Chapter Text
Rey opts to not tell anyone what happened.
Honestly though, it was nothing! All she did was transcend space and time, briefly inhabit Kylo Ren’s body, and now sometimes she can hear his thoughts and feel his emotions oh stars someone help .
Besides, her options are limited. Leia is one, but Rey can't figure out how to explain that she's swapping thought-spit with her son without simultaneously bursting into flames. Nope .
Poe would probably say that sticking herself in the crazy was not what he'd meant, while Finn would mutter something like ‘hey look who was right again, me .’ Hell no .
Chewbacca would offer to dislocate Kylo Ren’s arms, which actually would be great, so she shelves that idea for later.
The obvious answer is to go find Master Luke, but Rey worries that Kylo Ren will follow her to him - or so she tells herself, because in reality she just doesn't want to see him make his Disappointed in You face. It's devastating , and don't ask how she knows.
She's already accidentally married his disgruntled nephew - accidentally Force bonding with said nephew will probably count as her third strike. Ruefully she thinks she might as well tape a poster of Master Luke's frowning face to her wall so she can feel abashed full time and save him the extra wrinkles.
Maybe she really is cursed: most people would argue that being linked, legally and spiritually, to one of the most feared men in the galaxy would qualify as unlucky to say the least. Others might call it fate, but not to her face.
At first she'd hoped the increased awareness of him was a lingering side-effect of briefly being in his head, one that would fade.
If anything it's grown stronger.
She's managed to break some sort of barrier between them and can't fix it, and it seems like Kylo Ren doesn't want to fix it, either.
She can feel it when he decides to focus on her, right before he pushes a particular thought in her direction. The things he chooses to share are odd - the view from the bridge of a First Order ship, which overlooks a glittering star field. A fistful of ashes in a gloved hand. A cat's eyes peering out from a vent. The top-down angle he has of everyone's heads as he towers over them. Blood on his chin when he nicks one of his moles shaving.
They very rarely exchange words, although Rey can sometimes hear him speaking to someone else, low and garbled as though he's underwater. Every so often he'll sneer when she flubs a practice form and recall the way she turned down his offer to teach her, and she'll harrumph and think get lost right back . Once he even mockingly imitates her loud squeaky laugh while she is relaxing with Finn and Poe, and annoying as it is Rey gets the impression he’s in his version of a good mood.
He never tries to do anything dastardly like seduce her to the Dark side or steal sensitive information, which she's been waiting for. Mostly he just lurks in the back of her head and sends her the mental equivalent of holo-snaps, and once or twice she catches herself enjoying it. It's kinda...nice, to not feel alone.
He also has yet to request to meet up with her, and Rey half-hopes he's forgotten about that. The other half knows better, and wonders why he's saving it up like this.
There are moments when she’s privy to things she knows he didn't intend to share too. For all the stomping and posturing the guy does, Rey is beginning to understand that he's really ten percent human and ninety percent anxious wreck.
She knows now when he meets with the Supreme Leader, who she's been told is an alien called Snoke, because then he shuts her out entirely until he's too exhausted by whatever happens in their meetings to keep her away.
One night in particular his pain explodes behind her eyelids so powerfully that she cries out and sits up in bed, drenched in sweat, her hand flying to her face and feeling for what she's sure must be a broken nose. She's unharmed, but he clearly isn't.
The adrenaline pumping in her veins is hers though, and she's forced to admit there in the dark that she's more afraid for him than of him these days. Maybe it's stupid and naïve, but despite everything he's done she doesn't want him to die.
You are stupid and naïve , Kylo Ren whispers back, though it feels more resigned than biting.
She probes at their connection and feels his mind latch on to hers. His anger and agony bleed together and make her temples throb, and the desire to pull back is instinctual - he feels like touching metal that's been baking in the sun all day. He clings tighter at her retreat, almost desperate, and it occurs to her that he's asking for help the way she once did.
Rey has no clue what to say and there's not much she can do from her bed, far away from wherever he is, so instead she thinks as hard as she can of the first time she set foot in a florist's shop.
She remembers the dazzling array of colors and the itch of pollen in her nose when she pressed a cluster of white, sweet-smelling flowers to her face. She remembers buying them and a meal afterwards, an incredible luxury. She remembers putting them in a cup in her room and suddenly thinking of her abandoned shelter on Jakku, which in turn made her cry, but in a way that left her feeling refreshed afterwards. He sighs, and the pain grows fuzzy and distant until she realizes he's fallen asleep.
You're welcome , Rey huffs, and soon follows him into dreaming.
***
The next day she decides to tell someone.
“This isn't something I want a lot of people knowing about, so please…” Rey presses her index finger to her lips.
BB-8 beeps and rocks in place, a little too quick to comply, and she narrows her eyes.
“I'm serious. Not even Poe!”
The little droid is the picture of innocence as he chirps and bobbles his head, so she lets it drop.
“And I need another favor,” Rey adds. “What do you know about a group called the Dallo?”