Work Text:
there is a common misconception about fate.
fate is not kind or forgiving.
she is cruel and callous,
merciless.
she does not fight to bring souls together.
she is the force that drives them apart.
*
“i’m sorry.”
a phrase uttered so often,
it begins to lose all meaning.
when taehyung apologizes,
he does so
with his entire b e i n g,
hoping and begging
for a forgiveness
his mind tells him
he does not
deserve.
he waits as such.
arms wrapped tightly around
his shaking form,
vision blurred from the tears
that threaten to spill down
flushed cheeks.
taehyung can only only imagine
how pathetic he must look
standing outside the prince’s bedchamber
clothed in filthy rags
caked with mud.
wouldn’t be surprised
if the door were to be slammed in his face
right then and there
but instead,
he is met with nothing but absolute warmth
as he is pulled into a most loving embrace.
“you have nothing to be sorry for, angel.”
is whispered into his ear.
so
soft
gentle
warm.
the arms that hold him
are strong and muscular,
and taehyung melts into them entirely.
for a moment,
he forgets that they live worlds apart.
for a moment,
he does not know where his body stops and the other’s begins.
*
“and you are certain no one was following you?”
jeongguk asks him
once they have made it to
the safety of his room,
a hand coming up
to caress his cheek.
here
taehyung wishes he could stay
for all of eternity,
tucked away
in their own little world.
but they are not in their own little world
and in this one, they must
hide.
“yes.”
taehyung made
sure of that.
for one cannot simply afford
to be caught
with the crown prince
lest they have a
death wish.
though that answer
seems to suffice for now,
jeongguk letting out a sigh of relief
before letting his forehead
rest against
taehyung’s.
“thank the gods. i was so
worried.”
jeongguk breathes
against his lips.
and taehyung is
overcome with remorse
knowing he was the cause
of that worry.
such
unnecessary
worry.
“i’m sorry,” he whispers
sealing his apology
with a tender kiss.
i’m so sorry.
it has only been three days
since they last spoke,
three days
that seemed to last
three hundred lifetimes.
taehyung missed this
more than he thought possible.
doesn’t know
how he could ever live
without
this.
*
they soon find themselves
upon jeongguk’s bed
which taehyung likes to think
is made up of millions
of tiny little clouds.
wrapped up in each other’s arms,
no words are needed.
just this
is more than he
could ever dream.
even so,
he can tell
there is something that sits
on the very tip
of jeongguk’s tongue,
begging
to be let out.
but taehyung does not
push.
he waits.
until finally
“have you been well, love?”
jeongguk’s voice laced with
enough genuine concern
to make taehyung’s heart swell.
taking far longer
than it should
to answer
“i have.”
his words muffled against milky skin.
he is a dirty, rotten liar.
jeongguk says nothing for several moments,
goes back to carding his fingers
through taehyung’s matted hair
in silence
until
“what is this?”
taehyung feels the fabric of his shirt
being pulled at the seams,
tugged down revealing
hideous shades of purple and blue.
he
has never
felt so
exposed.
“nothing.”
moving away,
trying to cover up what has already be seen.
has the room
always felt this small?
but his efforts are of no use.
they both know
the truth.
“you told me he’d stopped.”
words cutting
his skin
like
shards of glass.
“it isn’t as bad
as it was.”
yet another
disgusting
lie.
if anything, it has only gotten
worse
with each passing day.
jeongguk is quiet
quiet
quiet.
and taehyung is glad he can no longer see his face,
having moved away from the other completely.
his touch no longer comforting, but instead
causing him to feel
ridden with
guilt.
then
suddenly
he is being rid of his shirt
entirely,
the thin material
coming undone
with the slightest of ease.
there is no hiding
the scattering of bruises
that line his body.
he is ruined,
broken beyond repair,
tears welling up in his eyes.
taehyung can only imagine
what jeongguk must think of him now.
never in his life has he felt so a s h a m e d.
“don’t. please don’t look at me.”
his voice shakes,
sounds so small
and weak
to his own ears.
wonders how it sounds to
jeongguk.
( wonders if today
will finally be
the day
his lover realizes
how unworthy of his love
he truly is. )
taehyung prepares himself
for an onslaught of harsh words
and ruthless insults
that never
comes.
what he hears
instead,
“oh angel,
please don’t cry.”
five little words
are all it takes
for taehyung
to
s h a t t e r.
he fills the night
with his broken sobs,
shuddering
shaking
gasping
for breath.
because he is loved
and he loves
so deeply.
and when jeongguk pulls him to his chest,
taehyung simply c l i n g s to him
desperately
oh so desperately,
because he cannot
will not
ever
be able
to get enough.
*
minutes (or seconds or hours) later
taehyung will find himself asking
in the smallest of voices,
“do you not find me
repulsive
like this?”
too afraid of what the answer may be
but unable to last another second
without one.
and jeongguk,
holding him in his arms
while pressing kisses into
soft
delicate skin
will answer him with,
“i could never.
not even
if i tried.”
*
that night
they make love
underneath
the watchful eyes of stars
filtering light through satin curtains.
jeongguk pushes past
his intricate walls
reaching the most secret parts of him,
and taehyung is all too willing to share.
like this, two become one
as they are forever
bound by
fate.
*
they are
lying in bed
some time after,
having since
cleaned themselves off
when jeongguk speaks
into the quiet of the night.
“taehyung.”
voice
hardly
a whisper.
“yes, jeongguk?”
“marry me.”
taehyung’s
heart
stops.
and starts again.
“wh- what?”
he must be dreaming
and not realize it.
there is no
other
way.
but
dream or not,
jeongguk is taking
taehyung’s hand into his,
eyes wide and searching
as they stare deep
into his own.
he is not
breathing.
“we can leave this life behind,
go somewhere
far
away
where no one will ever find us.
i can make sure that you
never hurt again
if only you’ll
let me.”
he cannot
breathe.
“you won’t have to be mistreated
by those bastard guards
or bear the abuse of your
horrible
excuse for a father
or
anyone
any longer.”
he is
drowning
in his own hope
and tears.
“please.
tell me you’ll say yes, p l e a s e.”
how could he possibly say anything else?
“yes, yes, yes, oh gods, yes –”
reciting that word
like a prayer
as if
it is the key
to his salvation.
taehyung closes the distance between them
in a kiss that feeds his soul
like nothing else can.
lips parted,
breaths mingling,
tongues dancing.
they do not pull away until their lungs burn
and they are gasping for air.
i love you
i love you
i love you.
a phrase
shared between them
again and
again.
as if they cannot
say it
enough.
tonight
taehyung will fall asleep
to the steady rise and fall
of jeongguk’s chest,
hearts
beating in
perfect sync.
*
he dreams of a world
where they are free to love one another
without fear or strife,
the world
jeongguk has promised him.
it is
everything
he could ever wish for
and more.
*
when taehyung wakes up
it is not to sheets made of clouds
or sunlight filtering through
satin curtains.
he wakes up
in a small, windowless room
on a bed made composed of
threadbare blankets.
and in the corner
lay a man
passed out from
intoxication
most likely.
the sight of the rotting wood
and festering mold
in this room
he is forced to call home
brings unwanted tears to his eyes.
last night never happened.
only
it did
once upon a time.
seven years ago
to be exact
when he still believe
in childish things like
happily ever afters.
even after all this time
his memory has neve
oh how f o o l i s h he was
to believe that he,
a peasant
who scrubs floors
for a living,
could ever achieve
such a thing.
and yet
even after
all this time has passed,
his heart continues to beat
for a man who no longer remembers
his name.
and perhaps
taehyung will always love
jeon jeongguk.
perhaps
this is his one true fate.