Chapter Text
Through a place of no light, Aaron had found his way, barely keeping afloat.
It had been hard to tell where he was; it had been this way for a long time. Every day felt like a blind run through the woods. Yet, through the ringing in his ears, he could still shiver from the words he knew.
“Look at you, Aaron! Where are you now?” Aphmau always spoke to him, a blind voice in his haze. He would always follow, looking for her voice through the frayed trees. Even if it hurt, he still looked for her; he missed her.
At first, he could barely remember a thing. It was dark and uncomfortable. He always felt like he should be sleeping, but he never knew if he was even awake.
He had heard voices for a while, until they had all fizzled away, all except two.
“No friends to help you! You never spent time making friends.” She was right.
Aaron was alone, someone sad and curled up in himself like a downed dog. Isolated.
Then he began to hear him.
Ein.
He could see it, the hair on his spine lifted every time he could see that devilish smile. Two green eyes bore into his soul and sent him into a frenzy that he didn’t know how to get out of.
Ein had taken Aphmau away from the world, turned her into a blind, obedient dog. She didn’t love Ein, not his Aphmau. She could’ve spent hours rambling on about his acts. She did. Talked his ear off from College to Christmas. His Aphmau would never fall back in love with him.
“Listen… to a coward? You always think you know what’s best for me.” Aphmau had said it, Ein had made her. She was right, he was a coward. He was always trying to do what was best for her, do what was necessary, but it never worked for him. He had been a coward from the moment he had met her.
A lonely, miserable coward.
Aaron had spent his life fighting for her. He had wrangled his way out of his parents' claws and thought that finally, everything would be okay.
He should’ve never left, should’ve never taken that job in the lodge- maybe everything would’ve turned out-
“You never made me happy.” That one hurt the most.
It had all been Ein. The forever potions blinded her, turned her against him, and into him. Ein’s laugh rang out like an alarm, his grin bearing the teeth of a wolf.
He had always been a coward, always trying to do what’s best, always trying to hide that part from him. Ein looked so much like the part of himself he hated the most. Werewolves. Ultimas. It was his blood that led them to this. Ein was just a catalyst.
Aphmau’s words still stung.
Please! He wanted to yell, This isn’t- you’re not like this! I know you! He had known, deep down in his heart, that it was all lies. It was just hard to convince himself when the words were coming from her throat. Her face, that one that always had a soft gaze on him, contorted into one so angry. It made him feel small. He was backed into the corner.
“The best thing you could do for me?”
“Is die.”
He didn’t die.
He almost did, Aaron knew that. He could still feel the warmth that bloomed in his chest. Aphmau had stabbed him. She had killed him.
It had soaked through his shirt and stained his skin red. He had stumbled, and he had free-fallen. It felt like hours, plummeting as his lungs began to choke on his own blood. The trees had gotten closer, branches whipping all around him.
He heard a crack, then everything was gone.
Maybe he was dead. He didn’t stay that way. There had been a light so heavenly he couldn’t even squint.
Then She was there.
An angel.
There was a lot he couldn’t remember, where he’d been or what he’d seen- but her voice was like a serene melody to his ears. Then he woke up.
With a gaping hole in his chest where a knife had once been, Aaron Lycan had staggered to his feet and limped his way back home. He’d cursed every drop that turned the snow red. It always felt like he was still walking.
Maybe he was dead.
It had never been about protecting himself, he had just wanted to keep Aphmau safe. She didn’t deserve to be tethered to Ein for the rest of her life. She could live it hating him, but she could live it free. That’s all that mattered to him.
He thinks he remembered someone else there. A husky voice of caution- Garroth? There were two emeralds, and he had given one to him. Right. For Zane. Their blood ran deep, intertwined. Something beautiful. Something that never should’ve been touched by his own. Aaron didn’t want to ruin their lives alongside his.
He was trying, trying to bring Aphmau back to herself. He needed to fix her. It didn’t work, nothing he did was working. His nightmarish carousel never stopped spinning. He couldn’t see upside or down. He couldn’t feel his heart beat in his ribcage, he couldn’t even feel hers.
Aphmau was dead, she was dead and it was all his fault. Aaron ran to her side, she felt cold, colder than the snow. He tried to listen for her heart, frostbitten fur pressed close to her chest. There was nothing there.
He cried, hands bloody as he begged her to wake up. Aphmau was gone, dead beneath him. He didn’t know how, but he failed.
But he could still hear it-
“I wish I had never met you!”
Her voice still rang in his ears, cold and unloving. Aaron was tired of her harshness. He had been devoted to her, given his life to her, and the only thing left were cruel nothings. He would beg if he had to, but he just wanted his Aphmau back. Once more to see her with a smile on her face, no malice present with the upturn of her gaze.
“I never loved you!” It was always wishful thinking, she even sounded like she was teasing him, and oh, he could see it behind his eyes. Aphmau curled against Ein’s side, all of her affection pooling out on him. He would hold her in the ways that Aaron once had. Bleeding warmth into her cold skin. Like a wolf with its teeth sunk into the wool of a sheep. Maybe Aaron was selfish, maybe he wanted her back more than everything in the world. But that wasn’t happening. Ein was twisting his way into the crevices of everywhere in which Aaron had settled. Their house, their friends, their life.
He failed. Aphmau was Gone and everything was worse now. He failed! He failed! he failed he failed he-
Aaron’s breath hitched, and he woke up with a gasp.