Chapter Text
Jihoon sat still on the bed in the dimly lit room. His heart felt heavy as he recalled the events of the past few days.
Never in his wildest dreams did he expect to marry someone he had loved a long time ago and still loved.
When his mother showed the picture of the alpha and informed about the marriage, he was both happy and sad.
Happy because it was someone who he had dearly loved and sad because the person barely knew him.
But still, a small hope was present in his heart. Maybe the alpha will like him and they'll live a proper happy life.
And the tiny hope shattered on the night of their wedding. It was already hanging by a loose thread the moment the alpha kissed his own hand instead of his lips.
Although he thought it was because he was embarrassed.
The moment the alpha told him he needed distance, his hope broke into tiny pieces.
The alpha was everything anyone could want in a partner.
It would be a miracle if anyone who studied in the same university as him wasn't aware of how kind he was. He was famous around the college for both his outstanding looks and kind heart.
Omegas queued up in line to have a word with the alpha. But he always refused them politely.
Maybe that was why the omega couldn't approach him. Or, maybe it was a whole other reason and he wasn't ready to admit it yet.
The door to their bedroom opened, revealing a tired-looking alpha who just returned from work. He looked completely worn out.
On the third day after their marriage, the alpha wanted to resume his work, but his mother refused. After a lot of pestering, the alpha finally went to work after a week.
The omega himself badly wanted to start his job. Since he was a kindergarten teacher, the schools are yet to reopen after winter holidays. He didn't have any choice but to stay home.
The alpha moved straight to the closet not once glancing toward the omega sitting on the bed.
It had been like this for two weeks now, yet the omega still couldn't get used to it.
His heart broke every time the alpha didn't acknowledge his presence. Is it too much to ask for? From your own husband?
Jihoon was tired. Tired of the silent treatment, tired of him acting like he didn't exist. So, he snapped. The feelings he had bottled up for two weeks, finally burst out.
When the alpha emerged out of the bathroom, freshly showered but still looking exhausted, the omega shouted before he could even realise.
"Why do you keep treating me like I don't exist?” he yelled, making the alpha flinch at the sudden sound. “I'm tired, Soonyoung. Tired of pretending it doesn't hurt.”
Tears started gathering around his eyes.
The alpha blinked at him, confused. Of course he was confused.
“It hurts every time you ignore me as if I didn't exist.” He was crying by now. “Why did you agree to the marriage if you're not gonna be happy? You should've refused your mom when she proposed the idea.”
The alpha's face changed from confusion to guilt.
Yet, he didn't speak; he couldn't speak.
“D-did you think about me at least once?” the omega asked, his voice breaking as he questioned him. “Did you think about how I would've felt when you said you wanted distance?”
The omega was sobbing by now. His face looked bright red as his sobs filled the quiet room.
The alpha was still frozen in his place. He opened his mouth and closed it again, unable to find the right words.
Not getting a response, the omega continued. “I-i wanted nothing but a happy life. I thought you would at least try to be civil with me instead of acting like strangers.”
Soonyoung clenched his fingers, “Jihoon–”
Before he could finish, the omega stormed toward the bathroom, shaking from the tears. Once inside, he looked at himself in the mirror.
He looked like a mess with tears and snot running over his face. He slowly bent down and splashed water on his face.
What did he just do? How is he going to face him now?
But, why does his heart feel less heavy? Maybe he did a good job in letting his feelings out.
Now the problem was how the alpha will take it. It might seem a little random to him since the omega was always silent.
He just hoped he didn't make things even worse.
♧
Soonyoung stared at the direction where the omega left for a few seconds, processing the events before moving to the balcony and sitting on the sofa.
Did he overdo it?
Why did he never think about how the omega would feel about all this? Was he always this inconsiderate?
He was angry at himself for making the omega sad.
His scent was so gloomy when he confronted him. He wanted nothing but to comfort him and make him happy.
Soonyoung was so keen on hiding his feelings that he didn't realize the omega would get hurt in the process.
The omega was right. He should've at least tried to be civil with him, instead of ignoring his whole existence.
He got where the omega was coming from.
He remembered leaving the places he was present in, just to avoid him. He also remembered the time he shouted at the omega for striking up a conversation with him.
His chest tightened at the realization and he clenched his fists tightly, thinking of ways to solve the mess.
In the end, he decided to apologize and made his way inside.
The omega was already curled up on his side of the bed, when the alpha stepped inside.
He was facing away from him.
Soonyoung quietly moved to sit on the other side. He hesitantly reached a hand toward him and pulled back, doing it several times until he deliberately placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Jihoon,” he called softly. “I'm sorry.”
He felt the omega freeze beneath his hand at his sudden apology.
“Jihoon,” he whispered, again.
But the omega still wouldn't reply.
“Okay, you don't have to reply. Just hear me out, please,” the alpha pleaded. “You asked me why I agreed to the wedding if I wasn't okay with it, right?”
The alpha let out a heavy sigh. “It's not that I don't like you, Jihoon. My mom is the problem.”
He paused for a second.
“I hated her more than anyone else in the world. I couldn't digest the idea of marrying someone she chose. She used my sister as bait and I couldn't refuse it.”
“I think I need some time to get used to all this. Whenever I look at you, I can't help but think about her. But that doesn't give me the right to ignore you, I know. I'm sorry, I really am.”
Soonyoung remained in his position after his little talk, waiting for the omega to speak.
When the omega turned to look up at him, his heart broke at the sight of the tears in his eyes. Eventually the omega sat up straight, shrugging off the hand resting on his shoulder.
“You need time?” he asked faintly. “I gave you two weeks.”
The alpha remained silent, incapable of answering his question.
“How much more do you need? I can't go on like this, Soonyoung,” he said, his voice carrying a hint of exhaustion.
“Jihoon, I–”
“Leave it. I’m tired. I just want to sleep,” the omega said and lay down again on the bed, facing away from Soonyoung.
The alpha stared at his back for a while before sighing and lying down. The sight of a pillow sitting in between them made his chest tighten.
♧
Something changed between them after that night. The alpha started coming home early and accompanied Jihoon during dinner which never happened before.
He also started checking up on the omega even during his work hours--constantly texting him whether he had eaten and what he was doing.
The changes should've made Jihoon happy, but instead he felt empty. The texts felt forced and scheduled.
He should be relieved that the alpha was making efforts, but he couldn't.
Today was nothing new. The alpha came home as early as usual and they went down for dinner. They ate quietly as the servants served their food.
Apart from his mother in law's occasional enquiries, the dining area was silent.
“Ah right.” Soonyoung's mother voiced out. “The builder called me in the morning. He said the house was ready to move in. When are you free, Soonyoung?”
The omega stilled, hearing the information. He clenched his fists in his pants.
The house was ready. They'll be moving in there.
They'll be alone.
“Oh,” he heard the alpha say. “I'm only free on the weekends. We will start moving this Sunday.”
The omega turned his gaze toward the alpha who had already resumed eating his food. His stares lingered long enough for the alpha to lift his head from the food.
When he raised an eyebrow at him, Jihoon looked away.
Without his mother around, there would be nothing to bridge the silence between them.
After dinner, the alpha went to their room first leaving Jihoon alone with his mother. They sat on the couch in front of the TV playing a weekly drama.
“Jihoon.” He heard the older omega call for him.
The younger omega looked away from the screen, toward her. “Yes, aunty?”
She hesitated for a second before asking. “You both are happy, right?”
Jihoon went rigid at the question.
Are they? Definitely not.
“Yes,” he said with a tight lipped smile.
The older omega frowned before smiling faintly and nodding. “Okay.”
“And also, I forgot to tell Soonyoung. His sister is coming home in two days. Inform him to free his schedules.”
Oh?
Sister.
The same sister who was the reason he agreed to the marriage.
The reason why they're together now.
“Sure, aunty,” Jihoon said and got up from the couch, heading upstairs.
The door was half open when the omega reached their room. He entered and frowned, not finding the alpha anywhere inside.
Noticing the balcony door being open, he made his way out.
The sight in front of him made him freeze near the doorway.
The alpha was standing leaning against the railing, facing away from him. It wasn't his position that made him freeze. It was his attire.
He was half naked, wearing only a sweatpant and upper half left bare.
Soonyoung turned around at the sound of footsteps and frowned at the omega standing with his mouth half open.
The omega was having thoughts that were inappropriate to even share. He looked away when their eyes met for a brief second.
He looked anywhere but at the alpha's bare chest, which looked unfairly perfect.
“Um,” he said while rubbing his nape. “Aunty asked to inform you that your sister will be coming the day after tomorrow. She wanted you to clear your schedules.”
The alpha's eyes widened in excitement after hearing his words. “Eunbi is coming home? Oh my god.”
His voice and face held so much excitement.
It was the side of the alpha that Jihoon never saw during these two weeks.
With a skip in his steps, the alpha moved inside, mumbling to himself. “I should call Hyesoo to cancel my meetings.”
Jihoon stared at the retreating figure and sighed. He sat on the chair placed outside and got lost in his thoughts. He looked up at the sky and noticed the moon.
It reminded him of their marriage; lonely, beautiful and surrounded by emptiness.
♧
The house was bustling with preparations for the arrival of the house's maknae.
Jihoon sat in the middle of the living room, blowing a balloon. The whole living room was filled with inflated balloons and decorative papers.
The alpha sat opposite to him, smiling like an excited child as he prepared a wall decoration with his sister's name. Jihoon's chest tightened at the sight of him smiling from ear to ear.
It wasn't hatred. It wasn't because he hated the alpha's smile. It was the realization that he could never be the cause of that beautiful smile that made his chest tighten.
Can he ever become the reason for the alpha's smiles?
It seems impossible now.
A hand waving in front of his face brought him out of his thoughts. When he looked up, his eyes met with the alpha's, whose face was filled with confusion.
“Huh?”
“What were you thinking so deeply? I have been calling you for a while now,” the alpha asked.
“Oh, sorry. What is it?”
“Give me that balloon. I will blow it,” he said, reaching out his hand. Jihoon looked down at his hand holding the balloon and handed it to the alpha without realising.
Only when the alpha placed the balloon against his lips did he realise that it was the same balloon he was trying to blow not so long ago.
He stared at the alpha's lips for a second too long before he looked away. His face immediately heated up, his cheeks turning a faint red due to embarrassment.
It was ridiculous. They're married and even share the same bed every night. Yet a tiny indirect kiss was enough to make his heart skip a beat.
Maybe that was the problem. He gets giddy over small things and expects too much from the alpha who still looked at him with nothing but politeness and concern.
No matter how much his heart fluttered, nothing would really change.
That realization set a bitter feeling inside him.
“Why are you red? Do you have a fever?” the alpha asked worriedly.
Jihoon shook his head.
“No no. It's just hot here,” he said, fanning himself with his hands.
The alpha narrowed his eyes. “The AC is on full blast, Jihoon. What do you mean it's hot?”
“Um, leave it. I'm going upstairs,” the omega said and bolted towards the stairs, running until he stopped in front of their room.
He entered and leaned against the door after closing it behind him.
The smile that was threatening to appear vanished, leaving him with a familiar ache. He didn't realise he was crying until a lone tear hit the back of his hand.
♧
tbc!!!