Chapter Text
Jim opened the shop late the next day. After dropping off the flowers earlier for the wedding party and making sure that everything met with the bride's approval, he, Selina, and Ivy had stayed to help get things set up.
Now Ivy had returned to the greenhouses and Selina had gone to get coffee and bagels while Jim opened the shop. Once he had made sure the potted plants were watered and the bunches of flowers were set out in their buckets of water, he slumped on the stool behind the counter. That was where Selina found him ten minutes later.
“Alright, what's wrong?” she asked, dumping coffee cups and a paper bag beside his head. “You've been walking around looking like the world is ending all morning.”
“Nothing,” Jim mumbled.
“Nope, not buying it,” Selina said. She examined the cups to find her latte. “Try again.”
“I'm fine,” Jim said. “Just tired.”
“Did something happen with Oswald after you dropped me and Ivy off?” Selina asked. She hopped up on the counter beside him and raked through the bag for her bagel.
“No,” Jim said, then added, “Yes.”
“Either one or the other, Jimbo. Either something happened or it didn't,” Selina said.
“I kissed him,” Jim admitted. “And told him I was grateful for his help.” He groaned and hid his face. “I probably sounded like I was propositioning him,” he said.
“Oh my god,” Selina said, laughing. “He probably thinks you have some weird glitter kink now. What did he do?”
Jim sat up and shrugged, reaching for his coffee. “Nothing. He pushed me away.”
“That's it?” Selina asked, smile fading. “You're walking around like your puppy just died because he wouldn't fuck you over a few pots of glitter?”
“That's not it,” Jim said. “I wasn't trying to seduce him or anything. He just looked so uncomfortable and I knew…”
“Knew what?” Selina asked when he didn't finish.
“I’m in love with him, Selina, and he doesn't love me,” Jim said. “And soon he's going to decide that we've pretended long enough and it's time to go back to being friends, and I'll have to pretend that everything is fine.”
Selina patted him on the shoulder, though it wasn't a comforting gesture. “I thought you were trying to convince him to make it real? Don't tell me you're giving up. What happened to the stubborn asshole who stuck to his morals even though it cost him his job at the GCPD? Who clung to his relationship with Lee way beyond the point of it being healthy?”
“Selina, this is different,” Jim said.
“The principle is the same,” she insisted. “You know what you want, so go get it. Tell him how you feel.”
“It's not that simple,” Jim argued.
“Yes, it is! You open your mouth and say words. You told me, you can tell him,” Selina replied. “Take him out somewhere special, give him a bunch of roses - he'll know the meaning of those - and then tell him you love him.”
She made it sound so simple, but doubt curled in his chest. There was so much personal risk. He'd loved Lee so much, gave her everything even after she left him and in the end, he'd only succeeded in making her hate him. He couldn't go through that with Oswald.
Selina nudged him. “Hey. Quit worrying, okay? I don't think you have anything to be afraid of.” She looked around the shop, then slid off the counter to fetch a flower from a nearby tub and held it out to Jim. “If roses are too obvious, maybe try something else?”
Jim looked at the red tulip, taking it gently from Selina. A declaration of love, he remembered. There were plenty of other romantic messages to be said with flowers, that didn't involve roses.
“Okay,” he agreed. “And now we're officially done talking about my love life.” He looked past Selina, out of the window. “Let's talk about yours instead.”
“What love life? I have no love life,” Selina blurted out, blushing.
“Oh really? I think he might beg to differ,” Jim said, indicating behind her.
Selina spun around to look outside, where Bruce was stepping out of his car while his butler held the door. The young man visibly brightened when he saw Selina watching through the window.
“I'll be in the back room,” Jim said, grabbing his bagel and coffee from the countertop.
“Don't you dare abandon- Oh, hey, Bruce…” Selina's voice followed him out of the room.
-
When Oswald rearranged their next date, Jim met him at the restaurant in a shirt and tie that Oswald had bought and gave him a bunch of red tulips. Oswald had the kitchen put them in water while they ate. Neither of them brought up the night Oswald had come to the greenhouse or the way he had pushed Jim away afterwards. Jim hoped that Oswald’s slightly more distant manner was all in his head.
At their next date, a stolen hour in a coffee shop not far from the city hall, Jim gave Oswald a posy of violets in purple to say Oswald was in his thoughts, and white to ask him to take a chance on Jim. Oswald smiled politely, but didn’t ask for their meaning as he normally would have done, and turned the conversation to other topics.
During a walk in the park, he picked a primrose from a flower bed to say that he couldn't live without Oswald. When Oswald pretended to make a fuss about vandalism, Jim simply tucked it into his buttonhole and silenced him with a kiss. They held hands for the rest of their walk, but though Oswald held on tightly and lingered longer than usual when it came time to part, he wouldn’t look him in the eye.
Jim thought things were getting better and that Oswald must be relaxing again when he made dinner reservations at an upscale restaurant, but halfway through their meal, Oswald shared his plan for a believable break up.
“We should see each other less,” Oswald said. “We can say we're too busy, then decide it would be better to call off the relationship while we're still getting along and go back to being friends.”
“Yeah,” Jim said, past the lump in his throat. “Sounds… believable.” He glanced at the butterfly orchid pinned to Oswald's lapel for love. “We do have the Wayne Enterprises event coming up. Ivy may need help in the greenhouses preparing for it.” He attempted a smile. “At least they won't want glitter.”
Oswald smiled back. “Well, that's good. I should think you've had enough of glitter to last a lifetime.”
“I'm still finding it in places glitter has no business being,” Jim grumbled.
Oswald was polite enough to keep his laughter quiet, but it was far too brief. He sobered after a moment to continue discussing their break up. “I thought perhaps one or two more dates over the next three weeks, then we put an end to this,” he said.
Jim forced himself to nod in agreement. “Yeah, okay.”
He had two more dates at most, and then it was over. Two more dates to show Oswald how he felt, and then it was back to being friends. Just Saturday morning chats and text messages.
If the goodnight kiss they shared afterwards was more desperate than usual on Jim's part, Oswald was good enough not to mention it.
-
Selina and Ivy were not the sympathetic ears Jim had hoped they would be. He didn't know why he expected any differently when he told them of the plans over the next few weeks.
“You're being too subtle,” Ivy said. “And there's something I never thought I'd say.”
They were loading flowers into the small van to take to the shop early, the morning after Oswald announced their break up timetable.
“Maybe it's not Oswald you need to make smell your perfume,” Selina said to her. “Whammy Jim just before the next date, make him tell Oswald everything.”
“Absolutely not!” Jim protested. “No interference from either of you.”
“Take roses for the next date,” Ivy said. “Everyone knows what they mean. Even Oswald will have to buy a clue.”
“What he needs is to actually talk to Oswald,” Selina said.
Jim shoved a tub of carnations at her to load into the van. “No.”
“Why not?” Selina demanded. “And why do you keep coming to us for advice you never follow?” She put the flowers in the van and turned back to him.
Jim didn't really have an answer for that.
“You're being stubborn in the wrong direction,” Selina continued, hands on her hips. “Be stubborn about not letting him go, if you're going to be stubborn at all.”
“Why are men like this?” Ivy sighed. She handed a bunch of red roses to Jim. “I mean it. Send these to Oswald.”
“What if he's not interested?” Jim asked. “I've been trying to show that I care, that I want this to be real since it started. I've done almost everything I would normally do in a relationship, but he still talks about the end, and going back to being friends.” He sighed, sitting in the back of the van while Selina and Ivy gathered around him. “I could handle being friends. At least I would still have that. But what if I tell him and it ruins everything? What if I push him too hard and he hates me for it like Lee does?” He looked down despondently at the roses in his hands.
Selina and Ivy shared a look. They'd seen the aftermath of Jim's relationship with Lee. It hadn't been pretty. Jim had been too stubborn in clinging to their failed relationship and eventually, Lee had had enough. After one last fight, just before her wedding, she'd told him she hated him and wanted nothing more to do with him. It had taken Jim a long time to move on, because he hadn't been willing to let her go. He'd been reluctant to even try pursuing anyone else for a long time after, but he had slowly relaxed. He'd started flirting again, albeit meaninglessly, with customers. At least, it had been meaningless until Oswald had walked into their shop.
The girls squeezed into the van beside him.
“He's not Lee,” Selina said. “And you're not going to push him into anything he doesn't want.” She cuddled in next to him and put her head on his shoulder.
Ivy made herself comfortable on his other side, putting her arms around him. “Isn't being happy worth the risk? What if he gives you a chance? What if he falls in love with you too?”
“Think positive, Jim,” Selina added. “Besides, if Oswald really hated the thought of dating you, he'd have picked a different fake boyfriend, right?”
“And you know you could have been doing literally anything, but you’ve been going on actual dates,” Ivy pointed out.
“He has to have something to tell Ed about when he gets home,” Jim said weakly.
Ivy and Selina shared an exasperated look.
“Right. Fine. Then you're going to make us a promise,” Selina said. “And you never break a promise, right?”
“Right,” Jim said, despite the growing trepidation he felt at Selina's tone.
“You are going to promise us that you are going to say the words “I love you, Oswald” before this mess ends, when he's actually able to hear and respond to you,” Selina said.
“And you'll actually stick around to hear what he has to say afterwards without running away,” Ivy added.
“I wouldn't run away,” Jim said, frowning.
Ivy shrugged. “Just trying to cover all the bases,” she explained.
“Now promise,” Selina said.
Jim knew he wasn't getting out of it. With a resigned sigh, he promised them both, “I'll tell Oswald I love him.”
It was easier said than done. While he appreciated Ivy’s suggestion of red roses for an unmistakable message, he still hesitated when the time came, and made a bouquet of chrysanthemums and carnations instead, decorated with a few pieces of maidenhair ferns.
They had a table reserved at a restaurant they both liked. Jim wore one of his best shirts, bought for him by Oswald, because all of Jim's best clothes had been gifts from him. He'd rehearsed what he wanted to say in front of the mirror before leaving home, and could only hope that Oswald would hear him out.
Oswald was unusually late, though. Jim sat alone at their table, occasionally sipping from a glass of water or fidgeting with the flower arrangement he had made. Red chrysanthemums to say he was in love with Oswald, and white to say it was the truth. There were red carnations for an aching heart, and white ones for pure love. The maidenhair ferns he'd embellished it with were for a secret love, though it wouldn't be a secret for much longer.
All Oswald had to do was show up.
Jim was starting to think he had been stood up when Oswald finally got to the restaurant, half an hour late.
“Terribly sorry, I got held up… business, you know. Really, I’m so sorry,” he said, not looking at Jim as he yanked out his chair to sit down. He reached for his menu. “Did you order yet or were you waiting for me?”
“Oswald? Is everything okay?” Jim asked, taking note of Oswald’s shaking hands and agitated behaviour. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing! Absolutely nothing at all,” Oswald said, finally looking up at him. He flashed a quick smile and then turned his attention back to the menu. He hadn’t even looked at the flowers.
Jim reached across the table to take one of Oswald’s hands in his own. “Oswald, you can talk to me about anything, you know. I’m here if you need me.”
Oswald looked down at their joined hands, then across the table at Jim. His mouth opened and closed a few times. Jim waited patiently for him to speak, sure that Oswald would confide in him as he usually did. He wasn’t expecting Oswald to suddenly pull away, standing up.
“I’m sorry, I have to go,” Oswald blurted out. He stumbled around the table, hurrying away from Jim as fast as his bad leg would allow.
People were staring now, but Jim paid them no mind. He froze for a moment, wondering just what was going on. But he couldn’t let Oswald just walk away from him without an explanation.
“Oswald, wait!” He chased after Oswald, catching up with him just outside the restaurant.
“Jim, I have to go,” Oswald said.
“Tell me what’s going on,” Jim demanded. He saw that Oswald’s car was waiting outside the restaurant, Gabe carefully not paying attention inside. Confusion and doubt stirred in his belly. Oswald usually dismissed his driver after getting to the restaurant, only calling him when they were leaving. Had Oswald not planned to stay for their meal after all?
“I have to go,” Oswald repeated. “I-I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore.”
“What?” No. No, he couldn’t be…
“I’m sorry. I know it’s not what we planned, but I think it’s better this way. What we have - this game of pretend - it’s over now. I know it’s sudden, and I’m sorry for wasting your time, but it’s better like this,” Oswald said. He pulled away from Jim, reaching for the car door.
“Oswald, wait! I have to tell you-”
But it was too late. The car door slammed shut as Oswald commanded Gabe to take him home, and the car pulled away, melding with the traffic until they might as well have never been there at all. Jim stood on the sidewalk and watched Oswald leave, taking Jim’s heart with him.
-
Selina and Ivy were much more sympathetic when they learned what had happened. They also swore revenge, but Jim made them promise that no one would get hurt and Ivy wasn’t allowed to use her perfumes to influence Oswald in any way.
He didn’t hear from Oswald at all, though he kept his phone by him at all times. He wanted to send a message, check that Oswald was alright, but he wasn’t sure what would be appropriate. They had been friends, and they were meant to go back to that state, but after the abrupt way Oswald had ended their charade, Jim was no longer sure where he stood with the other man. He threw himself into work as much as he could to distract himself, but there were always quiet periods in the shop, and Ivy only had so much patience for him moping around in the greenhouses.
When Saturday rolled around, Jim wasn’t sure if he should open the shop as usual or switch with Selina. In the end, Selina offered to take over for him, because she wanted a nice, quiet non-threatening word with Oswald herself. Jim didn’t entirely trust her in that regard, but in the end it didn’t matter because Oswald never showed up. The roses and lilies set aside for him went back into the tubs with the rest of their flowers late in the afternoon, after Selina gave up on seeing the mayor in their little shop.
Unwilling to bother Ivy for a full day, Jim spent the day on his sofa, staring at the television without actually watching it. He had too many questions. What had been bothering Oswald? Why did he end it between them so suddenly? How could he possibly have said it was better? Unless he knew how Jim felt about him, and had thought it was better to break his heart swiftly instead of drawing it out. At this stage, Jim didn’t know if it would have been better to have let things end as they had talked about and go back to being friends, or if it was truly better to have it end suddenly. All he knew was that he missed Oswald.
He toyed with the idea of ringing Oswald all day. His finger hovered over the call button on his phone for longer than he cared to admit. He still had his promise to keep to Selina and Ivy after all. Perhaps it would be easier to hear Oswald’s rejection over the phone instead of face to face and having him to see him walk away again.
He was so preoccupied with his despair and regrets that he barely noticed time passing until his stomach rumbled and he realised it was dark outside. He hadn't even bothered to put the light on in his apartment, too busy staring at his phone until the screen went dark and then turning it on again as he gathered the courage to call or text Oswald.
At some point during the afternoon a rainstorm had started. It seemed fitting somehow, the skies crying the tears Jim wouldn't. Finally, he got up and put the light on to get something to eat from the kitchen, fixing himself a bowl of cereal because anything else felt like it would be too much effort. Even then, he lost his appetite after a few spoonfuls and found himself staring at the water running down the outside of the window, listening to the sound of raindrops hitting the glass while his cereal went soggy in front of him.
Rapid knocking at his door startled Jim into spilling the milk from his bowl. He dropped the bowl in the sink, cereal and all, on his way to the door. It was probably Selina or Ivy checking in on him, so he didn't feel the need to hurry.
But the dripping wet figure on the other side of the door wasn't either of the girls.
“Oswald?”
“Hello, old friend.” Oswald smiled at him miserably, leaning heavily on his cane. He was pale and shaking in his wet clothes, umbrella nowhere to be seen.
It took Jim a moment to recover, but then he stood aside to let him in. “You must be freezing. Let me find you some towels.”
“I don't want to trouble you,” Oswald said, even as he stepped over the threshold. “I just… There's something I need to say.”
“It can wait until you're warm and dry,” Jim said firmly. “I'm not having you get hypothermia because you think a conversation is more important.” He gestured Oswald toward the sofa and went to fetch some towels from the bathroom, giving himself a moment to compose himself at the same time.
Oswald was here, in his apartment.
While Oswald had had his driver drop him outside the building plenty of times, he had never come inside. Now Jim was keenly aware of the simplicity of his living arrangements in contrast to Oswald's mansion.
Oswald was standing in the middle of his living room, dripping water on the carpet. He hadn't even taken off his coat. He looked so uncertain and unhappy that Jim wanted nothing more than to take him in his arms and reassure him that everything would be alright.
He didn't. After the way Oswald had left him, he didn't know if such a thing would be welcome.
“Take your coat off,” Jim said, handing Oswald a couple of towels.
Oswald silently did as he was told, exchanging his soaked coat for dry towels. He didn't look Jim in the eye as he did so, gaze flitting between Jim's chest and the rest of the apartment. Jim was suddenly acutely aware of his own state of dress, not having bothered to change out of the tank top and sweatpants he had slept in the night before.
“Maybe I should find you a change of clothes. You're soaked to the skin,” Jim said, seeing that even under the coat, Oswald was wet. “Hold on, I'm sure I've got something you can wear.”
“You don't need to go to such trouble for me,” Oswald said, but Jim was already going back to his bedroom to rake through his drawers.
He returned with an old t-shirt and some sweatpants with a drawstring. “You can change in the bathroom,” he said.
“You really shouldn't trouble yourself, old friend,” Oswald said quietly, but he took the clothes all the same.
“It's what friends do,” Jim replied, finally giving in to the desire to touch Oswald, even if it was just a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Come on, bathroom’s this way.”
Jim led Oswald to the bathroom and waited outside while he changed.
If Jim tried, he could hear the sound of clothes rustling as Oswald stripped himself of his wet suit. Then he swiftly turned his thoughts away from the direction they were heading. Sweatpants would not hide the erection he was sure to get if he let himself think about the fact that Oswald was naked in his bathroom.
“So how did you get soaked like that? I would have thought Gabe would have stopped right outside the door, especially in this weather,” Jim said, leaning by the door.
“There was a car accident a few blocks away from here,” Oswald said. “Traffic’s been stopped in all directions while they sort it out. I thought I would get here faster if I walked, so I left Gabe and told him to go home at the first opportunity. But I left in such a hurry to see you that I left my umbrella behind.”
The bathroom door opened. Jim's clothes hung off Oswald's smaller frame, and his hair was mussed from drying it with the towel, giving him a vulnerable look. He had an uncertain expression on his face, holding his neatly folded clothes.
“I wasn't sure where to put these,” he said.
“I'll hang them up,” Jim offered, taking them from Oswald. “Go make yourself comfortable on the sofa.”
As Oswald limped back to the living room, Jim hung his clothes up in the small utility room by the kitchen. Oswald’s sudden arrival had Jim feeling tense, but he was slowly starting to relax again as he distracted himself, but he still didn't know why Oswald had come. He was grateful for something to do other than talk about what had happened between them though. At least, until he found Oswald's underwear in the pile of clothes. The boxer briefs were damp, and soft and he could perfectly imagine Oswald wearing them.
And then he abruptly cut that train of thought, because now he was thinking about the fact that Oswald wasn't wearing underwear under his borrowed sweatpants.
Jim hung the rest of the clothes up hurriedly and then went to take a moment to compose himself. He didn't want to face Oswald when he was still thinking about the other man's underwear hanging in the other room.
But the way Oswald was curled miserably on his sofa chased all other thoughts out of Jim's head. He was hugging his good knee to his chest, biting the end of his thumbnail. He looked up when Jim came in and flashed him a brief smile.
Jim sat at the other end of the sofa. “You feel better now?”
“Yes, thank you,” Oswald replied. “I feel like you're being more kind than I deserve, after the way I ran out on you the other day.”
“You were upset about something. I'm still hoping for an explanation,” Jim said. “But I won't push you for one,” he added, seeing the worried expression on Oswald's face.
Oswald didn't relax, but he nodded. “Thank you,” he said quietly.
“So… you said you had something you had to say to me?” Jim asked.
Oswald nodded, straightening up. He looked at Jim, but wouldn't meet his eyes as he said, “We can't break up.”
“What?” Jim asked, voice barely above a whisper.
Oswald took a deep breath. “Ed and Isabella… they're determined that we be happy. So we can't break up. I told them the story we agreed on, that it was a mutual decision, but they said that if I lo- care for you, then I should fight for this. For us. So. We can't break up yet.”
Jim was silent for a long moment. He wanted to say yes, just as he had before, and go back to being Oswald's fake boyfriend if that was all he would get. But now he knew how badly it would hurt when it was all over for real.
“I know I'm asking a lot of you, and if you say no then that will be the end of it,” Oswald said. “It's just… things got better with Ed after I said… well, after I let him believe we were dating. And he and Isabella wanted to double date again sometime and I…”
Oswald was still talking, but Jim had tuned him out. Of course this was all about Edward. Jim had never stood a chance. Everything had been about saving Oswald's friendship with that man, even though it wouldn't evolve into the more romantic relationship he wished for.
Jim understood now. He found himself wanting to do anything to save what he could of his friendship with Oswald. Even if it meant letting himself get hurt.
“Jim? Are you alright?” Oswald's hesitant question brought Jim out of his despairing thoughts.
“Have you thought about telling Edward the truth? That this was faked over a misunderstanding?” Jim asked instead of giving an answer.
Oswald's face fell, and he turned his gaze away. “That's a no to getting back together, isn't it?”
“We were never really together in the first place,” Jim pointed out.
Oswald flinched as if struck. “I guess you're right,” he murmured. “I should get out of your hair,” he added, standing up.
Jim glanced out of the window, where he could see it was still raining heavily. Oswald would get soaked again if he left now. “Stay the night,” he said, before he'd really thought about it.
Oswald turned to look at him so sharply Jim thought he would lose his balance. “What?”
Jim indicated the window with a nod of his head. “It's still pouring with rain, and your clothes will still be wet. You’ll get sick if you go now,” he said.
Oswald looked uncertainly out of the window. “I wouldn't want to put you to any trouble,” he said.
Jim sighed. “You keep saying that, and I’m going to keep saying that it's no trouble to help out a friend. I'm not going to let you get sick, so stay the night. You can take the bed, and I'll sleep out here on the sofa.”
Oswald looked at him with wide eyes. “Oh, no, no, I couldn't possibly take your bed from you. I'm sure the sofa will be fine.”
Jim shook his head and stood up. “Take the bed, Oswald. Come on, it's this way.” He walked off without listening to any more of Oswald’s protests, heart hammering wildly in his chest.
Oswald was staying the night. He would be in Jim's bed. Would the sheets smell of him in the morning?
Behind him, he heard the tap of Oswald’s cane following him. It seemed Oswald had given up on protesting, which Jim was glad of. The thought of Oswald in his bed, even just sleeping, did funny things to Jim's heart.
“You can sleep here,” Jim said. He walked over to the closet to find some spare sheets and a pillow to take through to the living room. When there was no response, protest or otherwise, Jim looked over at Oswald, who had frozen in the doorway. “Are you feeling alright?”
“Um. Yes, of course.” Oswald said distractedly. He was staring at Jim's bed, a blush spread over his cheeks and a glazed look in his eyes.
“You look flushed. Are you getting sick?” Jim asked. He dropped the spare sheets on the bed and crossed the room to press a hand to Oswald’s forehead.
“I'm quite well, I assure you,” Oswald said hurriedly. “I just… I don't want you to be uncomfortable on the sofa all night. I know you've fallen asleep there before, and you'll be sore when you wake up in the morning.” He glanced at the bed and then back to Jim. “I couldn't do that to such a dear friend so… why don't we share the bed? It's big enough that we shouldn't bother each other in the night, right?”
It took a moment to process what Oswald was suggesting. Share the bed. Jim looked over at the bed. Oswald was clearly going to be the death of him.
“I guess. If you're sure,” Jim said before his brain had fully caught up with his mouth.
Oswald brightened. “Good. I would hate to think of you suffering all night because of me.”
Jim bit his tongue on a response regarding the manner of his nightly suffering, because sharing the bed with Oswald would only lead to different parts of him aching all night.
“I'll text Ed to let him know what's happening,” Oswald said, turning away. “I at least know when to let him know when I'm staying out all night,” he muttered.
Jim let him go on ahead while he put the sheets back in the closet. He'd just agreed to share his bed with Oswald. Tonight was going to be a special kind of torture.
After Oswald had texted Ed, they turned in for the night. It was late, and Jim had been left exhausted by the emotional turmoil caused by Oswald's sudden arrival.
Yet Jim couldn't sleep. He was hyper aware of Oswald next to him. He faced the wall and pretended to sleep, but couldn't help listening to Oswald's steady breathing over the sound of the rain outside. He wasn't sure if he was imagining being able to feel his warmth, but he wanted to roll over and immerse himself in it, wrap himself around Oswald and breathe in the scent of his aftershave.
If they were dating, he would have done it. But they weren't, so he didn't. They weren't even fake dating anymore.
Jim shifted restlessly. He could go back to pretending to date Oswald, if he simply told Oswald that he agreed with his plan. But things would change. Oswald spending the night now would mean he would be expected to spend the night again in the future. Jim might be expected to spend the night at the mansion, and they would definitely have to share Oswald's bed there. They wouldn't be able to hide sleeping separately from Edward.
"Jim?"
If Oswald coming back to his apartment after dates became a part of their routine, it would only be harder to resist doing all the things Jim wanted to do to him. If Oswald spent the night in his bed, it was inevitable that they would one day wake up with Jim wrapped around him and Oswald feigning politeness and suggesting that maybe it was time they ended their pretence, thanks for the help, see you around sometime and that would be it.
"Jim? Are you alright?"
Jim rolled over. "I can't do this."
In the darkness, he could make out Oswald staring at him. "I can go out to the sofa if you prefer?" he said in a quiet voice, after a moment's pause.
"No, that's not... I meant the fake relationship," Jim clarified. "I can't keep pretending that we're dating, so my answer is no."
"Oh. I see. I-"
"Not when I want it to be real," Jim finished, cutting off Oswald's shaky voice.
“Jim… what are you saying?”
Jim sat up, bracing himself for rejection. “I'm saying… that I love you, Oswald.” He took a deep breath, feeling something loosen in his chest at being able to get the words out. He pressed on before Oswald could say anything. “And it's been getting harder to pretend that it is all pretend on my end. I thought I could handle it, when this started, but I didn't know I'd fall in love with you so completely, and even now I want to say yes and go back to being in a fake relationship if that’s all I can have of you, but if you're still in love with Ed, if you're thinking of him every time we kiss, then I don't think I can do this any longer.” Jim stopped, aware suddenly that he had been rambling, revealing far more than he had intended.
"Jim..." Oswald's voice had gone all breathless.
"I can go sleep on the sofa if you're too uncomfortable," Jim said, turning to do just that. He was shaking, and hoped desperately that Oswald couldn't tell in the dark.
"Don't you dare!" Oswald said, lunging for him. "Jim, I didn't know, didn't think you could feel like that for me. I thought you were just acting."
"Oswald?" Jim hesitated, then let Oswald pull him back to face him.
“I've never once thought of Ed while we were kissing. I never had anyone else in my mind except for you, and the wish for you to never stop.” Oswald gently cupped Jim's face, his thumb brushing away a tear Jim hadn't even realised had fallen. Oswald himself had tears running down his face, shining in the dim light provided by both Jim's alarm clock and the streetlamp outside. “I do love Ed,” he confessed. “He’s my best friend. But it's not the same as the love I feel for you.”
Jim opened his mouth to speak, but there were no words. Oswald took advantage of his speechlessness to close the gap between them and press a gentle kiss to Jim's parted lips.
With a gasp, almost a sob, Jim kissed back as if trying to pour all his love into this one act. He pressed Oswald back down against the bed, kissing him until he was breathless.
Oswald opened up beneath him, letting Jim lick into his mouth and slot his thigh between Oswald's legs. Oswald gripped Jim's tank top tightly, rubbing himself against Jim's leg, uncaring of how it might seem, as the atmosphere turned from being emotionally charged to something more passionate.
When they parted for a moment, both were panting. It was too dark for Jim to see the flush he knew would be painting Oswald's face. Oswald whimpered beneath him.
"Don't stop," he whined.
"How far do you want to take this?" Jim asked. "Because I don't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable." He slid a hand under the t-shirt Oswald was wearing, feeling warm skin. “I’ve been waiting so long for what’s between us to be real, I don’t want to ruin it so soon.”
Oswald shivered. "You’re not ruining anything, Jim. I want to do everything with you. Anything. Just, please, if you leave me wanting like every other time you've kissed me, I'm going to castrate you."
Jim laughed quietly, hardly able to believe this was really happening. “As you wish," he said. He kissed Oswald again, pushing his thigh up against Oswald.
Oswald groaned, grinding against Jim with increasing desperation. Jim gasped into his mouth, pushing the t-shirt up, desperate to feel bare skin. Oswald squirmed, making a little noise of protest, and Jim backed off.
"Oswald?"
"Sorry, I'm not... Not like you. Not... Not..." He tugged the t-shirt down. "Not attractive. You're so... and I'm not."
"Idiot," Jim said fondly. "I think you're gorgeous. You'll always be beautiful to me. But if you'd rather keep it on, you can."
"Are you taking yours off?" Oswald asked, and the hope in his voice made Jim grin.
“If you like.” At Oswald’s eager nod, Jim sat up fully, shifting to kneel between Oswald's legs, and pulled his t-shirt over his head. Oswald raised his hands as if to touch him, but held back uncertainly. Jim gently took hold of his wrists and pressed his slender hands against his chest.
"You can touch if you want to. I don't like being pinched and nipped, but anything else is fine," Jim said.
In the darkness, Oswald nodded again. "Okay." He ran his hands over Jim's chest, trailed fingertips down his sides and smirked when Jim squirmed. "You're ticklish?"
"Don't get any ideas," Jim warned.
Oswald giggled. "Okay." He pressed a little firmer as he continued his explorations with his hands. He only hesitated when he reached the tip of Jim's boxers. For a long moment he stared at the tent in the fabric.
"We don't have to do anything you don't want," Jim reassured him.
Oswald looked up at the soft smile on Jim's face. "What about what you want?" he asked.
"I want everything, want to do everything with you, but I’m not going to ask you for more than you’re willing to give," Jim said. "I want to be sure you're not going to regret any of this in the morning. So if you want to touch me, then you can, and if you'd rather we both just sleep then we will."
Oswald nodded, then very deliberately wrapped his hand around Jim's clothed erection. "I don't want to sleep."
Jim gasped and tried not to buck into his grip. "Okay." He gasped again as Oswald experimentally moved his hand up and down, and again when he decided the fabric was getting in the way, pulling them down to expose Jim's cock.
Oswald's confidence seemed to grow with every encouraging gasp and groan he pulled from Jim.
"Is this alright?" Oswald asked. "I don't… um." He trailed off, clearly embarrassed.
"You're doing good," Jim replied, voice hoarse with arousal. "Can I..?" He shifted and trailed his hand up Oswald's leg to rest it over his hip, close to his straining erection.
"Please," Oswald said desperately, letting go of Jim. He gasped loudly when Jim moved his sweatpants down to free his cock.
Jim pulled them off completely, mindful of Oswald’s bad leg. He could barely make out scars and twisted bone in the dim lighting, but didn’t stop to focus on it. He’d noticed that Oswald was self-conscious about it, and didn’t want to give him a reason to think about it right now. Instead, he dropped both Oswald’s and his own sweatpants at the end of the bed and moved back up to take Oswald’s cock in his hand.
"Good?" Jim asked, moving his hand slowly.
Oswald groaned in response, bucking his hips upwards as his own grip on Jim faltered. "Please, Jim."
"Please what?" Jim asked. "Faster?" He sped up his movements. "Slower?" He slowed down again.
Oswald whined and pushed upwards. "Kiss me, I need-"
Jim bent down and kissed him hungrily. Oswald clutched at him desperately, short nails digging into Jim’s shoulders. He thrust his hips upwards frantically, and cursed when Jim removed his hand.
"Not yet," Jim murmured against Oswald's mouth. "I just got you in my bed. I intend to enjoy myself." He pressed another kiss to Oswald's mouth, and trailed more along his jaw and down his neck until he reached the collar of the t-shirt. His hands traced warm patterns over his hips.
"Jim..."
Jim moved down, kissing Oswald's chest and stomach through the t-shirt. Oswald squirmed, then let out a frustrated noise and pushed him back.
"Hang on.." He took the t-shirt off. "Too warm," he muttered, looking away. Jim would have bet good money that he was blushing.
Jim only smiled fondly and repeated his kisses on Oswald's bare skin. "You're lovely," he said. "All of you, head to toes. Lovely eyes, lovely mouth, lovely body, lovely cock." He punctuated this with a kiss to the tip of Oswald's erection, causing the other man to gasp again. Jim swiped his tongue over the head, drawing a groan out of Oswald.
Jim grinned at Oswald's responsiveness, and drew his cock into his mouth.
"Jim!" Oswald's hands found Jim's hair and tangled in the short locks. "Oh God."
Jim slowly bobbed his head up and down, drawing his tongue over the smooth skin. Oswald let out a high-pitched keening, gripping Jim's hair almost too painfully. When Jim thought he was close to his climax, he drew back, not wanting to finish this so soon.
"Can I try something else?" he asked. "If you don't enjoy it, I'll stop as soon as you give the word."
Panting, Oswald nodded. "If you think it will feel good," he said.
Jim reached over to the nightstand, and pulled a bottle of lube out of the drawer. "This will feel strange at first," he warned, sitting back up. He poured some on his fingers and reached between Oswald's legs. His slick fingers found Oswald's entrance. "Is this okay?" he asked as Oswald tensed.
"Fine," Oswald gasped. "Just... Unexpected. And cold."
"Sorry. It'll warm up soon," Jim promised. He circled Oswald's entrance with a fingertip and gently pressed inside. "Relax, I know it feels weird at first, but it will get better."
Oswald nodded, and some of the tension left his body. "Have you -?"
"I've been on both sides of this," Jim said. "Just not for a long time."
Oswald nodded and wriggled. "It's... Odd. Not unpleasant, though."
"Just wait," Jim said, smirking. He pressed deeper, then withdrew and added another finger. When both were deep inside Oswald, he crooked his fingers.
Oswald cried out in surprise and pleasure. "Jim!"
"So you like that?" Jim teased. He rubbed his fingers over the little bundle of nerves again, causing Oswald to writhe and cry out again.
"Don't. Tease," Oswald bit out, trying to push back with his hips. "Please, Jim!"
Jim spent some more time preparing Oswald with two fingers, then added a third. When Oswald was writhing and gasping beneath him, entrance slick with lube, Jim withdrew his fingers completely. He grabbed a condom from the nightstand. "Do you want-?"
"Yes, damn it, fuck me or-or something! Please, Jim, don't you dare stop," Oswald said, pleading and commanding all at once.
Jim laughed softly and fumbled in the darkness to roll the condom on and rubbed lube-slick fingers over his cock. "Are you sure you want this?" he asked Oswald. Not half an hour ago, their relationship hadn't even been real, though it may as well have been. He worried this was going too quickly, but trusted Oswald to know his own mind. Oswald had just confessed to loving him as well, after all.
"Yes, I'm sure and if you ask again, I'm going to kill you," Oswald said. He shifted, spreading his legs wider in invitation.
Jim lined himself up and pushed slowly against the ring of muscle, gasping as the head of his cock slid inside. Oswald whimpered, and he froze.
"It's fine. Just a bit uncomfortable. I'll be fine," Oswald said. "Keep going."
Jim rocked back, then forwards, edging in slowly to give Oswald time to adjust. When he was finally seated all the way in, he paused, looking down at Oswald.
"Okay?"
Oswald nodded. "Yes, I just feel... Full," he said. He wriggled his hips a little, drawing a groan from Jim. He smirked, and did it again.
Jim drew back and thrust back in with a little more force, equal parts punishment and pleasure. Oswald cursed, and for a moment, Jim thought he had hurt him.
"Again, please, Jim," Oswald begged.
Jim obeyed, grinning. "Good?" he asked, pausing again.
"You know it is, you infuriating beast," snarled Oswald, bucking his hips lightly. "Move!"
Jim laughed, dipping his head to kiss him, resuming his movements at a more leisurely pace. Oswald tangled his fingers in his hair, gasping into his mouth with every brush of Jim's cock against his prostate.
Jim trailed kisses along Oswald's jaw, down his neck and along his shoulders, anywhere he could reach. His hands ran across Oswald's bare skin, revelling in being able to touch as much as he wanted. “God, I love you,” he muttered into Oswald’s neck. “Love you so much.”
Beneath him, Oswald made helpless little noises, moving his hips in time with Jim's thrusts. His cock was trapped between them, smearing precum over both of them, but the friction wasn't quite enough to get him off.
"Jim... Jim, please, I need..."
Jim grasped Oswald's cock with one hand, pumping in time with his thrusts. He smeared precum over the head with his thumb, grinning at the whimper and hissed "Yessss..." that Oswald let out.
It didn't take much to bring Oswald over the edge. He spilled over Jim's hand and his own belly with a cry, back bowed and body taut.
As Oswald twitched and came down from his orgasm, Jim reached his own climax, thrusting deep with a groan. He lay with his face buried in Oswald's neck, panting.
"That was..." Oswald seemed to run out of words.
"Yeah." Jim stayed put for another moment, then pulled his softening cock from Oswald's body. "Stay here. I'll be back in a moment."
"What..?"
Jim got up and padded to the bathroom in the dark. He had to put the light on to find what he was looking for though, squinting in the sudden brightness. He disposed of his condom, and turned on the hot tap to let the water warm up a little. When he returned to Oswald, it was with a damp washcloth and a towel.
"Jim?" Oswald asked, sitting up on his elbows.
"You don't want to sleep like that," Jim said. "It won't be nice in the morning." He gently wiped down Oswald's belly, sliding the warm cloth over his cock as well. Then he dried Oswald off and threw the towel and cloth in the direction of the bathroom.
Oswald hummed in appreciation, smiling sleepily. Jim lay beside him and pulled him close. Oswald happily cuddled into him.
“I love you,” Oswald murmured. “I didn't say it properly before.” His fingers traced invisible patterns delicately on Jim's chest.
“I love you too,” Jim replied, pressing a kiss to the top of Oswald’s head.
There was silence for a moment and then Oswald spoke again. “While we're confessing things to each other… there is something I should probably tell you.”
“Oh?” Jim squinted down at Oswald suspiciously in the dark. “What is it?”
“You remember when I came to ask you to pretend to be my boyfriend? I said that Ed and Isabella had misheard me, but… well. They didn't. I told them we were together,” Oswald said quietly.
“Okay,” Jim said, confused. “But why did you lie to them? And then to me?”
“Because… I thought Edward might relax more if he thought I was over him, and then things could go back to the way they were,” Oswald admitted quietly. “And then they spent the next couple of days asking me about bringing you home for dinner and I kept thinking about what it could be like if we were dating, and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted it for real. So I said I'd ask if you would come. I only told you there’d been a misunderstanding because it was less pathetic than the truth.”
“I really don’t know what to say to that,” Jim said. “You were trying to trick me into dating you?”
“I did trick you into dating me,” Oswald said.
Jim snorted. “Some trick. I was already half in love with you. I’d have done it anyway.”
“Oh.”
Jim felt Oswald’s lips curl into a smile against his chest. He ran a hand through Oswald’s hair, feeling how soft it was after all the product had been washed out.
“There's something I'm curious about, though,” Jim said, a little hesitantly. He didn't want to spoil the loving mood, but he had to know.
“Yes?” Oswald replied with some trepidation.
“When you left me in the restaurant… why did you go?” Jim asked, looking down at the top of Oswald’s head.
Oswald hesitated before he answered. “I left because… I love you,” he said quietly.
“I'm going to need you to explain that, because I really don't follow your logic,” Jim replied, confused.
“We were going to end our arrangement, and though I'd tried to maintain some distance between us, I couldn't. I love you too much,” Oswald said quietly. “And each date was torment. You were perfect and I knew I couldn't have that, couldn't keep you from finding someone you really loved, so I thought… better to get it over with.” He looked up at Jim, gaze pleading with him to understand and forgive him. “I thought all your sweetness and flowers were part of the act we were putting on.”
Jim reached for Oswald's hand and brought it up to his lips to kiss his knuckles. “Oswald,” he began seriously. “While I'm flattered by your belief in my abilities, I'm really not that good an actor.” He smiled, rubbing his thumb over Oswald's hand gently.
Oswald giggled, shifting until he could wipe his eyes with his free hand.
“You're ridiculous,” Jim said. “But I love it. Love you.”
“I am not ridiculous,” Oswald protested.
“You broke up with me because you love me. That's the opposite of what you're supposed to do when you're in love,” Jim pointed out. “Therefore, you are ridiculous.”
“You didn't tell me you were in love with me,” Oswald argued.
“Red tulips,” Jim countered. “Mean a declaration of love. Orchids mean love, too. The red chrysanthemums I had for you the day you left me mean I love you and the rest of the flowers reinforced that.”
“Give me roses next time. I'll get it then,” Oswald snapped, though he was smiling.
Jim laughed at that, hugging Oswald closer to him.
“I'm sorry,” Oswald said. “I've caused you nothing but pain these last few days. I have no idea how I'll ever make it up to you.”
“I have a few ideas,” Jim replied, smirking. He shifted suggestively against Oswald.
Oswald giggled, burying his face in Jim's chest. “I should have come clean so much earlier. We could have been doing this for days. Weeks, even.”
Jim shrugged, glanced at the clock and then said, “Well, if you give me half an hour or so, we can start making up for lost time.”
“And tomorrow is Sunday,” Oswald said. “I don't have anything scheduled on Sundays.”
“And we're closed on Sundays, so I have nowhere to go,” Jim said, a smile spreading across his face at the prospect of spending a day in bed with his lover.
“A full day together,” Oswald murmured, sounding almost giddy.
Jim captured one of Oswald’s hands and brought it up to his lips, pressing kisses to the knuckles. “And then all the time in the world after that.”
They fell asleep together, still entwined, feeling happy and safe, and most of all, loved.