Chapter Text
This wasn't real. It couldn't be. He had to have been dreaming or high off something, what exactly that something was he didn't even want to know. Snake was right there, in front of him, looking him dead in the eyes and glaring. This was bad, made worse by the current state of his bladder, and he doubted Snake would let him run away for a second. He looked so good without his pixels, seeing him look human was possibly the second most jarring thing in this situation.
He scurried out of bed, tripping on the copious amount of bedding, and cautiously approached the other man. His eyes were filled with both wonder and confusion as he got closer. However, his thoughts would be cut short as Snake grabbed him by the collar and hoisted him into the air. This was real.
"What the hell is going on here?! Where is Meryl? Who are you and where am I?"
He didn't have to pee anymore. Snake continued to glare at him, though his expression shifted into one of slight disgust, maybe even of pity. Oh God, how could he live with himself? Looking away and shutting his eyes, he whimpered something along the lines of, "please don't hurt me," though it was a bit too mumbled for Snake to hear.
"I promise, I have no clue why you're here, Snake. I- you're not supposed to be real. You're from a videogame, and an old game at that! I wish I knew why you've ended up in my bedroom of all places, but- I don't, I'm sorry," he looked towards the ground again. "But, what I can say is, you're alone now. All the things you previously knew aren't in this world. Meryl, Sniper Wolf, even Liquid and your missions, they're all in that little laptop over there," Hal thought for a second, "You do have me, though. I remember you and have a couch in the other room."
"So, you really don't know," Snake looked distant. It probably hurt him, he did love Meryl, after all, and knowing all you've lived for was a lie had to make you feel something.
"Yeah. Also, could you, uh, put me down now?"
He landed on the heels of his feet, stumbling a little and almost reaching out to grab Snake for support.
"Sorry," he muttered in Snake's general direction. He was still looking off towards the ground to hide the fact he was blushing from both embarrassment and arousal.
Internally, Snake was just confused. How could he, a killing machine, just appear in a random otaku's mess of a room? He was soon distracted by something else. What was this voice? The one inside his head? He'd never heard it before, though he could assume it was simple thought. How could he have never noticed before? But he had to get back on track, he had to figure out what was going on and whether or not this other strange man was trustworthy. It didn't take a lot to see he wasn't exactly threatening, but who knew.
"How am I supposed to believe you?"
"Oh! I can, um, show you the game. Now. Yeah," Hal still couldn't believe this was happening, "here, just over to my laptop."
Both moved towards the laptop, with Hal grimacing a little as he walked in his soiled pants. He opened the laptop, closed whatever he previously had open so fast that Snake couldn't see or process what it was, and double clicked the game, the two waiting patiently for it to load. Once it did, Snake was almost shocked. There he was, but he was merely pixels. Hal, knowing he needed more proof, decided to show him the news.
"See? Nothing to do with anything you've ever had to do before," he said before pulling up some obscure social media platform and searching up Snake on it.
First thing was art of him in skimpy clothes, which Hal scrolled away from quickly, but not before swiftly hitting the save button on the side. Snake shot a glance at him, but Hal was far too flustered to notice. Then, the second was art of him after defeating Sniper Wolf.
"Your entire life was in that game. Well, not your entire life, just that little portion of it, but you have so many fans because they really liked the game!"
Seeing all this made Snake lightheaded, and yet filled with adrenaline. He didn't know where he was, or who he was, but did that mean he was programmed to think all of this? He couldn't remember anything the more he tried to recall it, it all just felt so vague.
Snake ran to the door and rushed out, only to be met with a foggy morning sunlight shining in his eyes. There was a woman walking her dog, and squirrels climbing a nearby tree, and birds chirping and flying above. This couldn't be the truth, that his previous life was all a simulation. It wasn't the worst thing in the world, it was more how he would learn to be normal. That made him almost afraid, he didn't know how to be a normal person. He clearly still had the muscle and muscle memory for fighting. But Meryl, someone he thought he loved, was she dead? There was the faintest memory of her passing that didn't feel real at all, like someone else made up the memory entirely and put it there for him.
The life he knew was all meaningless here, wasn't it? And knowing he hadn't really gotten the chance to think before made him so obsessed with it. He had so many questions to ask that no one knew the answers to.
"I'm sorry. About everything."
Snake looked to the man behind him.
"But, uh, you really can't be out here in," he gestured to his outfit, "this."
He grumbled something. All Hal could think about now was how lucky he was, his dream was real. They could be together forever, Snake did depend on Hal for his knowledge of the world around him now, giving each other loving touches and cooking each other meals.
He shut the door behind Snake and locked it, feeling satisfied as he heard the soft clicking of the lock.
"My name is Hal. Since there's really no record of your existence anywhere, I don't know how much you can exactly do on your own, but that's okay because you have me. I know this place is a mess, but I can clean it up for you! I, uh, just might need a few days," he blushed again, looking around his apartment and realizing how much of a mess it really was. "Just, stay here for a moment, I need to clean myself off um."
As Hal walked off to the bathroom with a clean pair of pants, Snake looked around the apartment and saw the various anime figurines. Mainly little mech figures, but there were also anime girls he didn't exactly want to ask about. This was where he was staying? Really? For some reason he didn't feel much of a drive to oppose. He heard the shower water turn on. There was something about that silly little man that made him alluring even though he just met him. He didn't know why, but being around him made him feel some form of deja vu, like he was supposed to remember something there. It was the opposite of how he felt about Meryl now, instead of a memory without its outlines, it was a memory of only outlines.
Thinking of Meryl made him angry, even if he was kidnapped there was definitely no finding her now. He had thought that he loved her, but at this point, only existing in this world for about 17 minutes, he felt empty. Not just about Meryl, about everything. All his memories were numbed, it felt like he hadn't felt anything before, and maybe he didn't if what Hal said was true. He was nothing but code made real. This world did seem to be an awful lot different than what he previously knew, but he couldn't exactly remember what that previous thing was.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the shower turning off. He had questions for Hal, and he was going to make sure every single one of them was answered.
. . . . . . .
When Hal emerged from the bathroom, he nearly bumped right into Snake's chest. He looked in awe at the man before him, looking up at his face then down to his chest and arms, fidgeting his hands around as he tried not to faint.
"I have more questions for you."
"Ah! Oh. Sorry," why did he have to be so bashful?
"Do you have any cigarettes?"
Hal took a moment to process that he wasn't being asked some crazy, thought invoking question that had to do with some philosophical outlook on life, "um, no? Sorry, I don't smoke."
Snake grumbled and looked away, "if I'm from a videogame, does that mean the people who created me are out there? Did I have a voice before this?"
"Yes, someone voiced you. I always thought he did a pretty good job of it."
"So you're saying there's a man out there perfectly able to recreate my voice?"
"Well, yes. All the people you knew were voice acted by people all across the world. There's a Japanese version, too."
"Mm," Snake looked lost for a moment, like he wasn't exactly staring at anything but saw everything at the same time. Something didn't sit right with him.
"Oh! I should probably give you a basic run-down of the basics since you're mentally still in 2005," Hal adjusted his glasses while speaking, "the year is 2026, and it is August- wait I don't remember the date exactly."
He watched Hal run to his computer in the other room then run back out.
"It is August 7th, 2026."
"So I missed the past 21 years?"
"Er, not exactly, it doesn't really matter now because you haven't aged a day. Wait, do you even age? You're in your 30s, right?"
The other man nodded, "33."
"Wow, you're 10 years older than me! When is your birthday?"
Snake was silent for a moment. Thinking, trying to recall when his birthday was, but it never came to him. Instead there was a cloudy feeling, mixed with unease. It was an odd mixture for him. He still wasn't sure if he had actually felt before, so the whole feeling things for no clear reason was new to him.
"Can't remember, huh?"
"I'm supposed to be asking the questions here."
Hal nodded and continued, "we're currently in Arizona, in my little apartment. I promise I can make it look better. There's no roaches or anything that I've seen yet, which is a good thing, but there are some weird stains on the walls in some places which I really hope isn't mould."
Snake listened to him trail off about cleaning his house and how it really wasn't as bad as it looked. The trash was overflowing, the dishes weren't done, there were clothes and old cans and ramen bowls everywhere with an occasional plate. He feared this man's sodium intake. It confused him why he felt oddly safe here around the other man, shouldn't he be questioning him more? Shouldn't he be finding more answers? Why was everything so foggy and vague? The thing he thought about the most was how he could just accept that everything he knew was false. His whole life was written by some random man, just written to be some quick entertainment.
"Tell me more about yourself."
"Um. Okay, about me," he took a breath, "I'm 23 and work at a grocery store as a shelf stocker. I like anime and manga- you do know what that is, right?"
Snake nodded his head in agreement with a grunt, he guessed those movies and shows were different now than they were then, but he got the general concept of it being a Japanese cartoon. The memory of them felt better than his memory of other things. It reminded him of someone but he couldn't place his finger on who, because it definitely wasn't he who watched them.
"Okay so I like that stuff a lot, I also like frogs, and rabbits a little. I like you. Quite a lot, actually. It's really cool to me that you're real now. I mean, I don't know how it works at all, you could just be some random man who looks exactly like him but non-pixelated who came to kidnap me, but with how you've reacted to things I don't think that's the case."
Hm. So Hal didn't trust him either. He felt so lost still, what on Earth was happening? He just casually accepted that nothing he knew was real, and now he's accepting he has to live in this horribly small apartment with a smell. It was surprising to him that he could even afford living alone as a shelf stocker, but he also appeared to consume only instant and microwavable meals so he supposed that was how he made it work.
"Back to you, though. I don't really know how much you'll be able to do on your own now. There's no real record of you, so I don't even know if you'll be able to get a job anywhere, which could be a bit of a road block," Hal began to pace around his cramped apartment with his finger to his chin as he thought, "But, we could always go hunting. I'm sure there's a gun store somewhere around here, and you definitely have the skills to hunt. I could also resort to some less than legal activities to make ends meet, but hopefully we don't get to that point. Last thing I need right now is to be hunted by the law."
Great. So unless he wanted to live completely off the grid, which he could do, though it didn't sound the most appealing, he was stuck with Hal whether he liked him or not. He grumbled, "So I'm stuck with you?"
"I'm afraid you might be," Hal was doing a horrible job at hiding his joy, he could tell he was holding his hands down just so that he wouldn't flap them wildly at the thought. It made Snake feel almost like a pet, or a rat in a controversial lab experiment, "but it can't be that bad, to live with me, right?"
Then, there was silence. They just stood there, awkwardly staring at each other for ages, Hal's nervous smile fading down into a look of worry.
Before he knew it, Snake was walking away to the door, "you left your dirty clothes in the bathroom."
"Wait! You can't just, leave! Where are you going to go?"
"Relax, I'm just going out for some air."
"But you can't! Not in that, people are going to wonder why there's a scary man outside! What if they call the police?"
"Alright, fine. Do you have anything that'll fit me?"
Hal's eyes went wide as a blush crept across his face. No way he just asked to borrow clothes from him already, this was going great. It's not like Snake really had any other choice in the matter, but Hal was just surprised he was even remotely open to the idea, "I. I think so. Might be a little tight, though."
He went off to his bedroom to see if any of the pajamas he had would fit in the slightest, but he felt much more comfortable in oversized clothes so the task wasn't too challenging. He came out of the room with a pair of flannel pajama pants and a big, greyish-blue shirt and walked up to Snake. He was being useful. Hal gestured for him to take the clothes.
Snake gave him a look of confusion. Hal was a small guy, how did he even stay in these clothes without them falling off? "Didn't expect you to actually have any."
"Ah, well, big clothes are comfortable! I don't know how well the pants will fit, but the shirt should fit just fine."
The other man shrugged at that, it wasn't his place to judge if someone wanted to sleep comfortably. He simply preferred sweaters and basic T-shirts. Moving his way to the small table in the corner to place the clothes down, he noticed a small bag. It looked kind of like a purse, though when he took a closer look at it, he realized it was covered in pins, stickers, and charms. The concerning thing about this was that they were all of him. Hal had run to the bathroom again to clean up things, giving Snake a long moment to think.
Suddenly he couldn't trust the man he had just met at all. Not like he immediately trusted everything he said, but his words seemed to be truthful. How did he know Hal didn't just want to keep him living there forever? Because if what he said was true, then he was likely obsessed with him. Anyone with this amount of charms was definitely obsessed, and depending on how long he'd been obsessed, the shorter the time span the more concerning it was. What made this all worse was that it was familiar. The way Hal looked reminded him of someone but he didn't know who. He never heard the word otaku before and yet he knew what if meant and knew it was definitely Hal. Was he brought into this world just to give into his sick fantasies? He didn't know, everything about the past hour was just so confusing.
"Don't look at that, please," Hal approached him from behind. Snake's first reaction was almost to grab him by the shirt again and thrust him into the table, but something inside stopped him. "It has my art on it, and I'm rather embarrassed by it."
His voice was so soft, he must have felt ashamed.
"You drew some of these?"
"Yeah, um. The one to the bottom left there is the one I guess I'm most proud of. I made most of the things here myself, apart from the charms. I've thought you were the coolest for a while now, so I made this bag for whenever I go out and need a little push to do things, it's like a part of you could be there with me."
Snake didn't know what to say. Never would he have ever been this honest to someone he just met, let alone someone who could kill him in an instant.
"You really like me, huh?"
"Yeah, aha," he watched Hal rub his neck and look away, "you're pretty special to me."
"Huh," there was a quick silence, "I take it the bathroom is ready for me to change in?"
Hal looked tired, "yeah. Yeah, it's ready."
. . . . . . .
Snake didn't know what to think anymore, so he chose to not think at all as he stripped out of his clothes, each piece folded nicely and placed on the sink top. He liked this new feeling of thinking, but since it was new he decided a short break would be nice. Thoughtlessly taking off his shoes and socks to get out of his suit.
As he looked to his side, he saw a razor blade left on the rack beside the shower with what looked like the faint stain of blood. He let himself think for a moment. Hal was just sad. He was obsessed with Snake to distract himself from whatever the world was doing to him, and that couldn't be that bad. He knew he wasn't thinking reasonably whenever he thought this, people could do very bad things under high emotion, but something felt right. He felt like a dog that was returned to its rightful owner he hadn't seen in years, and yet said owner felt familiar. He'd keep his distance, sure, but he'd open himself up a little bit more to Hal and see what exactly he'd do with it. He hoped his intuition was right, because if not, there would be consequences. The thought of relying on someone else made him feel sick to the stomach regardless, Hal could hurt him. Hal could hurt him and never look back.
He looked himself in the mirror, seeing how the fabric strained lightly against his muscles. The pants were a bit tight and high on the ankle, but not unbearable. He looked like he hadn't gone outside in a few days and forgot how to dress, but he looked pretty good regardless
Right before he walked out in his new attire, he heard a loud bang from the other room and a muffled curse. What would Hal be upset about? What if someone broke in?
. . . . . . .
He totally ruined his chance, Snake probably thinks he's an obsessed stalker creep now who pisses himself out of fear everyday. He felt like going back to bed and sobbing until his eyes were so dry he couldn't cry anymore tears. How could he have just been so honest like that? Part of his mind kept telling him that he had just increased his chances with honesty, but he knew Snake would trust him less for it. He felt awful, he wanted to die on the spot. If this real Snake didn't like him, what would he do with himself? He was the only thing that had ever loved him, the only thing that kept him going, the only thing that was supposed to keep loving him until they grew old together.
He was no better than his father, was he? Of course, the moment one thing goes wrong, he wants to give everything up. Run away from the consequences of his own and other's actions, and take the easy route out. He hated himself. He deserved it if Snake hurt him and he deserved to hurt himself again, he was an awful, selfish person who did the bare minimum because he was too much of a coward to do anything more. He should have been saving up on going to college instead of anime figures, should have been paying attention to his health instead of drawing men out of his league fucking the life out of him, should have been focusing on maintaining relationships while he focused on a false reality so maybe then someone could actually help him. But he didn't deserve that help, he only caused catastrophe.
He needed a razor again, make it hurt more so the other pain would die down for a little bit. It was like both medicine and punishment to him, he thought. Every pill had a side affect, he imagined it to be not much better. Everything was so frustrating, he needed to do something so that he didn't break down, and in a brilliant wave of thought, he decided to punch the table full force.
. . . . . . .
Hal jumped a little as he heard Snake open the squeaky door to the bathroom. As he clutched his fist and turned around, the way Snake's muscles strained the shirt he was wearing caught his eye immediately. His hand didn't hurt so much anymore.
"The clothes look good on you," what was he doing? "Er. They're a little small, but I think you pull it off just fine. You should probably keep your boots, though, I don't have any shoes your size."
Snake went forward and grabbed onto Hal's wrist, "Wh- hey!"
He looked at his fist, it was red, a knuckle was beginning to bruise, and, due to the angle he hit it from, even bleed a little.
"Do you do this often?"
"I, uh."
"Do you?"
"Why is that important to you? We just met! I don't have to- I- you don't need to know anything about my mess! I," Snake was glaring at him again, "I hadn't done anything like this in a while, I just get frustrated. I'm sorry if it concerned you."
"You're no use to me if you're tearing yourself apart. You are the only person I have now, right? You're my only hope if I don't want to be hunted by the government to become a weapon again."
Hal couldn't believe it. Snake already cared about him a little bit, he wanted him to be useful. He was right, he couldn't tear himself apart now, he needed him, "you really would rather stay here with me? I mean, I definitely wouldn't want to work for the government in this decade either, but you'd rather stick it out in this apartment with me?"
"Not like I have much of a choice," Snake shrugged.
"Ah, well, I'll be sure to keep you comfortable."
"Why'd you do it?"
"Stupid thoughts, really. Mainly impulse."
They stood there for a moment, once again awkwardly staring at each other. Snake could tell Hal was trying his hardest not to look at his chest, he found it kind of cute.
"You stare at everyone with a big rack like this?"
Hal's eyes went wide, "I do not! Go outside and, I don't know, listen to the birds or something!"
He was pretty cute when he was flustered.
. . . . . . .
Standing outside, barefoot in the summer heat, he felt like a teenager for some reason. Any memory he had of being a kid was made up by him, so he guessed he could just accept that he had no real childhood, but it was nice to feel like he was reliving something. All he needed was a smoke. He looked down the stairs, they were on the third floor of the apartment complex.
It was nice to feel the breeze, and knowing he hadn't exactly felt any of this before made it feel oddly better. He felt fresh and new despite the nausea and confusion that overwhelmed him when he first awoke, but also so awful. How could he leave everything behind like that? He knew there was no point in mourning, but at the same time he wanted to drink himself sick just for the hell of it. If Hal was really all he had, then he'd have to get used to him and his behaviors quickly. If the bloody razor blade meant what he thought it did, then it might be more of a hassle to keep this apartment afloat than he originally thought. Though, as they'd discussed, he could hunt his own food. However, bullets and a gun could get expensive, and he didn't know how much Hal had saved up. That, and guns were used to kill. That part was important to him for some reason.
He couldn't get a job without a license or form of identification of some kind, which made this extremely difficult, because his salary could barely house one person. He'd have to talk to Hal about working two jobs, then. Stocking shelves couldn't have taken up too much time out of his day, so there must have been time for a night or morning shift at another place. It'd drain him, though, and he could tell Hal already didn't sleep enough.
God he needed a cigarette. He had to live with a man who was clearly obsessed with him in his shitty apartment, somehow figure out how to get said man to make enough money for two, and everything his life was building up to was gone. Worthless. He should have been the one to punch the table, he should have threatened Hal and demanded him to find some way to send him back, but he didn't. Alas, he couldn't hate himself for it, there was already too much self hatred from his new roommate, so he focused on the sound of the wind in the nearby trees.
The sun was all the way up now. It was weird knowing that he now didn't have to worry about being struck down every second, though the anxiety was very much still there. The grungy apartments did nothing to help that, it didn't look like the worst place to live, but it also looked like the kind of place where petty crimes were common. No one was out right now, and so he felt somewhat safe. No eyes on him through the scope of a rifle. Just to be sure, he took a quick look around at the buildings, and made eye contact with a cat staring at him.
He had always preferred dogs, or maybe his creator did, wherever that person is now. Cats were alright, too, but dogs gave you such loyalty you couldn't find anywhere else, they kept coming back to you even when you hit them and yelled. He wished he were able to say whether or not he was more dog-like or cat-like. He wished he wasn't just so lost.
Snake froze as he heard the door open behind him. It was just Hal, he knew, but something inside him didn't sit right. Why now did his paranoia choose now to kick in? Maybe he was just stunned before, too mentally fried and confused to take in his surroundings, that would be a reasonable explanation.
"Hey, I, uh," Hal stuttered, "I think we should go and get you some stuff from the store soon, before I have to go to work."
Snake turned around slowly. Hal couldn't hurt him with anything, he had the worst case of wimpy nerd arms he had ever seen. But, as he thought about it a bit more, those were the only wimpy nerd arms he had ever seen. He just had a mug in his hand, which was now bandaged, and had put on some shoes. He guessed the mug was filled with coffee.
"Do you think anyone'll recognize me?"
"Nah, there are probably plenty of people who look similar to Solid Snake, people won't think anything of it. Besides, it's not like a videogame could be real, at least to their knowledge," Hal took a sip from his mug, "what's that look for? You woke me up at like, 6:30 in the morning, didn't know people were judged for drinking coffee in the morning now."
Snake leaned his side against the railing, "people go on runs earlier than that."
"They aren't up until 3 in the morning because of work and other hobbies," mumbled Hal as he took another sip of his coffee.
"You got the night shift, huh?"
"Yeah," Hal thought for a moment, "how about we get breakfast?"
"Can you afford it?"
"Maybe, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."
Hal still couldn't believe it, Snake actually liked him enough to go to breakfast with him even though they just met. He felt so special, everything was so special. The universe chose him of all people for something like this to happen to. Snake needed him, and he needed snake, they were perfect for each other, right? Maybe reality hadn't set in for Snake yet, but it definitely did for Hal, and he was going to be there always. Give his everything to snake, feed him, keep him warm in the winter, make him happy. How dare he have thought otherwise.
Through this, Snake really just hoped Hal wouldn't try anything funny with him, because then he'd have no other choice than to endure. But he supposed endurance was one of his specialties.