Chapter Text
Something still isn't right.
Or rather, something doesn’t feel right. And Jaebeom couldn’t figure out what it was for the life of him. Sure, Youngjae was quiet throughout the whole day, but it wasn’t really out of the ordinary. Jaebeom could tell he was stressed out of his mind, but it’s not the first time that’s happened.
His moans were still there. The soft whimpering? They were all there, as cute as ever. So were the choked gasps and blunt nails gently digging into his skin. He starts to count the moles he knew were scattered across Youngjae’s waist and upwards, making sure they were all there. And they were.
It was only when he reaches his last, and favourite mole when he finally realises what it was. They were Youngjae’s beautiful, round eyes. They’ve been staring right back at him this entire time. Jaebeom struggles to tear his gaze away from the younger, but remembers he doesn’t really have a reason to.
Youngjae rarely, if not ever stares back during sex. Not for as long as he is now. In fact, he grows more and more breathless the longer they stare at each other. The last thing Jaebeom wants is to startle him, despite the strong urge to lean in and kiss him senseless.
He puts a finger on what he’s feeling right now. Frustration. With an equal part of confusion thrown into the mix. Jaebeom can’t concentrate on figuring out what the problem was while dragging out the sex, the way Youngjae loves it. He can’t take it anymore and it’s driving him insane. He fucks harder into Youngjae, over and over until the younger finally makes a mess beneath him.
Youngjae’s entire body is still trembling, lying on his side and whimpering as Jaebeom slowly pulls himself out of him.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” Youngjae pants, confused at the very abrupt end.
“You tell me,” Jaebeom says.
Youngjae doesn’t respond straight away. Jaebeom runs his fingertips up and down the curves of Youngjae’s figure to gently coax him into answering. His gaze upon the younger is way too intense, and Youngjae waits for his breathing to settle a bit more before speaking. The eye contact they shared was long gone, but Jaebeom doesn’t mind.
“You're super in love with me,” he says in a small voice. “I know you're always telling me you love me, but I believe it the most when you’re putting up with me being like this.”
“Being like what?” Jaebeom couldn't believe his ears.
“Irritable. Like that time when I got mad at you last week for opening up the chocolate I was saving for later. The ones you bought, too,” he says quietly. “That was stupid, I didn’t even apologise for that properly... I’m sorry.”
Jaebeom sighs. He does not want to remember Chocolate Tuesday.
“You make me feel wanted.”
Youngjae quickly carries on as Jaebeom’s expression changes from engaged to slightly alarmed.
“I mean, I know you’re always saying and doing things to show it but I just? I've finally come to accept it,” he says, taking in a small breath. “That this isn't a dream or some sort of cruel, elaborate prank orchestrated by Bambam. You're actually in love with me.”
All Jaebeom can do is think, trying his best to absorb and process everything he was saying. Was he not doing enough to convince Youngjae he was loved? He wasn’t exactly the type to talk about his feelings, not nearly as much as Jaebeom did. Youngjae was more of an action person. Or a nap his feelings and the problems associated with them away kind of person. But Jaebeom thought they were always at least on the same page when it came to their feelings for one another.
“And I think that deep down... I've known that since the beginning? But it was difficult to wrap my head around it at first, you know? You’re so… so hot.”
Jaebeom doesn’t dare speak, just in case Youngjae had more to say. He wanted to hear more. Youngjae reaches out to hold his boyfriend’s face in his hands and continues talking. “Thank you for letting me love you back. I know I haven’t been doing a good job at it lately. I’m working on fixing that.”
“You think I’m hot?” Jaebeom just blurts out, after waiting a few moments for everything to sink in.
Youngjae makes a noise and grabs the pillow from underneath his head to smack Jaebeom with. “Of course I do,” he hears Youngjae mumble grumpily. Laughing, he pulls the pillow off his face and finds Youngjae lying on his side, facing the wall with his back towards him. Jaebeom starts kissing at his neck but Youngjae stays put. He uses his hand to bat him away, but Jaebeom roughly grabs his shoulder, sliding his fingers down Youngjae’s arm. Jaebeom forces it back down, intertwining their fingers together and giving them a tight squeeze. Youngjae whines in protest while Jaebeom has him squished up against the wall.
“Get off me!”
“You want me to get off?”
“I know you heard me.”
“Alright, fine then,” Jaebeom croons into his ear, giving a slow thrust forward. A deep moan escapes his lips, louder than he intended it to be. It still gets the message across.
“The fuck are you doing?” Youngjae wails.
“Getting off?”
“You’re unbelievable. I open myself up and pour my entire heart and soul out and you respond by rubbing your dick up my butt!” he complains.
“You’re still as open as you’ll ever be,” Jaebeom murmurs. No... in hindsight, it’s not something he’s proud of saying, especially in their current situation. Youngjae turns around and shoots him a look of disdain before curling himself back up into a ball.
“That was really hard, you know?” Youngjae whines.
Jaebeom knows better than to make another inappropriate comment, albeit a little upset to let a second opportunity go to waste. Instead, he wraps his arms around Youngjae’s tummy, kisses the nape of his neck again and lets his second boner for the night perish.
“I know I’m always getting on your nerves, Youngjae.”
"Not always!" he interrupts, turning back to give him an accusing look. Jaebeom gives him a peck on the lips and raises his eyebrow, signalling Youngjae to let him continue.
“Loving you makes me want to be a better person. And it's because I don't want you falling in love with someone smarter than me, someone better at games than I am, or someone that doesn't make you wanna roll your eyes every five minutes."
Youngjae grins and rolls his eyes again to prove Jaebeom’s point.
“I spent a whole year trying to figure out how to win you over. I was so desperate to call you mine and now I finally can.” He tightens his hold around Youngjae’s waist and buries his face into his hair. “And I’m never going to let you go.”
“Right now, I know you’re stressed from uni and work. It doesn’t help that I do some things that annoy you from time to time, and sometimes I’m not the one at fault. But it doesn’t matter. Of course I’m super in love with you, Youngjae.”
“I know,” Youngjae whispers, breath shuddering as he hears the words out loud. He means it. God, it’s insane how fast Jaebeom’s heart is beating, Youngjae can feel it against his back, almost in sync with his own. He pulls one of Jaebeom’s hands away from his stomach and brings it to rest right on top of his own heart. The older uses his thumb to gently stroke his skin, back and forth at a lazy pace. It’s not sexual in any manner, and Youngjae silently notes it down as another small milestone they’ve achieved during their relationship.
He sets aside a moment to let his breathing settle, before repeating himself… just in case Jaebeom didn’t hear him the first time.
“I know,” he says again. “And I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t,” Jaebeom smiles. “Whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with me. Forever. It’s an executive decision, made by yours truly.”
“Aren’t you unemployed?” he teases. Jaebeom puts on his most dramatic pout.
“Who said that? I do have a job.”
“And what would that be?” Youngjae asks, brushing a stray eyelash away from Jaebeom’s cheek. He lets his hand linger and Jaebeom leans his face into his palm.
“Loving you, Youngjae. It’s the easiest job in the world.”