Chapter Text
2 years later
Stannis took a deep breath, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as he slowly let it back out.
"Listen, there is no need to be this upset. You are letting your emotions run away with you once again. It isn't a question of wanting sleep anymore. It's a matter of needing it. I don't think you quite grasp that concept." Stannis opened his eyes and looked down at the squirming baby in his lap. Big dark blue eyes looked up at him, chubby fist shoved into his mouth while he made loud sucking noises.
"I thought not." Stannis sighed again, rubbing a hand down his cheek, a three day stubble scraping against his palm.
"Murphy, son, I know it's only been seven weeks, but surely you know the difference between night and day."
Murphy gurgled, the slobbery fist that had been in his mouth waving around wildly. Stannis grinned despite his exhaustion, letting the boy have his finger so he'd stop flailing about. It had been a long seven weeks. Stannis wasn't there a lot when Shireen was this little so he hadn't realized how much work it would be. Not that Murphy was a bad baby. In fact, he was rather good. He didn't cry much, only fussed about when he was hungry. The first three weeks had been pretty hard on his sweet wife, as Murphy seemed to want to do nothing but nurse for hours on end with only a thirty minute break between feedings. Sansa was tired and sore and still recovering for the twenty hour labour and delivery. Stannis had done what he could to help her, but as he lacked the ability to lactate, it wasn't much. Changing nappies, or wet clothing, and a lot of rocking and burping.
In the last few weeks, Murphy had started sleeping more consistently at night for longer stretches and often didn't need to be nursed to go back to sleep, only changed and rocked. Tonight, however, he seemed to just want to lay on Stannis' outstretched legs and look at him. Sansa still hadn't had a full nights sleep since having Murphy, so Stannis had taken the baby into the guest room so as not to bother her rest.
"I would like to apologize to you now." Stannis told his son. "It seems you have gotten a lot of your looks from the Baratheon side. Hopefully you grow into them as well as your Uncle Renly or even Robert when he was younger. Just try and take after your mother in the personality department."
"Stannis?" Startled by the unexpected voice, Stannis looked up at the doorway to find Sansa standing there, her hair mussed and tangled, one hand rubbing her eye.
"What are you doing?"
"Talking with our son." he looked down at Murphy, who was craning his neck back once he had heard his mothers voice.
"He's seven weeks old, Stannis." Sansa smiled. "What could you be talking about?"
"Sleeping schedules." he informed her. Sansa laughed lightly, leaning a shoulder against the doorframe. She wore only a nightdress, a soft cotton with little straps that could easily be pulled off of her shoulder in order to feed. It wasn't sexy lingerie, but Sansa still looked lovely in it. Especially now, the soft light from the single lamp casting her in golden tones, the thin material clinging to newly enlarged breasts. Pregnancy hadn't changed her body by much. Bigger breasts, yes, and her hips were a little wider, a few pale marks lining her stomach and hips. She had regained her figure quickly, aided by a healthy pregnancy and the calorie burning of breastfeeding.
Stannis took a deep breath and looked away from her, back at their son. It wouldn't do to get an erection while holding the baby.
Sansa had been given leave to resume sexual activities by her midwife during the last visit a week ago, and they had quickly resumed some of their activities. He'd brought her pleasure with his fingers or his mouth and she had done the same for him, but they had yet to have penetrative sex again. Sansa was worried it would hurt since his cock was bigger than his fingers and Stannis actually shared that worry. As shameful as it was, he and Selyse hadn't had sex again after she'd had Shireen. He wasn't sure if it would be the same for either of them.
"Is he not in agreement with your schedule?"
"No." Stannis cleared his throat. "It seems he likes the night life."
"Bring him back to our room and I'll nurse him." she offered. "Maybe he'll go back to sleep."
"You should go back to sleep. You haven't slept a full night yet."
"And neither have you." she reminded him. "I feel quite rested, actually. You let me get a straight four hours. I feel better than I have in a long time."
Stannis sighed, but relented. He wasn't doing the boy any good, and he did seem to be getting hungry with the way he was sucking his fist so incessantly. Watching Sansa breastfeed Murphy had been a surprising thing for Stannis to witness. Selyse had pumped and fed Shireen from a bottle for a while before switching to formula, so it was something he'd never actually seen done before. It always made his heart swell in his chest to see his son at Sansa's breast. There was nothing sexual about it, but it warmed him greatly to bear witness to such a natural act, to see the love simply pouring out of Sansa as she looked down at Murphy.
It hadn't always been like that. For the first few weeks, Sansa was often crying while feeding him. Her breasts were painfully full, her nipples chapped and bleeding and Murphy was always hungry, which meant Sansa was always enduring pain during their feedings. She was exhausted and frustrated and stressed out. She just didn't understand why something that was supposed to be so natural was so hard. Stannis had eventually put in a call to Catelyn, wanting to know how to help his wife. Catelyn had told him to call a lactation consultant and so he did. After a few sessions where a sweet older woman came in and showed Sansa the proper way to get Murphy to latch, and different ways to position him, things had gotten better. It became less painful for Sansa, Murphy was getting the milk he needed, and the stress and frustration faded.
Sansa fed him while sitting on the edge of their bed, swaying back and forth gently while humming a soothing tune. Stannis scooted to her side of the bed until he was laying just behind her. Moving her hair out of his way, he kissed the smooth, warm skin of her exposed shoulder. Sansa dropped her head to the side so it rested atop his.
"He's asleep." Sansa whispered, shifting so Murphy's mouth pulled off of her nipple. Stannis helped her pull the strap of her gown back up. "I'll go lay him down."
Stannis leaned back on one elbow as he watched her leave the bedroom, taking Murphy to his nursery in the next room. He bit his bottom lip as he watched the gentle sway of her hips as she walked, the long bare length of her legs.
Gods, he wanted her. It had been too long since he'd been able to fully enjoy her body. They had remained sexually active throughout her entire pregnancy, even having sex the morning she went into labour, but seven weeks was too long. He lay back on his back, staring at the ceiling. It was close to five in the morning. As it was a Sunday, Stannis didn't have to be to work today. It was his only full day off, although he only worked half days Friday and Saturday unless any big shipping freights came in.
Maybe he could talk Sansa into fooling around a little before they went to sleep. She had said she felt rested. Perhaps he could even convince her it was time they had sex again. The thought of it, combined with the memory of her lush bottom swaying as she left a few moments ago, had him half hard by the time she came back into the room. He had a fleeting thought of covering it somehow, with his hands or the blanket because his pyjama bottoms did little to conceal it. But over the years with Sansa he'd become far more comfortable with intimacy and his own sexual desires. He didn't feel the need to hide his desire from her.
"He's out." she said whispered, although she didn't need to. The house was well built. Murphy wouldn't hear them from his room.
"That's good." Stannis folded his arms behind his head and watched Sansa approach the bed. Her eyes flicked down to the bulge in his pants and a slow smile tugged at her mouth.
"I see someone isn't ready for bed." she said teasingly, stopping at the side of the bed with her hands on her hips.
"I want you, Sansa." he told her plainly. "Do you think we could before we go back to sleep?"
Sansa bit her lip, her face flushing a bit, and her hands slid down off her hips to toy with the skirt of her nightgown.
"Yes. Give me just a second." With that, she scuttled off to the bathroom, giving him a seductive smile before she closed the door. Stannis let out a breath, wondering what she needed a second for. Perhaps she needed to use the restroom. Whatever the reason, she needed to hurry.
Making use of the time she was gone, Stannis rolled over and looked in his nightstand, making sure the condoms he'd bought a few weeks ago were still there. Just in case. He wouldn't burden Sansa with another pregnancy so soon after having Murphy. Her body needed time to heal and they both needed time to adjust to a newborn. They both wanted one more child, but agreed they should wait at least two years so Murphy could have all of their love and attention for a while and Sansa could recover fully. Stannis just wanted it to be born before he turned fifty, which at forty three now, he had time.
His thought process was brought to a halt when the bathroom door opened and Sansa stepped out. She'd brushed her hair while in there, it now hung in silky waves around her shoulders and down her back.
Her naked shoulders and back.
Stannis almost choked on his breathing. Others take him, she was glorious. She moved hesitantly to the side of the bed, her hands folded over her stomach. She was hiding, Stannis knew, those tiny little lines that marred her skin now. Marks that did absolutely nothing to take away from the beauty and perfection of his wife. Neither did the widening of her hips and the enlargement of her breasts. All of them spoke of strength and bravery and proclaimed her a mother, and to him, that made her exceedingly more beautiful.
So he told her so, in halting, awkward words, wishing he had the time to write them out. He'd do so later, sit down and write her a letter of how attractive and lovely he found her. Over the last two years they'd written each other lots of letters, or just little notes, leaving them on pillows or mirrors or nightstands. Occasionally in her art studio on her easel or he would find them in his briefcase or lunch box.
Stannis coaxed her down onto the bed next to him, showing her with his hands and mouth how much he desired her, which he could do far better then speak the words. He kept his hands and mouth gentle on her breasts, gently kneading the newly enlarged flesh, lapping and gently rolling her nipples with his lips and tongue. No matter that he only sucked gently, the warm sweetness of her milk covered his taste buds as a bead trickled out occasionally. He found he didn't mind it in the least.
Leaving her breasts, he kissed down her stomach, softer now than normal but as she'd resumed her morning runs last week with Murphy in a jogging stroller, he knew she would be back in shape in no time. Not that he minded the softness. Not at all, and he showed her that by caressing and kissing every inch of skin he could, letting his beard gently scrape her skin.
"Stannis." she giggled his name when his stubble tickled over her hip bone, so Stannis did it again before moving further down on the bed, lifting those long legs of hers to drape over his shoulders, kissing the smooth insides of her thighs as he worked his way up to her centre. Sansa's hands found the back of his head as his lips found her folds, his tongue teasing her open so he could drink in her essence and her arousal. Her smell always inflamed him and he loved how responsive she was when he went down on her, how her hips would lift off the mattress and undulate against his face. How she would lose control over herself and moan and sob and tremble as he brought her to her peak. It didn't hurt that it got her wetter than anything else. Even with a condom on, when she was this wet sex was always better for the both of them.
"Stannis, that was lovely." she smiled at him as he crawled back over her body.
"It was." he agreed, kissing her neck and throat, bringing a hand up to play with her breasts once again. "Can I...will you let me inside of you?" he asked as he traced the shape of her little ear with the tip of his tongue.
Sansa inhaled shakily. "Yes."
Stannis groaned, a hot surge of blood south making his eyes roll back in his head. He lifted his head to meet Sansa's eyes.
"You are sure?" he questioned. "It's alright. I want you to be ready."
"I am." she nodded with a smile. "Just...go slow? At first at least."
Stannis kissed her deeply, wanting to thank her and assure her. Rising from the bed, he quickly removed his pyjamas and briefs before grabbing the box of condoms out of his nightstand and setting them on top after removing a packet.
"Why don't you get on top?" Stannis offered as he finished rolling the condom on and making sure the tip felt intact. When she didn't answer, Stannis looked over at her, finding her looking uncertain and her hands covering her stomach once again.
"I want to see you, sweet girl." he rasped, coming back onto the bed and touching her cheek. "And I don't want to hurt you. This way you can control everything that's happening."
Sansa smiled at him, leaning her face into his hand, and nodded. "Alright."
Stannis kissed her swiftly, then moved to lean back against the headboard, figuring she would feel more comfortable with herself if he was closer to her face instead of looking up her body. He helped guide her leg over him and she shifted until she was rising above the head of his cock. Reaching down to hold his length, she met his eyes and gave him a few firm strokes, teasing herself with the head. Stannis sucked in a deep breath, hands gripping her waist. Leaning forward, he brought a nipple into his mouth and stroked the tip with the flat of his tongue. He had to pull away as she lowered herself onto him so he wouldn't accidently bite her.
She felt no different, other than he'd gotten used to no latex between them. Not that it mattered. If anything, it was a good thing he had to wear it right now because he was already struggling not to come too quickly. She was so hot and tight and perfect.
She went slowly, easing him into her inch by inch. Stannis clenched his jaw tightly, holding her waist to help her along. Forcing his eyes open, he watched her face, wondering if it felt any different for her. Her head was bowed slightly, eyes closed in concentration as her lips fell open in a silent cry when she sank fully onto him.
"Alright?" he croaked, then cleared his throat. "Is it alright? Are you okay?"
Sansa's eyes blinked open, the blacks of her pupils blown wide. She smiled. "Yes. You feel amazing." she slowly lifted herself up, then back down and Stannis was the one moaning.
"Oh, Stannis." she braced her hands on his shoulders as she started moving with more purpose. "I've missed this. I've missed you."
Stannis opened his mouth to draw in air, hands sliding down to her hips to help her steady her up and down rhythm while she rocked forward every time their pelvis' touched.
"I've missed you, Minnie." he managed to rasp, running his hands up her stomach once she seemed comfortable in her pace. He cupped her breasts, enjoying the way they swayed and bounced with her motions. Looking down, he could see where she took him in and out of her body, how wet and shinny his length was, how pink and swollen she was.
"Fucking hells." he looked away from the sight, back up to her face. She wasn't looking at him. Her head was thrown back and her eyes closed. She was starting to lose that rhythm she had found and he tried to help her regain it, but in the end she rode him how it felt best for her, fingernails biting into his shoulders and hips slamming into his as she ground herself onto his pelvic bone. She was stunning in her passion, wild and untamed as she sought out her pleasure. So open and free and completely his. Stannis fell in love with her a little more at that moment.
He managed to hold off on coming until she did, but it was a close thing. Even when she collapsed down onto his chest, her face turned into his neck, he couldn't stop lifting his hips into hers, milking every last ounce of pleasure he could before his cock started going soft and he knew he needed to pull out of her before risking the condom coming off.
Rolling them gently, he reluctantly left the warmth of her body, holding the base of the condom on so it didn't slip off.
"I'll be right back." he assured her, kissing her lips before he went to the bathroom. Once he was cleaned up, he filled the rinsing glass with water and took it and a wet cloth out to Sansa. He insisted she stay laid down while he cleaned her off with gentle touches and she didn't put up a fight.
"Thank you, Sansa." he told her as he lay down in bed next to her and pulled the covers up over them.
"For what?" she rolled so she was facing him, intertwining their legs together as she pressed herself against him.
"For allowing me back inside of you."
Sansa made a scoffing sound and rolled her eyes. "You don't have to thank me for that. I wanted it just as much as you. I was just...worried I guess."
"It was good, though, wasn't it?" he smoothed her hair back from her face just to have the excuse to touch her.
"It was wonderful." she smiled, then kissed him. "You are wonderful."
It was Stannis' turn to scoff now. Sansa playfully smacked his chest.
"Hush, you. You are wonderful. You've been amazing with everything since Murphy was born. You handled all my mood swings perfectly. You've been a great daddy to Murphy. And you've been so patient and respectful while I struggled with being ready for sex."
"That's as it should be, Sansa." he informed her. "That is nothing extraordinary or above what a man should give his wife. It's simply what should be."
"Still," Sansa smiled. "I'm grateful. And I love you."
"As I love you." he kissed her once more, lingering a little so it would follow him into sleep. Sansa got out of bed shortly after to put back on her nursing bra and nightgown. It was uncomfortable for her to sleep without the support apparently.
Since she was dressed, Stannis pulled back on his pyjamas as well, closing the curtains as the sun started to rise so they could sleep for a few more hours before Murphy woke back up and they started their day with their run together.
Sansa rejoined him in bed a moment later, and Stannis wrapped his arm around her as she settled her head onto his shoulder.
Stannis smiled as he drifted off. This new life was something he had never expected he would have, or even want. He had no idea that a simple letter written to a complete stranger all those years ago would change the course of his life forever. The accident should have destroyed him. It should have taken away the only life he'd ever known and left him hanging in limbo not knowing what to do next. Instead, it had given him a life with Sansa.
Sometimes he would look at her, in all her youthful beauty and sweetness and question how someone like her could love someone like him. But he had his proof. And it was written in ink.