Chapter Text
Something was wrong.
It was not that Tam knew that something was wrong. It was a tight feeling in his gut of waiting, of anticipation, of dread...
The shadows knew so, too. They were seemingly charged with energy, restless and jumpy, sparked with nerves, as they thrummed and pulsed in tune with Tam's racing heart, twinkling in time with the starry sky above his head, bleeding silver and grays onto the world below.
But just what were they waiting for?
"Concentrate, Tam. Focus. You must control the shadows. Learning to control an ability, especially an elemental and extraordinary one, is difficult; progress will be slow, but you must persevere. You must not let the shadows control you. You must control them." Said Lady Zillah, her shifting blue gaze sharp and piercing through Tam's worried mind, bringing him back into the real world, a world of frustrations and anger as he failed, again and again, to do whatever it was that Lady Zillah was demanding of him to do with the darkness.
It just never was enough; his control was simply too weak.
Too damn weak.
No, not just his control. He himself was just too weak, too slow, too... useless... After seeing the horrors inflicted on Sophie, Fitz, and everyone else, he realized that perhaps... he needed to get stronger... way stronger.
(Even if that meant using a power that he hated and feared.)
It felt so utterly unfair that the Neverseen were always overpowering, outsmarting, just being so far ahead of them, not just one step, but a million steps ahead of them. Beating him and the Black Swan time and time again. Always.
Channeling his inner anger, Tam glared at his hands with silver-flecked blue eyes from behind his silver-tipped bangs, watching intently how they flickered with a small shivering orb of deep, dark shadowflux and shadowvapor hovering a few inches above them.
Slowly, the ball of darkness grew steadily larger and larger, more tendrils feeding into it from the sides of the cavernous room, until it hovered above Tam and Lady Zillah's heads, bigger than both of their heads combined, maybe even more, and practically crackling with power.
Tam breathed deep, long breaths, feeling cold rivulets of sweat sliding down his back like icy fingers as he strained to keep the shadowflux together in the spherical shape.
The longer Tam stared at the darkness, the more his vision narrowed so that all else, the dim crystals lit by fire, Lady Zillah watching with a proud glint in those hypnotic eyes of hers, and Linh's gaze, gentle and worried, who was also shaping balls of water into jumping, leaping animals that flew through the air around her while she kept her blue elf-eyes on him, faded away into a not-so-far corner in his mind.
Focus. Tam urged himself, letting his thoughts wrap and twine together with the voices of the shadowflux, becoming one with the shadowflux, commanding it.
Moment after moment, time seemed to both drag on and fly by, like both a crawling snail and a soaring bird; the darkness hardened and condensed, and finally, it was now a single, large ball of black, though under the hardened layer, there were still shadows that swirled around like a starless night sky.
Tam felt a slightly manic-sounding laugh bubble from his lips that had suddenly parted at the magnificent sight before him. Behind him, he could hear a quiet cheer of joy at his success from Linh, who Tam knew was probably grinning widely with her eyes sparkling like diamonds, blue and glittering, like how everything looked in the Lost Cities, but better, far better.
And to make it even better, he heard Lady Zillah say, her voice laced with pleasure, "You did well, Tam. Far better than before. A great feat to behold, one that is sure to be the beginning of a new era."
But, of course, all good things must always come to an end.
And so did this.
The darkness sparked, like electricity, dancing with a dark teal color, so dark it was almost black in color. In fact, in some places, the flashes of soundlessly crackling electricity were actually black, a black that reeked of danger and corruption, as if it could absorb everything, while at the same time, tainting all like a plague, but all of those releases of radiant energy that tinted the cavernous room in its light, making everyone look slighty sickly, were lined with a shining cyan, some flickering completely blue.
The ball of darkness pulsed like an acursed heart, floating unchained in the air, far above their heads. Suddenly, there was a disgustingly wet, tearing sound as the ball split into two, a line forming in the middle and pulling apart, revealing a swirling portal-like thing that seemed to be filled with stars, a vast night sky adorned with the entire universe in its darkness; it was also filled with unknown shadows that writhed and pulsed like a canvas made of blackened, beating maggots.
"What...?"
And a person.
A literal person was slowly being pushed out of the portal, a boy, seeming to be around Tam's age, maybe a few years old, at most.
The boy was all sharp angles and harsh edges. His eyes, which had red eyeliner decorating them with a bold pop that contrasted with his sickly pale skin, were closed. Under his closed eyes, darkening the underside, where eye bags looked like slight bruises, spoke silently of sleepless nights, like how Tam had felt all these days of waiting for Sophie and Fitz to recover, and he had spiky, short, dark teal hair with streaks of lighter teal in it.
The boy had tentacle-like shadows writhing around his neck, wrists, and ankles, keeping him from falling completely out of the fluctuating star-shadows.
As Tam looked even closer, his mouth open slightly, and his hands trembling softly, he noticed that the boy even had a purple diamond-shaped tattoo on his forehead, and a faintly, seemingly at least, glowing green tattoo around his right arm.
Strange tattoos...
Strange shadows...
Strange clothes...
The boy wore a white sleeveless shirt with subtle cloud patterns; with its left side extending further to cover his left shoulder, two gleaming white, tooth-like things protruding out of the black fabric that the green stone rested on, and other various ornaments and accessories adorned him. On his lower half were baggy dark purple pants and dark boots with gold-colored soles over those pants.
A true periwinkle-colored belt on his waist held a somewhat disturbing, twisted mask that basically looked as if it were snarling eternally at everybody, and it also kept a loincloth with cloud patterns in place. His hands were covered with one black and one dark turquoise glove with gold decals lining the front of the dark purple leather, and gold on his knuckles. On his left glove was a glowing teal stone encased in gold, and his neck had a beaded necklace with two pink tassels around a glinting blade-like ornament on it.
Basically, all aspects of his clothing showed that he was very non-elf, or at least not the kind of traditional elf that Tam saw, wearing tunics and leggings, or other extravagant, jewel-encrusted clothes, but the boy's clothes were still equally lavish, yet weren't in the usual elf-style. Yet the boy couldn't have been a human, due to his clothes, which seemed way more complex than the usual human attire.
The strange boy slowly leaned forward, the shadow tentacles stretching and stretching until they seemed on the verge of snapping.
And then they finally snapped.
It was not the sound of a normal thread breaking, more like that same disgusting tearing sound from when the ball opened and revealed the portal—and the boy.
The sound echoed through the room, and even time itself seemed to slow into a crawl.
Tam rushed forward, arms reaching outwards to catch the boy. The wind whistled in his ears, his heart pumping adrenaline through his veins, sending energy coursing through Tam's body, and it felt so loud that he believed Lady Zillah and Linh could probably hear it.
Thump.
~ ~ ~
Xiao was floating.
Floating in an endless sea of darkness that stretched past the eternal horizon.
Here, he felt no pain, no voices, just serene nothingness. A calm, empty peace that was completely, blissfully quiet... Ah, how long has it been since the last time without any noise? A time without hearing the constant roaring, whispering, and screaming of the voices of raging god remnants.
Is this death?
If it truly was death, then Xiao wouldn't mind this 'existence,' or lack of one.
"H... Ey!"
A voice, faint and quiet, floated by; he ignored it, wishing for the silence from before.
"Hey!"
It grew louder and more worried, almost sounding like the voice of a person, urgent and slightly panicked.
"Way... k... Up!"
What was it afraid of? Was there something he needed to fight? A monster to kill? A person to protect? He just couldn't shake the thought that he had forgotten something... something important...
"Wake up!"
Xiao awoke to blinding lights, and people crowded around him. He startled, eyes widened, and pupils slitted into two lines in a pool of gold-flecked blue, jumping up onto a soft ground—a bed—eyes glaring at these strange human-like blue-eyed people, and a singular brown-eyed one.
They were not human.
Yet they were also not monsters.
He quickly spotted his spear, leaning against the side of a shelf cluttered with strange, multi-colored vials and other containers of medicine, and he lunged for it, leaping off the bed onto the clear glass floor, grabbing the spear, and going into a defensive position in a swift motion, trying to ignore the pain in his head, the ache of the lights in his eyes, the pain and soreness in every limb of his body, the wave of nausea that washed over him, and just how damn exhausted he felt.
A man with wild, dark hair and gray-blue, bloodshot eyes, wearing a brightly colored tunic decorated with foreign animals in a multitude of colors, slowly walked toward Xiao, holding his arms up and smiling, and said in a soft voice, "You shouldn't try to be so active after waking up from those wounds of yours. And please settle down; I do have other patients here."
On another cot was a girl with brown eyes staring at him.
On the cot next to the girl's was a boy with blonde hair.
Both were, seemingly, severely injured.
"Where am I, and who are you all? Answer now." Xiao snapped back, stumbling backwards from pain, hitting one of the container-covered shelves, hearing them clink and wobble as he re-adjusted his grip on the spear to point the blade at the warily smiling man.
"You are currently at The Healing Center, located on Foxfire campus, and I am Elwin Heslege, an elvin physician. When they arrived with your unconscious body, Bullhorn screamed fairly loudly; I had quite the scare!"
Elves...? Where have I heard this term before? Perhaps it was something the Traveler or Zhongli told me about.
And screaming? Bullhorn? Foxfire? A healing center, like Bubu Pharmacy? Just what is this 'Elf' saying?
The elf—Elwin—gestured to the people in the room, pointing at a boy with silver-tipped bangs, "Tam, he carried you here," then at a girl with silver-tipped hair, "Linh," and then at a lady with piercing, shifting blue eyes, and wearing blindingly white clothing, "and Lady Zillah."
"Those over there are my current patients." A finger was directed at the brown-eyed girl. Xiao finds it strange that all the other elves are blue-eyed, yet she is the only brown-eyed one, and he marks that observation down, ignoring it for now.
"Her name is Sophie."
There is a familiar bitterness that lingers around her, one that Xiao is far too accustomed to, one that he has far too many unspoken memories attached to, one that settles in his tongue like a spray of mist, and makes bile rise up his throat.
It would be best to stay away from her, and the other boy, for injuries only make them more vulnerable to the devastating effects of Karmic Debt, for both human and non-human, and because of the bitterness around her.
Then he motions at a blonde boy with a glittery, dragon-like toy that he hugs, "and Fitz."
Xiao could still sense more presences outside of the room, including more of those whom he believed to be 'Elves.' However, he said nothing about them, opting to act unaware. After all, he didn't truly care anyway.
"Don't worry, none of us will hurt you, so please, lower your weapon," Elwin said, though his smile was more strained than comforting.
The silence returned, and after a few seconds of contemplating and weighing their threat levels, he decided that if the day came that they needed to be eradicated, they would pose no danger to him.
So he expelled his weapon into his inventory, the pocket dimension which held all the things he would rather not carry on his body.
The physician's gaze lingered at the place where his spear used to be, and then he pivoted around, shuffling among the vials on another cluttered shelf, before making a pleased sound. Then he turned to face Xiao, handing him a clear bottle with a label, the words reading 'Youth in a Bottle.'
"Is this poison?"
Elwin laughed, though it sounded hollow, more worried and concerned than actually jolly, "I am a physician; it is my job to heal you, not harm you!"
Xiao tilted his head, shifting the bottle in his hand, feeling the chilly exterior and gazing at the water-like liquid inside, "What is this then?"
The physician's smile was seemingly wide and welcoming, his voice was bright and energetic, and paired with those twinkling blue eyes of his, he reminded Xiao of that cook, Xiangling, or that pesky human, Hu Tao, yet it all seemed subdued; it all seemed... fake. "Youth. It contains an essential enzyme that helps flush toxins out of the system, essential for purifying the body of all the nasty stuff of this world."
Toxins... Purifying...
In a swift motion, Xiao twisted and pulled the cap off, a flick of his wrist sending it away in sparks of gold, and then he brought the bottle to his lips and gulped it down in two swallows.
The liquid was cold and refreshing, like the air at the top of Liyue's mountains, and it even had a sweetness to it, reminiscent of Almond Tofu. It was unlike any other water he had tasted before, traveling down his throat as it seemed to leave a path of vitality and relaxation in its wake.
The ever-present tension in his shoulders eased by a hairbreadth, the pain in his head and in the very marrow of his bones and his flesh subsided into a tolerable ache, exhaustion replaced by energy from a mere drink, and he sighed when he finished the bottle, reopening his blue-gold eyes that had fluttered closed while he drank.
"Oh!" Elwin exclaimed, a brief expression of surprise on his face that quickly transformed back into his smile, "I certainly didn't expect that, but was it good?"
"It was fine." Xiao curtly replied, the bottle disappearing into his inventory, as his hands crossed over his chest.
"Good, good." The elf seemed content, "Now, I have a few questions for you, nothing too hard to answer, I hope."
Xiao's eyebrow quirked upward as he tilted his head again, like a bird, one with black, gold, and teal plumage. "Hm?" His voice was softer, still raspy, of course, but its edges were no longer so sharp.
"Your body... It is unlike any I have seen before, yet at the same time, I do believe I have seen something similar very recently." Elwin paused, his face becoming darker, and the room gained a sense of tension as the conversation shifted to a more serious side. He glanced at the other two patients in the room with a gaze of sorrow, "It has something to do with the murkiness, or perhaps, echoes in your body."
Murkiness?
Echoes?
"What?"
Did he mean my Karmic Debt?
Xiao opened his mouth again, trying to speak, but his voice died out in his throat, and was replaced by a painful sensation as if someone was squeezing his throat with an iron grip, and as if thorns were rubbing against the flesh inside his esophagus, making him cough and hack, choking on nothing as he doubled over, his hand clawing at his throat as the other gripped his chest.
Elwin rushed toward Xiao.
The moment Elwin's hand touched Xiao, he felt a sharp energy race through his veins and a stab at his heart, pulling it outwards, and his body flashed with dark, swirling smoke for a second before it disappeared, flowing back into his chest, in the middle of his heart.
And then, suddenly, the pain stopped, and Xiao could breathe again.
Xiao's heart pounded in his ears, his jaw clamped shut, eyes screwed tightly closed, breath shallow and quick, and his entire body shook like a pathetic leaf, coiled up like a spring, all the lost tension having rushed back tenfold.
It was as if the mere thought of his Karmic Debt brought it back to torment him with its agony. It was as if the mere idea of trying even to say the words 'Karmic Debt' allowed it to appear.
Pathetic. Weak. Useless. Acting this way in front of possible threats. How vulnerable.
"Just what was that?" The physician's face was scrunched up, and all that stress he had sensed before was clear on his face, no longer hidden in his reddened eyes and that tense smile.
Xiao looked up with half-lidded eyes, his breathing evening out, "Nothing," he rasped.
"Nothing? How can that be nothing?" Said an unfamiliar voice. Looking to the side, Xiao saw Tam, his face a question, eyes sharp and alert, they were flitting from his gloves, his forehead, and his heart.
Xiao frowned, "It is fine. I have dealt with worse."
"I don't think that's comforting." Whispered the girl, Linh; her eyes were gentle, and she was both innocent and not innocent at the same time, as though she had seen the horrors of this world, yet still remained mostly pure-hearted. She reminded Xiao painfully of Bonanus, although she seemed more confident in a way. But still, the blue, the gentleness, what a coincidence.
Another bottle of Youth was placed in his hands by Elwin, "Please, take this."
"...Fine."
Another two gulps, another wave of numbness and relaxation, and another moment of silence thick with waiting.
Nothing happens.
The older elf, Lady Zillah, steps forward; her face is unreadable, yet there is a kind of curiosity, a desire for knowledge hidden in those eyes that change their color of blue as if they are indecisive, "Care to explain?"
"Why should I?" He can feel the heavy gaze of a girl—Sophie—on his body, and it makes him feel uncharacteristically restless.
"Because I believe I have a possible answer."
He faces Lady Zillah, "An answer to what?"
"Your echoes." She replies curtly, her voice breathy despite the bluntness.
Xiao tilts his head; confusion doesn't mar his outward appearance, yet he feels it nonetheless: "I do not know what you speak of."
"Not many do, for it is an unpleasant truth for our glimmering lies," her gaze is pointedly on Elwin, speaking at the physician with her eyes, "Echoes are born from the presence of darkness; it is the memory left behind from such darkness, when it is imbued with strong emotions, like anger."
He still feels confusion, for what they speak of isn't true. His Karmic Debt is born from the wrath of vengeful gods that had been slain during the Archon War, and not all gods are simply darkness.
And yet... they are still undeniably similar, after all, lingering emotions...
Elwin butts in, "Because of your echoes, I cannot fully access the extent of your wounds, or any other possible damage," he breaths in shakily, "My other two patients, Sophie and Fitz, also have echoes, though compared to yours..."
The silence is prolonged.
Sophie looks quite uncomfortable, looking at her hands and Fitz, and so do the other people. No one is smiling anymore, and their eyes reflect grim memories Xiao doesn't share.
"Your entire body is echo-touched. Especially your hands, heart, and head. My light cannot penetrate the fogginess from the echoes, and that means I can't know if you are still in pain, and so on..."
Elwin's voice trails off.
"I cannot explain to you things I do not know myself," Xiao says bluntly, his face completely blank. He turns around, walking towards what seems to be an exit out of this unfamiliar place, "I will leave now, no need to worry yourselves with my burdens."
But he is blocked.
Another person was in front of him, yet nothing was there. He had stopped before crashing into whatever was there, but that didn't mean he didn't know about it, despite its invisibility.
A heartbeat, the sound of breathing, faint, but still noticeable.
Whatever is blocking his way is another elf, but seemingly invisible, as if they were hiding.
"Move."
A few seconds pass, and then the flickering image of a girl appears, blinking in and out of focus multiple times before solidifying and stabilizing.
"Caught me, huh." Says the elvin girl with long brown hair and teal eyes, having physical traits similar to Fitz, with the same teal eyes and other facial features, but her body, especially her upper half and arms, was covered in countless scars.
"Biana?" Sophie whispers, though it seems the other elves are not surprised at how this 'Biana' was able to become invisible and maintain that invisibility; it is as if it is a normal thing.
What a strange world.
~ ~ ~
Xiao had been ushered to another room while Biana, Fitz, and Sophie talked, and now he stood awkwardly with Elwin, Tam, and Linh, while Lady Zillah had simply left.
"Ah, I forgot, I never asked for your name. What is it?" Elwin asks as he scratches his neck and smiles nervously.
"Xiao," He replies curtly, crossing his arms as he gazes at them with a reserved look.
"Xiao..." Tam murmurs, practically subconsciously, and Xiao ignores it, averting his eyes from the elves to stare at anything else but another living, breathing being.
The silence returns, and Xiao can still hear the conversation in the other room despite the distance, so he tries ignoring it, drowning it out with his own thoughts.
"Your echoes are very volatile, far more aggressive than the ones I previously encountered." Says Tam, looking at Xiao with those pale blue eyes of his that are so... alluring.
"Of course they are. They are the remnants of rage from beings far stronger than you."
Tam stays silent, then replies, "Do not underestimate our strength."
"..."
Xiao just sighs, becoming non-verbal once more.
"How do you deal with them?" Linh asks, worry in her eyes.
He takes multiple moments to answer, but responds wearily and with a gaze that speaks of agony and endless suffering, one that is so heavy, it brings a larger load of tension back into the room: "I have grown used to them."
"Also..." he adds on, remembering something, "I have a medicine that is useful in alleviating the pain."
"What kind of medicine is it?" Elwin beseeches, his eyes relighting with flimsy hope, and Xiao cannot help but feel an unfamiliar stab of pity spear through his chest.
"Not a medicine you can make."
"What?" Elwin laughs, "I am a far better physician than you must believe. I promise you."
"The materials used cannot be found here, and the consequences the patient will receive will simply be too much to bear. It is not a matter of mastery or experience, but of the body of the patient and how long it can last." Xiao responds, recalling the words of warning Zhongli would say.
'Nothing of this world can withstand the power of this medicine.'
But...
Was he truly still in Teyvat...?
If not, then... would his karmic debt still affect this world, too? Would his medicine last? Could it still be made? What about his vision?
No, no, he needs to stop thinking, or else he will spiral.
So Xiao stopped, sighing as he pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes.
I will do anything to go back to Liyue.
"How is it possible that your medicine is also that dangerous? Isn't it supposed to help you?"
"...It's my physique, and it is necessary for my health."
"Did you make it?"
"No, someone else."
"Are you able to contact them by any chance?"
"No."
"Oh..."
Elwin looked dejected for barely a second before he smiled again, though it came out like a grimace, "You have a place to go, right?"
Xiao opened his eyes, averting them, "No..."
"..."
"Apologies for being such a burden to you."
"No, no, no, you don't have to apologize! I'm sure I can arrange a place for you to be until you get back on your feet, alright?" Elwin said, waving his arms around frantically, and panic settling slightly into his voice.
"You don't have to..."
"I really don't mind doing this for you. It's fine! All fine!"
Was Elwin lying?
Xiao hoped not...
But if Elwin could bring him back to Liyue, then he would agree.
"My home is a place called 'Liyue.' Can you help me return to it?"
"Ah, I'll try!"
"Alright..." Xiao said, crossing his arms and nodding, a faint dip of his head in Elwin's direction, with approval, and Elwin beamed.