Chapter Text
Soma squeezed his shaking hand into a tight fist. He was barely able to hold himself back; he was so raw with desire. In the past, he’d tasted blood and wanted more. This situation was much the same concept. Only now, his want of Geom Mugeuk was even more disruptive than his desire for carnage. His yearning for Geom Mugeuk was similar to his indisputable need to massacre.
Before Geom Mugeuk, Soma could confidently say that he’d never wanted anything like when he wanted to kill. Now, he coveted both Geom Mugeuk and killing with an unhinged sense of ardor. The disastrous fact was that Geom Mugeuk overshadowed his will to kill, even subduing it. He could easily hold his killing intent if it was for his Young Master. No one had held that power over him before, not even Geom Woojin. Geom Woojin had certainly caged him to rein in his killings, but he lacked the ability to outright prevent it. Unlike his son, who could force Soma to suppress his urges for murder with a simple word. For all these reasons, Soma’s desire for Geom Mugeuk was as strong as it was immeasurable. The situation was insanity laced with reality: his driving desire for the Young Cult Leader was insanity, and reality was that Geom Mugeuk denied him despite that irrational desire.
The situation was tantamount to physically facing his longing, nay, having that longing within his physical reach, but being unable to so much as touch what he yearned for. It was infuriating, and he didn’t know how to cope. How could you want something right in front of you and be unable to touch it?
At least bloodshed was easy: it revolved around a mood and a catalyst. He needed both to trigger him to slaughter. Sometimes it was a low threshold, sometimes it was high. In his younger years, it was certainly on the lower end. Now that he’d experienced so much, he liked to believe that he had more restraint over himself. Additionally, over the years, he’d let himself go and indulged in his need for destruction to tide him over in the times between finding the right mood and catalyst. Soma liked to believe he now had the forbearance to even withhold the need to annihilate.
Needing Geom Mugeuk wasn’t easily maintained, and he didn’t even have the capacity to control his desire. He’d barely had a sip and was already parched like a man stranded in the desert. Additionally, there was no catalyst to spark the desire; there was only the mood to have his way with the Young Cult Leader, and, unfortunately, that mood influenced him whenever he thought of Geom Mugeuk at length. He couldn’t help it. It was uncontrollable. Whenever he thought of the Young Cult Leader, his passion boiled to an uncontrollable degree, and that passion wasn’t limited to sexual desire. He didn’t have a word for what he wanted from Geom Mugeuk, or if he did, he suffered from lethologica. The closest thing he could call it was perhaps ownership: he wanted to own Geom Mugeuk on every level. He wanted the Young Cult Leader to rely only on him. To say Soma was jealous of Geom Mugeuk’s need for other people was an understatement. Perhaps that is the real reason he’d started stalking him, though he’d never admit that out loud, least of all to Geom Mugeuk.
Geom Mugeuk was many things, but what caught his attention most were his constant contradictions. He claimed to be kind to many but could mercilessly kill those he deemed ‘bad.’ (Soma was reluctant to use the term ‘evil’ because Geom Mugeuk seemed to tolerate him well enough, and he would not yield his ‘Evil’ title.) The Young Cult Leader was always surrounded by people but gave off a lonely presence, as if no one was on his side. While he acted weak, he had so much skill, power, and intuition that he gave off the vibe of a seasoned fighter, not the young man he actually was. He was a dichotomy that withstood everything that was thrown at him. Soma didn’t know what to do with the man when he was so completely overwhelmed by every minuscule element of his presence. They had also gone through thick and thin together, so much so that Soma had even willingly given up Cheng Myeon to Geom Mugeuk, despite how important he was to the Faceless Swordsman. Soma was so enthralled by Geom Mugeuk that he hadn’t even punished Cheng Myeon for leaving to Geom Mugeuk’s benefit.
It was as though something had taken hold of Soma’s heart and mind and made him do unthinkable things in the name of the Young Cult Leader. Things he would have never done for anyone before or after the young man.
On top of that, he was experiencing regret for the first time in his life, though it wasn’t in the capacity that was traditionally expected of regret. While he regretted acting on his impulse to taste Geom Mugeuk last night, it was not out of melancholy for risking their relationship. Rather, it was because now he’d had a sample of the delectable Geom Mugeuk, he was insatiable in his lust for him. Now he knew what Geom Mugeuk tasted like. He’d never be able to go back to the time before that overwhelming understanding. The experience had fractured his resolve to hold himself back. It was better never to have experienced it at all than to experience it and be unable to do so again.
The worst part was that future couplings were nigh on impossible because Geom Mugeuk was so adamant that their exchange was a one-time occurrence. The Young Cult Leader was no doubt burdened by the experience and viewed it as a weakness. But not Soma. It was an achievement of the highest class, an execution of his obsession.
His eyes rolled back in ecstasy at the thought of Geom Mugeuk below him again, writhing in passion. His erection strained his pants now, leaving him breathless. He let out an unsteady, slow breath and clenched his still shaking hand tighter. The tension in his hand was enough to leave four half-moon marks in his palm from his nails. Just a little more pressure and he would bleed.
Normally by now, he’d have found the time to stalk Geom Mugeuk to satisfy his wishes to see the Young Cult Leader. But now he raised the problem that he couldn’t go out like this. The fact of the matter was that he wasn’t strong enough to hold himself back. If he saw Geom Mugeuk in his current state, he would need to bear the burden.
So, instead, he stayed in the Valley of the Wicked, staring at the white wall with a line in it (the line they had cut together), in his now furnished room (that Geom Mugeuk had begun to furnish), where everything reminded him of Geom Mugeuk. Like his room, his heart had been tampered with by Geom Mugeuk. The most chilling issue was that the transition from not needing to needing Geom Mugeuk had been so gradual that he hadn’t noticed any signs until it was too late. By now, he was too far gone to do anything about the matter. Geom Mugeuk instilled a desire in him to experience things he’d denied himself for so long. If Geom Mugeuk weren’t so intoxicating, Soma would have spit blood at how captivated he found himself to be. There was no escape from the Young Cult Leader now, even without his physical presence. That is how lost he was.
Despite Soma falling easily into the mechanics of staring at the wall, training didn’t come easily to him. Only the unsolicited images of Geom Mugeuk in the throes of passion filled his eyes, far too colorful compared to the white of the wall that haunted him.
While Soma had desired Geom Mugeuk for a while now, he’d never assumed they would be so compatible. Soft yet sharp was the best way to describe the Young Cult Leader. He was too soft with his views on morality, but he had the sharpness of a blade to defend that softness. Soma had assumed his gentleness would cloud his passions, making him lean toward a more conventional sexual appetite, and it did to some extent. It may have even made Geom Mugeuk weak to soft touches in intimacy, but surprisingly, it also made him weak to his sexual partner’s wants and needs. It also beautifully made him more susceptible to Soma’s dark suggestions. The compatibility came in the fact that even though Geom Mugeuk was impressionable, he also seemed to enjoy what Soma did to him.
He wanted to see how far he could push Geom Mugeuk before he would break. Soma loved to break things. Especially things as perfect as the Young Cult leader. Perhaps that added to his obsession. The fact that he hadn’t come close to pushing Geom Mugeuk to his limits made him desperate to see how far he could go. Geom Mugeuk had clung to him so desperately, no matter what he’d done. He also encouraged him to fulfill his desires and act on his wants, no matter how debauched. Soma had never seen someone who didn’t have the same inclinations as him so eager to try things and so comfortable with his urgings. The fact that they shared such a unique preexisting friendship only made his blood boil all the more readily.
The question was what he could do now? Faced with Geom Mugeuk’s clear dismissal, he should respect the Young Cult Leader’s wishes and let him be. He should do so out of respect for their friendship and out of deference to his position. He should learn to control his appetite and allow the two of them to continue on as they always had. The problem was that these were things he should do. He did not want to do any of them.
The Evil Smiling Demon was many things; relentless was just one of them. When he wanted something, he got it. Even if he had to bide his time to wait. Anything worth having must be hard won and fought for. Geom Mugeuk was no different. What he wanted to do was to pursue Geom Mugeuk relentlessly until he got what he wanted. (Though, honestly, he wasn’t certain to what extent he wanted Geom Mugeuk. It wasn’t yet that explicit a thought.) He wanted to work Geom Mugeuk down until all that was left was submission. But to do that, he needed an appropriate plan. Sheer forceful advancement on the other man would not work at all. Geom Mugeuk was sharp after all and would defend himself accordingly. But just like he had to whittle Geom Mugeuk down to accept his friendship, he would do the same for this. He needed to fight with softness and subtlety to entrap Geom Mugeuk. Or at least to ensnare him as well, as he, the Evil Smiling Demon, was enmeshed.
***
Soma was summoned by the Heavenly Demon. Nonetheless, he glared down at the offending piece of paper that dictated his summons as he walked toward the inner sanctum of the cult and the Heavenly Demon Pavilion, before slipping it into his clothes. It wasn’t a formal summons, but the chilling part was the suspicious timing. Soma didn’t believe in coincidence. He was too clever for that. He believed in reading and analyzing the situation. It’s what made him so shrewd in his dealings with people.
Ultimately, it had only been a day since his relations with the Cult Leader’s son, and now he was being summoned by the Cult Leader himself. And after that full day, Soma, as one of the Demon Supremes, had noticed something unusual about the information passing throughout the cult. The Heavenly Communication Pavilion was clearly working diligently on the matter. There was talk about him leaving Geom Mugeuk’s residence at an unusual hour. This was especially troubling since he’d been intentionally stealthy about his departure that morning. By all intents and purposes, he should not have been discovered unless it involved the Heavenly Communication Pavilion. It was as frustrating as it was off-putting.
Soma strode into the Heavenly Demon Pavilion and up the Path of Blood with the slightest trepidation about the encounter that would follow. His eyes burned brightly behind his white mask. It was just Geom Woojin, standing in the room, just below the Celestial Zenith’s Throne, with a stone-faced expression as he looked at the approaching Evil Smiling Demon. There was no sign of Sima Myung, which was unusual considering a Demon Supreme had been summoned. This fact likely denoted the personal nature of the discussion.
“I greet the Heavenly Demon,” Soma greeted semi-formally with a cupped-hand salute and bow. While Soma didn’t know what to expect from this exchange, he anticipated some sort of oncoming conflict.
Geom Woojin nodded sagely at Soma, and Soma returned to an upright position. He was usually careful with his words, but now he felt the need to be even more so. Soma decided to use his words sparingly until he gleaned enough information about the Cult Leader’s impressions and objectives. They stood in silence for a long time, both waiting for the other to make the first move. Soma hid his hands behind his back and took the silence graciously. He could wait all day if needed. He had no intention of speaking first; whoever let their intent known first was always at a disadvantage. The Heavenly Demon had summoned him, not the other way around; therefore, he shouldn’t be further burdened by not fully understanding the situation and suffering the loss of first speech.
Then, unprompted, Geom Woojin recognized Soma’s defiance and declared, “What made you fall was courtesy, was it not?” He was speaking of how he felt for Geom Mugeuk, of course, and using his own words against him. As Geom Woojin said this, no martial pressure was applied to Soma; instead, the Cult Leader gave off the stern expression of a father protecting his son. Which didn’t bode well at all. It raised more questions than answers.
Geom Woojin should not have called him for this conversation at all. Given the Heavenly Demon’s usual professionalism and attitude, it seemed out of character for him to seek Soma out about this private matter as a father and not the Heavenly Demon. That only left one option: something had happened to push his hand. The question was what. Was it that Soma had slept with the Young Cult Leader? That seemed unlikely. Even if Geom Woojin knew through the Heavenly Communication Pavilion that he’d stayed the night with his son, how had he found out that they had also joined bodies and shared breaths? If he did know the more intimate details of the affair, then he should have known it was dictated by Geom Mugeuk as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. In general, Soma doubted that Geom Woojin would have approved of such a relationship between his son and a Demon Supreme. However, if he knew that Geom Mugeuk had dictated that it wouldn’t happen again, then Geom Woojin wouldn’t have brought it up at all. Which meant three things: 1) Geom Woojin knew he slept with his son, 2) the Heavenly Demon did not know that Geom Mugeuk had denied Soma, and in due course, 3) there was more to the story that Soma was unaware of. Ultimately, he needed to press the Cult Leader for answers.
“It was,” Soma dictated carefully and as vaguely as possible while gauging Geom Woojin’s response. The man looked strong, but that strength was overshadowed by a weariness in his eyes that bespoke his true feelings about the matter at hand. The Cult Leader looked accusatorily at Soma, as though he wanted to blame him for the situation. Soma stood tall and graciously accepted it. He had done nothing he could be ashamed of. Heavenly Demon and Demon Supreme continued to stare each other down.
“Do you know what you have incited with yesterday's incident?” Geom Woojin asked in a superior tone. He looked down on people when he had an apparent aim. Such arrogance was meant to weaken the opponent through emotional manipulation. Soma would not be weakened.
Soma, further, wanted to scoff at the term ‘incident.’ They both knew what Geom Woojin was referring to. Sex between the Young Cult Leader and the Evil Smiling Demon was coined as an ‘incident;’ how laughably incidental. Soma fought back a sigh, stood tall, and took in the accusation defiantly. Hopefully, Geom Woojin didn’t see it as Soma having deflowered his son. The thought alone was preposterous. Geom Mugeuk was anything but young and innocent. He was wise beyond his years and more than capable of handling himself. But perhaps this instant is why the Heavenly Communication Pavilion was so loud about the situation: to ensure that Soma knew what the Cult Leader had been informed of. The Heavenly Demon had a reason for everything. It made the most sense that he’d intentionally released the information to get back to Soma, given the situation. Or, too, perhaps to control Geom Mugeuk's reception of the situation through Geom Woojin’s bias. The latter would be a frightening thought, if not for the fact that Geom Mugeuk was clever enough to see through such biases.
“What is it that I have incited?” Soma asked carefully, mirroring Geom Woojin’s cold atmosphere.
Geom Woojin gave Soma a knowing look, one that reflected his son’s similar expression. An image of the younger superimposed on the older. Soma felt a pang of desire course through him at the thought of being on the receiving end of that stare from Geom Mugeuk. The image shattered when Geom Woojin's deeper, toneless voice broke through his musings, and he ignored the question to ask one of his own: “Why did you do it?”
“I enjoyed it.” Soma didn’t miss a beat. Eyes smiling enough to live up to his name, he pointed out the obvious problem with Geom Woojin’s question, “Surely that’s not the real question you want to ask. Or do you want to ask questions at all? Isn’t there something you’d rather tell?”
Their staring contest endured even as Geom Woojin answered in a low, deadpan, “You shouldn’t pursue anything with the Young Cult Leader. Surely you can see the reasons why.”
So, he was here to be persuaded then. That was easy enough to deal with. “Only shouldn’t?” he taunted respectfully (something only he out of the Demon Supremes could get away with), knowing what the Heavenly Demon meant with the comment. “Don’t you mean I can’t?”
“I have no intention of denying your free will,” The Cult Leader denied. “I hope only to point out a few important details to consider.”
“Things like the propriety of relations between one of the Demon Supremes and the Young Cult Leader?” Soma assumed, knowing the Heavenly Demon enough to recognize his points of persuasion.
“Of course,” Geom Woojin nodded in self-assurance. “I knew you’d understand my position.”
Knowing and understanding were decidedly two separate issues. Soma asked diligently, fishing for information by providing information he knew the Cult Leader didn’t possess, “Why press so hard when it’s the Young Cult Leader that doesn’t want to pursue relations with me in the first place? He explicitly denied me before I could even ask.” Soma paused as he gauged Geom Woojin’s tense expression. Surprisingly, Geom Woojin’s expression denoted that the information was not new. Meaning he was aware that Geom Mugeuk had denied him. Soma’s mind reeled at the possibility. That means that the Young Cult Leader had done or said something that superseded the denial. That also meant that the Heavenly Demon seemed to view the relationship between Soma and Geom Mugeuk as a real fundamental possibility. Soma’s heart raced at the insightful revelation. New ideas formed in his mind of what he would do to his Young Cult Leader to make him belong to him. “Unless he told you something otherwise,” Soma’s eyes glinted with curiosity as he made the startling discovery. Geom Woojin was also more concerned about the quality of Geom Mugeuk’s feelings for Soma than Soma’s feelings for Geom Mugeuk. The realization brought a predatory smile onto his face, an expression he was glad that his mask covered.
Geom Woojin gave a deprecating smirk at his quick wit. “You were always quick to take note of important details.”
“What did he say?” Soma asked eagerly, breaking his posture slightly.
“It isn’t what he said, so much as what he did,” Geom Woojin answered vaguely, but with a finality that bespoke a denial of further details.
What on earth had Geom Mugeuk done to press his father to make such an expression? Soma was beyond curious. But he couldn’t press the Heavenly Demon for details. He’d have to force the thought away for now and pursue it later.
Geom Woojin leveled Soma with a severe expression that transcended simple insight, “Despite Geom Mugeuk’s denial of you, you still intend to pursue him, don’t you, Evil Smiling Demon?” His voice was calm, but his words were loaded with critical judgment.
“I do.” There was no need to disguise his intentions when Geom Woojin knew them as clearly as he did.
“Then we have nothing more to say,” Geom Woojin spoke with an air of finality. “I have given my warning, and you have chosen not to heed it.”
Suspicious. Soma was overly suspicious of that comment, far more than any other comment Geom Woojin could have made. Why would Geom Woojin go through all of the effort to call him out today, only to give up easily after Soma stated his intentions? “Would you heed such advice in my place, Cult Leader?”
“I’m the Heavenly Demon,” Geom Woojin declared masterfully. “I would not be in your place,” he admitted easily with a boisterous tone that denoted zealous pride. “I’m the pinnacle of the Demonic Cult. What I want is mine.”
“Heavenly Demon Supreme, Divine Sect Undefeated,” Soma recited masterfully, one part reverence, one part taunting. “But I am also the Evil Smiling Demon,” Soma pointed out, “One of the Demon Supremes of the Demonic Cult. I do not give up on what makes me smile simply by being told to do so.”
“Even if it is your Heavenly Demon, that says so?” Geom Woojin pressed callously. “I did say I wouldn’t force you,” he conceded.
“Perhaps,” Soma agreed, eyes flashing with unrestrained annoyance that bordered on rage. He felt provoked by the Heavenly Demon. Geom Woojin was always like that. “The request from the Heavenly Demon is a difficult thing to look away from.”
“Yet, you turned me down so easily,” Geom Woojin addressed plainly.
“Difficult is not impossible,” Soma agreed. “Though nothing is impossible in regard to the Young Cult Leader,” the Evil Smiling Demon announced with reverence. Soma was as certain that his voice carried more veneration when he spoke of the son rather than the father, as he was the fact; he regarded the next Heavenly Demon with more deference than the current one.
“Such has become apparent to me as well,” Geom Woojin agreed with narrowed eyes.
Soma kept his posture upright and alert as though he were trying to convey an axiom in his declaration. “I have no intention of stopping my pursuit of the Young Cult Leader.”
“He will try to deny you,” Geom Woojin addressed pointedly.
“He will eventually see reason,” Soma didn’t disagree with the Cult Leader's statement, only his conclusion from the statement. Namely, that he should give up after being denied.
“What do you plan to do?”
Soma was uncomfortable with this question. He still wasn’t entirely certain what he planned to do himself; therefore, he answered as vaguely as possible to leave room for all manner of possibilities: “Make him need me. Make him come for me.” As an afterthought, he wanted to confirm one more time, “Do you plan to stop me?”
Geom Woojin gave Soma a pointed expression that prickled up his spine. “I don’t like repeating myself. I have already done so once today.” It was not approval, but it was clear that he wouldn’t stop Soma.
“What will you do once you gain his affection?” Geom Woojin asked casually, too casually in fact, that it made Soma wonder if finding this answer was the root of their entire exchange. Soma also couldn’t help but notice that the Cult Leader spoke in impending eventualities and not possibilities at all. It gave his mind a curious thought as to what Geom Mugeuk had said to make him so certain he would cave to Soma’s desires.
The sad thing was, Soma didn’t know the answer himself. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly, as only truth seemed appropriate given the situation.
Geom Woojin let out a withering sigh, as though declaring his own weakness to fate. “That is just the thing that I worry about. Like a dog chasing something, what will you do when you catch it? Will you lose interest and walk away? Or will you obsess to the point of rage when things do not go your way?”
Soma smiled enough that it made it to his eyes. “Of course, you know me well, Cult Leader. If I were a dog chasing the Young Second Master, I would sink my teeth into him and savor the flavor.”
They both knew this answer was enough to admit that he would obsess to the point of rage if he didn’t always get his way. He was the Evil Smiling Demon, after all, and they both knew the color of his rage. What Geom Woojin failed to recognize, however, was that the only thing that had ever appeared that could assuage that rage was Geom Mugeuk himself.
***
Geom Mugeuk’s mind seemed not to want to stray far from the Evil Smiling Demon. After his conversation with his father, more than anything, he wanted to speak with Soma even more than he had before, but no situation presented itself for that. What’s more, he was still of the belief that Soma would seek him out, and that being the first to approach Soma was the wrong choice. He spent much of the next day lounging around his place and attempting (and failing) to produce results with his martial arts training in the Nine Calamities Demonic Technique and the Heavenly Time Secret Art. The results were frustratingly negligible due to his distraction. That his mind wouldn’t calm no matter how much he tried to cull it was beyond frustrating. The reason he didn’t want to have a relationship was that doing so would interfere with his training to kill Hwa Moogi. Yet here he was, not pursuing anything, already falling apart from distraction. He felt like not engaging in a relationship and engaging in a relationship produced the same results: diversion from his goal.
He needed something more potent to break him out of his ardor for Soma. The simplest solution was to ask the One-Slash Sword Supreme for a sparring match. Perhaps if he couldn’t manage his practice with the Nine Calamities Demonic Techniques, then he could hone his sword arts. With that in mind, he quickly went to the Northern Heaven Swords Family to find So Yeonrang.
“Young Cult Leader,” So Yeonrang greeted him once he approached her. She was waiting in the area where they usually sparred, already practicing her swordsmanship. She’d stopped prior to his arrival, no doubt sensing his approaching figure. Despite this, Geom Mugeuk recognized her efforts as a thin sheen of sweat glistened on her exposed skin. She seemed to be hard at work; he hoped she wouldn’t mind his intrusion. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I’ve come to spar with you today,” Geom Mugeuk explained whilst smiling. His posture was straightforward and firm, and he held his hands carefully behind his back in an attempt to keep from fidgeting. He usually wouldn’t have done so, but with everything clouding his mind about Soma, he seemed to have been observing some unusual behavior. To curtail such behavior, he had to consciously adjust his posture.
So Yeonrang gave him a strange look that was half surprise, half calculating. It couldn’t be because of his asking to spar, as they did so frequently when he found the time for it. It must have been for some other reason, but as much as Geom Mugeuk expected So Yeonrang to say something about what was on her mind that showed through her expression, she did not. Instead, she drew her One-Slash Sword and waited for him to do the same with his Black Demon Sword.
There was no preamble, just the glint of their blades as they faced off against one another, starting where they left off in their last sparring session. As usual, passing members of the Northern Heavens Sword Family warriors would watch their match. But it had become such an ordinary sight; they would watch for only a moment before returning to their duties.
Geom Mugeuk felt freed by the welcome distraction. His body moved on with instinct as they fought. There was no lingering concern about Soma or his father. Just the intuitive reactions to fight and defend. Their movements were crisp and sharp. But despite all this, Geom Mugeuk could still feel that something unnamable was missing from the interaction. He did his best to forget the feeling as they continued to spar. They were mid-scramble when the Sword Supreme withdrew her intent and sword simultaneously.
“Your heart is not in sparring today,” she said, simply sheathing her sword as she moved her hair out of her flushed face. “You seem distracted.”
Geom Mugeuk laughed and followed suit by sheathing his Black Demon Sword. Though the sword had no eyes, So Yeonrang’s sword could see through him as well as his father during their game of Go. It was unfortunate. Their session had been going well. Unsurprisingly, he’d been winning, despite his distracted handicap. They bowed respectfully to one another and concluded their match. It hadn’t been as long or as vigorous as Geom Mugeuk would have liked, but it seemed that, So Yeonrang had no intention of continuing with his distracted state.
“Please come inside, let’s get some tea,” So Yeonrang invited purposefully.
“Of course,” Geom Mugeuk readily agreed, blood still reeling from their short skirmish while his brain disagreed with his evasion.
They sat and shared a cup of tea in silence. Geom Mugeuk could tell that the Sword Supreme wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure what it was. He let the quiet continue to settle between them. It was after they had both finished their cups that she finally spoke.
“You have the look of a man that is both pleased and disappointed,” she said airily. She generously filled his teacup before doing the same for her own cup.
Geom Mugeuk looked thoughtfully into his teacup before sipping it. “Why would you say that?” he asked, probing.
So Yeonrang gave off the impression of someone who knew too much. It worried him what information had reached her. The Heavenly Communication Network seemed to be intentionally stirring up trouble for him. It was probably his father’s work, but he wasn’t sure how much he was spreading about Geom Mugeuk’s personal matters, or for what reason. He must look into that later.
“Because it’s true,” she continued without giving a proper answer to his question. He supposed that with her extensive experience with men, she could easily pick out the look of a ‘pleased’ man, as she called it. Though he wasn’t sure where her identification of a ‘disappointed’ man came from. “Instead of riding both emotions,” she advised, “you should decide on which one you’d rather be. If it were the me of the past, I’d say it’s better to be disappointed than to be taken in by the pleasure only to eventually lose what you thought you longed for.” It was strange for the Sword Supreme to be so open about her relationship with the Blood Heaven Blade Demon, even if it was in this vague manner.
Even with this information as unsolicited advice, he felt conflicted.
“And now?”
“I’d probably still say that,” she admitted with a small, secretive smile.
“I’d probably say the same,” Geom Mugeuk agreed to the slowly cooling tea in his hand. It didn’t really matter how much the One-Slash Sword Supreme knew about the situation. She knew enough to make her answer informed. Furthermore, he agreed with her thoughts, even if the reasoning behind it was different. She spoke out as someone who had been hurt, while he spoke out of his need to fight against Hwa Moogi. Curious as to what kind of insight she might have for his plight, he asked, “What do you do to choose a side? I’ve already decided with my mind what I want to do, yet I keep ending up distracted. It’s frustratingly impulsive.”
So Yeonrang gave Geom Mugeuk an apologetic look before looking back at her cup and then at him. “This isn’t a matter of the mind, but the heart. You need a catalyst that will make your heart agree with your head.”
Geom Mugeuk wanted to splutter in indignation at the assessment. This was most decidedly not a decision of the heart. He disagreed with her wholeheartedly, in fact. He did not splutter; however, he calmly put his cup down before speaking. “I think you are under the wrong assumption,” Geom Mugeuk layered carefully before the One-Slash Sword Supreme. He did not want to insult her, but he disagreed with her words. “My heart is not what’s at war.”
So Yeonrang backtracked elegantly. “Of course. Though, what did I say wrong? A man on a bridge between distrust and desire will of course be conflicted. Your heart is not at war within itself, but rather with your mind.”
“I don’t think the root of this is distrust though—” Geom Mugeuk began before surprisingly being cut off by an obstinate Demon Supreme.
“Isn’t it though?” she argued. “You distrust yourself with that desire; isn’t that why your heart and mind aren’t on equal footing?”
Geom Mugeuk opened his mouth to refute the answer presented to him but stopped before properly forming the words. Normally able to defend himself verbally in any situation, he found himself without the necessary words of defense. Perhaps it was, too, because he was distracted by Soma. But, perhaps, more accurately, it was that the words had a ring of truth to them that he could not consciously refute.
“So, I just need a catalyst to break the distraction?” Geom Mugeuk asked, now finally considering it. “How do I find something so stimulating?”
“Don’t worry, you won’t find it. It’ll find you,” So Yeonrang assured, resolute in her knowledge and experience.