Chapter Text
The lunch room was alive as Tommy took his seat. Every table was buzzing about their morning classes. It was the day of midterms, and everyone was talking about it. Whether it be the questions, their answers, or how they thought they did, it was the main topic of conversation. People discussed which tests were the hardest and which ones were easy as fuck. He heard people at the table behind him talk about how they got away with cheating on one, and had the respect to be mildly impressed.
“Tommy!” Purpled’s voice exclaimed.
Tommy snapped his head up instantly, snickering as he watched Purpled crash against the table and spread his hands flat across it.
His face was entirely serious when he exclaimed, “What the fuck was the chemistry test?! I swear we didn’t learn, like, half of the shit on it.”
“I know!” Tommy agreed, leaning back in his chair. “Does Mr. Jones even remember what he taught us?”
“I don’t think he does,” Purpled responded instantly, dropping his backpack to the floor before falling into his seat. “I swear, that man has horrible memory problems. He’s going to be the reason I lose my 4.0.”
A groan announced the arrival of Tubbo and Ranboo. Tubbo collapsed at the table, hiding his face in his arms as Ranboo carefully sat down beside him.
Tubbo lifted his chin and mournfully declared, “I failed the English test so bad.”
“No offense, Tubs, but I kinda expected it,” Tommy replied, patting his friend on the shoulder.
Tubbo looked at him like he’d just stabbed him in the stomach. “What the fuck?!”
“You’re not that good with words, Tubbo,” Ranboo told him like he was breaking devastating news, gently patting his back.
“You could at least have a bit more faith in me, come on,” Tubbo groaned, quickly returning to hiding his face in his arms.
Tommy couldn’t help the cackle that escaped his lips. With the majority of his midterms out of the way, there was a huge weight lifted off his shoulders. Not only that, but his teachers had all readily accepted his late work. They were just glad he was getting it done, rather than having a worrying amount of zeros in the gradebook. He’d managed to save his grades and not crush himself under the stress of it. To be fair, most of that relieved stress was thanks to the three other teens at the table. They’d taken the time to help him through worksheets or just straight up let him copy their own. Either way, it was done. Tommy didn’t care about his methods anymore, just that he passed at all.
Purpled leaned across the table, brandishing the handle-end of a fork and poking Tubbo’s head with it. He looked up grumpily, an exaggerated frown on his face. Purpled only grinned as he sat back.
“What about the other tests? Those couldn’t have gone half as bad as your English one,” he said, stabbing a grape from a plastic container full of them.
“They were fine,” Tubbo grumbled, resting his chin on his arms. “Science was easy and math was okay. History’s probably gonna suck, though.”
“History always sucks,” Tommy agreed. “Who wants to remember all that shit?”
“No one,” Tubbo commented. He pushed himself up off the table, stretching his arms above his head before asking, “How do you think you did, Tommy?”
If it had been any other year, Tommy would have thought he hadn’t done good enough. The prospect of getting anything less than the best would have been terrifying. He would’ve skipped lunch from anxiety and crashed at work and made the others worry again. There’d be more energy drinks and granola bar wrappers left in his wake of rushed homework and crammed studying. This year, no one allowed him to do that. Phil made sure he ate something each night. Wilbur made sure he had all his work organized and that he told his teachers what he’d doing with it. Tubbo, Ranboo, and Purpled kept his work flow going, but didn’t let him do so much it stressed him out.
This year, he wasn’t alone. He let people help him. He let himself relax and not worry so much about where he’d be in three years, but who he could be in the moment. He didn’t worry about being perfect, just that he was doing the best that he could. It was nice.
“I think I did alright,” Tommy shrugged, falling back in his chair. “Didn’t fail, at least.”
Across the table, Tubbo grinned. It looked like he succeeded, like he’d just won something and didn’t tell anyone he was in the running. Ranboo wore a smile that matched Tubbo’s, but masked it behind an elbow thrown into the older’s side.
“Better than what Tubbo can say,” Ranboo jabbed, earning a jab and a sharp Hey!
“Damn, Ranboo’s toxic today!” Purpled hissed with a smirk.
“I can’t believe this,” Tubbo stated, standing out of his chair. “I’m getting my lunch. I won’t take this slander for another second, I’m not coming back to this table.”
Ranboo sputtered as Tubbo stormed away, calling, “C’mon, hey, wait—! I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry!”
-
The school day passed quickly, then it was just one bus ride to the grocery store. The best thing about moving to Phil’s was that Tommy didn’t have to give up his job. His friends at the store were quite literally the only thing keeping him sane. The more time that passed, the more Tommy was sure this was the right choice. His parents had often said they wanted what was best for him, but it became clearer and clearer they just wanted him to be something he couldn’t be. It never occurred to them that their wants weren’t their son’s, but that wasn’t something Tommy had to worry about any longer.
He pushed in the back door through the storage room with Tubbo and Ranboo, a rush of cool air escaping out the door behind them. They passed Fundy and Foolish, waving as they pulled boxes from shelves and sat them on a dolly for restocking. The store was always filled with friendly faces, and Tommy never wanted to leave it unless it was on his own terms.
As they approached the break room, Tommy’s eyes landed on a familiar head of curly brown hair. Part of him expected what was coming and desperately wished to avoid the embarrassment and slip into the break room in silence. The other part knew that avoiding Wilbur would be a futile effort.
Before either side of him could win his dumb game of mental rock, paper, scissors, Tubbo called out, “Hey Wilbur!”
In an instant, the man whipped around from where he was checking the schedule. A smile broke out on his face upon seeing the three of them, and he was quick to cross the gap between them. Tommy braced for impact as Wilbur beelined straight for him, so he was ready when Wilbur’s arms crushed his torso. If asked, he would deny that he returned the hug with equal intensity.
“Hey, Toms,” Wilbur greeted softly, the love so sickly sweet in his tone it made Tommy’s cheeks flush.
“Hey, Wil,” Tommy mumbled, hoping his voice didn’t sound as tight as he thought it did.
Wilbur slipped away from him, smile significantly brighter, and turned to Tubbo and Ranboo. He didn’t hesitate to ruffle their hair, even if he had to reach a bit for the top of Ranboo’s head.
“And it's always a pleasure seeing you two doing well,” he added warmly.
“Hi Wilbur,” Tubbo responded routinely, a smile betraying his bored tone.
“Hey, Wilbur,” Ranboo said similarly, if not a bit more shy.
“So boys,” Wilbur began, clapping his hands and spinning to lead them towards the break room, “how was the day? How’d the midterms go?”
There was a communal ”eugh” from the three teens. After a whole day of test taking, Tommy wasn’t excited to keep talking about it. He knew Wilbur would be anxiously awaiting his answer, though. The least he could do was quell the man’s worries.
“I bombed my english one,” Tubbo answered, sounding like the words tasted like tar in his mouth. “Otherwise, it was pretty easy. Or maybe I just bombed everything else as well, who knows.”
“Science was my downfall, but yeah, otherwise it was okay,” Ranboo added with a shrug.
“And Tommy?” Wilbur rounded out the trio, opening the break room door and letting the others enter before him.
Tommy grinned. This time was different, he reminded himself. His life was changing, and it was changing for the better.
“I think I did alright,” Tommy answered, sliding by and dropping his backpack on a table. “Maybe not as well as I could’ve, but that’s okay… I think. I forgot some of the formulas we needed for math and the chem test was just gross all around, so—”
Tommy wheezed, feeling arms wrap around his torso and squeeze the air from his lungs. He gripped what he soon recognized as Wilbur’s arms tight in his hands. He couldn’t help but laugh embarrassedly as Wilbur buried his chin in his shoulder, hugging him like he’d never get the chance again.
“That’s amazing, Tommy!” Wilbur exclaimed, swinging him around slightly. “You worked so hard, I’m sure you did great.”
“I mean— C’mon, it’s basically thanks to Tubbo and them that I’m not failing in the first place,” Tommy sputtered, trying to shove attention away from himself. “I had so much late work…”
“Yeah, but you did it all. You turned it in and got a grade, even when we weren’t there to help,” Ranboo added. “Give yourself some credit, man.”
Tommy snapped his mouth shut. His face quickly began to heat up and he hurried to hide it behind his hands, melting back into Wilbur’s chest and hoping he could shrink himself into invisibility. The abundance of praise and love he’d been receiving lately was nice, but it was incredibly overwhelming, too. His friends loved so easily, like they had endless amounts of the stuff to share. Being around that constantly was taking some getting used to.
Behind him, Wilbur giggled, giving him another gentle squeeze. He cooed, “Aww, is Tommy a wittle flustered?”
“Shut up, prick!” Tommy snapped, untangling himself from Wilbur and shoving at the man’s shoulders, hating how his face flushed. “Aren’t you supposed to be fucking working or something?! Or does no one do that here anymore?”
Wilbur raised his hands and slowly started to back out of the room. “Oh, no, I’ll go back to work, don’t worry. And I’ll tell Phil and Techno about everything that happened here.”
With that, Wilbur bolted from the room. Tommy blanched for a second, staring at the space Wilbur had taken up seconds ago, before what he said registered in his brain.
“Oh no you don’t—! You fucking asshole!” Tommy shouted, taking off at a sprint.
Only distantly did he hear Tubbo and Ranboo cackling in his ears. Bursting into the store, startling a few passing customers, Tommy could hear his heart pumping in his ears. It was incredible and exhilarating. Looking down towards the deli, Tommy spotted his older brother leaning over the counter. He could see Phil leaning in just as close, laughing as Wilbur told him something.
“Oi, dickhead, you better not be saying what I think you are!” Tommy shouted, running to meet them.
-
It was still weird, walking into Phil’s house at the end of the day and climbing the stairs to a room that he was supposed to call his own. The more time he spent in it, the more it felt like his own, but it still felt like a guest room rather than a Tommy room.
Everyday when he woke up, he tried to be as quiet as possible. It felt like staying over at a family member’s house and knowing you were awake earlier than everyone else: you walked down the hall to the bathroom on your tiptoes, in fear of waking anyone else. Each morning, Tommy snuck down the hall and down the stairs, only to find Phil or Kristin or both of them already awake, already starting on breakfast for the rest of the household. They always greeted him warmly and got him a glass and asked what he wanted to drink or if he wanted anything special on his pancakes.
He was getting used to it. He didn’t know how long it would take to really feel like he belonged in their home, but he thought he could get there someday.
There was one thing in particular he liked about his new room, though. His window let him gaze out over their small backyard rather than straight out into the street like in his old room. In this room, there was a small part of roofing below his window, one close enough and wide enough for him to crawl out and sit in the evening air. It was almost a hobby he’d taken up, climbing out his window each night just to stare up at the sky and take in the sounds of the night. Those were mostly just barking dogs or the occasional passing car or motorbike, but it was pleasant nonetheless.
Tommy didn’t have these small freedoms living with his parents. He’d hidden away in his room and barely ever dared to venture out of it. He crept down halls and tried to make as little noise as possible, always scared of poking the dog at the wrong time and getting bit in return. With Phil and Kristin, he could relax. He could live a life that was his and his alone. They wouldn’t try to rig his life and make it something they wanted. What they wanted was for him to be happy. He knew that for certain each night he crawled out his window and felt the breeze rush across his skin and mess with his hair.
He was starting to understand what freedom really felt like.
A gentle knock on his door brought him back to reality. He twisted from where he was watching the wisps of clouds pass on his tiny patch of rooftop to see Wilbur leaning through his doorway, a hand raised to where he knocked on the open door. There was a gentle smile on his face that, for some reason, made Tommy’s face flush.
“What do you want?” he asked quickly, turning around to hide his red face.
“To tell you dinner’s almost ready. Kristin found a curry recipe she wanted to try for you,” Wilbur answered. “And to chat with you, if that’s alright.”
Tommy huffed, scooting over and making room. “Yeah, it’s fine.”
He glanced over as he heard Wilbur start to clamber through the window, much less gracefully than Tommy ever had. He tried to hold back a laugh as Wilbur wiggled his leg out through the window, smothering it to a snicker. He got an elbow to the side in return, only making him laugh for real.
“Don’t mock me and my aging limbs,” Wilbur scolded lightly. “I’m not as young and spry as you are.”
“That much is obvious,” Tommy agreed. “I just didn’t know you moved like a fucking baby giraffe.”
“Wow, a clumsy and a tall joke, you’re learning,” Wilbur replied with a grin.
Tommy sputtered and cackled, his heart warming in his chest when he heard Wilbur laughing right alongside him. He wiped the budding tears from his eyes before leaning back on his hands, closing his eyes and taking in the late autumn chill. There was something nice about a slight cold wrapping itself around your bones. Nothing too warm or too cold, just a small bite big enough to make the goosebumps on your arms rise but small enough to not need a coat.
“How are you feeling, Toms?” Wilbur asked. “How was your day?”
“My day…” Tommy sighed. He pushed himself forward and adjusted himself to sit criss-cross, staring down at the backyard as he thought. This was another new thing in his day: someone would always ask him how his day was at the end of it. Whether it be in person at the dinner table or over text or a phone call, he’d be telling someone what he did that day. It was simple and basic. Tommy didn’t really notice it had become such a central part of his day until the one night it hadn’t happened. He’d been in bed, trying to sleep when the thought crossed his mind. Then, not even minutes later, he’d gotten a text from Wilbur. It simply read, “what did you do today?”
“Well, you basically know everything I did today. Went to school, took some midterms, went to work, came back here,” Tommy told him, shrugging. “Nothing really happened outside that.”
“Then answer my first question,” Wilbur suggested. “How’re you feeling?”
That was harder. Tommy didn’t know how to describe his emotions. He’d never been particularly good at it. They barely made sense in his own head, he had no clue how to make other people understand them. If he didn’t try, though, Wilbur would get all worried and ask him more questions and Tommy would love to prevent that outcome if possible, so he’d try. For Wilbur and the others, he’d do his best.
“Uh, I feel… pretty alright, I guess,” he stammered, taking hold of his ankles as his legs began to bounce. “I’m feeling okay with how I did on my midterms. I don’t feel like I did so horribly that my world’s gonna collapse around me. I’m glad that I got to go to work today. It was fun messing around with Tubbo and Ranboo in the back again. Um… I’m excited to try Kristin’s curry, too.”
“That’s good,” Wilbur praised, a warm and encouraging smile on his face. “I’m glad you’re happy, Tommy.”
Tommy’s heart fluttered, but he said, “Eugh, you’re doing it again. You’re being all sappy and brotherly.”
“I can’t help it,” Wilbur whined, heavily leaning his weight onto Tommy. He squawked in protest, but relented as Wilbur threw an arm around his shoulder. Wilbur continued, “I’m just proud of you, man. You’ve really come so far in the last few weeks. You’re choosing to do things for yourself, now, not because someone told you to or because they thought it was what was best for you. You’re letting yourself feel and not downplaying it anymore, it’s just… it’s really nice to see.”
For the millionth time in the past week, Tommy’s face flushed. He hung his head and hid it in Wilbur’s side, succumbing to his warmth but not wanting to be seen by him all the same. He was getting too soft. He needed to steel himself back up sometime soon.
“Thanks, WIl,” he mumbled, tangling his fingers in the hem of the man’s baggy flannel shirt.
Wilbur just squeezed him close and rested his head on top of his. He mumbled happily, “Don’t mention it. Who would I be if I didn’t relentlessly praise my little brother?”
Tommy decided he didn’t want to put up with his squishy brother anymore. He quickly slipped out from under Wilbur’s arm and tugged on his flannel, causing him to bend in half at the waist. He couldn’t stop himself from bursting out laughing, bending over himself and holding his stomach as it cramped. Wilbur recovered easily, reaching out to grab him and ruthlessly noogie him into submission.
“You always have to ruin my moments, don’t you?” Wilbur partially growled, breaking away into laughter himself.
“All of your moments are embarrassing. Have less moments,” Tommy countered between breaths, jabbing at Wilbur’s stomach with his fingers.
“Oh, shut it,” Wilbur snapped, giving up on his teasing to just wrap his arms around Tommy’s torso and hold him there. He huffed and rested his chin on Tommy’s shoulder, mumbling, “Can we just be happy in silence for a bit?”
“Fine,” Tommy sighed, relaxing and laying back against Wilbur’s chest. “I guess I can just bless you with my presence for a moment.”
As requested, Wilbur didn’t respond, just hummed and hugged him tighter. Tommy didn’t realize how much he liked just being happy before. He cherished it plenty, looking back on his life, but until recently it didn’t click how much it really meant to him. Getting to share time and memories with the people he knew loved him as much as he loved them was better than anything else the world could give him.
Another knock on his door made him come back to the ground. He peered around Wilbur’s shoulder to see Techno watching them from the door, not able to hide his smile before Tommy caught a glimpse of it.
“Hey, idiots, dinner’s ready,” he announced, turning and heading back downstairs already. “Don’t kill each other on the way down.”
Tommy glanced up, momentarily locking eyes with Wilbur before starting off the chaos. He pried the man’s arms off of him and shot towards the window. He managed to slip through before Wilbur could snatch his ankle. It was easy to kick his hand off and scramble to his feet and stick his tongue out mockingly. He stood and watched as Wilbur tried to scramble back through the window for a second, another laugh bubbling out of him. Without a care, Tommy spun and bolted from the room, a grin stuck to his face, and he knew he was alive.