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From: Kim Seokjin <[email protected]>
To: Min Yoongi <[email protected]>, Kim Namjoon <[email protected]>, Park Jimin <[email protected]>, Jung Hoseok <[email protected]>, Kim Taehyung <[email protected]>, Jeon Jungkook <[email protected]>
Date: February 16, 2021
Subject: You’re so dead
Greetings, gentlemen.
As you may know, I had a meeting with the corporative today, and they were quite interested in the results of our intern investigation regarding the usage of the business email considering that, as I’ve learnt today you weren’t even aware of, the corporative also have access to our email accounts. So, after seeing quite a self-discovery journey and the solving of a relationship problem today at the office with Mr. Hwang, I decided to see what else you have been up to. Fancy finally hearing the whole story of how Jimin and Yoongi got together, and why Taehyung was annoying as hell during August.
I want all of you at my office in five minutes. I don’t care what you’re doing, where you are or if you think this is a joke or not.
Oh, and in case it wasn’t obvious for the subject of this email: you’re all dead. Very dead.
Best wishes (actually no, fuck you),
Kim Seokjin. Human Resources Director.
P.S.: No, you aren’t dead, fuckers. Yes, I’m too weak for you to do something bad to you, but I am still going to nag all of you and make you sign HR violation forms. And Yoongi, you better make me your best man at your wedding with Jimin at Busan. And Jungkook and Taehyung, you better ensure that I have the Fridays as my day to watch the TV at the Purchasing and Planning department. I’ll let Joon and Hoseok go with this one because their thing is recent and it was very emotional, but I expect them to give me a full mark in the next internal evaluation.
From: Park Jimin <[email protected]>
To: Kim Seokjin <[email protected]>, Min Yoongi <[email protected]>, Kim Namjoon <[email protected]>, Jung Hoseok <[email protected]>, Kim Taehyung <[email protected]>, Jeon Jungkook <[email protected]>
Date: February 16, 2021
Subject: Re: You’re so dead
My wedding with who????? How is this the first time I hear about this?
From: Min Yoongi <[email protected]>
To: Kim Seokjin <[email protected]>, Kim Namjoon <[email protected]>, Park Jimin <[email protected]>, Jung Hoseok <[email protected]>, Kim Taehyung <[email protected]>, Jeon Jungkook <[email protected]>
Date: February 16, 2021
Subject: Re: Re: You’re so dead
Woah. Thank you, Seokjin hyung. I was absolutely planning for Jimin to find out about me wanting to propose through a fucking email.
From: Jeon Jungkook <[email protected]>
To: Kim Seokjin <[email protected]>, Min Yoongi <[email protected]>, Kim Namjoon <[email protected]>, Park Jimin <[email protected]>, Jung Hoseok <[email protected]>, Kim Taehyung <[email protected]>
Date: February 16, 2021
Subject: Re: Re: Re: You’re so dead
Look at that. Hoseok hyung wasn't the one ruining the surprise this time. Completely unexpected.
From: Kim Namjoon <[email protected]>
To: Kim Seokjin <[email protected]>, Min Yoongi <[email protected]>, Park Jimin <[email protected]>, Jung Hoseok <[email protected]>, Kim Taehyung <[email protected]>, Jeon Jungkook <[email protected]>
Date: February 16, 2021
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: You’re so dead
Don't be so harsh on Hoba. He just feels a lot and very loud. He never inteds to hurt anyone.
From: Jung Hoseok <[email protected]>
To: Kim Seokjin <[email protected]>, Min Yoongi <[email protected]>, Kim Namjoon <[email protected]>, , Park Jimin <[email protected]>, Kim Taehyung <[email protected]>, Jeon Jungkook <[email protected]>
Date: February 16, 2021
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: You’re so dead
Namjoon TT
From: Kim Taehyung <[email protected]>
To: Kim Seokjin <[email protected]>, Min Yoongi <[email protected]>, Kim Namjoon <[email protected]>, Park Jimin <[email protected]>, Jung Hoseok <[email protected]>, Jeon Jungkook <[email protected]>
Date: February 16, 2021
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: You’re so dead
Who cares if the surprised is ruined or not. Jimin deserves a proper marriage proposal because he's the best HR guy on the world!! What are you waiting for, Yoongi hyung?
Clarifying: Seokjin hyung you're the second best. No hard feelings, Jimin just gives very good advices and bakes awesome cookies.
From: Kim Seokjin <[email protected]>
To: Min Yoongi <[email protected]>, Kim Namjoon <[email protected]>, Park Jimin <[email protected]>, Jung Hoseok <[email protected]>, Kim Taehyung <[email protected]>, Jeon Jungkook <[email protected]>
Date: February 16, 2021
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: You’re so dead
If one of you somehow turns this into a proposal, you're gonna be dead for real.
(No, you're not gonna be. But please don't propose through an email, Yoongi. It's not as romantic as you all probably think it is).
From: Min Yoongi <[email protected]>
To: Kim Seokjin <[email protected]>, Kim Namjoon <[email protected]>, Park Jimin <[email protected]>, Jung Hoseok <[email protected]>, Kim Taehyung <[email protected]>, Jeon Jungkook <[email protected]>
Date: February 16, 2021
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: You’re so dead
You just lost your right to be copied on the best proposal email ever written.
I told you Joon, didn't I? Seokjin is such a wet blanket.