Chapter Text
When I awaken I feel.. Damp. That was odd. Did I perhaps spill my water bottle while I was sleeping, or while icing an ache did I forget to throw the ice bag off my bed. I did that quite frequently that waking up in a damp patch was not unlikely or weird. Just annoying. I shift around and yet I’m still soggy, with a groan I sit up and open my eyes blearily blinking away the sleep in my eyes. It’s very bright and takes my eyes some time to adjust before I realize, not only am I not in my bed, I’m not in a house at all! I was outside in the snowy woods, how the fuck? Before this, I had been in my house with my family in suburban Alberta in July! It’s impossible for me to even be here.
Did my friends plan this, is this some elaborate prank? Fuck. Snow is not unlikely in July in Alberta but it’s seldom probable and it was definitely never cold enough for the snow to get this deep. I’ve never seen snow this deep in Alberta anyway, it’s to my knees and I’m not short! I’m nearly 6ft tall! I must be dreaming, I look around and force myself to my feet.
I’m bloody fucking naked… And holy mother of Christ. There are scales all over my knees… And my elbows! I run my fingers along them and try to dig my nails underneath them to dig them out. They’re not glued on and the act of tugging at them makes my skin hurt, I feel as though I'm pulling at callouses. They’re beautiful, similar to the Hivernal dragon from Dragon Age! Okay, okay this is a dream definitely. I run my hand through my hair and it’s just as short and curly as it should be, I was growing it out back in the waking world but it used- Why the fuck am I not freezing!? It’s snowy and I’m not wearing anything. It’s not even affecting me, I feel average. I guess because it’s a dream my body wouldn’t respond the way it’s supposed to… But what about the pain I was feeling when I pulled at my scales, can you even feel pain when you dream? I’ll have to google it.
I shake my head and look around I need to find something to cover myself, although because this is a dream it shouldn’t matter as much, I hate my body and it’s still there even if it’s a dream. If only I could’ve dreamed myself skinny!
These woods don’t really look like any I’ve ever been to in the waking world, I wonder if they’re an amalgamation of woods I’ve seen combined with stuff from video games. I see a statue of a wolf peeking out from some brambles, reminds me of Dragon Age, I had been reading about it quite a bit lately. I crouch and pull the brush away, the statue is about to my waist and has swirly, mossy engravings in it. I press a kiss to the statue and continue on my way.
As I pad through the snow, my feet sinking into the snow, melting it from the sheer warmth I radiate, I leave little holes of the forest floor in my wake as I trek through the wintery woods. The dark bark has faces of lichen growing on them, I run my fingers along the rough surface as I walk deeper into the woods.
These woods are quite beautiful, the winter birds chirp and, my ears are so surprisingly sensitive I can hear the woodland creatures skittering about. I see a fox and gasp as it chases a, very bald rabbit… That’s a nug! They run right by me as if it doesn’t bother them at all that I’m there as if I’m another creature of the forest. This dream is so… Realistic, usually my dreams bounce all over the place and stick to current events, very rarely do I dream of fandoms and when I do it’s typically for mere moments before I bounce somewhere else. Maybe this isn’t a dream the traitorous voice whispers in my head. I roll my eyes chastising myself for such silly thoughts.
As I’m roaming I hear a snap of twigs, my head whips around and my body seems to pause on instinct, I go completely still and watch as a deer -or… Halla, my brain supplies- picks it’s way through the underbrush, stepping slowly and deliberately, it seems to not have noticed me yet. I crouch down among the twigs, my scales that dust my body and the soft beige of my skin blends in with the surroundings. Something… Primal clicks in me and the part of me that makes me, me slides away for just a moment. Suddenly I am prowling, sliding towards the cautious animal and in a blur, I am pouncing, not where the Halla is but where it will be. I bite it’s neck savagely and I realize my teeth are sharp and jagged much like the dragon that I share scales with, it’s difficult to hold on but I manage a fine enough grip, my nails are sharper than usual and I feel as though I'm a raptor, downing my prey.
I come back to myself, covered in blood and in front of the carcass, the pelt is relatively clean. I won’t be able to preserve it as I normally would when I went hunting with my Grandfather but I could indeed use it for now until the furs petrified or I found some salt. Although I guess I don’t really need to worry about that because I’m dreaming but I will clean it so it doesn’t smell bad.
I spend hours cleaning the deer carcass before I decide to eat. To my disgust, the new primal side of me screams at me to just… Bite the damn thing. I don’t even build a fire I just tear into it and devour the raw flesh. Logically it’s gross but my hindbrain doesn’t care and to be honest, the blood tastes good. After cleaning the pelt I hang it over a low hanging branch on a nearby tree.
I feast until I can no longer, leaving very little behind. The deer sustain me for the day and the primal urges hide underneath my typical mind and I leave the bones for the birds.
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Time starts to move forward and I begin to think I am not dreaming. Which causes me to panic. I spend weeks in these woods, wrapped in the Halla pelt as I wander, killing various creatures when hungry. I have yet to find civilization but to be quite honest I’m a bit afraid to. If I meet people, they will either react in an illogical way and I’ll know I’m dreaming or they’ll be terrified and kill me. And sure maybe a week or two ago I would’ve gladly accepted that chance, but there’s too much doubt in my mind that this is real and I’m dreaming.
I sleep buried in the snow, the pelt keeps my natural body heat from melting the snow but also keeps me somewhat dry. Regardless I’ve gotten used to waking up soggy. I’ve been practicing my apocalypse prepping skills. I tracked down a fresh spring that had a salt deposit near it, it was difficult to procure but it made my tanning much more effective, it’d preserve the skin and make it last longer. I had to kill another Halla for this but honestly, it was worth it. I stay near the spring because it keeps me hydrated and animals are attracted to it.
When I do leave the spring area, it's to wander or it's to bathe or use the bathroom, I miss toilet paper a lot. You don't wanna know what I do instead. I don't shit where I eat and especially where I drink. I may look like a beast but I certainly don't act like one.
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I replay vines in my mind when I’m bored, or feeling lonely. I never had many friends, to begin with so memes were my only friends. I would watch vine compilations when I was feeling down, now I have them committed to memory. I'm 35 and I still watch Vine's, although when Vine died I did too... I can't believe that's another thing I won't have anymore if this truly isn't a dream. Chocolate, Pizza... Earth herbs... VIETNAMESE FOOD! Oh lord what will I do?
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I believe I’ve somehow been transported to Thedas. I can no longer believe this is a dream. I’ve spent far too long here and it’s far too detailed to be a dream. I’m not even upset anymore I’m just resigned to it. But now I guess I need to do something about it right? Do what all those people from fanfiction do. The rift isn’t here yet so I can’t help with that and I don’t want to be anywhere near Kirkwall with my freaky scales. I also learned that I look like an elf, after peering into a pond that was frozen over like a mirror. My face is just as round and soft like the rest of my disgusting fucking body but now I also have long pointed ears that are covered with freckly scales much like my cheeks and my nose. My eyes are large, brown and have a slitted pupil like a predator, my lips are full but my mouth is full of sharp knives. I look like a chubby dragon hybrid. My ears twitch towards every sound and flick with emotion. I spent a lot of time fucking around in front of the pool, snarling and smiling and making silly faces. It was fun. But then I stood and caught a glimpse of my body and I stared for a long time. A tear rolled down my cheek. I rubbed my tears away. I’m too much. Why does it have to be the same? I’m disgusting. My stomach is too big, my thighs too wide. I squeeze the excess flesh and snarl. I’m awful, I can’t even look good in another world! I’m the fattest person in Thedas! I stumble backwards away from the pond and fall over tears rolling faster. I cry harder my body shaking, I feel so stupid, so dumb. A dumb random thing to make me react like this. I scrub at my face and drag the furs around my body to keep myself from seeing my flabby gross body.
After a moment, I calm down and stand up on shaking limbs and stumble away from the reflective pond. I don’t return to it.
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I’ve started making tools from rocks, (trying to make) thread from plant fibres. God. I hate this, I learned all this bull shit because I had been terrified of the apocalypse. Now I need it because I’ve been thrown into a universe where they don’t have automation anyway! Aside from like… Dwarven mechanics. I’m grateful that I learned this stuff but it’s so dumb that it’s useful now. I growl quietly to myself as I weaved fine thread, it’s nearly impossible my eyes aren’t as good here as they were back home. I traded my vision for impeccable hearing I suppose. I toss the thread into the air and lay in the snow and groan. It’s too hard I can’t do it. I’m just not good enough. My other endeavours aren’t quite as painful, my stone knives are good for skinning, I found a good blunt rock for hammering the salt deposits I live much like an early human did except with less early death… I hope.
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When I sleep I’ve started to wake up in what I assume is the Fade, I can’t think as to why. I don’t think I have magic, but whatever it’s fun to dream of my old world. Spirits edge around me watching as I create the wonders of my old world, none have approached me. I create my little bungalow from my childhood, sans my mother, I’m sitting with my feet in a brook, the fish nibble at my toes as my dog rests her head in my lap. I play my game boy, Pokemon red. I rub Marley’s head as she quietly sleeps. The forest around me is void of sound it’s uncanny, all I can hear is the brook and my dog huffing and puffing, she was a beautiful boxer mastiff mix, she came with me when I left. She passed away when I turned 20. I miss her but I wouldn’t trade for more time with her. She was there when I needed her, and left when I didn’t. She was wonderful.
I smile softly to myself as the scene shifts and I’m ripping down a road with my best friend, we’re blasting pop music, screaming at the top of our lungs as we speed down back roads like a little orange bullet. The trees whip by us and we drive through a railroad crossing, just before the bar falls, my eyes are round like dinner plates as I stare at her, she grins devilishly. We were both so impulsive, brash. It was great.
The scene shifts again, I’m eating at my favourite restaurant with my best friend. We’re celebrating. I just passed my written exam for becoming an EMT. We’re eating Vietnamese food and I’m crying tears of happiness while I chug watermelon bubble tea. I’m just so happy, and I realize I miss my best friend intensely. Will I ever return home? Will I ever see her again? She was the closest thing I had left of a family after I ran away from home at the age of 15. It’s been twenty years since then and she’s been in my life since the beginning. I was the Maid of Honor at her wedding. I decide to wake up now. I push myself out of the dream, away from my friend. This is the only time I can think of her.
When I awaken my wrists are bound. “I told ya, was no normal beast catchin’ all that game… Bloody fucking demon or summat..” A voice grumbles as I groggily pull myself from sleep, the panic of my bound wrists not quite enough to rouse me.
“Yea, Yea... I fockin’ get it, ya tit… Andraste’s tits don’tcha ever shut ur fockin gob?” A second voice inquires just as rough as the first one, their accents are certainly Fereldan. I snarl loudly, making my consciousness known as I try to wrench myself from my bondage.
“It’s awake, Calder sir… Afton… Fuck, look at those teeth,” A gangly teen says to the leader, a bear of a man with-if he hadn’t captured me- a rather impressive beard. He stares at me with dangerous eyes.
“Wotcher, beast!” The leader, Calder says. I stare at him murderously and he laughs.
“D’be pretty if it weren’t for that maw,” Afton, I assume says to my disgust.
“Let me go, I apologize for overhunting I’ll go someplace else. No need to do anything stupid..” I say quietly my voice is hoarse from lack of use.
The teen seems startled that I talk, the leader simply laughs a full-bodied laugh his body shaking with apparent mirth. “It can speak lads! It’s got some humanity to it,” Afton stares at me shrewdly. “Ya think maybe it’s a demon? Looks like something that fell from the demon hell… Ya know the shit the Chantry’s always preachin' ‘bout…?”
“Nah, mate… I Any temptation you’re feeling is your own perverse desire!” Calder laughs.
“I think it’s just an elf, using it’s weird elfy magic… And elves aren’t great for much but you know…” The teen says, face flushing. Calder squints at me and makes a nod of approval. “Could be right lad… Let’s carry it back to town… Let everyone else decide it’s fate…” I thrash violently in their grip trying to escape, Calder boots me hard in the head for my troubles. “Let me go!” I scream, my head throbs and my vision clouds for a minute as I try to squirm away with much less gusto than before. They lift me up and carry me effortlessly to a small little town near the edge of the Hinterlands. I don’t recognize it from the game but this clearly isn’t a video game things will be different. They drag me into town and throw me into a root cellar. Then all I know is darkness...