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Ryuji doesn't handle being lonely very well.
He's used to it, of course. He has a single mother who works to keep them afloat, and after the Kamoshida incident he's really been hurting for friends. He's alone, and it's a dull ache in his chest that never really goes away.
Akira is a damn blessing.
Yeah, they have to go through some fucked up shit to create their friendship, but it was so, so worth it. Nobody's ever had Ryuji's back like Akira does. He has no doubts that if he ever asked Akira to help him hide a body, he'd grab a shovel.
The track team were fair-weather friends.
Meanwhile, Akira once told him if he'd gone to jail over Kamoshida, it would have been worth it to get Ryuji some payback. Then he swayed sideways enough so that their shoulders bumped together.
So, yeah. Ryuji fucking loves Akira. He's the best and Ryuji never stops thinking about him.
It takes an embarrassing amount of time for him to realize that it might be something other than platonic bro-love.
He doesn't figure it out when he realizes making Akira laugh feels like more of an accomplishment than killing a shadow in one hit. He doesn't realize it when he starts getting a little thrill of delight when Akira's name shows up in his text notifications. He doesn't catch on when all he ever wants to do is touch his best friend, to lean on him and put an arm around his shoulders and slap him on the back.
No, because Ryuji's dumb lizard brain only processes feelings properly if something physical is involved. It's part of why he loved running so much, because it was whole body and simple and--
And he'll bum himself out if he thinks about things that used to give his life meaning that he can't do anymore.
Here's how it happens.
Ryuji bleaches his hair on Saturday night, just to clean up the roots. He's good at it, but it still dries out his scalp something awful, and when he goes to hang out with Akira the following day, he's an itchy mess. Akira, being perceptive as hell, notices.
"Come here," He says, pretty much out of nowhere. Ryuji has no reason to guess Akira's motives have to do with the way he's been scratching his head all day. Ryuji assumes he wants to show him some scene from the manga he's reading.
"Sit on the floor, please. With your back to me."
Akira's sitting on top of his bed. Ryuji is now officially lost.
"Uh... Sure. What're you doing, dude?"
"You'll see."
Well, Akira has never led him astray before, so Ryuji does what he's been asked, bringing his manga with him as he goes.
Almost immediately, Akira's hands are in his hair. Ryuji startles a little, but then Akira gently scratches his nails along Ryuji's irritated scalp. It isn't hard enough to make the situation worse, but it's plenty to send just the best kind of shivers through Ryuji's whole body. He melts immediately, dropping his head back against his friend's knees.
"Holy shit, that feels amazing," He says, letting his eyes close. Akira chuckles, but doesn't say anything. Ryuji relaxes into the attention. It feels good, and not just because of the itchy skin. It's also so openly, shamelessly affectionate, and Ryuji feels loved and wanted.
He belongs here.
After a few minutes of drifting on pure contentment, Ryuji notices Akira shift above him. He's probably just getting comfortable, really, but when Ryuji opens his eyes, Akira is leaning over him, almost like he's about to kiss him, upside-down. Like Spider-Man.
And it hits Ryuji like a sack of bricks that he wants Akira to kiss him.
Shit.