Chapter Text
She might be dreaming.
She really really hopes she isn’t.
Vi stares at Caitlyn as she whispers the words. Her heart is pounding louder than she’s ever felt it. Caitlyn is on her knee. She doesn’t ask so much as declares what she wants. With everything that she has she just says the words. Vi knows that is part of who she is. She’s used to getting what she wants with little more than a declaration. It’s both incredibly charming and frustrating. In equal measure sometimes. But now, now Vi has no idea what to think when Caitlyn kneels down and grasps her hand. They’ve had so many conversations where they have gotten right up to the line of those words. Where they have whispered promises to each other and spoken about the future. Their family, their house, their lives. Things that fill Vi with the kind of wild, burning hope that she hasn’t felt in so long. But the actual words? Those were for later. Much later, if she thought about the way Caitlyn winced and looked away when she said this was a good plan. That she could take this on. But Caitlyn is on one knee in front of her and the thing she’s asking for is Vi. Out of the corner of her eye, Vi can see Ekko standing there with his jaw on the ground. Her own head is spinning as she looks down at the woman she loves. The woman she’s building this life and family with. Vi reaches for the words. For something—anything to say. But all the air is out of her lungs as she stares at Caitlyn’s face.
“What?” She breathes, “why?”
Caitlyn doesn’t laugh when she asks. She smiles like the questions are a fair ones. Like she’s not kneeling holding Vi’s hand and looking up at her like she’s everything Caitlyn ever dreamed of. She can’t be. Caitlyn’s life has been something that Vi could never imagine being a part of. And yet out of the corner of her eye, the portrait of her younger self beams up towards a future she wanted to fight for. One where they had more. Vi imagined doing it like Vander. WIth her fists and her dreams and a few solid hits. That was how you did things. Vander told her it wasn’t, told her that she would lose so much if she did things that way. The other dreams she had hung unspoken in the back of his mind. He knew she wanted a family. The kind of family her Ma and Pa had built. One that had all her siblings, her dad and some new people too. Vi feels almost dizzy at the realization that dream is close. No, it’s here. She stares at Caitlyn and realizes it’s here. She’d do whatever she had to so Caitlyn could have the time she needed—or as much time as she could get her. And Caitlyn, Caitlyn wants her to marry her. The words pound into the back of Vi’s head. She wants her to marry her. She knows the world has gotten blurry and the doc is going to kill her if she starts crying again, but she can’t help it. Especially not when Caitlyn straightens up and cups her cheeks in both her hands.
“Because I love you,” Caitlyn declares, cutting right to the truth in that way of hers, “and if you have to meet the rest of our family like this, I want you to know they’re your family too,” Caitlyn presses their foreheads together, “if you say yes.”
“Was that even a question?” Vi asks, her voice choked with emotion.
“Does it need to be?”
Vi shakes her head, their foreheads knocking together. A rough laugh leaves her lips before she can stop it. Caitlyn is usually right about a lot of things. Most things. But Vi thought she had them being able to be apart in the bag. It’d be hard but possible. And yet somehow the idea of stepping away from Caitlyn by even a millimeter seems unfathomable. She can feel the questioning look Caitlyn is giving her and she cannot help the laugh that slips from her lips again as one of her hands cups Caitlyn’s cheek.
“You were right, I don’t know how I’m going to do weeks without you,” she admits, “you got me there, Cupcake.”
Caitlyn laughs wetly in return, turning her face against Vi’s palm. Vi tries the nickname for levity but her voice is too full of emotion for it to sound like anything light. It’s not its usual test of where they stand. She cannot gauge Caitlyn’s reaction from it like she usually can. Not when their foreheads are pressed together and their hands are tangled with each others. Not when Caitlyn has just asked her to be her wife. The ache when Caitlyn winced as she said it has vanished, the warm feeling surging up now that she knows it was the ‘pretend’ part that upset her. The same part that upset Vi. Because Caitlyn wants her to be her wife too. Vi’s heart leaps at the reciprocation. Suddenly the tangle of fingers and press of foreheads isn’t enough. When she drags Caitlyn closer, she goes eagerly. Vi kisses her as deeply as she can, pushing herself off her heels so the arm Caitlyn winds around her back won’t have to support her weight. She needs everything to focus on her healing so they can get through this duel and focus on what really matters. Vi feels Caitlyn’s breath hitch into the kiss and she pulls back, looking at her face.
“So that’s a yes?” Caitlyn asks and the warm feeling in Vi’s chest roars up as she looks at her.
“Yes,” Vi says, nodding so there’s no doubt even though Caitlyn’s arms are around her and they’re both breathing heavily, “that’s exactly what that is.”
The relieved, happy noise that escapes Caitlyn’s lips makes Vi pull her closer still. Caitlyn’s arms wrap around her, tucking her chin over Vi’s head. It’s an odd feeling to be held like this where everyone can see, but as soon as she thinks the thought it floats away. It doesn’t matter. For a moment nothing matters except the warmth of Caitlyn’s skin as she holds her. For a moment, Vi can just sink into the embrace and marvel at the fact that a few words can somehow shift her heart. It’s happened before, it’s happened recently, but none of it has felt quite so much like a key being slipped into a lock. The pins just lining up and twisting open without any thought of resisting. It’s so much easier than she every could have dreamed. And for a long moment Vi is just content to let herself be held by the woman she loves. By the woman she wants to marry.
“Saying I wanted to be your wife was always going to be the easiest part of this,” Vi murmurs and Caitlyn holds her tighter, pressing her face into her hair.
“Waiting to ask you would have been the hardest,” she confesses. Vi tightens her fingers in her shirt. She pulls back when the desire to see Caitlyn’s face overwhelms her, “I know it’s soon—“
“I don’t care,” Vi cuts in, “after all the shit you said in our room—“ Caitlyn’s face tuns pink, “I’d be counting the days until one of us asked.”
Caitlyn shakes her head but only holds her closer, if that’s possible. Until Vi breaks and pulls her towards her for another kiss. She’s not sure she’s ever smiled this much while kissing someone. She’s never wanted to kiss someone this much in her entire life. All that responsiveness and it is always there. It was from the first desperate press of their lips in that sewer. They’re deeper in the earth now. It should feel—Vi doesn’t care what it should feel like. She doesn’t care about anything except the press of their mouths and the way Caitlyn’s fingers slide through her hair. This is all she needs in the world. All she wants in the world. Right here, in her arms, asking her to belong in a way that Vi would never have allowed herself to admit to wanting. But that’s what Caitlyn does. She sees the want, she sees the desire and she pulls it out. She teases apart the knots until the words slip out of Vi’s lips. That prayer she inked onto her back has been answered.
It takes her a moment to register the lighter blue out of the corner of her eye.
Jinx looks upset, but it’s upset in a way that is so achingly familiar Vi feels like she may have taken a step back in time. WIth her shorter hair Jinx’s face is so much more on display. She’s not the girl that Vi left behind. But Vi isn’t the girl who was taken to Stillwater. None of them are who they used to be. The part of her that has been searching for Powder is still knotted, but it’s loosening. For the first time she feels almost hopeful at the idea that at the end of this, it can be undone. She can learn who her sister is without either of them falling apart. And if she falls apart, she knows Cait has her back. But as she looks over Jinx’s shoulder, she can see she’s not the only one with someone to catch her. The thought makes her heart beat faster as the thought settles in her head.
“So you’re doing it?” Jinx questions.
“Yes but—“
“We’re doing it for real,” Vi says.
Jinx’s eyebrows shoot up and Ekko glances between them. The nerves are still there but there’s a warm feeling in Vi’s chest as they trade a look. They’re all so different than the last time they came close to doing something like this. They were kids when she’d said she wanted to date someone, but the look of disgust on their faces was comical. Powder’s jealous had been curbed by Ekko’s disgust at the idea of them making out and they had taken off down the street shouting that Vi had a girlfriend while Vi went bright red in embarrassment. She opens her mouth when Caitlyn grips her hand. Listen. She’s gotta listen. As hard as it is. Vi takes a breath and closes her mouth, looking at Jinx. Emotions fly across her face as she takes in the information. It’s hard to breathe as she glares down at the wood between her toes. Vi looks at Ekko who gives the slightest shake of his head, focusing on her as well. Vi feels something in her chest tighten as she watches Jinx consider things.
“Why?”
The way she says it makes Vi’s stomach knot. She sounds so—small. Smaller than she has the entire time she’s been out of Stillwater. It seems to surprise even Ekko as they look at her. Jinx doesn’t notice as her eyes keep going between Vi and Caitlyn, but they keep lingering on Vi. She looks more confused than anything. Vi doesn’t know how to explain it in a way that Jinx will understand. She barely understands herself. She thinks of laying in bed with Caitlyn and the words she said. How Vi made her feel like failing was okay. Then she looks at the way Jinx’s eyes have gone hard. She hears Milo’s voice echoing about how she kept messing things up. How the plan Jinx thought of was the one that they concocted so Milo would stop being mean to her. So she would stop failing. They’ve pulled apart that night so many times but the thing that keeps sticking out to Vi is the horrified confusion on Jinx’s face. That look starts to creep in now. She catches the edges of it. For a moment she wonders if her voice is going to make it worse. But she sees Ekko watching Jinx and she has to trust that he’s going to stop her if it does.
‘Because we love each other,” she says.
“You two jut got together again,” Jinx points out, gnawing on her lower lip before displeasure crosses her face, “this is fast."
Vi nods but then stops herself and considers Jinx’s words. Is it fast? What else does she need to learn about Caitlyn to know she wants to marry her? That she wants to build a life with her? Out of the corner of her eye she sees Caitlyn’s fingers tighten slightly on the balcony but she stands there resolutely. She knows Vi and Jinx are a packaged deal. That Jinx will be part of her family if she brings Vi into it. Vi always knew if she one day did somehow get married, that it would be hard for Jinx. It was always terrifying to think of it in so many ways. But with Caitlyn, she knows everything already. And she’s still—she still wants to do this. She wants to do it so badly it almost aches in her chest. Vi swallows the lump in her throat as she looks back at Jinx who rolls her eyes at her emotions. But it’s one of the new times where Vi doesn’t feel a peel of panic about what she’s going to do next. Not even when her eyes swing over to Caitlyn.
“I don’t know how they do things in Piltover, but here you’re supposed to ask for our blessing,” Jinx says folding her arms.
Vi cringes. Blessing, permission, it’s one of the things that’s always kind of irked her about marriage. Someone would come and ask to take her away one day like she was being kidnapped. Like she was losing her family to become part of another. It used to make her stomach knot, even though now she knows what actually being kidnapped and taken away feels like. Even before she remembers people ruffling her hair and joking about what her husband or wife might like. It’s an old scabbed wound, one that hasn’t mattered in years. One she wasn’t sure ever would. For so long her entire appearance has been factored around survival. The bigger she was, the harder she could hit. The slimmer she was, the less she looked like herself. How she looks now, some combination of all of it, it might be the first time she hasn’t just thought about survival and necessity. And even then it wasn’t like Caitlyn was the driver of anything. Well, not the primary driver. Though the soft look when her hair went back to pink told Vi everything she needed to hear. She glances over, surprised as Caitlyn dips her head, squeezes her hand and then looks at Jinx and Ekko.
“May I have your blessings?” Caitlyn asks
They all turn towards her. If Caitlyn feels anything about the request, it doesn’t show on her face as she looks at them. The buzzing in her head and thumping of her heart is back as Vi watches her stand there. She’s already nodding when she realizes that Jinx and Ekko have turned in on each other and are actually having some kind of discussion. Even though this is definitely her choice and if they should be asking anyone, it would be dad. But they begin to whisper furiously like there’s actually a debate going on. Caitlyn watches them and quirks up an eyebrow. The rush of affection is back as their eyes meet. Vi opens her mouth to tell them to stop but Caitlyn quickly shakes her head. Vi sighs and walks over, leaning against the rail with her.
“So how do Pilties do this?” She asks, “who do I ask for their blessing? Your dad?"
Caitlyn looks at her in surprise before going pink cheeked and dipping her head. The warm feeling is back in Vi’s chest. She knows this wasn’t Caitlyn’s dream. That Caitlyn thought when she did this it would be for her family and it was very firmly in the list of things that she was dreading. Vi knows Mr. Kiramman trusts her at least a little, even if he doesn’t like her all that much. But if Caitlyn wants her to ask him she will. Though she knows the person she should be asking is gone. The guilt for her relief that Caitlyn survived is still there, but it’s been dulled by the knowledge Caitlyn felt the same way. It’s hard to feel guilty like that when you know the person you love felt it too.
“I suppose it would be me,” she says finally, “since I’m the head of the family—or I will be.”
Their eyes meet and the familiar pain aches in Caitlyn’s eyes. The familiar fear. VI can practically hear the gears working in her head about all the things she needs to do. All the things she needs to learn. Vi’s known for weeks she would help if Caitlyn let her. But now, now that’s taken on a new meaning. From what Jinx said there was so much Mr. Kiramman didn’t do in his grief. Something that’s always been bitter to Vi, but now it takes on a whole new meaning. Caitlyn never should have carried any of this alone. Vi slides her fingers through Caitlyn’s, drawing her attention back to her. Even half lost in the weight of her responsibilities, Caitlyn is wonderfully responsive. Impossibly sensitive. It makes Vi ache to think what that hand to hand training with Ambessa’s brutality must have actually been like for her. Caitlyn’s eyes drag over towards her and offer a puzzled look. Vi tries to smother her grin.
“Can I have your blessing to marry you?” She asks.
A wide smile cracks across Caitlyn’s face and sends a shiver of delight through Vi. Not just because Caitlyn’s smile will always make her feel that way, but because she realizes this might be one of the first things Caitlyn has done as the head of her House. Or the head that she will be one day. If this plan works. Caitlyn goes pink in the cheeks and dips her head as though she’s considering it. Her face takes on some approximation of that mask she wore when they first met as she considers her.
“Well I suppose since you said yes—“ she starts and Vi cannot help herself as she ducks her head and pushes up to kiss her. Caitlyn smiles into the kiss and VI has to pull away to grin happily, “yes.”
A sigh makes them turn towards Ekko and Jinx. Ekko fidgets slightly and Jinx shifts her weight before folding her arms and looking at Caitlyn. Vi half expects her to say no. When Jinx’s eyes dart over to her she gives her a pleading look. She wishes that it didn’t suddenly feel important for Jinx to say yes. But it does. Even though her saying no won’t change anything, the desire itches through Vi’s skin. Jinx rolls her eyes and looks at Caitlyn.
“Alright you can have it,” she says and Vi feels almost weak in her knees, “but we have a condition.”
“What is it?”
“You get a room here, we get a room up there,” she says. Ekko clears his throat, “We tag team the room,” Jinx hisses back at him.
“She wants—“ Ekko starts, Jinx coughs, “we would like to be able to visit.”
“Oh,” Caitlyn seems surprised, “of course,” she glances at Vi who shakes her head, “I had assumed you would.”
“Well—good!” Jinx says crossing her arms, “I might! And I don’t want to go to a hotel and have to be buzzed through the gate every time I want to visit Vi.”
Vi bites the inside of her cheek to not say that Jinx would not go through the gate. She can see her trying, even as she looks upset. Even just the shift in plans would be hard for her to take, let alone the notion that Vi is actually getting married. The only person who had been more upset at the prospect of Vi leaving the family than Vi was Powder. She can see the look on Jinx’s face as she stands there. But it makes more sense on Jinx’s face somehow. Her first instinct is not to look for Powder on her features. Her sister doesn’t like the idea of losing her. There’s a weird ache in Vi’s chest when she realizes that she doesn’t like the idea of losing Jinx either. Even though she knows that—and she knows that’s not what is going to happen. Caitlyn squeezes her hand and goes to pull hers away but Vi grips it tightly. They are going to do this, she realizes. They are going to actually be a family and that means they help each other. Like Jinx and Caitlyn are trying to do with each other. Caitlyn looks at her and Vi gives her a pleading look, hoping she’ll hear what Jinx is saying. Even though she knows it’s going to be a process. Even with their time apart they had years to learn how to hear one another. VI still isn’t hearing Jinx as much as she wishes, but she knows that thanks to Caitlyn. Caitlyn watches her for a moment and then looks at Jinx. Jinx stares at her toes, her arms wrapped around her middle.
“You won’t have to buzz—“ she starts slowly.
“I’ll stay out of your room,” Jinx blurts out, “but we could go to the kitchen right?”
Vi sees Caitlyn soften as the words hit her and Vi isn’t sure she’s ever been in love with someone more when Caitlyn looks at Jinx. There’s still misgivings on her face, how the hell couldn’t there be? Vi knows there’s so much still lingering between her and Jinx—between all of them. But Caitlyn straightens anyway and pulls her hand from Vi’s. Vi lets her this time. But she positions herself between Caitlyn and the rail she was leaning on. She makes sure that her shoulder is close enough for Caitlyn to feel. It’s a position she was in before when they were on the strike team together. But now it feels different. It feels right to be standing next to her. It feels hopeful. Back then they told themselves they were making Zaun safer—and they did. But it wasn’t just about that. Some part of them knew it was about revenge even if they couldn’t admit it. But this—this feels different. There’s pain on Caitlyn’s face but she doesn’t try to hide it. And Vi feels quiet pride in her chest as she stands with her.
“Yes,” she says, “as my father—as all of us get more comfortable—“
“We’ll make it work,” Vi says. All of them look at her, “together.”
She means to say it with the same kind of authority she’s heard Caitlyn use, the same kind of confidence that she used to feel when she thought about her family. But she knows better now. They all do. The uncertainty in her tone makes it sound more like a question than an answer. But maybe that’s what it is. Maybe it’s always been that. She can’t will everyone to work together, she can’t punch until it all becomes a uniform thing. Not here, not with the people she loves most in the world. Caitlyn nods first but it’s Jinx who surprises her again. She shifts her weight and glances at Ekko before focusing on her. Her violet eyes are still clear, not wide eyed. Vi has a feeling they have the same expression again, like Caitlyn pointed out. But then Jinx bobs her head, her eyes darting between them. Caitlyn’s fingers thread through Vi's again, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
“We will,” Caitlyn says.
Out of the corner of her eye she sees Jinx nod.
“Together,” Jinx says.