Chapter Text
I stifled a sob, “I might die.”
I shifted away from the sun, retreating further under the playground, deeper into the shade.
“Why did I decide to come here?” I griped aloud, “It’s summer break, I can do whatever I want...” I thought aloud bitterly.
Oh right.
Sodapop wasn’t home.
I made an impulsive decision to stop by after visiting my grandma, who lived in the same neighborhood. In retrospect, I’m kind of glad they weren’t there, I’m not sure how their mom would’ve liked me just popping out of the blue like that.
Again.
I absentmindedly picked at a piece of mulch, not caring if I would get a splinter.
What if their mom was getting tired of my bullshit, was I too random? Too last minute?
Was I maybe obsessive over seeing them? I mean, they were my best friend, and I only saw them every two weeks, tops. Is that even a valid excuse?
Every other weekend, I usually made sure to make a semi-interesting schedule for the day and invite them, but when they couldn’t make it, I wouldn’t be able to see them for at most two weeks later, the weekend after the next, because I had high school in a different county.
I unconsciously thumbed the cushioning of my headphones, those of which brought me comfort and security, even when around my neck like now.
Call me self-centered but when this happened, and I wasn’t able to see them for four weeks, I noticed my mood would plummet and I would normally just be angsty and stupid headed.
Impulsive and depressed wasn’t a good mix, not being a demeanor I usually took on.
Except for now.
I sighed and went limp in defeat, “This heatwaves getting to my head.” I murmured, stuffing my hands into my pockets feeling around for gum, jacket food, anything.
My hands came back with a five-dollar bill and some loose change.
I angrily stuffed them back in and let out a small, frustrated sound.
I flopped back down in the mulch and groaned in frustration, “What the fucks wrong with me..?”
I closed my eyes and blinked back tears, “ugh, mood swings much?” I laughed quietly.
I hummed thoughtfully, “I think there’s a gas station around the block...”
Chevron, right? It had a food mart and stuff to...
I stood up, wary of hitting my head on the playground equipment, “Screw it, I’m getting ice cream.” I said to no one in particular, wiping away annoying tears.
I’d been doing that a lot for the past few years. Talking to myself, that is. It was nice, a good coping mechanism, but I often wondered if I looked crazy when I did. Good thing it was too hot out for anyone to want to come to the park.
I strode across the mulch and onto the nearby sidewalk, shielding my eyes from the unbearably hot sun.
Unchaining my bike from the rack and riding from the property almost felt liberating, with a hot wind blowing over my skin and through my hair.
I turned onto Acapaluco Ave, then took a right onto Florida Blvd, then a left, and found my way to the gas station next to highway A1A.
Five bucks should be enough to get a push-pop or something, right? Right.
I chained my bike to one of the small palm trees that circled the property and went in, crumpled bills on person.
When the doors were pushed open, I was greeted with a tiny ding, a glance from another customer, and a silent nod from the counter person.
I waved awkwardly and proceeded to the cooler.
The sides of it depicted various pictures of glorified and photoshopped ice cream bars with eccentric colors everyone knew weren’t the actual product, but where never dissatisfied with their purchase.
I slid it open and took a push-pop from the selection and closed the lid.
I shuffled through the gas station, picking up an almond joy on the way to the cashier, when I stopped, looked around the familiar building, and smiled.
Which might’ve made me look a little deranged but I couldn’t help myself.
Gas stations where super nostalgic for me, and would strangely always hold a place in my heart.
As a little kid, we had used to stop at a Dairy Queen gas station in Sebastian, where my mom and dad would meet to pass me and my sister off to each other for their designated weekends.
I had been dealing with those painfully boring car rides since I was a toddler, and had grown used to it, it was something I’d usually brush off with a c’est la vie.
I guess that’s why gas stations are kind of important to me, they offered a break in those two hours.
I set the push-pop on the counter, “Hello, just these please.”
The cashier nodded and started scanning my stuff, “You should probably beat that storm on your way home,” He said, bagging my stuff and handing it to me, “it’s gonna be pretty bad.”
I took it from him and nodded, “Thank you sir.”
“Have a nice day, kid.”
“You to, I’ll try.” I reassured, walking from the building.
As I stood in front of the food mart, I stared at the sky as great, black, rolling clouds could be seen tumbling over the horizon, visibly moving in my direction.
Judas Preist, that came out of nowhere. Heh, Florida weather for you.
I jogged to my bike, unchained it from the palm tree and slung my grocery bag onto the handles.
I got a running start, jumped onto my bike, and started pedaling.
As I went back to the park, the sky started to become obscured by clouds, eventually offering shade from the sweltering sun, however, the humidity trapped the heat in the air, not making the temperature itself much better.
When I reached the park, it had begun to sprinkle as I threw the bike into the rack, not even bothering with the chain.
I ran underneath a small pavilion and got under the blue and faded-red plastic top just as the downpour began.
I sat contentedly on top the blue picnic table and sighed, “Worth it...” I sighed and looked around for the plastic bag.
I felt around for a moment, sighed, and ran into the pouring rain to retrieve the bag from the handlebars of the bike.
I sat back down on the tabletop and opened the bag and pushed open the push-pop.
As the water seeped through my clothes, I listened contentedly to the rain and briefly wondered when it would let up.
I wonder what Sodapop thinks of the rain.
I licked the ice cream pop that brought artificial flavoring and nostalgia to my senses. I used to get these at a gas station with my grandma when I was younger, and I checked the label again, just to make sure it was the same childhood brand.
Yep, Flintstone's push-pops.
I absentmindedly bit a chunk off and listened to the rain, noting how it sounded like a soft ushering to sleep.
Sssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
I leaned back on an arm and smiled as the air temperature seemed to decrease.
Not only did the rain bring cool weather, but the colors of the world seemed a little brighter and a little more saturated, bringing the pleasant smell of petrichor with it.
Without much thought, I slipped my headphones over my ears and turned them on, automatically connecting them to my phone with a robotically toned, “Your headset is connected.”
I fumbled for my phone, opened Spotify, and chose a playlist I had been working on for a while.
‘p.o.v: you’re heartbroken but too in love to care’
I don’t know why I had named it that, it just seemed suiting for the mood the songs set.
I tapped the play button and sighed, feeling quite pleased with myself.
I was thankful a nice song came first.
Road shimmer
Wiggling the vision
Heat heat waves
I'm swimming in a mirror
“What a coincidence.” I giggled not being able to hear myself over the music.
Road shimmer
Wiggling the vision
Heat heat waves
I'm swimming in a
Sometimes, all I think about is you
Late nights in the middle of June
Heat waves been faking me out
Can't make you happier now
Sometimes, all I think about is you
Late nights in the middle of June
Heat waves been faking me out
Can't make you happier now
I closed my eyes and listened as rain droned on in the background.
Usually I put
Something on TV
So we never think
About you and me
But today I see
Our reflections
Clearly in Hollywood
Laying on the screen
You just need a better life than this
You need something I can never give
Fake water all across the road
It's gone now the night has come but
Sometimes, all I think about is you
Late nights in the middle of June
Heat waves been faking me out
Can't make you happier now
You can't fight it
You can't breathe
You say something so loving but
Now I've got to let you go
You'll be better off in someone new
I don't wanna be alone
You know it hurts me too
You look so broken when you cry
One more and then I'll say goodbye
A brief, unpleasant memory flashed through my mind as those two lines finished, but I softly brushed it away.
Sometimes, all I think about is you
Late nights in the middle of June
Heat waves been faking me out
Can't make you happier now
Sometimes, all I think about is you
Late nights in the middle of June
Heat waves been faking me out
Can't make you happier now
I gazed off at the trees behind the green fence. The lushness of the trees put the painted chain fence to shame as the leaves dances and shimmered in the rain's movement.
I just wonder what you're dreaming of
When you sleep and smile so comfortable
I just wish that I could give you that
That look that's perfectly un-sad
Sometimes, all I think about is you
Late nights in the middle of June
Heat waves been faking me out
Heat waves been faking me out
Sometimes, all I think about is you
Late nights in the middle of June
“Pfft, yeah...” I mused, taking the last bite of the pop.
Heat waves been faking me out
Can't make you happier now
Sometimes, all I think about is you
Late nights in the middle of June
Heat waves been faking me out
Can't make you happier now
Road shimmer
Wiggling the vision
Heat heat waves
I'm swimming in a mirror
Road shimmer
Wiggling the vision
Heat heat waves
I'm swimming in a mirror
As the song ended, I smiled.
The heatwave really was getting to my head.
The rain poured on and on, giving life to everything it touched, saturating the environment with color and movement.
I took my headphones off and my phone from my pocket and placed them on the table and slipped off, my converse hit the concrete with a soft splash.
I stood at the edge of the tiny pavilion, relishing in the mist the rain cast in the wind. I took a step from under the shelter and into the downpour, impact of droplets in my hair and on my shoulders could be felt, and I let the water seep in.
I stood there until I was thoroughly soaked, until my clothes hung from my frame with newfound weight, until all worries washed away and seeped into the dirt.
I smiled and let out a liberated giggle.
Deep puddles formed on the sidewalk, and everyone’s knows you have to play in the puddles when you play in the rain.
I jumped and kicked in them, not caring how wet my shoes got. I smiled, “Waters always so much more fun in real life than in my dreams.” I laughed, staring at my reflection in the grey puddle. I could see the worlds reflection in the puddle, and wondered if my warbled counterpart was staring at me as well.
People usually tend to draw water blue, when really it just reflects the sky.
As of now, the sky was grey, so it would have it that the puddles where to. I thought this color would look much better with the saturated environment anyways.
I squinted and stared up at the sky, picking out a golden tint beyond the clouds.
Was it getting late already?
I sighed as I went back under the pavilion to check my phone.
8:07pm.
I had nearly forgotten how late the sun set in summer.
I grabbed my headphones, folded them (as they where collapsible) and stuffed them in my soggy jacket pocket along with my phone. It’s probably fine.
I got on my bike, adjusted the gear, and started pedaling.
As I biked home, I found myself passing my old elementary school.
I stared at it as I went, remembering when I met Sodapop in first grade, the kick fights under the lunch tables, making animal masks from paper and giving them out, boasting about lunches, and waiting in the car lines for our parents to pick us up.
I turned my attention back to the sidewalk, wary of the winding path.
I fondly wondered if Sodapop and I would ever got to the same school ever again.
The rain poured on, and continued to do so when I got home, put my bike on the porch, and went inside.