nothing i do is ever good enough
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I bit my tongue last night (woke up with blood on my pillow) by BabyLouisVuitton
Fandoms: Formula 1 RPF
19 Aug 2025
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Summary
The cold linoleum tiles offered something close to comfort on these nights, when Oscar’s skin ran too warm, and the guilt made the feeling of his clothes on his skin unbearable.
Some nights, to deal with the itch, he’d put on a sweater, a pair of too-tight jeans, folding himself into additional layers of itchy wool or stiff denim to distract from the loathing. He preferred the frustration, the feeling of his skin heating and itching, to the guilt that would eat away at him, moment by moment.
Sometimes, even the chilled linoleum felt too kind, and he’d force himself into an uncomfortable crouch, absorbing the weight of his own actions, the longing for coolness, gentleness, thrumming just under the surface.
Series
- Part 1 of nothing i do is ever good enough
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Summary
Oscar didn’t know how it happened. He thought he had been hiding it well enough– coming up with good excuses to avoid team dinners, excusing himself back to his room after hotel room service movie nights, saying his trainer would kill him if he tried any of the cupcakes from catering. He had felt good about it, it had all sounded believable, and he had never let the anxiety slip through the cracks.
He had tried so hard. So hard. Yet somehow, somehow, Lando peered through the cracks, putting broken pieces together despite Oscar trying so hard to make the puzzle unrecognizable.
Series
- Part 2 of nothing i do is ever good enough