Chapter Text
James Potter had a plan.
This was unfortunate.
Mostly because his plans were rarely good.
And because Sirius liked them.
"Absolutely not."
James looked offended.
"I haven't even told you the plan."
"You smiled before mentioning it."
Remus didn't look up from his book.
"That's usually enough."
Sirius nodded.
"Honestly, that's fair."
"Traitors."
The idea came to James during breakfast.
Specifically when he noticed something.
Regulus was watching him.
Not constantly.
Not obviously.
Just enough.
Enough that James noticed.
Enough that James couldn't stop thinking about it.
And unfortunately—
Enough to give him an idea.
A terrible one.
By lunch, Lily Evans was suspicious.
Very suspicious.
"Why are you being nice?"
James blinked.
"I'm always nice."
"No."
"That's hurtful."
"It's accurate."
James handed her an apple.
Lily narrowed her eyes.
"What's the catch?"
"No catch."
"James."
"Okay, maybe a tiny catch."
"There it is."
Across the pavilion, Regulus looked up.
And immediately frowned.
James was laughing.
Lily was laughing.
The two of them were sitting together.
Why were they sitting together?
More importantly—
Why did Regulus care?
He didn't.
Obviously.
Absolutely not.
"You look annoyed."
Regulus nearly jumped.
Barty sat down beside him.
Evan followed.
Unfortunately.
"I'm not annoyed."
"You are."
"I'm not."
"You've been glaring at Potter for ten minutes."
Regulus looked horrified.
"I have not."
"You absolutely have."
Evan looked toward the Gryffindor table.
Then back at Regulus.
Then back again.
A slow grin spread across his face.
"Oh."
"Oh what?"
"Oh."
Regulus suddenly felt nervous.
Which was never a good sign.
For the next few days, things got worse.
James was everywhere.
Talking to Lily.
Walking with Lily.
Sitting with Lily.
Training with Lily.
Lily seemed mostly confused by the whole thing.
Everyone else was entertained.
Especially Sirius.
"You're doing this on purpose."
James smiled.
"What makes you think that?"
Sirius stared.
James stared back.
Sirius stared harder.
James continued smiling.
"Oh my gods."
"What?"
"You're an idiot."
"Probably."
Meanwhile, Barty and Evan had become investigators.
Self-appointed investigators.
The worst kind.
"Operation Potter."
"No."
"Operation Black."
"No."
"Operation Jealousy."
"Absolutely not."
Evan grinned.
"Operation Jealousy it is."
The breakthrough came during sword training.
James and Lily were sparring.
Or trying to.
Mostly James was talking.
Lily was threatening him with a sword.
Reasonably.
Across the arena, Regulus watched.
Completely by accident.
Obviously.
"Interesting."
Regulus looked at Barty.
"No."
"Very interesting."
Evan nodded.
"Extremely interesting."
"There is nothing interesting happening."
"Then why are you staring?"
"I wasn't."
"You just walked into a pole."
Regulus froze.
"...what?"
Evan pointed.
Behind him stood a training post.
The training post Regulus had absolutely walked into.
Hard.
Barty immediately lost the ability to breathe.
That evening, Barty and Evan cornered James.
James immediately looked concerned.
"Why are you smiling?"
"Because we know."
James blinked.
"Know what?"
"The thing."
"What thing?"
"The Regulus thing."
James choked on his drink.
Evan looked delighted.
Barty looked even more delighted.
James looked doomed.
"Oh no."
"Oh yes."
The next morning, Pandora found Regulus sitting by the lake.
"You like him."
Regulus nearly fell into the water.
"What?"
Pandora sat beside him.
"The bird told me."
"There is no bird."
"There was."
"There is always a bird with you."
"Exactly."
Regulus groaned.
Unfortunately, things only got worse from there.
Because now Barty knew.
And Evan knew.
And Pandora knew.
And Sirius was starting to figure it out.
Which meant James's terrible plan had succeeded.
At least partially.
The only people who hadn't figured it out yet were:
James.
And Regulus.
Which, according to everyone else, was deeply embarrassing.
And likely to remain that way for a very long time.