Chapter Text
Raven laid in bed, looking at the ceiling quietly. The visits from her boyfriend's family replayed in her mind. Almost like a fever dream.
They all seemed to have noticed something.
Like the slight shift in the wind direction or a change in the temperature.
Which really just led to one thing. Acceptance.
And so in the darkness, as sleep refused to take her, she thought of how she would talk to Damian when he returned. How to lay the truth down to the only man she had ever loved.
The man that made her dream.
And as she tried to sleep with closed eyes, all she could see was– the then, the now, and the what if's of the future.
She was so restless.
Sleep would finally claim her after what felt like hours of her struggling. But that didn't mean that she slept well. As she was stuck in her own sort of limbo.
When she woke up the next day she felt rather chilly. It was colder than usual. And her heart felt heavier than usual. She was left to wonder if this was truly different. She had been left by her own devices for far too long.
Silence had become a rather unpleasant company, and yet, she was most used to it.
Chilliness had become a form of warmth for her, or well, lack thereof.
And perhaps because she was used to it, getting up from bed was not as hard as anyone would think. This wouldn't be the first time she forced herself up. With bare feet, she walked out of the bedroom to be greeted by a gloomy Gotham day.
The cool tiles seeped into the bones on her feet and even that was comforting.
She absent-mindedly walked to the window and studied the gray skyline. She wondered if it would rain. She did not know how long she stood there as she waited for waterdrops to fall.
It never did.
Raven turned her back away from the gloomy sky and truly started her day. For the most part, she cleaned the apartment. It gave her something to do while not thinking of anything that could possibly agitate her. And she took her time cleaning the apartment, took a break to have lunch and continued cleaning after her meal.
Eventually, she ran out of nooks and crannies to try and tidy up. It was late into the day now and the weather had not changed one bit. Maybe it was because she was already in a certain mood but it felt like the earth was holding its breath and the sky was proof of it.
Rain Clouds that were gathering yet the rain had not fallen.
Raven wore a cozy sweater that was too big for her because it was her boyfriends. She gazed at the sky just waiting for the rain with a warm cup of tea.
She did not hear the click of the main entrance door as her back was to it. It didn't help that she was deeply lost in her own thoughts.
She did not hear the soft footsteps that came closer to her.
The gentle loving yet pained gaze of eyes that knew no other lover other than her.
Raven was startled when she felt a firm chest against her back and an arm wrapped around her waist. And a rough hand over her hands that was holding her mug, steadying her shaking fingers from spilling liquid all over.
"Damian…" She sighed realizing who it was, as the man buried his head onto her shoulder. He squeezed her and moaned in response to her calling his name.
They stayed like that and he embraced her with both his arms. She could feel how tired he was and for a split second she wondered if she had undone the spell she casted on herself to not feel others emotions.
The answer is, she did not.
Of course, he'd be tired, he had been extremely occupied for weeks. And every time he thought he could finally take a breather, he gets a call.
Raven brought the mug closer to her chest and studied the light brown liquid. She could feel his gentle breathing against her back. She would let him rest for now.
And she let him for a few minutes.
When she broke the silence she said, "Your family came to visit."
Damian stirred at her words, pulling his head up from her shoulder. "They did?" He asked hoarsely with a frown on his lips. It seemed like he was not aware of what his siblings were doing.
"They didn't bother you did they?" He added, taking a step back and letting her face him. He looked so worried, "They didn't do anything stupid right? I don't understand why they are bothering you–"
It seemed that how Dick reacted to Damian's request was not what Damian wanted. But she won't tell him what his brothers were doing in his stead just so that her beloved would not be further annoyed. It was already so clear that he was quite agitated by the revelation.
Raven smiled at him which made him pause. She cupped his face and caressed his cheek. "Let's not worry about that. You look tired, do you want to rest?"
The worry faded in his eyes but he shook his head firmly, "No, I'm not tired."
Silence ensued.
"How long have we been together?" She suddenly asked him.
Damian looked conflicted– pained, "Three years."
She smiled wider at him, her eyes crinkling up at the corners, "We've been doing great haven't we?"
The confusion was clear on his face, and she didn't want to further see the pain in those eyes, and so, she casted her gaze down at her tea.
For a brief second, she recalled how they were also in this similar situation days ago. Her tea had gotten cold then and it seemed that this cup would too. Her eyelashes fluttered as she frowned for a mere millisecond.
The tea was already cold.
Her eyes flickered to gaze outside quickly and she was shocked to see that it had become dark already. She couldn't possibly be standing there for hours… but the sky–
Raven sighed and turned around. She controlled her emotions. There were things that didn't seem to add up. And in all honesty, there were a lot of things that didn't add up for her. She just chose to ignore it for the longest time. She was aware but chose to ignore it.
"Raven." Damian called for her and she could hear the fear in his voice. Did he see how she reacted?
She closed her eyes and sighed again, setting the mug on the counter then turning around to face him. It didn't matter if she really dozed off again. She promised herself that she would come clean. And she will… tonight… as it seemed to have become night before she knew it.
Damian looked ashen. He was scared, she could see it.
She smiled and got closer to him, "We are alright, right?"
His eyes studied her face carefully, "We are." He replied and then was filled with fear as he breathed, "Aren't we?"
Damian looked like he was drowning.
He watched her nod her head slowly. It was clear that he was not convinced by her affirmation.
"I love you." She whispered.
"I love you too." He answered back just as quietly.
Raven felt like his eyes were telling her just what he was afraid of. Everything seemed to be pointing to a break up. Even she doesn't want this to end with a break up.
It was bittersweet.
Would he stop her if that was what she was going to do?
"Do you remember the first time we met?" She reached out for his hand and gently gazed at him, hoping it would ease his worries.
He chuckled as he squeezed her hand, "Of course, I was a prick."
Her lips curved at his description of himself. She brushed his cheek with her other thumb, "And look at who you've become."
"Less pricklier?" He gave a boyish smile that made her giggle. He took both her hands into his.
"I didn't know you were aware of how much of a cactus you were." A teasing tone that made him smile wider while he rubbed circles on both her hands, calming his nerves down.
"Beloved, is everything okay?" He quietly asked her and her eyes studied his shaking fingers against her pale hands.
Is everything okay?
Raven sighed aloud.
The question she did her best to avoid.
She looked up at him.
The man she hoped she never had to answer that question to.
Tears had gathered in her eyes.
Raven could see the devastation on his face. She watched his lips open and she pulled away from his hold, leaving him speechless.
"I love you," She smiled tightly and he pressed his lips. He was clearly holding back and she was thankful that he was. "Like you have no idea." She stressed the words, her eyes looked at him in a pitiful manner.
Damian could not decipher what it meant.
"I love you too." He firmly replied, taking a step forward to which she took a step back.
Which left Damian frozen on his new spot.
Raven promptly turned around and from where he stood he saw her wipe her tears even when her back was facing him.
"I love you so much." Her voice had cracked and she turned to face him with a smile trying to hold back the tears.
A broken smile, "But I'm not happy." She shook her head and the tears continued to fall to which she tried to wipe away instantly.
She didn't look at him, "It's not because of you, because Azar knows how much I love you and how much you are trying–" Her gaze landed on him again. The tears in his eyes pained her. "I tried. I wanted this work, I wanted myself to be okay. Because I love you so much and I know you deserve nothing but the best."
The tears continued to fall and she inhaled shakily, "But I'm not happy," Raven hesitated and closed her eyes for a second looking defeated.
He looked hurt and confused, "Not with you– never with you. But me. I'm not happy…I haven't been since Trigon was defeated…"
Damian took a step forward and saw her flinching which made him stay put, "It wasn't your fault. Trigon suddenly went mad."
There was silence as he studied her pained expression that was casted to the floor.
She opened her eyes and looked him straight in the eye, the tears falling down her cheeks and onto the floor, "I know what I said." She quietly whispered.
She breathed in and licked her lips, "And yet, when he disappeared, it was…" She licked her lips again. "So… so… terribly quiet." The silent tears fell as she fluttered her eyelids. "It was so weird."
Raven looked vacant and it looked like Damian wanted to comfort her.
She blinked and the haze in her eyes faded as she looked at him with love and a gentle smile, "I love you. I always will. But when I defeated Trigon– it was lonely. I actually started wishing that he was still here." Her fingers touched the center of her forehead. The absence of the red stone that was always there felt wrong at that moment. "I wish… he was still here… Tormenting me. Telling me he would take everything that I love away from me." Her eyes locked onto his water filled green eyes.
It was like watching the forest get flooded.
She pressed her lips together. "Then, I started hearing his voice. You have no idea how happy I was to hear that awful– awful voice, threatening me. But I knew it was impossible. I defeated him. And then I found myself stuck in a pattern. Because when he was finally gone I was left with silence and time I didn't know what to do with."
Raven's tears stopped falling but it didn't mean that they stopped gathering in her eyes.
She smiled faintly, "I love you." She said again. "And I always will and I wanted to make it work. Make everything okay. But it isn't and it's because I'm not."
"He forced your hand." Damian whispered. But the look of defeat on his face and entire body was screaming at her.
The water fell from her eyes again.
She stared at him, who was also silently crying now. She recognized his thinking face. It seemed that he was piecing together the bigger picture. His mind was always fast to process information. She could almost see the cogs in his brain move to understand what she had just told him.
"I killed him." She whispered and Damian looked hurt.
That was almost two years ago.
Damian had woken up to an empty bed. He knows he did not sleep alone. His hand searched for his partner. He was confused when his hands met cold sheets. He instantly sat up. It was clear that he was worried.
His eyes searched for the familiar figure of the woman he loved since he was a teen.
She was nowhere to be found.
Damian had searched the entire Watchtower for her.
He returned to their bedroom even more confused than when he left. He sat on his side of the bed with furrowed brows. Hands on either side of his bed.
Did Raven tell him that she was going somewhere and he had just not recalled it?
The air shifted. And he knew best what that meant. He looked up with wide eyes as a portal he knew very well appeared before him.
And Raven stepped out of it. He saw the expression on her face and he was instantly up. Her shaking legs gave in as she fell into his arms.
"Damian…" Her voice cracked and he held her tightly.
He did not know what the fuck was going on. But that didn't matter. Raven wasn't someone who'd break down in tears like this so suddenly.
She sobbed and sobbed and he let her. In time, she would tell him.
It was the kind of trust the two had built. No matter what, they could rely on one another. At times it would take a while to know the answer but they shared everything with each other and that was a fact.
Eventually, Raven calmed and he cupped her face as he wiped the tear stain on her left cheek. He looked down at her gently.
"Beloved, what's wrong?" He asked, forgetting completely that she had disappeared on him.
Tears welled up in her eyes. "I killed him."
He pressed his lips as he waited patiently for her to elaborate.
"Trigon is defeated." She quietly said a tear slipping down her eye.
~.~.~.~.~.~
"What?" Superman said when hearing Raven's confession. Currently they were in an interrogation room with Wonder Woman. Raven at one side of the metal table and on the other were the two superheroes.
Batman stood beside his son outside of the interrogation room, peering through the one way mirror. The two being observers.
"You must understand that this is protocol, son." The older man said quietly.
Damian did not look pleased and pressed his lips quietly, "I know, Father. Raven knows it too."
"Trigon… he-he suddenly just– he went erratic." Raven said, shaking as she hugged herself.
Damian clenched his fists watching her through the glass.
"I know you want to be right there beside her– but–" Batman placed a hand on his son's shoulder.
With gritted teeth, Damian cut his father off, "I know."
"Where have you been?" They had asked Raven.
"I…Trigon is defeated." She replied, she looked defeated and exhausted.
"I killed him." Raven's voice was thin as she confessed for the nth time.
~.~.~.~.~
"You had no choice. He forced your hand." He reminded her. The words that were agreed upon by the investigation.
The investigation was necessary as Trigon was not just anyone. Though, each mission they did had their own file. That situation was no exception. Raven had to undergo a debriefing. There is a file about her final battle with Trigon.
"I know what I said." Raven faintly replied with closed eyes. "And yet…" She tried to smile at him but there was more pain in that smile than anything, "It doesn't change what I had been feeling since he was gone and everything that has changed because of it."
With Raven's confession, it seemed like Damian was truly understanding her since she had returned that day. Like he was finally free of the fog and seeing her properly.
He approached her and reached out for her face. He opened his lips to say something, when his smartwatch glowed in the dark.
Both their eyes glanced at the screen.
Jules.
Raven knew who was calling. It was the Justice League. His code name for them.
And in that moment, Raven reeled in all the tears, the pain and grief. She simply blinked them away. As if it was never there to begin with.
Damian immediately rejected the call. And once he glanced up, he was met with his lover's indifference. He would have been convinced that they did not have a painful conversation with how she looked now. But the tear stains that she was now wiping away with her hands was proof that they in fact did have that conversation.
She in fact was baring herself naked to him, so to speak.
"Beloved-" Damian fell silent seeing her shake her head. He looked conflicted as he stared at her. He shook his head a little and then quickly turned around and removed his watch. He also took his phone out of his pocket and placed it on the table with the screen facing up.
He looked at her seriously as she pressed her lips.
It seemed that he had made his decision, "I'm glad you are talking to me about this." He spoke sincerely. The tears in his eyes were gone as he too calmed himself to match his girlfriend's mood.
"I shouldn't be saying this now. You are on a very important mission." She softly told him.
His brows were etched together again and before he could say anything she added, "You should go. The Justice League is looking for you."
Damian shook his head, "No. I want to stay here." He approached her and cupped her face.
It brought tears to her eyes and seeing her like that brought tears to his eyes.
"I–"
His phone vibrated on the table, the screen glowed, illuminating the dark room. The vibrations from his phone echoes throughout the walls.
They were silent for a second and then continued on with the vibrations coming from his phone, "I want to be here with you."
Raven blinked at him, as if trying to find words, "It's… the team, isn't it?"
He flinched at her words. He didn't want to lie to her.
He sighed, "Yes."
The call stopped as if to emphasize their situation. The silence was deafening.
Then just as Damian opened his mouth, his phone rang again. He looked annoyed, he quickly turned around and turned his damn phone off.
"You should go." He heard Raven tell him and his hand flinched.
He turned around to look at her and it was clear that he was hurt by her suggestion.
Tears welled up his eyes again, "Please don't."
She looked at him pleadingly, he watched her lips part.
"Please- please don't." He begged her, cutting her off before she said words that he did not want to hear. The tears had silently fallen down his cheeks.
She simply smiled at him, willing all the strength she could muster for both of them, "You have to."
There was another moment of silence.
Damian looked defeated before her, even more so than when they would get beaten up on a mission by their enemies and wondered if it would be their end. He sighed with closed eyes and clenched fist.
"No. I don't want to leave you." He firmly told her.
"You know you have to." A simple reply.
"Please. No." He inhaled sharply. "I want to be here with you."
Raven approached him and cupped his face with one hand and rubbed his chest where his heart was. A soothing gesture perhaps even laced with deceit.
She eagerly studied his face, brushing off some tears, "You have to go. You are an integral team member, not just for the Titans but to every group you are a part of. You always have a role for each specific group. If you don't show up everything you've all planned for would be ruined."
Damian looked even more defeated than a moment before, his head down and his back slumped. He was unmoving.
"You have to go." She urged him again.
With a broken tone, he replied with "I don't want to…"
"Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to– because it's for the best." She was gentle with her delivery but it could not hide the fact that she was persuading him.
Damian looked like he could not find his strength. As if he was going to fall, because for a man like him, who was clearly fit, his legs felt like jelly.
Another moment of silence again.
Then there were incessant knocking on the door, rushed and in a hurry. Urgent.
It was clearly urgent.
A male voice called for Raven's beloved, "Damian, it's an emergency."
Damian collected himself at that moment, he found strength again through his weakened legs. He was pulled out from his confusion. And yet, he still glanced at Raven with pleading eyes while shaking his head.
Begging. Silently begging. He really didn't want to leave.
Her lips mouthed to him, 'You know you have to.' She briefly closed her eyes and with a clear voice told the person on the other side, "He'll meet you there."
He squeezed his eyes and inhaled deeply then exhaled. When he opened his eyes again to look at her, he was no longer distraught. He held his head up high, mirroring his lover.
"I will meet you there." He loudly told his teammate.
She slipped her hand on his. The way they gazed at each other clearly showed how sad they truly were.
"I don't want to go." He told her again.
"I know. But you have to." She replied, studying the color of his eyes.
Raven took a step back, pulling away from him first. And again, she put on a poker face.
Damian pressed his lips but did not say anything. He turned around and collected his phone and watch. Turning his phone on and as he waited for it to boot up. In that moment, he looked up, staring at the walls of their apartment, the furniture and maybe memories of them.
His attention was brought back to his phone with all the notifications that popped up. Missed calls and messages for him to report back to homebase.
He turned his head to the side, "Do you remember that place I talked to you about?"
Raven looked confused and he added, "When I climbed up the Alps when I was thirteen to help me clear my mind?"
Her expression relaxed, she remembered.
He turned to face her completely. "The Monastery." He said putting his phone inside his pocket as he approached her, "If you need space and a place to think, I am sure they will welcome you as they did me. The monks helped me out a lot. If you need me to tell them of your arrival I can send a word out for you."
Raven's eyes were starting to water again as she nodded and tried to look strong. She was touched by the effort he was putting in for her. Giving her a solution to the problem that had been plaguing her.
"I will think about it." She replied carefully.
He nodded at her response and turned around again to grab his watch and was about to put it on.
Raven broke the silence as she walked to him. "Please. Please, be safe." She said, placing a hand on his watch that was resting on his wrist but yet to be strapped.
He watched her fasten it back on his wrist as he replied glancing at her, "Always."
With his free hand he brushed the corner of one of her eyes. "I love you."
She smiled then closed her eyes as if soaking herself with his words and the affection behind them.
"I love you." She responded.
When she came to, Damian was gone and she was still on the same spot when he left. She was confused to say the least. She found herself hyperventilating the next second. The room felt too small. Too cold.
Why was she like this?
The conversation she had with Damian replayed in her mind. It made it even harder to breathe. She suddenly burst into tears as she squatted on the floor crying. The palms of her shaking pale hands covered her eyes as she sobbed.
Her fingertips glowing that faint violet hue as she wept alone.
"I love you. Like you have no idea." She whispered. Unsure if she responded to his profession of love for her.
Then it was the next day. She still felt confused. And even more lost than she was used to. The conversation from yesterday was plaguing her.
And the question: What will he say when he returns?
It was a scary thought. It would leave her shaking. She quickly found that she did not want to know.
But that shouldn't be the case.
How was it the next day already?
Damian and her were lovers. But why was it so hard to tell him the truth? Why did she hold on to such pain and kept it to herself?
She knew the answer.
She bit her lip.
And it started again.
Raven…
She turned abruptly behind her. Fear in her eyes.
Raven…
It was happening again.
No one was there but she knew that voice well. It was mocking her by calling her name as if he was singing.
Raven… You told him the truth? Wasn't he so disappointed when he found out?
"Stop." She whispered.
But I'm proud of you.
Raven blinked and her eyes glowed that familiar hue that has been uncontrollable for years. As she brought her shaking hands and rested her index finger on the space between eyebrows, her fingers glowing too.
"Shut up. I killed you." It was clear that tears would follow with how strained her voice was.
Do you think he'll accept you now that he knows?
"Shut up!" She screamed and just when she was going to use her magic, she recalled that Trigon had been long defeated and that all this was in her head. She also had to control herself because she did not want to hurt the innocent people inside the building.
Raven heaved in a deep breath and then exhaled.
She closed her eyes and she started to float. She crossed her legs and meditated.
Suddenly, it was the next day again. Another confusing day. She wasn't sure if she ate the day before– actually even the day before that.
Raven was flooded with the desire to be anywhere but here. Here, her apartment– no… the apartment she shared with her boyfriend. And she hated that she wished she was elsewhere. Far from here.
Would things be better if she was somewhere else?
That is how she found herself going out on that day. She didn't want to stay inside only to be haunted by a voice that she can't shake off. But the thing was, the moment she entered the cold apartment she'd be distraught all over again.
She knew she had to be strong. At the very least until Damian returned to her. Once her mind was reminded of her boyfriend she'd be flooded with worry.
Was he safe? Was her team safe? Since Jon didn't seem to reach out to her– and Damian's family wasn't also, it meant that everyone was away and busy.
Likely even off-planet. The world annihilation threat that seemed to be looming over everyone. That had to be what was keeping everyone busy right now.
And in her worries where she wondered about her boyfriend. She'd forget the voice that haunted her. In some way, it brought her peace of mind.
As long as the protective spell on her boyfriend, former teammates and friends was not broken then it meant that they were safe. That thought made her feel even better.
It became a cycle with her.
When she was in the apartment her mind would wander and it became a struggle to control herself and her magic. She'd choose to go out and it would make her feel better for the time being. But the moment she would return everything that was weighing her down would start suffocating her all over again.
And this was what kept happening day in and day out. She tried to keep her resolve that her boyfriend would come bursting through the doors and he'd comfort her. And once reunited, she would be safe in his arms as they deal with her situation together.
And yet, at the same time, she knew for the longest time that she should be the one dealing with her problem herself.
No matter. Any moment now, he would arrive. She held onto that thought.
And yet, a week had passed and she had not even gotten a word from him or from anyone for that matter.
The resolve she had, to wait for her beloved, was now on its final thread.
Raven stood a few steps away from the main entrance door. She had entered her apartment with great desperation, hoping, pleading to Azar and whoever was listening for her love to be back and to welcome her.
The tears had gathered in her eyes and as the shaky hands opened the door as she prayed he'd be there– she was met with the same thing for the past week.
Emptiness.
Coldness.
Absence.
The door closed. And the teardrops fall down her cheeks.
The truth was, this was what had enveloped her for years now.
She stood there resigned. Allowing the tears to fall with every flutter of her eyelids.
She pressed her lips and closed her eyes.
She wished so badly that he would be here this time around. Because her weary heart could take no more.
When she opened her eyes, there was longing as she glanced at the space before her. A distant look. Then a faint smile.
She closed her eyes again and sobbed, covering her mouth. It was just for a second. The next moment she glanced up, holding back the tears as she held her chin high.
Raven sprinted to the bedroom in a manner that made her look like she was drunk. The moment she stepped into the room, she inhaled a sob as she made her way to their closet. Her gaze was down on the floor and spotted Damian's black duffle bag.
She grabbed it and stood there for another second as she let the tears fall. She then started putting things inside with urgency. She grabbed a few of her shirts and a few of his. She took one of his jackets. She grabbed all her important jewelry and everything he gave her. She opened his sketchbook and ripped a few pages out of it.
She turned around and rushed to the vanity and she took his cologne. When she held the bottle in her hands, she couldn't help but break down a little as she cradled the item against her chest.
His signature scent.
For a moment, she even felt like he was in the room with her. As if she could smell him there with him. She recalled how she would tease him, how she knew he was around before he entered the room because of his cologne. He would swear he didn't put that much on.
She packed everything and looked at the bedroom one last time. With pressed lips she turned around to walk back to the living room. She studied the open floor plan again. Her eyes landed on the pictures of them. She walked to them and grabbed one frame with her and him, smiling happily.
She stared at the picture as teardrops fell onto the glass. She wiped the glass and placed it in the bag.
Raven was clearly in pain.
She walked to the counter. She grabbed a paper and pen from a drawer and wrote something on the cream paper as best as she could with all the tears in her eyes.
When she was done she folded the paper with a sigh. Tears were still falling down her face.
She pulled her phone out, the earrings he gave her that were also a tracker and the keys to the apartment. She placed them all on the counter and patted the counter, the reluctance on her face.
She glanced at the entrance door hoping that maybe he would burst in just about now and stop her. And maybe she waited a bit longer than she should.
The reality was. He never came.
He never did.
Raven closed her eyes. Her heart felt like it was being gripped by a phantom hand.
She walked to the center of the room, still staring at the door, still hoping. Her hand gripped the black bag.
It was time.
This was how the story was going to end.
How their story would end.
She was delaying herself for no reason. She knew what had to be done.
She wished it wasn't like this. She wished he'd open the door right now.
She pressed her lips and turned around. Just one more time. She wanted to take in the apartment one more time.
The sun was setting. The whole room was filled with the orange hue of a setting sun. It looked warm. There should be warmth.
But there was no warmth in this apartment.
There was no warmth when he wasn't with her.
And she had become so used to the freezing cold that it has numbed her.
Raven closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.
It was time.
With her free hand resting at the side of her thigh and fingers facing the entrance door, with just a small wiggle of her finger, a purple portal opened behind her.
A setting sun, maybe to symbolize the end of their relationship. Because this was what she chose.
She chose to run.
She took a step back, eyes locked at the scenery behind that glass wall.
She recalled the day they went to check on this apartment. His excitement. Hers.
She turned around abruptly and stepped into the portal.
This was her choice.
To the question that she was scared to know the answer of, What will he say when he returns?
~.~.~.~.~
In another space– another planet where there was nothing but ruins, a violet portal opened. And out from the portal came Raven in her old Titan's uniform.
Her long cape fluttered a little. The hood off her head.
She looked lost and defeated. She spotted a fallen down white pillar right in front of her. The portal closed as she tossed her bag by the pillar and with shaking legs she sat on the cold topple down marble.
Azarath. The planet she put to ruin.
The tears in her eyes started to fall. All the emotions that she had bottled up. It was all clogged up at her chest and throat. The weight of everything.
Raven screamed.
She screamed all her frustration. All her pain. And as she did a burst of violet energy came out of her and it pulsated throughout.
She sobbed. She wanted to go back. She just wanted him. But she also knew she wasn't well.
Something was wrong with her.
Raven unexpectedly inhaled deeply. Ceasing all the sobbing and griefing. There was a shift in the air and she could sense it. She turned her head as she glared behind her. She was on high alert, ready to attack the intruder.
A light blue portal opened.
"I've been looking for you." A voice said.
~.~.~.~.~.~
Raven left just like that. But who would have known. If she had delayed for a few more minutes maybe they would have met.
How would he have known that no matter how much he rushed to get back to her, he wouldn't have been able to see her that day.
It could have been that the moment the portal fully disappeared, the door Raven hoped would suddenly open, finally did.
But she wouldn't have known that. And Damian wouldn't have known that he had missed her by a few minutes or worse– seconds. In the very least not definitely.
And maybe that was for the better.
The fact was Damian did rush back from the mission to return to their apartment would not change. It was a fact. Just as it is factual that Raven left.
It was also a fact that he had this bad feeling that he could not explain. And how he was so worried about his girlfriend that was going through something.
But he still was able to keep his head on the mission. Because he had to. He had to come back home, to her, safely. Therefore, the mission took precedence even though what he really wanted to do was be there with her.
He had waited patiently to be able to return to her. The image of him immediately holding her in his arms as he consoled her, fueled him during the mission.
But as he entered the apartment, the sun was at the last few minutes before it was fully eaten by the horizon, the bad feeling he had been secretly harboring twisted in his stomach.
Damian couldn't breathe.
His apartment felt eerily cold.
An absence of the woman he was used to seeing here–
His feet moved by itself. The worry and fear had him at a chokehold.
"Raven." He called with no response.
His breathing was heavy as he called for her name again, his eyes searching for her. When he couldn't see her there, he immediately rushed to their bedroom.
"Raven!" His green eyes quickly scanned the room.
He turned ashen.
He turned around and looked back into the room behind him. He was confused and looked forlorn. He recalled when she went to meet Jon, how she left a note at the counter. Maybe she was with her new friend.
He glanced at the counter. And his heart dropped. He took slow steps closer toward the counter and as he did, he noticed her phone, her earrings, the apartment keys and a folded note.
He studied the items. What did this mean?
But deep down he knew what it meant. After all, he was a smart man. Even so, he still hoped it wasn't the case.
He opened the note and his heart broke. He stood there longer than he really should. The note would finally slip from his fingers and onto the counter. He rushed into the bedroom again. His feet moved by itself toward the closet.
The first thing he noticed was his missing bag.
He exhaled the breath that he didn't know he was holding. And tears fell down his eyes as his head was casted down. With shaking hands he wiped his tears and pressed his lips.
Damian took inventory of what she took. Of course, with a heavy heart.
It was odd, the clothes she took were mostly his. Like his shirts that she loves to wear. His black bomber jacket. The drawing he made of her that took her breath away. Followed by the drawing she begged him to make of him. A drawing he made of them together. Her favorite pair of shoes that he always complimented whenever she wore them, well to be exact, the boots he without fail always made a remark about its redundancy to which she laughed. Every jewelry and gift he gave her. His cologne.
Then he went back to the living room, recalling and finding comfort that the things she took were things that reminded her of him.
The sun was long gone when he was done taking note of everything that was not there in the bedroom. Which unfortunately included her.
He stood before the pictures that they displayed in their apartment.
His hand rested on the spot of a missing picture frame.
He remembered that photograph.
He sighed aloud and glanced around the room.
She said she loved his smile in that photo. It was so charming. Those were the words she always told him.
The room was now painted blue. A sign that the sun was gone.
And in some way, it reflected Damian's situation quite well. He, of course, noticed the symbolism too. It was disgustingly painful.
He knew that his life won't ever be the same.
If Raven wanted to be followed, she would have told him where she was going. But she didn't. Instead she left him a note. The words engraved in his heart.
He wanted to look for her. His very being screamed for her. To find her, hunt her down and then– just hold her. But he controlled himself from doing so.
Regardless, he knew one thing to be true.
Damian would wait for Raven.
He would wait no matter how long it would take. Because he knows, she would surely return to him.
He walked to the center of the room, glancing at every item. Letting his mind wander.
He'd wait, that was for sure. Still, he can't help but wonder: Where did I go wrong?
He went back to the counter, to the note she left behind.
He unfolded the paper.
I love you.
He closed his eyes and sharply inhaled.
She could have written something else. She could have taken only her things. But the fact was, she left most of her clothes and took more of his belongings than hers.
She wrote: I love you. Not good-bye. Not sorry. Just, I love you.
Damian mentally went over the things she took with her as he traced her beautiful handwriting with his fingertips.
Maybe he was overthinking. But all these facts meant that she'd come back. Maybe she left days ago but that didn't matter. What matters are the facts.
He traced the water drops on the note. He knew it wasn't his tears.
She was crying. She was hurt.
He wished he could have held her in his arms.
And yet, she chose to write: I love you.
When he blinked he could see her writing on the counter from under his lids. A vivid image as if he himself witnessed her write that note.
Who knows maybe she left days ago.
Or maybe he missed her by only a few seconds.
Either way it didn't matter.
And…
Who knows maybe this isn't the end yet.
FIN.