderful Bunny." Kotetsu smiles, and rubs his thumb against Barnaby's shoulder.
Barnaby stares at him in surprise for a moment--maybe a moment of clarity, given how serious and clear his eyes look in this moment--and takes a step forward to close some of the space between their bodies in the elevator. He leans close, close enough to feel Kotetsu's breath against his lip.
Kotetsu doesn't move, because Barnaby's doing all that for them, and he can see now just how much Barnaby’s face has a sort of aware look about it that it hasn't so far since he's woken up, and now he's in his personal space and getting closer, and Kotetsu knows this look and just maybe this once it would be okay, and--
--ding!--
The doors slide open and the moment seems to shatter, Kotetsu shudders a little exhale and takes Barnaby's hand again as if Barnaby still needs him to to stay steady, even though he feels like he's the one that needs to be steadied, and gently pulls him out of the elevator. "Here, let's get inside? We can sit on the--"
Chair, somehow? Shit, he hasn't really thought this through, huh?
"Uh."
"Bed!" Barnaby supplies and smiles warmly, rubbing over the back of Kotetsu's hand with a wavering, uneven stroke of his thumb. "You said we could cuddle! I have no furniture because I don't have any friends. Nobody really comes over but you."
That hurts Kotetsu's heart a little bit. Barnaby hasn't had much experience interacting with the other heros, and maybe Kotetsu can do something to help remedy that, so Barnaby's points of contact don't have to be just him and Mr. Maverick (although it does mean a lot to him that Barnaby trusts him enough to hold him that highly, and not just because of the sex, he thinks). He's sure if the others really got to know Barnaby they'd understand why he enjoys Barnaby's company so much.
(Well. Hopefully not all the reasons, even if that is thinking a little too much like Barnaby is kind of his in that regard.)
Barnaby interrupts his train of thought, pulling at his hand. "Come on, come on! It's comfortable I promise--wait!! You've been in my bed before!" He laughs. "We fucked there!"
"I mean, you're not wrong about /that/," Kotetsu says, and wishes somehow he could will his cheeks not to blush for once hearing Barnaby say something like that, and unlocks the door for the two of them. "It's probably best if you lie down though, anyway, right? We can get you your next dose in a bit, but for now..." He holds the door open for Barnaby and walks with him to the bedroom.
"Oh, right, the burgers... do you want me to put them in the kitchen?"
"Yeah, put them away for me?" He hands the bag over to Kotetsu gingerly--like they're a precious gift--and with just a hint of hesitation. "...be careful with these, Tiger. I love them so much."
"I will be, don't worry, Bunny," he calls over his shoulder, and Kotetsu is nearly to the counter when he hears Barnaby yell. He nearly drops the bag onto the counter before he's running back as fast as he can, expecting to see Barnaby with pulled stitches or something /worse/ and need the hospital again and--
"Ow! Fuck!! Did someone stab me? Is my tummy broken? I don't like this. I don't like this. Kotetsu?? I don't--"
--no, Barnaby's just splayed out on the bed, touching his abdomen. He breathes a sigh of relief from the doorway, leans against it for a moment as the adrenaline washes over him and away.
"You got some metal lodged in it," he explains. "It's okay, they got it all out. I promise," he says, and he sits next to Barnaby on the bed, places a light hand on top of his partner's head to test the waters before he gently runs them through golden curls, comforting his nervous partner. He hasn't really done this outside of when they're having sex either--maybe a little brush every now and again while Barnaby's asleep, but not like this. This is deliberate, calming.
Who it's meant for, he's not so sure right now.
"Mmm..." Barnaby's eyes slip closed and he sighs softly. "I love it when you do that. It feels so good. Like you care about me. I care about you too."
This is okay, right? He's not just some creepy old man taking advantage of Barnaby while he's like this, as long as he doesn't do anything they don't normally do, right?
Well. Of course he's not going to try anything sexual while Barnaby's injured. He's not an asshole, no matter what Barnaby's said when he's being a bit of one in bed.
"Lay down with me..." Barnaby says into the silence, pouty, almost whiny. "Please? I want you. Stay with me."
"Sure, Bunny, I'm not going anywhere, okay?" He shrugs off his vest and his hat, tosses them aside and stretches out next to Barnaby. He doesn't want to hurt him by throwing an arm over him like he wants to, so he just lies on his side next to Barnaby, rests a hand on his arm.
"That's better.” Barnaby sighs softly beside him, and says, "I love you."
Is it his brain that stopped? Or his heart? Kotetsu isn’t sure.
Would it really be so different than when he tells Antonio this, or any of the other heros? When he tells his friends this?
(Of course it is, his brain yells, because you're in love with Barnaby.)
But... If Barnaby asks later he could always remind him he says it to his friends--
(Idiot, he'll know --)
"Love you too, Bunny," he says softly, probably damningly, and wills himself not to tremble as he does, because what is he going to do if he loses this?
Barnaby is quiet for a moment, face pressed against Kotetsu's chest. Then comes a sniffle. Two.
"Really?" Kotetsu’s shirt is getting wet, now. Barnaby's shoulders shake. "I wanted you to say that! You never say that! I wanted you to." His voice breaks. "You do so many good love things like get me extra cheeseburgers and stay with me in the hospital but you never tell me..."
Shit.
Now Barnaby's crying anyway, and Kotetsu feels a bit like he probably couldn't have gotten out of this situation with any other outcome, but at least he's not pushing him away, or telling him he doesn't care for him /that/ way. Then again, love is an ambiguous enough word, right? He loved Barnaby even before he was /in love/ with Barnaby, but saying it now feels like he's revealing all too much at once, even if his partner doesn't pick up on it.
"I mean, of course, I care about you a lot, Bunny," Kotetsu says, and he's back to putting his hands on Barnaby's shoulder blades where he's resting against him, rubbing little circles to try and comfort Barnaby. "Hey, hey, it's okay, Bunny...! Hey, you don't need to cry, it's okay."
He's fucked. He's utterly, thoroughly fucked, because all he wants to do is pull Barnaby into kiss after comforting kiss, tell him a million times over that he loves him. Instead, Kotetsu pulls him a little closer, mindful of Barnaby's stomach. This is what Barnaby wanted, right? It was okay since he asked, since he didn't have someone else to hold him while he was hurting.
Neither of them really did, come to think of it. Maybe this was something they both needed after all, and Barnaby hadn't known how to ask before now?
Whatever the reason, Kotetsu makes his partner a silent promise that he won't go anywhere while he's like this--he'll stay by his side, he'll do what he can to be what Barnaby needs.
Barnaby cries for a few minutes, wrapped up in Kotetsu's arms. Finally, though, it slows to quiet hiccups that must hurt when his injured stomach spasms with his diaphragm, judging by the way he whimpers. He's done crying, now, but sniffling and shaking with the aftermath. When he finally speaks, it's quiet, mumbled into his partner's chest thoughtfully.
"...Do you think if I become King of the City I can make horses illegal?"
It takes most of Kotetsu's brainpower to stay composed enough not to laugh at high Barnaby's strange logical leaps, because Barnaby was just crying on him and he doesn't want to make him think he's laughing at that. "I don't think the city has a king, Bunny. Maybe the mayor could try, but I don't know if you could actually outlaw them. What's with all the horse talk today, anyway?"
Kotetsu reaches for the bag the hospital gave him before he gets an answer, digs out the mini water bottle they gave him for taking Barnaby's pills.
"Here, this'll help the hiccups if you take ten little sips. Old family secret," he says with a wink.
"God, you're so sexy. I think you could tell me to never eat a cheeseburger again and I'd do it."
Kotetsu laughs a bit. That sounds a bit more like his usual Barnaby, minus the cheeseburger comment. "You say that, but you won't eat the pickles in them," he points out, good naturedly bumping his elbow against Barnaby's arm. "The vinegar helps you feel better, I'm telling ya."
Barnaby huffs his frustration and takes the water bottle, sitting himself up slowly and taking the water bottle. He holds it in one hand, twisting at the cap with the other. His hand twists around it instead of the cap coming loose. He tries another time. Same result.
He frowns. "This water is homophobic. Can you open it please?"
Kotetsu opens the water bottle with an easy motion after watching Barnaby's hands glance around it, and he's grateful his partner's grip was at least strong enough for the burger in the cab. "One homophobic water, coming up," he snorts, and hands it back to Barnaby, keeping the little plastic cap in his palm for when Barnaby's done.
Barnaby brings the bottle to his lips a few times, frowning and pulling it back. He seems to be trying to figure out the best ‘tiny sip’ approach.
There's a very small slurp as he finally drinks, skimming the surface of the water with his lips in a funny looking fashion.
"Okay, that's one--"
As he says so, he spills water down the front of his shirt from the bottle.
"Aww, Bunny!" Kotetsu reaches for the bottle before he can do any more damage. "Be careful, we don't wanna get the bandages wet!"
He slaps the cap back on the bottle as he surveys the damage. Barnaby's shirt is damp down to his stomach, but it's not enough to soak the bandages. "Lemme see--" he says, and tugs up Barnaby's shirt midway up his chest without a second thought to look at the bandages. Luckily, they're still dry.
Barnaby giggles when his shirt is tugged up and winks. "If you wanted to check me out, you could've just asked, baby." He pauses for a beat. "Am I wet?"
Kotetsu huffs a little laugh, and in retrospect he probably should have asked. "Your bandages are still dry," he says, and pointedly does not mention Barnaby's word choice, intentional or no.
The giggle and wink are pretty adorable, though.
"Remember when you said I didn't think you were cute and I told you that wasn't true? There's your proof," he grins at him.
(Why did he just say that out loud as if he's the one drugged out of his mind and not Barnaby?)
" You’re cuuute," Barnaby giggles again, pursing his lips and closing his eyes for a few seconds. When nothing happens, one eye pops open, and he frowns. Although really, it’s more of a pout.
"Darling...you were supposed to KISS me!"
Kotetsu stares, and he knows he should say something, but the combination of that name and what followed is so unexpected, he doesn't know what to say.
"I--uh--?" His hands are sweating, he can just tell. They've never done that outside of sex before, and now Barnaby's asking him to? Should he go along with it or is he letting this go too far now? What happens when Barnaby's medicine wears off--does he have to pretend Barnaby hasn't been asking him for these very... boyfriend-esque things?
Right now, Kotetsu is doing his best approximation of a fish, stunned and breath caught in his throat as Barnaby pouts. "Is that--uh--I--"
"You don't have to." Barnaby deflates, a little bit. "I know Agnes is making you stay here because I don't have anyone else. It's okay." Barnaby lays himself down on his back with a quiet groan. It definitely sounds like it still hurts. "Is it because of the pills that you don't want to? You can wait. If you kiss me any time, I'll be okay with it."
If Barnaby's asking him for these kinds of things, it must be because he at least wants the physical contact right now, right? Kotetsu feels like he's just had an epiphany--Barnaby's not just acting loopy and strange from the medicine, it's bringing something out. Just like what happened between them in the elevator, when Barnaby looked considerably more in control of his words and actions.
He doesn't know the real extent of it, and maybe he won't until Barnaby is more sober, more ready to talk. But for now, Kotetsu thinks, he's asking for what he wants, and Kotetsu wants to give that to him.
He reaches out to slip his fingers around Barnaby's wrist and brings his partner's hand up, and before he can talk himself out of it he presses his lips softly to Barnaby's palm, and wills his hands to keep steady as he leans his cheek into Barnaby's open hand.
"I asked Agnes if I could stay with you, you know? I wanted to be here. I wouldn't let her make me leave the hospital either." He can only think of one thing right now--making sure Barnaby knows he wants to be here, wants to help take care of him, wants to make him feel happy and loved. "I want to stay, too, if that's okay. I won't go anywhere. You have me." And he smiles down at Barnaby, soft and caring even though his brows are a little furrowed, a little sad, at the thought of Barnaby feeling like he has no one.
"Oh… Thank you. For staying with me." Barnaby's thumb strokes over Kotetsu's cheek gently. He smiles, warm and hazy and gentle. "I'm sleepy...will you lay down with me until I fall asleep? It might be a little boring for you to lay here but I'll go to sleep quick, I promise."
"Of course I will, Bunny, I'm happy to," he beams, and pulls the covers up over Barnaby. They're not neatly made on the bed--in their rush to make it to the call this morning, he guesses, Barnaby didn't have time--so it's easy to pull them up over Barnaby. Then he crawls over to lie just a bit higher up on the pillows than Barnaby, and offers his partner his side. "You can take as long as you need, okay? We can nap together."
It takes only a few moments for Barnaby’s breathing to slow, and for him to slip off into sleep. And he stays that way for a couple of hours, curled up--as much as he can be, with his injuries--against his partner.
-----
As Kotetsu drifts back into consciousness, he doesn't need to open his eyes to hear the change in Barnaby's breathing--his partner is definitely awake.
He scrunches his nose up and yawns before his eyes flutter open, and Barnaby's looking right at him. They're still close, and Kotetsu imagines they probably didn't move from how they fell asleep, aside from Barnaby having seemingly scooted back a bit from waking up and giving his stomach a little room.
"Oh, morning," Kotetsu says with a still-sleepy smile. "Afternoon? Evening?"
"Evening. Looks like it's about 5:30? 6ish?" Barnaby says, sounding much more like his usual self. He winces, shifting in bed in a feeble attempt to get comfortable. "I feel like I was hit by a truck." Worse. He was hit by a bomb, basically. His meds must have definitely worn off then, Kotetsu thinks.
"Thanks for sticking around to take care of me. I appreciate it. I don't know if I could've managed by myself. They've got me on strong stuff."
"Of course," Kotetsu says, reaching up to run his fingers through his own hair and propping himself up on an elbow. "Besides, I wanted to," Kotetsu repeats, in case Barnaby's forgotten their earlier conversation. "I probably owe Agnes a big one." He winces. That's not a position you really want to be in.
"Do you want some more medicine? I'd imagine that," he gestures down, "Hurts pretty bad still. Even when you were on the medicine you were still hurting."
"God, yeah. It really hurts. I mean. I guess that makes sense. I just. Don't think I've been hurt this bad before. I'm pretty careful, you know?" That’s certainly the truth. Kotetsu’s usually the one who walks away with the injuries between the who of them.
"...hey...uh, I...you know I keep things pretty close to the chest." Barnaby says, stumbling uncharacteristically over his words. "So, uh. Sorry if I've been. Saying anything super...revealing. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I just. Don't have a lot of control over it--"
Kotetsu looks at Barnaby as he says this, but keeps reaching for the bag and the 'homophobic' water. He looks down to pull out the correct dosage then, and he can feel the tips of his ears burning a little.
So he was right. Barnaby had been letting something out before, and he didn't really remember what happened.
"You didn't say anything that made me uncomfortable," he says, frowning at how ambiguous that sounds. He reaches out to hand Barnaby the medicine, but he lets his hand linger over Barnaby's, squeezes it gently, moves it til it sits a few inches away from Barnaby's hand. "Don't worry, I know you just didn't have control over stuff, but--"
Kotetsu bites his lip before he continues. "You wanted to curl up together on the bed, and you wanted to...--It's okay. With me, if you need that kind of thing from me. I wouldn't push you away."
That's about as close as he can get to a confession right now, it feels like, and it's still vague and timid because he really doesn't want to screw up what they have.
"Just because I need something from you doesn't mean you should feel obligated to give it to me. I know you like to think of others' needs before your own, but I think in the case of something like this...you shouldn't force yourself to do things just to make someone else happy. I'll be angry at you if I find out you were just placating me against your own wishes."
Barnaby still sounds a little strained as he takes the water from Kotetsu, struggling even now to get it open. He's weak from the surgery still--but without the drugs on board and the initial seal broken, he's able to struggle it open with a grunt. Taking a sip sounds hard, and he coughs, whimpering quietly at the way he stomach spasms.
"I didn't give you anything I didn't want to," Kotetsu says, a hair above a murmur, and he suddenly finds his hands very interesting--aside from the worried look he shoots Barnaby when he coughs. "To tell you the truth I uh. I didn't give you some of the things you asked for that I did want to do."
He's nervous. He's so nervous because what if somehow he's still misreading this, what if Barnaby doesn't know what he means still or thinks he was taking advantage of his loopy state, and--
Fuck. He loves Barnaby so much and he knows he'd do anything he asked, but the thing is he wants to. He's not just doing this out of obligation.
It comes out all in one breath, and it leaves him feeling even more like the room is pressing in on his lungs:
"I was just worried that... you might ask me for something and I'd go too far by doing it. That you'd feel differently when the medicine wore off and I'd have... have... ruined this."
"...that was what you were worried about?" Barnaby mumbles, low and unsure. A hand rubs over his face and runs up into his hair, and he sighs, his other hand sliding across the mattress to find Kotetsu's hand without looking at him. Kotetsu couldn’t hold it against him--he feels too that it would be a bit too much to look at him right now. After a long moment, Barnaby speaks again.
"This isn't...this isn't just sex for either of us, is it?"
Kotetsu shouldn't be dilly-dallying with this when Barnaby's stomach is killing him, but he can't bring himself to look up and tell him to take his medicine. Barnaby is incredibly sober right now, and he's still saying this to Kotetsu. That he doesn't just want the sex anymore, he wants more, and--
It's a lot. Maybe he should have just kissed him before, because he really wants to still, he wants to know how it feels while they both know they don't need to be tumbling into bed for just the night together for it.
Kotetsu takes the hand offered to him, squeezes it. "No, I don't think it is. Was? It's not anymore, for sure but... I don't think it. Ever was just that for me."
His partner breathes out a wavering laugh, looking down again. "Me neither."
This whole time. This whole time, they've both been holding onto hope that this could be more. How stupid. How silly.
"When all this started...I thought I should just take what I can get from you. I didn't think you wanted more than that from me, or anyone," Barnaby says, fingers twitching in Kotetsu’s grip.
"Are you kidding me?" Kotetsu says, and it breaks the tension a little bit when he lets out his own shaky laugh in awe. "I thought the same thing, but because you've never really... showed interest in someone before, I thought maybe this was all you'd want from someone?"
But now he realizes, putting the pieces together backwards in his head, Barnaby has shown interest in someone, and he's sitting right next to them. Him. Countless miniature details arrange themselves into a big neon sign that spells out "duh" in his brain.
Kotetsu takes this moment to glance up at Barnaby and he presses his lips into a little line as he says, "Before--when you were getting sleepy--you said that... you wanted me to kiss you...? And that I should, um. Do that when I want to." Kotetsu's heart is beating fast and it makes him feel a little dizzy when he looks at Barnaby again. "So I... May I...?"
"Uh." Barnaby’s face begins to flush, and Kotetsu berates himself a bit mentally for what he’s just said. God, he really just asked for a kiss like that? Outright?
But then, Barnaby’s looking right back at him again and saying, "Of course. I-- please. "
He moves closer, crawling further into the bed until he's sitting face to face with Barnaby, putting his hand on his partner's cheek this time and leaning in. He stops a bit short, searches Barnaby's eyes, and then closes the gap to kiss him softly, sweetly.
It's not their first kiss. But to Kotetsu, it kind of feels like it is--it's certainly their first kiss as something more than just ‘partners with benefits’ or whatever they have been recently, so he figures that counts.
It counts because of the wave of warmth that floods through him, the way his senses seem to short out as he focuses on how Barnaby feels against him now, the quiet noise of their lips parting before he moves back in for a firmer one, the little sigh he breathes out between kisses. He wonders if Barnaby feels it, too--the warm, soothing rush of relief that washes over his whole body as they kiss. The tight ball of nerves in the pit of his stomach like a school age boy receiving a first confession.
Kotetsu receives his answer in the way Barnaby giggles quietly into it, and the goosebumps that rise on his skin. This isn't a lusty, messy makeout of two people that want to get to the main event. This is a loving, gentle, 'I'm sorry for letting you think I didn't want anything serious for so long' kiss.
And it feels nothing short of fucking incredible.
Kotetsu pulls back first, reluctant but in need of a real breath between their kisses, and he drops his head a bit, resting their foreheads together, and a giggle that rivals Barnaby's own from a moment ago bubbles from his chest.
"We... we were sleeping together for so long and we had no idea," he explains, eyes flickering up to look at Barnaby's again, and he realizes it's closer than he's ever been. He can see a hint of hazel, a ring around Barnaby's pupil and flecks in that vibrant green.
He rubs his thumb against Barnaby's cheek, like his partner did for him before, and goes in again.
He knows Barnaby will need to take his medicine very soon, though, and pulls away to remind him. "We should probably get your medicine in you before we throw off the timing of your doses."
"Yeah, yeah, I'll take it. At least now I don't have to worry about accidentally spilling the beans that I'm in love with you or something--"
Kotetsu beams at him, and, mindful of his injury, leans in to wrap his arms around Barnaby.
"I love you too, Bunny," he says, and kisses his partner’s reddened cheek gently and then his lips again. It feels so, so good to finally say. "I don't think we got in enough cuddling while you were awake before," he explains, as if Barnaby were going to question it.
He doesn't let Barnaby forget the medicine, though he does offer to grab the rest of their food from earlier as an extra incentive if Barnaby likes.
"Mm, I think you're right. We'll have to do more now that I'm up again." He thinks for a moment. "...I do actually kind of want the cheeseburgers. Um. Heat them up, maybe?" Reaching for the bottle of pills from the bedside table makes Barnaby flinch--Kotetsu imagines his stomach does not like when he twists that way--but he manages to grab it, struggling with the child proof cap for way too long. "Thank you for that, by the way. Getting extra ones was a good call."
"Definitely," he says, because he can't imagine eating those cold burgers right now. When Barnaby grimaces, his hands are automatically reaching up to grab him in case something happens.
Then, he's getting up, rolling his neck on his way to the kitchen. He heats up their food in Barnaby's microwave and puts it on two plates, and grabs a few more bottles of water from the fridge--alcohol was an absolute no-go while Barnaby was on the medicine, and Kotetsu figures it wouldn't be quite the same drinking alone with him tonight.
Kotetsu sidles himself in beside Barnaby, hands him his plate, and wraps his now-free arm around him. "Two plates of happy yellow," he says, grinning. "That's what you called them earlier."
Barnaby makes a confused face as he downs his medication, taking a sip of water.
"Happy...yellow? What are you talking about? That doesn't sound like me at all."
"You weren't having the best time with words. Oh, you also threatened our cab driver about not trusting horses and you also called me Prince Charming a few times," he counts them off on his fingers melodramatically, grinning like a dork. "It was adorable. Oh! And you haven't even heard about the hospital!"
"Oh my God I'm afraid to ask." Barnaby buries his warm, flushed face in his hands. "Prince Charming? Seriously? I guess my feelings were that obvious..."
"Mhm," he says, leaning against Barnaby despite his partner's embarrassment. "But don't worry! You asked if it was okay since you're not a princess, so... I suppose that should have been obvious and I still didn't get it." He pokes some fun at himself now, opens the door for Barnaby to do the same about how oblivious he is.
"You really didn't get it through your thick skull after all that?" Barnaby scoffs a laugh, emerging from behind his hands with a smug look on his face. "Geez, and I thought you were an idiot before --...did I, uh. Was there. Anything else?..."
"Well," Kotetsu comes down from laughing, and remembers the biggest thing from the hospital. "When you woke up, you uh. Cried because you said I was hot." He gives Barnaby a moment to process that, and then continues, "And asked if I was your... boyfriend...?"
Which now, he actually kind of wants to know the answer to, honestly, because this is definitely new in their relationship, and he imagines they're probably going to be giving it a proper name, right?
"Well, I mean--...you are, right?" Barnaby’s eyes look pleading and maybe even a little afraid when Barnaby whips his head around to look at his partner.
"I know we've never...talked about it until now, but, I always felt like we acted like it in every way except the title...so after everything..."
"I mean--yeah, I'd like that? I don't know, I always kind of figured since we didn't really... do things--kissing, things like that--outside of just sex that maybe boyfriends wasn't something I could call us?"
He reaches out to grasp one of Barnaby's hand in his, pouring as much affection and comforting as he can into his expression and the hold he has on Barnaby. And then, he leans in, shortening the distance between their faces, and says with the most serious, reverent voice he can muster, "I want to be your Prince Charming."
"........Pft. Pfthfhfh. Haha! Hahaha!" Barnaby attempted, Kotetsu can tell. He really did, but he's burst out laughing anyway, leaning forward and burying his face in Kotetsu's shoulder to muffle the sound. Even restrained, he sounds so full of joy. "That's the dumbest thing I ever--AHAHAH!! AHAH! GOD!!"
Barnaby's laugh fills his heart with warmth, and Kotetsu pulls him in with eager, receptive arms, even though he makes a pouty "hmph" noise. "I was just trying to be romantic," he says, stifling his own laugh as he reaches up to wildly ruffle Barnaby's sleep-tousled hair in mock revenge.
"It was, it was." Barnaby's still laughing, though, and Kotetsu relishes in the feeling of holding him like this. "You're such a dork. I--hey!! Watch the hair!! That's my only charm point when I'm weak and injured like this!"
Kotetsu turns and presses a kiss near the back of Barnaby's neck, and the hair tickles his nose. "I wouldn't say it's your only charm point. You've got quite a way with words when you're medicated, you know." He laughs, and prepares himself for Barnaby to shove him away playfully. It doesn’t happen though, because Barnaby seems just as content to stay the way Kotetsu is holding him now as he takes a bite of food.
"I don't know why I'm craving cheeseburgers so bad today. They're really hitting the spot. I don't even eat burgers very often."
While Barnaby moves to eat more, Kotetsu shifts around to wrap his arm further around Barnaby, tugging him to lean against him. He eats a few of the fries--they're okay, a little cold already, but he already finished his mayonnaise-covered burger.
"You were pretty adamant," he chuckles fondly, remembering Barnaby's pout in the hospital. "You even dropped a few f-bombs back there. If there's something else in particular you want tomorrow just let me know though, okay?"
"Mm. You're good to me." Barnaby’s starting to slow as he eats, posture drooping even further after eating for a while, and by the time his cheeseburger is done, he's being a little extra cuddly with Kotetsu. "Thanks again for taking care of me like this..." He says it slowly, like it takes a second longer to process than it should. "I'm... Really glad you stayed. You seemed tense in there, a bit."
Kotetsu knows it's obvious he doesn’t like hospitals. But Barnaby is thanking him for staying. He nudges their plates away to another corner of Barnaby's comically large bed to make more room for his boyfriend (a thought that sends its own little wave of warmth through him) to lean against him.
"Of course, Bunny, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else if you were hurting! And yeah, you're right that hospitals aren't exactly... my favorite place to be but it didn't matter, ya know? Wasn't gonna let that stop me from being here," he says, and rubs Barnaby's arm with the hand on his partner's shoulder.
What he doesn’t say is that he was so scared, even though they said Barnaby would be okay. Kotetsu didn't want to be wrong--he didn't want to leave. And now, he doesn’t want to leave Barnaby’s side any more than he needs to.
"It's okay. I was with you the whole time," Barnaby says, and that makes Kotetsu smile. It’s comforting in its own way. "You smell so nice. All the time."
Ah. Those pills. They’re definitely kicking in.
"I smell nice?" Kotetsu grins, burying his nose in Barnaby's hair again. "That's funny, I'd say the same about you. Especially your hair."
He's allowed to touch now, so he lets his fingers trail up Barnaby's side to gently touch his curls. They're so soft, light despite their messiness.
Barnaby hums softly. "What is your favorite place to be?"
"I think my favorite place right now would have to be right here," Kotetsu says surely, and kisses his cheek.
"God, you're so cute. You're the sweetest, most romantic man in the whole world."
(Kotetsu chuckles at that. He imagines if someone told Barnaby when they met that he'd be so disgustingly smitten someday, Barnaby would have probably punched them in the face.)
"You're my favorite place too."
Kotetsu feels his face warm sweetly at that, ducking down to press his head to Barnaby's shoulder, and then--
"Hey, you should call Kaede and ask her how she feels about things. She strikes me as a man of culture."
--Kotetsu’s mind races a bit. How is he going to tell Kaede about this? 'Oh hi honey! How are you, good, by the way daddy's dating your idol, have a good dinner!'
"Hmm. Maybe you should be there for that, don't you think? Just in case she wants to say hi?" More like, in case she asks a million questions and he needs Barnaby's level headedness to help him--a quality Barnaby definitely doesn't possess right now.
"Oh, sure! I want to see her again. She's so cute. She looks just like you. And you’re so cute." Barnaby reaches a hand up to poke Kotetsu’s nose with a laugh. His finger slips off the tip of his nose, just a bit, landing on his partner's face an inch or two under his eye instead.
Kotetsu chuckles at Barnaby's difficulty controlling his hand, and reaches up to place his own over it. "She looks a lot like both me and Tomoe, people say." He kisses the palm of Barnaby's outstretched hand.
Barnaby continues spouting his every thought, unfazed. "So cool I can just say I love you now. I'm such a good secret keeper. I bet you didn't know at all."
"It is really nice," Kotetsu agrees. It's like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders, and he hasn't even felt the need (yet?) to lament the fact that they could have apparently been doing this for so long before now. He's just too happy. "I had no clue, Bunny, you're the best secret keeper. Maybe aside from me!" He grins, winks as he finishes with the joke. He's still a bit surprised it took so long to come out, that he was able to conceal it for so long.
"I don't know how you did it. You're such a sap. But I thought you didn't feel the same way this whooooOOOOOle time!" Barnaby frowns, pouty and exaggerated, at the thought. "I bet if I gave Kaede a cheeseburger, she'd like me. Do you think so? My tummy hurts."
"Well, you won't have to worry about that anymore, because I love you," he says, and it's practically oozing affection--how could the novelty of saying this, and hearing it back, ever wear off?
His boyfriend has an adorable pout, although it kind of makes him want to pull him close, kiss him until he has no reason to pout anymore.
"I think Kaede will love anything you give her. She's one of your biggest fans, you know! I'm sure she would love to meet you," he continues, and god if that isn't the understatement of the century.
"Oh good. I want her to like me." Barnaby admits, looking genuinely relieved. "I have to make a good impression. So she knows I'm serious. I love you too!!!" He responds, very delayed.
His heart feels so warm and hopeful and happy when Barnaby says that, the way he felt when his partner first said "I love you" (although, without the freezing moment of "what do I say?" that quickly followed, since Barbaby was still high). "I'm sure you will, baby," he says gently, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind Barnaby's head as his partner starts talking again.
"My darling! My Kotetsu! You're so sweet. Can't wait until my tummy stops hurting. I probably can't have sex with you until then. But I wanna!"
He's staring, and though the bluntness doesn't faze him so much anymore while Barnaby is like this, the subject does a little, and then he's laughing through a big smile, leaning in to kiss Barnaby's lips again because it's already been too long and he has an adorable boyfriend.
"My Bunny," he says, only a hair's breadth away. "You're right, though, I don't wanna hurt you more, and plus you're still pretty loopy. But, maybe after..."
"Mmm. You say such sweet things." He pecks his boyfriend's lips again with a warm, relaxed smile. "You better wreck me when I'm better, okay?"
The kiss is soft and sweet, and he starts to smile back before Barnaby opens his mouth again, and then, Kotetsu chokes on nothing. He should have realized sooner that Barnaby's bluntness when it came to talking about sex plus the looseness of his speech in this state could lead to him saying something like this, but it still catches him off guard.
"I'll... try?" He says, a mixture of awe and laughter, and cheeks red as he scrambles to find a quippy answer. "But only in a good way. We don't need you getting hurt again, after all."
Barnaby pouts, exaggerated. "I'll be fiiiiine...I shoulda known you were in love with me. You were doing boyfriend shit ALL THE TIME… Friends with benefits don't do the stuff you do. I guess I just thought you were just being you? Caring way too much about other people when you don't have to and meddling?"
"Oh, Bunny," he says, leans back in to kiss him again, softer, lingering and slow. "I haven't wanted to do this for someone in a long time," he admits. "Any of it. The sex, the kissing, the... all of it. But with you I realized bit by bit that I wanted to take care of you after, or kiss you again even though we were done, ya know?" He scratches the back of his neck thoughtfully, and smiles at him. "You're special to me, Bunny! That's why."
Barnaby stares at him for a second too long--almost as if he didn't hear what was said, or at least, couldn't process it. But his eyes fill up with tears suddenly, and it becomes evident that he heard and understood it well.
(And how many time has he cried now? Kotetsu thinks to himself.)
"You're. I'm… special? Yeah?" Barnaby sniffles, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his arm hastily. "You're special too. To me. I." He looks like a vulnerable, teary, wide-eyed mess, and he's chewing on his lip as he tries to think of something more to say. "You're the happiest."
A pause.
"The happiest thing I see. All day."
It doesn't logically make much sense, and yet it does somehow, and it has Kotetsu pulling Barnaby carefully into his lap and squeezing his arms around his partner's shoulders.
"I know what you mean," he says, and laughs because high Barnaby says the sweetest things in the strangest ways. "Me too."
He holds them there for a long moment before he pulls back to cup Barnaby's wet cheeks with his hands. "Say, Bunny, what do you want to do tonight? Anything you want, I imagine we're not going to bed for a while, yeah?"
Barnaby sniffs, relaxing into his touch. "...movie? Maybe? Or a game? Am I going to be better soon? I don't like not being able to do stuff. Especially now. I wanna do everything with you over again. Because it’s different as boyfriends."
"Of course, Bunny! We can make a list if you want to?" He figures loopy Barnaby would love sitting down and telling him everything (and of course he'll write them all down because he loves him and wants to do everything with him).
"We just have a few more days of medicine to get through, and you still might hurt a bit, but not so bad you need to take this stuff." Kotetsu stretches his legs out, grabs their empty plates. "I'll go get your computer, okay? Just stay in bed, baby, I'll be right back."
He sets the dishes in the sink--he'll scrub the minute amount of mess off of them tomorrow sometime--and brings Barnaby's computer back in with him.
"You'll have to help me set it up, though, I'm uh... a little hopeless when it comes to this stuff," he chuckles sheepishly.
"Mmm, it's mostly wireless. Even you can't mess it up." He grins, wide and playful. "S'a hologram. The screen. I make it big when I'm alone here. I'll make it big so we can see the movie." With a not-so-precise hand, he clumsily finds the right combination of presses to recalibrate to the new space.
"Aaaaand here we go!!"
Instead of pulling up his folder of movies, it seems Barnaby has opened a folder of pictures, and they're opening up all along his wall. Pictures of Kotetsu, mostly, with a few scattered images of them together. Kotetsu makes up the majority though. Barnaby laughs a little.
"Ahh. Whoops! Wrong one!"
Kotetsu grabs his hand carefully before Barnaby can change the screen, and looks up in awe. There he and Barnaby are in their first appearance as a real duo--over here, a photo of him twirling the phone cord around his finger at work and laughing--several Hero TV screenshots, as if Barnaby rewatched the episodes, and maybe he did? Kotetsu stares for another moment before he says anything.
"Oh, Bunny, what is all this? What, you have a favorite hero or something?" He turns back to his partner, lips quirking up as a fond curiosity paints his face.
"Oh, this?" It's only now that he's pressed that Barnaby looks even remotely sheepish about it. His face flushes a bit, and he smiles, rubbing at the back of his neck with his free hand. "Uh. Well. I'm a...I don't know, I collect pictures and information about people and things. My folder on my parents is huge. I just--I've had...feelings. For a while. So, I collected these, I guess. Over time. I hope you don't think I'm a weirdo."
Kotetsu kind of picks up what Barnaby means, he thinks. Barnaby is kind of like him that way. He holds onto whatever he can. Before he can voice this, Barnaby continues for him.
"I just...like to keep pictures. You never know. You never know. You just. Don't."
As Kotetsu sinks back onto the bed, he does three things.
The first is that he remembers the way Barnaby cradled that family photo so preciously when they watched the Mayor's child. That night, Barnaby had opened up to Kotetsu in a way he never had before--it was easy then to see why Barnaby wanted to hold onto that photo more than anything else.
The second is that Kotetsu thinks to the framed photos in his own apartment. He knows the ache too well himself--the pain of having something you always expected to have ripped away from you, the growing empty feeling inside when it hasn't even hit you that they're not coming back. The frantic search for any little scrap remaining, the guilt for not having left yourself more to hold onto.
The third is that he sinks back further onto the bed beside Barnaby, silently wraps his arms around him, and makes him a promise. "I won't let that happen, Bunny. I'll be here every day, you won't just have pictures, okay? I promise." It's a bit of an unexpectedly heavy sentiment, he knows, because it's only something he can promise to do his best at, but he doesn't care right now because all he wants to do is hold Barnaby and to make him feel safe, to let him know he's going to do what he can to make sure this never happens to Barnaby again.
"Besides," he says, lips pressing gently against Barnaby's neck as he speaks. "You're not getting rid of me any time soon. Even if you /tried/, I'm still your partner, right? We always look out for each other."
“Aww. You're such a cute bullshitter." Barnaby laughs, sounding sincere, even though the meaning behind his words is achingly sad. "There's no way you can know that...but..." He trails off, as if he's forgotten what he was going to say, and instead stares at the photos in front of them for a moment.
"Maybe I can't know that for sure, but no one really can. That's the difference though--you and I understand it, right?" He's rambling a little, holding Barnaby as close as he can, even if it's careful and restrained because of Barnaby's stomach. "And we're still holding on to what we can."
You're still letting me in, trusting me even if you've had reasons not to let people in before. That's special to me. You're important to me too.
He leans into his partner's arms with a small, relieved exhale. "...I can still keep these though, right? Even if you plan on sticking around?"
He smiles at the question, and pulls back to kiss his boyfriend again, and the novelty of being able to do that is still fresh and incredible. "I don't mind at all," Kotetsu says, "As long as you let me help add pictures of us to your collection."
"Us. That's such a nice word." A giggle bubbles up out of him as he steals another lingering kiss with a quiet, contented hum. "Of course you can. We'll take plenty. Whenever we do something new together, we can take pictures, okay? And we'll keep them. And we can show them someday." Barnaby does not specify who they're showing these to someday. There's a wistful, far-off look on his face now, as if he’s imagining showing this pictures to...someone, in an unspecified amount of time.
"Hah. Mister Maverick is gonna kill me!"
Kotetsu feels a little twinge of nerves as Barnaby says this--of course they were going to have to tell him, not only as their CEO but as Barnaby's guardian. Shit, was he going to have to do the whole meet-the-parents dinner with Maverick? What if the man didn't approve of him for Barnaby and split them up at work? Could he split them up in real life? It's not like Barnaby wasn't his own person, though, and even if he disapproved, he couldn't really tell Barnaby to drop him, right?
"Kill... you?" He says, and it comes out as jittery as he suddenly feels. "Do you think he wouldn't... approve?"
Of me? Of us? Of this?
Barnaby tenses a little. Talking about this is a bit sobering, Kotetsu imagines, and Barnaby talks slowly as if choosing his words very carefully. More carefully than he's chosen anything he's said in the past hour.
"You know him. He's...business oriented. He thinks in approval ratings and figures. I...came out to him when I was a teenager. He told me if I wanted to be pro, I better keep it to myself. That I don't have the benefit of owning my own company like Fire Emblem, and that if I want to be considered sponsor-friendly, I should keep that kind of thing to myself. He said I'd be more popular among viewers if female fans thought of me as 'accessible' to them. A 'heartthrob' or whatever. He said that sells better, with a look like mine. And I guess he's not wrong about that--I've had a lot of women approach me in the street, and a lot of the interviews I give are about what my ideal date looks like or what I look for in a woman or something so I guess that angle really works for me--it just...isn't. True. It isn't me. And it's not like I could just date in private. He pushed me not to have a secret identity in the first place, so I don't have anonymous off-hours where I can do what I please and then lie on the clock. He's only ever said I'd 'figure it out somehow' when I asked how I was supposed to keep it to myself and still have a life. It's been pretty exhausting. The last thing he probably wanted was for me to fall in love with my partner that I'm on TV with every day."
It's a lot to take in, but he supposes that makes sense from a business standpoint as he mulls it over. Kotetsu can't help but feel a strong twinge--okay, maybe more than a twinge--of frustration at how Barnaby's been set up not to be able to really have that off-the-clock time to really explore what he wants to--especially now that his parents' death has been more or less avenged. It's not fair, he thinks, that his partner's been pushed to keep this part of him a secret, to actively suppress it.
He doesn't say that right now, because maybe he is pushing it a bit when Barnaby might not remember telling him this thanks to the medicine, so instead he grips onto that hand again. "That's true, but... I'll be here with you the whole time, okay? No matter what. We'll figure this out together."
Then, because he thinks they could both use it after everything today he crawls to sit behind Barnaby, splays his legs on either side of him and gently guides him to lie back against his chest as he says, "How about that movie, then, Bunny? I'll let you pick anything you want! I'm guessing nothing with horses." He teases a bit, hopes that helps dispel some of the tension of that they've been talking about.
" Fuck no! God, they are WAY too big. And those big black eyes? They don't care about me. They don't care about anyone. All they care about is oats, and they would gladly watch everything burn. They don't care."
"I guess I can see that," he says, and rests his chin on top of his boyfriend's head. "When we were kids one time, Muramasa got kicked by one. It was pretty awful, he had to go to the doctor and everything." He chuckles dryly. It had not been a fun time in the Kaburagi household, and for a brief moment he warms at the thought of Barnaby and Muramasa having some common ground to talk about when he brings Barnaby home, and--
When? When. Definitely when.
"Horses hate mice, don't they? We can watch a mouse movie."
That's elephants, Bunny. You're thinking of elephants. Kotetsu doesn’t say it, though.
"I don't know. What kind of movies do you like? I don't think we've ever sat down and watched stuff like this before..."
"Sure, baby, we can watch a mouse movie if you want?" Kotetsu laughs, because he doesn't have the heart to correct him or tell him no.
"Eh, as for me, I guess... I watch a lot of action movies?" Mr. Legend reruns. "I like comedies though, and I've seen my fair share of scary movies, romance flicks, stuff like that. I'm not really picky." Not picky aside from the fact that he doesn't really care for horror movies, but he'd stomach them for Barnaby. "What are you in the mood for, though?"
"No horror. My day was bloody enough." Barnaby quips, leaning his head back to smile up at his partner. "I usually go for action but...not today."
Then, he furrows his brow in thought. "Romomedy."
"Romomedy sounds nice," Kotetsu says humoringly, leaning in to kiss the side of Barnaby's head. "Let's do that. Your pick? Not sure if you have a favorite."
Surprisingly, the subject of Barnaby's favorite romantic comedy has never come up before.
"I don't. I never watch those. So I guess it's your pick. I don't know what I'm looking at. If you let me pick, I'll just choose whichever leading man is the hottest."
That gets a warm, bubbly laugh out of Kotetsu. "Fair," he says, squeezing Barnaby again. In a bit he can get up to grab them something small to tide them over while they watch, but for now, he doesn't really want to let Barnaby go. Call him clingy, paranoid, he doesn't care. It's been a hell of a day, with highs and lows, and a lighthearted movie that could only ever dream of depicting something half as perfect as what he has right now? Sounds like the perfect way to end the day.