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Leonard blames Raymond. Raymond doesn’t say anything at all, because he’s stupid enough to think it’s not important. Or maybe he knows it’s important and that why he doesn’t say anything. Maybe he thinks it would get in the way of his being a hero, being a legend. Either way it’s far from smart, not to say a word.
It’s not smart and it gets on Len’s nerves because he didn’t notice. Not right away at least. There are the little things that Len doesn’t give too much thought to.
Like Palmer not listening unless Sara speaks or Rip gives him this glance. Then Palmer’s hanging at their every word, eyes focused. Sara, Len can understand. She’s a bit rough, but she’s smart under her instincts and every very now and then, when the mask of a strong killer falls she reminds Leonard of Lisa a little.
What Len can’t understand is why would anyone think that Hunter’s opinion is the right, important or interesting one, but Palmer is still staring at Hunter’s face like a loyal dog. It’s pathetic.
Leonard makes sure to mention that on several occasions, but every time Palmer just ignores him. The third time he says that to Palmer’s back and the third time Mick laughs at him, Len gives up. Palmer refuses to listen to reason just because of who the two of them are? Len will watch him burn and crash then. They don’t know Hunter, for all they know he could be some kind of time thief, not a hero like he claims.
Leonard is right. Not one hundred percent right, because Hunter seems to have some deluded hero like reasons behind his actions, but he still stole a time ship – which classifies him as a time thief for all he cares. Len’s prepared to gloat, but when he comes to the cargo bay, he finds Palmer bowed over the hand of his suit, his hands shaking and looking ready to cry. Len’s mouth closes before he can say anything, and he ignores the curious look Mick gives him, instead sitting down on one of the crates, his hand resting on the coldgun. He doesn’t kick already lying on the ground – not all the time at least. Mick rolls his eyes but joins him, using the spare time to clean his own gun, Len taught him well.
Sara comes in moments later and the four of them sit in silence, only disturbed by Palmer’s tinkering and Mick’s cleaning. It’s not until Palmer’s glove fires, that they speak.
“Hey watch it!” Mick yelps and Palmer’s eyes widen.
“Sorry. Sorry.” He says, his words wavering just a little as he looks down, before taking a deep breath. “What's the point of us even giving this a second thought? Rip has already seen the future.” He says after a while, his head snapping up and his voice wavering. He sounds almost desperate and… crushed. Len watches with more interest than he would like to admit.
“He knows exactly what's in store for each of us. Might as well have stayed dead, 'cause the world doesn't need any of us. You're just a lost assassin. You're just a pair of good-for-nothing criminals.”
Palmer is looking at them, as if hoping they would say it’s not so.
“I can live with that.” Mick smirks, more to show Palmer that he doesn’t care than anything else. Palmer doesn’t rise to the bait though, instead his gaze falls down and he looks sadder than ever before.
“Can't live with somebody putting a cap on my destiny.” He says quietly and Leonard leans his head to the side. That, Len can understand. The thought of his life being decided before he could plan anything that people in his life were decided to act this or that way. That his father was innocent in a long run. That he wasn’t cruel, and that he couldn’t help doing that to his daughter, because it was decided before he was even alive and he couldn’t do anything about that. Shifting responsibility like that.
No, Len doesn’t like that thought. It was his father decision, and Lewis paid for that.
“Spent my whole life working to be something greater by becoming something smaller. Then some guy comes along and tells me that being the Atom is as insignificant as an actual atom.” Palmer’s hands are trembling in his lap.
“That’s not what he said.” Sara points out. Palmer doesn’t lift his head though, not until she gets up and walks to him. And that, along with him ignoring Len’s comment altogether should be the first hint.
It’s interesting how Raymond doesn’t let himself be bothered by other people when he’s working. He’s looking at his work, currently a suit laid out in front of him with a little frown on his face as he’s trying to make sure that the fiasco from the other day would never repeat again. At least that’s what Gideon tells Len when he asks what the other man’s doing.
Len leans against the wall and watches him for a moment. Raymond’s movements are slow, focused and precise. He doesn’t want to make any mistake again, not after the team shunned him (even if the lot wouldn’t admit it) for losing a bit of his suit. Something that wasn’t really fair, Len admits, even if only to himself, because no one could’ve expected that, yet they all jumped at Raymond, finding a common enemy in him. Len would’ve preferred to stay with Hunter as the enemy instead.
But Raymond didn’t fight it, didn’t say a word, just took it, blamed himself and threw himself to work even more than before. He spent days making his suit better if not weeks. It was hard concentrating on time aboard the Waverider.
He doesn’t grow quiet, as Len expects him to. Instead he pushes more, he works more… he tries to prove himself more. And Len’s eyes were pulled towards the man again and again against Len’s will, making Len realize that there’s something about the man, something that makes him interesting in Len’s mind.
Something that makes him infuriating, something that makes Len want. And if he spends more time around Raymond, no one comments. No one but Mick and Sara, at least. Those two can’t ever let the opportunity to tease Len about stalking Raymond go.
They are wrong, though. Len’s not stalking Raymond. He’s just watching him more than the rest of the crew. Because there’s something about the man, something that pulls Len’s eyes over to him over and over again, and after some time, Len just stops fighting it.
He lets his eyes roam over the arch of Raymond’s back, over the pale skin of his bent neck, over his soft hair, before sighing.
“Don’t you think you’re working too much, Raymond?” He asks, the drawl ever present in his voice. Raymond doesn’t even twitch, not that Len expects him to. The man seems to get lost in whatever he’s doing a lot. Leonard rolls his eyes and comes closer, tapping him on his shoulder.
The reaction is immediate, Raymond jumps, the piece of armor – helmet, Len can see that now – that he’s working on falling from his fingers and to the ground as he spins around to stare at Len with wide eyes. A heartbeat later, he’s pressing his hand against his heart, letting out a heavy breath.
“Len.” He sighs, trying to calm himself down. “You scared me. I didn’t notice you, Gideon didn’t say anything.” He takes a deep breath, before the stupid smile appears on his face once more. “Is there something you needed?”
“Sara was calling you through the intercom.” Len says and smirks when Raymond’s lips automatically fall to his lips. That’s another thing that’s been happening lately, one that might make the stay on Waverider more bearable, perhaps. There a reason why Mick and Len call Raymond a pretty boy, after all.
‘Pretty and smart. My, my, Lenny, what are you going to do?’ A voice not unlike Lisa whispers in his mind and Len pushes it away.
“You’re supposed to come to the bridge. Hunter managed to find a new way of endangering our lives.”
“Captain does not look for those.” Gideon chimes above them and Len rolls his eyes.
“I’ll believe that when I see it.” He mutters and rolls his eyes at Raymond’s confused look. His mind’s obviously still full of his suit if he’s getting that distracted. “Whatever. Just hurry up. I don’t want to miss Sara kicking Hunter’s ass.” That’s bound to happen sooner or later with the way Hunter’s been pushing the buttons of all of them.
“I’m sorry, Dr. Palmer.” Gideon cuts into Len’s thoughts as he’s just outside of Raymond’s room, “I’ll make the signs more obvious next time.”
“No, it’s fine. It’s not your fault I am the way I am.”
Len stops, glancing back towards the room. The way Raymond said that, the tone he used sounded like more than just simple ‘it’s not your fault that I’m too bloody focused’.
Len plans to ask Raymond about that – if he’s risking his (and Mick’s life) with this ‘dream’ crew, it’s always better to have as much information as possible - but with the situation around Vostok, he doesn’t get the chance.
Vostok is when Len starts to notice. He doesn’t only notice Raymond being annoying (and adorable) with all of his nerd knowledge, Raymond being energetic and trying hard for a team that doesn’t even care, trying hard for a team that’s too selfish for him to be a part of. Those are the small things. The big thing is when they are in Vostok’s office, Raymond’s fingers running over the control panel, eyes shining like a Christmas tree, a small grin playing on his lips at Len’s teasing, before the grin falls, he jumps up and he turns to look at Len.
“We have a problem.”
Len knows. He knows by the determined look in Raymond’s eyes, by the way his shoulder tense, by the way his fingers twitch. He’s preparing for a fight, preparing to argue his point across – obviously a problem Leonard does not agree with – and Len’s eyes narrow. He doesn’t get a chance to ask, because Raymodn’s already talking.
“Valentina’s headed toward the core containment unit. The radiation Stein’s about to unleash- if she opens the door-“
Valentina, huh? Since when is that witch ‘Valentina’?
“We’re here to stop Savage from building a nuclear-powered superhero.” Len growls, his eyes narrowing when Raymond huffs and looks away. “Saving some commie broad ain’t on agenda.” There. The two of them can argue about the way Leonard treats women instead of saving her. While Raymond’s reacting to that it will be too late to help her. No one could erase all casualties.
Only Raymond has no comment to that when he turns to face Len again.
“Even if the radiation doesn’t kill her, Savage will, the second he finds out the lab’s been sabotaged.” It’s almost as if Raymond didn’t even hear him. He frowns when Len doesn’t answer. “Look, we gotta get her out of here.” He says, begs almost and Len tries not to growl. They do not have the time for that.
“Well, who’s gonna shut down the core, Raymond?” Len drawls, eyes narrowed. “I skipped that merit badge.” Raymond’s frowning at him and Leonard glares right back.
“Raymond, why is the thermal core still running at full power?” Stein’s voice cuts the silence between them. Raymond doesn’t notice, still fully focused on Leonard, before nodding lightly.
“I’ll handle the core. You handle Valentina.”
Valentina again. It makes Len’s skin itch.
“You’re willing to risk the mission for a woman you barely know?” He hisses. Mission should be the first and foremost. They made a plan for the mission and people should hold onto those. Plans are safe, smart and right.
“Be helpful to others.” Raymond mutters quietly. Len has no idea what the hell is that supposed to mean. He shakes his head, his teeth clenched and Raymond’s shrugs.
“It’s the Scout motto.” Raymond explains hesitantly, his gaze meeting Len’s. Len can see the plea in his eyes, see the desperation to help and he curses in his mind. Just what kind of power does this guy have over him? Why?
“30 seconds. “ Len growls as he pushes the man back into the chair. “I’ll get Vostok, you kill the power for Stein.” Raymond’s already looking down on the controls and Len moves a little to get him to look back. “And Raymond, promise me.” He growls, his finger in Raymond’s face. He’s not sure what he wants Raymond to promise – to follow the plan, to stop with this idiotic hero behavior, to grow up, to be safe… but whatever it is, Raymond’s not quietens the beast residing in Leonard’s chest down, and he turns stalking out.
He catches Vostok before she can get down there, gun ready in his hands as he talks to her – then promptly realizes his mistake when he says Stein’s the one who invented the freaking superhero maker ball.
Then everything’s going to hell. Len’s knows that even before Raymond looks at him through the glass of the window, seemingly confused even though Vostok was talking to him through the comm inside the facility. The way Raymond’s eyes widen, Len knows Raymond’s going to give in even before his fingers move to slide the core back online.
Raymond’s a sensitive, caring idiot like that. Vostok’s going to kill Len one way or another. But Raymond just couldn’t take the chance.
Idiot.
Mick comes, saves Len and then it’s up to Len and Sara to save the whole team. Hopefully without any unnecessary deaths, because getting Raymond back just to listen to him whine about Sara killing Stein – that might mess with the stupid idea the guy is carrying in his head about them being heroes. About them being a team and not just random people the world’s history’s not supposed to miss.
Somehow Leonard doesn’t want Raymond facing that just yet.
It doesn’t occur to Len, not until the whole team is back safe on the ship, drinking and pretending this event’s their normal Tuesday evening and there are no scars (mental ones) remaining, that during the whole argument, Raymond kept staring at his lips. And while some people might think being in life or death situation is hot and worth a shag, Leonard’s pretty sure Raymond’s not one of those people.
His eyes narrow as he looks over the room at Raymond’s bruised face, suspicion growing in his mind.
Len takes to watching Raymond. He watches him interact with Gideon and he has no idea why he didn’t notice before.
Though, Len has no chance of noticing that one, really. Gideon’s words always came with subtitles, at least as far that any of them know. Gideon’s words are always running either on the bottom of the screens that are everywhere – if one knows where and how to look for them – or on the bottom of the panel in the middle of the bridge.
Their own words turn into subtitles as soon as they speak them as well. Len didn’t think much about it, thought it’s some kind of recording program for Hunter, but he did notice the way Raymond’s eyes shone whenever he looked down at the screen and sees.
Len didn’t think much about that. He should’ve.
It doesn’t stop there. What Len thought might be Raymond’s attraction towards him, seems to be the way Raymond talks to everyone. When he’s talking to Stein, when he needs to concentrate, there is this little frown on his face – his eyes glued to the man’s lips.
When he’s talking to Jax about the ship and Jefferson has to repeat some stuff – the stuff he said when Raymond wasn’t facing him.
When he’s sitting next to Mick and Sara, snickering a bit later at the jokes that those two, as if trying to fill in the blanks since the two aren’t facing him fully.
Len watches how Hunter only speaks when he sees Raymond looking at him. Len watches the way Raymond turns away when he doesn’t want to listen anymore, his eyes forced away from the person he doesn’t want to argue with anymore as if not seeing them meant he couldn’t hear them anymore.
Len watches how Ray seems to be confused about information when he is turned around.
Len watches as before Anna takes the memory pill, she’s signing for Ray.
Len watches and watches and suddenly, things start making sense.
“You know, you’re watching him too much.” Sara points out, forcing Len’s attention away from Raymond in the hallway and back to her and the cards they play. Sara is grinning like a Cheshire cat, cards gone from her hand and Len looks down at the pile in front of her.
“It’s too easy beating you when you’re staring at your crush. It almost makes me feel like I’m cheating.” She says, grinning towards Len’s sleeve. They both know how many aces rested there. Not the point though.
“He’s not my crush.” Len says, the words fake even to his own words so he is not surprise when Sara rolls his eyes at him, before gathering the cards and shuffling them.
“Oh, yes, I believe that. Not.”
“I wouldn’t be crushing on such a nerd.” Len growls. Sara just lifts and eyebrow and Len continues. “All these references.”
“Yes. And you get each and every one of them. Don’t think I didn’t notice the jealousy when Kendra was the first to call Ray Picard.”
“I wouldn’t do that.” Len glares over. “Kirk is way hotter than Picard.”
Sara nods, pointing at Len.
“Yes. My point exactly. Two nerds in love. Two nerds in love on a time ship.” She smirks, pulling a bottle from out of nowhere – been spending too much time with Mick it seems – and takes a drink. “Sounds like a great scenario for a geek love story.”
“Time and Dimension ship, Ms. Lance.” Gideon corrects from above them and Sara grins even wider.
“Sounds perfect, doesn’t it?”
“Does not.” It sounds tempting, but not perfect. Anyway, Len’s no geek. And he’s certainly not crushing at one stupid, oblivious, blind as freaking … Raymond, Raymond- I-don’t-care-how-many-hints-you-drop-Palmer.
The stupid tightening in his chest feels as more than just a crush. A lot more, damn him.
Though Sara is wrong. Len’s not watching Raymond because of his crush (not just because of that at least). He watches because Len still needs a proof for his theory. One complete and definite proof.
“Do not tell Raymond I’m on my way over, Gideon.” Len warns, his feet carrying him towards Raymond’s room. He knows the guy is behind his desk, playing around with his suit once again – seems Raymond has hard time sleeping lately.
“I’m sure Dr. Palmer would like to be informed-“
“Do. Not.” Len growls, stopping in front of Raymond’s door. The AI is quiet for a moment.
“All of the ship’s security systems are still running.” Gideon informs Len, before the doors slide open. Raymond’s exactly how Len thought, his back towards the door and relying fully on Gideon. Len waits for a moment, before raising his hands and clapping. Once, twice. Three times.
Raymond doesn’t even twitch.
“Raymond.” Len calls, and waits. He knows nothing will happen, he’s pretty sure now and when Ray doesn’t turn, just lifts his head and stares at the wall, clearly thinking, and noticing him standing there. Len groans. “You’re an idiot.” He whispers, before he shakes his head.
“You’re an idiot.” He says, louder this time and Raymond still doesn’t turn. Doesn’t react at all. How stupid Raymond is?! Coming here, on the Waverider – hell, even playing hero back home in 2016. He might see what’s happening inside that mask of him but that still doesn’t give him the ability to hear, to be aware of the dangers around him. He can be killed because of that, and to think that that stupid idiot just threw that worry out of the window out of the goodness of his heart-
To think that he even came to fight Savage, who is like any other small villain Raymond and his group of wannabe heroes fought back in Starling city. To think that that idiot went on missions where he had no helmet on, relying on what? Lip reading this whole time?! No even telling the rest of the team to help him accommodate?! To look out for him? To kick his ass for even thinking that he could do something like that?
Len’s hand touches Raymond’s shoulder and he can fell the fraction of second when the man tenses before he jumps, turns around and faces Len.
“Len. It’s you, you got me scare for a moment.” He lets out a sigh of relief, before his shoulders tighten again. A smile appears on his face, way too big, way too fake in next moment. “Serves me right though. I was so lost in my own thoughts I didn’t notice you coming. You could’ve said something.”
Len wonders if the last sentence is directed towards Gideon. Possibly. But this moment, right here is when Len can call bullshit. This is the moment when Len can clutch at Raymond’s stupid shirt and call him an idiot to his face, call him a liar, tell him he knows everything. Tell him that he’s more than aware of Raymond’s situation and his idiotic nature. Tell him that –
But Raymond’s looking at him with wide, panicked eyes and when Len tries to open his mouth and tell him everything, his body doesn’t listen. Instead of calling the man idiot, his body steps closer, his hand grabs the back of Raymond’s head and brings their lips together.
Len tastes shock for a moment or two, but then Raymond kisses back, his hands running over Len’s spine as Len bites into Raymond’s bottom lip. The moan from Raymond’s throat makes Len burn and suddenly he wants more, he more. He needs to touch, to feel Raymond’s skin on his own.
A sense of nothingness, a sense of stillness… and then next moment everyone’s around him, Raymond holding him close, while bawling, big fat tears running down his face, his lips twitching from a smile to a grimace.
Then the man is kissing him, the wetness marking Len’s face now as well and Len’s confused as hell, but he still kisses back. It’s Raymond. He has to.
He died in the Oculus. At least that’s what everyone tells him – something that Len expected himself as well, but they found the time loop, found him and brought him back. There’s a whole story Sara’s telling him, but Len doesn’t hear a word. His eyes are fully focused on Raymond, who’s smiling happily, but there’s still something wrong with him. His eyes are a bit more tired than ever before, his shoulders held lower. There’s something wrong and Len can’t put his finger on it, at least not just yet. That would require research, something he can’t do right now.
When Raymond stands up, walks to the door and glances at Len quickly, Len excuses himself and follows his boy. He’s barely in Raymond’s room, when Raymond catches his wrist, pulls him close and kisses him, slow and sloppy.
“I missed you.” He whispers against Len’s lips. The voice’s trembling, broken… and Len feels guilty. Because what he did back there? He would do it over and over again. He would do it even now that he knew just how much he hurt Raymond. But he can’t tell him that, can’t bear to see the expression on Raymond’s face if he did, so instead he kisses the man again and again, and again. His hand slips under the hem of Raymond’s shirt, running over his skin, up over his ribs slowly – relearning every touch, every part of Raymond’s body.
The three steps to Raymond’s bed never seemed that long before.
Later, Raymond’s lying on his side, a grin splitting his lips as he stares at Len’s face and Len rolls his eyes.
“What?” He huffs.
“I’m glad to have you back.” The man says, some of the old happiness shielding the sadness in Raymond’s eyes. Len curses quietly, before surging up and pressing his hand against Raymond’s eyes.
“I love you.” He says over and over. He can feel Raymond’s frown under his hand, sees the uncertain smile on Raymond’s lips.
“Len? What’s going o-“
Len doesn’t allow Raymond to finish. Instead he kisses him until Raymond forgets he wanted to ask anything at all.
Len uses the screen in ‘library’ when Raymond’s busy. He asks Gideon to pull up some information when the new guy steps in, his eyes narrowing. There’s nothing on the screen just yet, so Len turns part of his attention his way.
“So. You’re the Captain Cold.” The guy – Hamsterwood? Heyword? Heywood? Hey-something says, his arms crossed over his chest. Len doesn’t pull his eyes away from the screen.
“I’m not giving any autographs, kid.” He drawls, smirking when the guy gapes.
“That’s not- I did not- You’re a villain!” Heyboot stutters and Len lifts an eyebrow. So maybe a bit like Raymond, stupider though, and self-important. Exactly the kind Leonard does not like or care about.
“Villain is such a childish word. I’m a criminal.”
Heytoot’s chin hits the floor.
“You’re admitting to that?!”
Leonard almost snorts. He doesn’t though, because this man is not amusing in slightest. Just annoying. He turns to face the guy.
“Let me think. The stealing, the more or less accidental killing, I think it’s kinda obvious.” The kid stares at him, obviously not used to people talking to him like that. Ha. Looks like Sara didn’t work her magic with this guy yet, well there is still time. The kid had time to put himself together though, because Heyloot’s hands are curled on his sides and he glares at Len.
“We already have enough of problems with Rory’s reckless attitude! I will not let you endanger this team even more. I will not let you harm Ray even more! Do you even know how he was after you got yourself killed off?! You left him as a real mess!”
Or maybe there isn’t any time.
Len’s eyebrow twitches as he slides off the table he’s currently perched on and he marches over to Heynoob. His fingers itch to grab his cold gun, itch to freeze his ass off, but he does not do that. Instead he glares at the guy, baring his teeth just slightly.
“You don’t talk about stuff you know nothing about, kid.” He growls, low, dangerous and Len’s sure Mick would be proud.
“I know you voted to make your partner in crime happy instead of the person who you were supposed to give anything to!” The guy’s hands are curled into tight fists, he’s leaning forward a bit and looks exactly moments before ‘steeling’ from the recordings Gideon showed him.
Len’s hand snaps down and then his hands are curling around the trigger of the cold gun, the gun pointed at Heyloot.
“You might’ve stolen the metal suit from Raymond-“
“Ray gave it to me! He saved my life!” Hey-moron’s skin starts to get metallic shine. The lights on the gold gun shimmer to life.
“Well, Raymond never knew when to let the pest die. “ Len says with a grimace, before his eyes narrow. “You know nothing about me, Mick or Raymond. So, unless you want to find out what happens to metal when it gets down to absolute zero, I suggest you keeping your opinions to yourself.” He smiles sweetly and watches as Hey’s eyes narrow.
“Sounds like you’re threatening me.”
“Sounds like we’re finally on the same page.” Len sneers, lifting the gun higher.
“Mr. Snart. I found the data you were looking for.” Gideon chimes in, pulling Len’s attention away from the guy for a moment. He reads the numbers, dates and words on the screen, before his eyes widen, his hands curling tighter against the cold gun.
“That bastard.” He growls, pushing around Hey and marching to the bridge. Hunter’s talking with Sara, but Len doesn’t care – he’s punching the guy before he knows what he’s doing, something cracks and Len hopes it’s Hunter’s nose.
“Leonard?!”
“What the hell were you doing?” Len snarls, ignoring Sara. “You know about Raymond! I’ve seen you interact with him. You know!” Len’s, yelling, pulling attention of the rest of the crew to him, but he couldn’t care less. Not right now. “And you still send him into a freaking Jurassic Park?! In a place where hearing is fundamental?! Without his suit?!” Len wonders if this is how Mick feels most of the time. He wonders if Mick feels this need to see people bleeding as much as Len does right now.
“What are you talking about, Leonard?”
Leonard doesn’t turn to look at Sara. He’s too busy glaring.
“I’m talking about this moron sending Raymond to freaking dinosaurs when he knew Raymond was deaf and couldn’t hear without his suit!”
It’s the second the words leave his mouth that Len realizes his mistake. He swallows and turns, glancing at Raymond.
Raymond, who is staring wide eyed at the screen next to Hunter’s head, at the words still running over it.
“Ray is not deaf. We would’ve noticed.” Jax says, shaking his head and looking at Raymond. “This is some kind of a weird joke, right?” Raymond doesn’t even look at him though. Instead, his eyes turn to Len.
“You knew.” He says, his voice quiet, unsure, before he blinks. “That’s why you covered my – you knew.”
Len sighs and shakes his head. It’s not that he didn’t know, it’s just...
“Raymond-“
“Ray?” Jax asks, moving into Ray’s space and the spell holding Raymond in place is broken. It’s like Raymond finally realized that they are there, that all of them are and he does the only thing his panic allows him to do – he runs.
Len curses and takes off right after him.
He finds Raymond in his room, fingers shaking around the helmet of his Atom suit. Something that Len notices over the time – whenever Raymond is stressed, or tense, having parts of his Atom suit seems to help ground him. Perhaps it’s the idea that he’s not entirely defenseless, or the fact that thanks to that suit he is a hero on his own.
Raymond’s shoulders tense when he notices Len, hovering in his doorway.
“I did not want them to know.” He says, his voice trembling at times and Len bites his bottom lip. It’s his fault. It’s his fault that Raymond needs the reassurance his suit provides and Len hates it.
“I know.” He mutters. Raymond’s not looking at him, clearly unhappy. But there’s not much Len can do about that, at least not right now so he stands quiet, waiting for Raymond to break the silence.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Ray asks and Len sighs. Why didn’t he? He wasn’t sure at first. Then he knew and… the words just didn’t come.
“You didn’t say anything so I figured you didn’t want me to know.” Len says in the end. Because that’s the whole truth. Raymond didn’t want Len to know and for some reason Len would try to do whatever Raymond wanted. That’s how stupidly gone he was. Is.
“I’m still angry.” Raymond says, but he’s finally looking at Len openly and Len counts that as a small victory.
“You should be.” he mutters quietly, hesitating for a moment before bringing his hand to his chest. His fingers curl into fist and he runs it slowly in a circle. He watches as Raymond’s eyes widen for the second time that evening.
“When… How?”
“After the Pilgrim. I asked Gideon to show me. We didn’t get too far, but… there are few things I know.” They couldn’t get too far, not with Len dying shortly after. Maybe Len could ask the AI to continue the lessons.
“I’m not going to stop being angry just because you learnt sing language.” Raymond shakes his head, but his body betrays him. His feet carry him closer to Len and Len does his best not to smile.
“I know.”
“I don’t care that you learnt it for me.” Raymond adds, not looking at Len. His shoulders are trembling a little and Len knows it’s a lie. Raymond cares. His voice is softer than it was a moments ago, and the way he’s doing his best not to meet Len’s eyes says a lot as well. Raymond was never a good liar.
Len doesn’t call him out on it. Instead he steps closer, lifting his hand and stretching it closer to Raymond. His middle finger and forefinger curled to his palm, while the rest’s outstretched, palm up for Raymond to see. It’s a stretch on Len’s fingers, but he tried it on his own so many times, that the sign is almost flawless.
The exact moment Raymond notices is so obvious, because his shoulders tense, then his head snaps up, and his eyes search Len’s.
Len should smirk. He wants to smirk, he wants to pretend it’s no big deal, but he can’t. His heart’s beating loudly in his chest or his throat or everywhere in his body – Len can’t say anymore.
And then finally, finally, Raymond moves, one of his hands reaching out, grasping at Len, at his nape, bringing him closer and pressing his lips against Len’s in a hurried kiss. It’s sloppy, and Len has to move his head a little to get comfortable, but then the kiss turns real, and all of his senses are overcome with Raymond.
Len’s not sure how long the kiss lasts – if it lasted a lifetime though, it’s still not enough. But here they are both gasping, foreheads pressed together, with Raymond’s hand pressing against Len’s, mimicking the sign Len made a moments ago.
It’s peaceful, warm, and of course Raymond has to worry.
“What are we going to do about the team?” He asks quietly against Len’s lips before pulling a bit back to see Len’s smirk.
“If they say a word, I’m throwing them out of the airlock.”
“I shall help with that, Mr. Snart.” Gideon chimes in happily as Raymond rolls his eyes and kisses Len again.
Raymond’s not entirely against that idea, if the smile that presses against Len’s lips is any indication. Len smirks himself, and his hand tightens onto Raymond’s.
He’s glad some things don’t get lost in translation.