Chapter Text
The next day, Chan's POV,
“Channie, baby...” Chan heard a curl of sound billowing out and slinking through his senses, not unlike the sound of his mother coaxing him to get up for school back in the days of yore. He'd been eleven that winter morning when the world was vast, and the sky tightened so much that the span between two continents was seemingly nonexistent. He was simply a child.
“It's time to get up, baby.” The soft lure pressed, and Chan knew from somewhere deep inside the sound was meant to alert him, whom that tenderly coddling voice grasped, but he didn't feel it, the urge to get up from where he was, snuggly tucked in a warm and secure bastion and sheltered from the frost of reality; like a baby in a cloaca, Chan squirmed. Chan's brows bumped into each other when he felt something quaking beside his shoulders, his stomach jolted into knots, and his subconscious gradually receded as the floodwater of consciousness drew nearer.
“Chan, we need...up.” Chan heard Hyunjin’s voice nearby, calling him and tempting him up along with soft-laid kisses on his forehead and near the corner of his mouth. He didn’t fight his awareness any longer even though the warmth of the soft duvet still laved at his body, Hyunjin’s caresses brought about an altogether different set of heat. Chan was awake now.
He found his cheek was inches burrowed in the pillow, his face hairsbreadth away from Hyunjin’s, and his nose was inhaling all that of him, his newfound lover and long-time dongsaeng. So, it was real? So, I didn't imagine being held by him.
“Hi,” Chan's tenor voice croaked with him feeling deeply rested after such a long time. He was awakened to his own bed, to pillows that smelled of mature seeds and a duvet crinkled by an act of genuine unison. It was real.
“Finally, you're up. The guys may barge in any time soon,” said Hyunjin whose smile was a blend of peak gentleness and strange mischief. A leg was tangled with his underneath the cream-coloured bundle, and Chan moved his feet that were loose through, unbridled by sheaths of clothing.
“You look like you're enjoying yourself. Why?” Chan's eyes rove away from the smooth hint of a smirk in Hyunjin's mouth to lock into his brown hickory eyes, feeling lost in the profundity. What am I supposed to do with him?
There was a subtle weight on his waist, Chan realized with a jiggle of his upper body, and he twisted in between Hyunjin's arms. Sometime during dusk, Hyunjin must have reversed their positions and surrounded him with his endless heat since Chan felt that he had hugged him around his chest, with Chan huddled against his back last night.
“What do you think?” Hyunjin's hair was still tousled, not unkempt for the handsome man, despite never being vain about his look was never sloppy. He just looked soft like this in his dishevelled bedhead on Chan's rumbled sheets, while Chan was sure he must resemble a hungover man every time he got up, all tangled knots and grumpy yawns.
“Having you in my arms is almost like a dream,” Hyunjin said, and Chan counted his breath so that the force of a sudden throb didn't leap out of his chest. His heart sped, and his throat burned. Silly Hyunjin. His voice is sometimes like a noose to my core.
“That's stupid,” Chan rasped, liking to cause a furore. He shifted without thinking, and his fingers twisted Hyunjin's chin nearer, flustering the younger man. Be it his Dom, Hyunjin was also one of his kids. He tucked their heads silently beside each other, cheek against cheek, and let the emotion that beat through his body speak for itself. Chan felt a soft coating of evening stubble strewn across Hyunjin's jawline and knew that his own rough one was grazing on the younger man's cheek. He rested his face even nearer against Hyunjin's skin, loving the scratch that came with grating on a lover's coarse side skin.
“Have you found what you are looking for?” Chan asked when the hugging hormones pumped through his veins, running streams to his heart. Chan looked up from under his lashes, watching Hyunjin and patiently waiting. Across from them, the bed lamp illuminated the space, and pinpricks dithered on the bedroom floor.
“Yeah,” Hyunjin spoke softly and breathed Chan in, sharply. Chan didn't question what Hyunjin had found, whether it was something that came from himself or whether it was something different entirely. Perhaps, Chan thought, Hyunjin wanted an opening. The rising sun outside had its free roam about his quarters, rays of daylight slipping through Chan's navy blue blinds.
“Hyung, what do you want to do about us?” Chan heard Hyunjin ask, and he leaned away from the other man's warmth. Licking his lips in thought, Chan flicked his gaze back and forth between Hyunjin's beauty mole and his eye. Would it look imprudent if Chan just went in for a chaste kiss?
“I think we might need to keep it down for a while until I can find the right time to let the guys know,” Chan said, knowing they wouldn’t be able to be discreet about this, this sudden blissful blindness that Chan developed within a day being with Hyunjin. And by the look of it, Hyunjin wasn’t faring much better than he did.
“I guess you’re right. Let’s do that.” Hyunjin shrugged and feebly smiled, his bottom lip concealed by a tuck at the corner. He craned his neck above Chan and stared at his face with a soft look until Chan huffed nervously under his pinning gaze. Hyunjin leaned down, arms outstretched on either side of Chan’s head, and kissed him; his kisses were gentle and pillowy, and Chan closed his eyes, tasting their wavering morning breath.
“We have about three hours to get ready for today's schedule,” Hyunjin said in a strangled voice, gathering back the air he lacked before he smushed a kiss on Chan's nose. Chan knew that the group would have a long afternoon filming for a holiday special, and Chan should have been up, getting calls done by now and scripts memorized with his group members; it took him a minute to silently hoist up to a sitting position, force his sated mind out of Hyunjin's comfort-giving hands, and hustle around his bedroom, rummaging for any clean piece of clothing.
He got himself a Chrome Heart sweat, asking Hyunjin if he wanted to get dressed, and pushed another Chrome Heart in his hands when Hyunjin nodded, his head dipping more as a flush crept up his neck and ears. Hyunjin snatched Chan's beanie after a short time considering.
“If the others ask, tell them you came to meet me for a new track,” Chan said, waiting for a reply, and looked over his shoulder when he felt eyes on his body. Hyunjin was looking at him in a painfully tender way just like yesterday when they had just had their ox bone soup and were going home, his legs were dangling from the end of his bed, and his mouth whistling to the tune of Close to You. Chan mused Hyunjin was indeed Seungmo's number one fan, humming along with him.
#
“What’s wrong? You seemed out of it when we were shooting for the Tommy’s ad.”
“My sis just called last night, mentioning my ma fussing over her. I miss my ma. I miss her food, her hugs, and her hands petting my hair. Does it seem selfish when I felt rather jealous of my lil sis? When she had ma around, and I’m not?”
“Channie…I think if it was me in your shoes, I might have snapped at her. It’s fine to have lil blackened dots in your otherwise genuine heart. Times like this I wish I could do something, anything to help.”
“You’re hugging me. You know that counts, right?”
“If you want, I can get Felix for you. Do you want that, Channie?”
“Nah, he will make me cry, we both know that Hyunjin-ah. I would be missing home more, haha.”
“How about Minho hyung? He might make you laugh, or Jisungie.”
“No…yes, maybe, later when I ask Minho for a curry. Just stay here with me, and don’t stop talking. I want it to go all away.”
“You know, Seungmin just got in a headlock because he was teasing Changbin too much?”
#
The Strays scurried into the shooting area, and then they met the director, who also had a tight schedule of his own, and got their first instructions on how the filming would eventually make its way on the national broadcast and that they would have two pre-runs before the live was filmed. Chan was listening tightly to everything he was told as the group's leader and their pillar; he was nodding everywhere to everyone who barely got in his vicinity. He quickly rushed to the emcee and talked through the same process he had known by his very brain muscle before the cinematographers guided him to arrange the group seating, which was split into two rows facing the master of ceremonies. He wasn't seated anywhere near Hyunjin, his mind unhelpfully supplied to his sullen heart.
It would be fine. I can meet him later, hopefully.
The shoot started, and Chan was doing his job, observing the vast space where his members were all interacting with each other when Jisung got his knees scraped by an unforeseen misfortune during his talent showcase. He usually wasn't that prone to injuries, even if he did seem to bump into stuff a lot. Chan didn't know what, but there was something in his guts that nudged him every time something happened to his kids. He sighed, frowning until Minho helped Jisung with his scratched hand. It's alright, he told himself as his breathing slowed, and it's okay, he promised himself that he would make everything good again. He tried to look reassuring when Jisung veered his head back, seeking his eyes. They just needed to go through another game, dance along to some of their latest tracks which were, from what he'd heard, Maniac and Case 143, and lastly, talk about random topics and whatever else afterwards.
There shouldn't be any cracks along the way, and Chan knew his members would be able to pull through, except there were pebbles in his shoes and holes in his foolproof plan as the game began with Hyunjin holding Changbin's hands. Chan was sure that he was not the one to go shamefully green with jealousy, but here he was, red hot with tight lips and clenched fists beside his body. He wasn't meant to feel this, Chan pondered, a clench startled him in his chest. Was it a good idea to continue this? I haven't even told the guys about Hyunjiin and me.
Changbin was flirting, of course, he was, always the tease. Hyunjin was playing his part, being shy at Changbin's advances, but Chan tethered on hoping Hyunjin wasn't feeling it, not exactly the way some people might interpret, people like himself. Hyunjin looked shy, turning away from Changbin's excited hands and flirtatious words. Chan blinked, keeping himself in check and taking a deep breath before he looked away from the interaction. He sought out Felix who was also one of his favourites to turn to every time he felt unwell, trying as he might, Felix was raptly focused on whatever Hyunjin was doing with his hips.
This strangely out-of-place jealousy wrapped around Chan's stomach, but then what exactly was the point when Hyunjin deserved the very attention he was receiving? Chan frowned and leaned inward, until Seungmin glanced his way and tilted his head, steadily locking eyes with Chan. He was adorable, trying to make me feel better. He must have thought I looked tired.
Chan smiled back at him, sharing a quiet inside joke and watching as the puppy-like singer gifted him a sweet smile. By the time he'd looked up from his silent conversation with Seungmin, Hyunjin's game session was finished, and the younger man was staring at Chan intently. Hyunjin suddenly felt the need to roll up his sweat's sleeve, the action but precisely the forearm that came to crossly brought attention to Chan. Was he demonstrating an imposing stance?
Hyunjin was coming his way as Chan blinked slowly, watching the young dancer fluidly wade across other members to his side between changing scenes. They were taking a brief break, and Chan sneaked a glance when Hyunjin stood by him, a hand found its way to Chan's shoulder while Hyunjin began to talk:
“Hyung, I saw you talking with Felix and Seungmin. Mind sharing with me something so interesting?” Chan mulled over the words as he took in the wavy locks that fell in front of Hyunjin's handsome face. He didn't think Hyunjin noticed the small chat he had with Seungmin, and a pathetic excuse of one with Felix when Hyunjin was as attentive as the former was to the little ado skit. Chan looked around the area, seeing some eyes follow them.
“Nothing in particular, I suppose, just some inane playful jokes,” Chan replied when Hyunjin's hand started to knead his shoulder a tad too forcefully. Hyunjin hummed, looking visibly heartened and unimaginably fond. Chan winched his back up, glancing at Hyunjin, and cleared his throat, knowing they were in bright in the middle of the shooting. Hyunjin muttered later with his closed lips, rubbing Chan's back quite innocently before he eased his way back to the assigned seat. That was strange.
Several minutes later, Chan allowed himself to relax and enjoy the shooting with his members as the emcee went about discussing their global achievements and giving a nod to their beloved Stays. Chan oversaw the slight discomfort Sungie had when the emcee directed a private question to him. It should have been easy as a cake, the typical ideal type, and ideal date questions. But the younger rapper was squeamish with his reluctant smile until Minho came to the rescue and then Changbin joined in with his quips. Jisungie was having a rough start, and Chan was having a heart attack looking at him.
The director suddenly called for a stop and asked them angrily what was going on with them and whether they had forgotten what they were supposed to do with their jobs, or if they had read through the script of today's show. Chan knew this meant that something was egging the man on because surely just a slight slip and rebound would account for such a reaction. His heart sank and his throat dried up.
He wearily stepped forward to have a chat with him, hopefully friendly, given the circumstances, Chan didn't want to test his luck today. The director was ranting as Chan listened, mostly about other unrelated issues to begin with, but he demanded an apology and Chan's head started to pulse hard, his vision swam as his tension rose. Chan muted it down, the sudden indignation at them being faulted wrongly, and apologized for their poor behaviour with his bent back and a bow to the right angle. He would never poke around a hornet's nest, having the short straw of dealing with the disgruntled man.
The director was more or less appeased while Chan felt so abyssed inside. One of those days. Chan kept telling himself, it was only a bad start.
The staff were looking at them with pity in their eyes, watching Chan from afar, he knew this looking up from his apology, but he had seen this before many times, it shouldn't even affect him in the slightest. He just prayed that their shooting would come out better in the end.
He veered his footstep to the right, coming back to his members so that they could get back on it.
The filming wasn't going well. They tried, Chan reckoned, and they did manage to answer the questions and quizzes much better after the fiasco. But the dance was disgustingly jumbled with Changbin's sudden forgetfulness when timed for the position swaps and such the result was a chaotic mess. Chan winced when they finished the Case 143 choreography, seeing the slightest pinch on Minho's otherwise collected facade. It was a narrow squeak, from the state Chan saw Minho was.
When it was time for the fan Q&A section, and the emcee returned to the most mundane but utterly personal questions such as what their first love was, Chan briefly felt a stone weighed in his guts. He couldn't really tell his story now, could he? Chan wouldn't be able to say that perhaps he might experience his first love, being loved and loving one of his members.
He observed as members darted around the questions like birds carrying magnolia branches. The set was enlivened by Lix's story of his kindergarten love life and Changbin's mostly humorous bromances, but when it was Hyunjin's turn to speak, he stuttered and smiled as if he was a deer caught in the spotlight. Chan cursed, worried about the gentle young man sitting in the row ahead of him, until Hyunjin came up with a sillier story than most of them. Chan was incredibly pleased and exuberantly excited with the endearing version of Jack the Beanstalk, in which Hyunjin's Jack climbed trees just to meet his first love and encountered the org-like father who chased him away from his golden daughter while earning enough sympathy from the mother and the giant's wife that she let him hide away to meet their treasured daughter.
He never got the chance to experience first love, Chan contemplated very hard, even though the feelings he was having for Hyunjin might have resembled one. Chan wasn't entirely sure, he'd been a child. This when he was asked, he answered truthfully, half truthfully if he were to overthink. He didn't have one, Chan said with a quiet laugh, hoping that somehow laid over it, his disinclination.
Hyunjin swung around, his eyes met Chan's, and for a short, wispy moment Chan thought he saw tremors in those brown shades. The laugh left him, and Chan felt a strange ache in his guts, watching Hyunjin turn back around to crack a joke about his unfortunate bachelor situation with Changbin. Tides of negative thoughts welled over him. As though Hyunjin quit trying to be his. As though Hyunjin wasn't his love. His lover.
Chan stumbled with his tongue tied when someone made a commnet referring to him. Chan couldn't contribute to the ongoing conversation when his heart wasn't in it, not by the slightest bit. Chan craved to go fucking back, rearwards elsewhere, anywhere but here. He was overcome by a strange uneasiness and suddenly, he wished he had a time machine, perhaps, a Time-turner, the one in the childhood Harry Potter series, and just turned back the last days he spent with Hyunjin. It might hurt less, feeling lonely at night than this ugly hollow feeling that he had persistently beneath his sternum.
They might seem to be meant, but they weren't. They tempted luck, at least he knew he had.
The filming ended without Chan's notice; he did hear something from one of his sides before everyone started to wrap up and the group began to felicitate the director and staff on their work. Chan thought he would have rooted there unseeingly if Jisung hadn't grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the spot. Where is he? Where is Hyunjin?
*
Chan went home with Felix, Changbin and Seungmin in his car pick, and the whole drive was somewhat pleasant when Chan knew today's schedule was done for if he didn't count his usual practice and exercise, Chan was free as a bird. He chuckled, somewhat of the caged bird, a mirage of a free bird.
“Chan hyung, wanna hold my hand?” Chan came around to the sound of chitter-chatter between Felix and Changbin, both of whom were also watching him out of the corners of their eyes. Seungmin was the one who offered it, a hand for him to grasp, and Chan was a tad emotional at his supporting gesture. Seungmin was like this, despite not being a touchy-feely person he always let others know that he was there for them if they wanted to let him in, that's it.
Chan took his hand and slotted their fingers, manoeuvring around until he felt deeply relaxed and for a while, Chan let the soothing sound of Felix's chuckles, Changbin's drones and Seungmin's hums wash over him.
“Hyung, do you wanna eat something?” Changbin asked, his hand was around Felix's shoulder, and he turned, slightly pulling the sweet boy with him.
“We gonna have Donburi, I think Minho texted in the group messages if you weren't aware.” Felix chirped, his eyes big aligning with the zest on his face. “Minho-hyung said he had gone there with Jisungie, and it was superb, the Japanese don.” Changbin was telling their driver the address to the restaurant where they would gather at around four.
Chan slipped into a private chat with Hyunjin, asking whether he would come, to which there was no phone trill to indicate an answer. Chan sighed, not understanding what had gone wrong just hours after they were intimate.
“Don't worry, he will come, hyung,” Said Seungmin whose hand encircled his, Chan was gobsmacked hearing his words, his fingers shifted, and his glance flailed, watching Seungmin's face.
Chan squeezed his hand and waited until they reached the place.
The kids assembled.
Chan saw that Hyunjin was seated by the window facing where everyone came from. He'd changed into his Chrome Hearts, and Chan did, too. Both of them sported a sweat from the same brand, almost identical in the brand fashion, and they were opposite from each other; Innie was by Hyunjin's, and Seungmin was his.
Hyunjin flitted his eyes on Chan's body; they roamed over his face, down his torso and continued southward to Chan's loose worn jeans. Chan gulped and acted as though he was downing his water as the guys started unruly talks about the Korea National Football League and fantasy football matches Jisung and Innie had had last night.
“You cheated, you bastard,” Jeongin quipped petulantly, his head loosely leaning on Hyunjin's shoulder and finger pointing to the perpetrator.
Jisung the munching squirrel was having a mouthful of pistachios, and he took much-needed time to swallow them, making Innie wait for a whole minute just for him to retort, “You're just a sore loser, Inyah, everyone knew I bested you by pure brain power. It's called good strategy.”
“I had the hat-trick duo in my squad yesterday. How on earth did yours score more than mine?” The youngest whined in response to the heckle.
“I would say formation-wised you didn't utilize your men,” teased Felix, who was whistling and winking at Jisung.
“That, and your mid-field was not coordinating. They lack communication.” Jisung snickered when Innie argued that fantasy football wouldn't need actual communication.
They went on until Minho brought a hand in the front signalling them to stop. Chan was the one to snicker this time, seeing how the two just dropped the topic in an instant.
“Today wasn't what we had come to expect,” Minho spoke up, suddenly, “Manager hyung told me to make sure everyone is back in full swing, and that includes you, hyung,” Chan was overwhelmed with something akin to shame. He jostled as his guts turned into knots.
“He also told me you guys need to take damn care of yourself,” Minho said while his gaze moved around the table to pin down anyone who dared speak up, oftentimes it would be Chan but not today. For Minho's eyes seemed to stay the longest on him. Suddenly, Chan felt as though he must not have done his leader's obligation correctly, so Minho had to speak out like this. Guilt burned, and on his head, a deluge of black smoke filled his mind.
“Hyung, he's in good hands,” Hyunjin whispered said. There was something in the small valour of it that quite finished him: these five words from Hyunjin were, in a flash like the spark of a drawn blade, the jostle of the cup that Chan's hand had held high and full to the brim that now, even weeks later, Chan felt overflow in a surge.
Hyunjin made a Freudian slip, “I... We are taking care of him. We take care of each other.” Chan found himself whimpering about everything that had happened for a week, but most definitely went on longer with thunders rolling in the far distance. He had wanted this kind of talk again. Chan remembered once he slept over Jisung's bed, crying in his arms as a new debut and thus new responsibilities.
Minho nodded when Chan looked up from his almost breakdown, knowing full well what those words Hyunjin intended for, what kind of audiences it targeted—Chan and the others. He didn't say anything about it and Chan was grateful.
Hyunjin gave Chan a smile, glittering with the warm lighting shone on his face, and a silent later.
It's okay. It is meant to be. All Right.
#
“Were my tracks bad, Hyunjin?”
“No! What're you saying? You put your soul into them. Of course, they are so good that I am floored.”
“But they got rejected for the album. I must have fucked up something. Jisung got his tracks in, and Changbin also managed to squeeze some of his in, even the older ones. I've got nothing, not even the old tracks.”
“Maybe next time, maybe you could just keep them for now. You know that we always haf'ta go with the theme we are assigned with every comeback.”
“I know. Of course, I know that. But when? The hard thing about it wasn't knowing they didn't cut it, but when was the time? The what ifs. And I dreaded that word. It seems nothing definite, and that should have given you hope but other times, most times it gives a bad augury.”
“Perhaps. Perhaps not. Come, lemme wash your hair.”
“Why?”
“A bad hair day, and it's making your hair curl, I mean, curler.”
“Hey, I'm not that terrified, nor I'm that curly.”
“I wouldn't know, you look a thread away from pulling your hair out, and I know that you got those curls. Haf'ta let them down, so Imma washing your hair.”
“Humph. I suppose that's good enough a reason. Promise me a good rub? Get me all pretty?”
“Yeah, gotta run my hand through your hair and all that, baby.”
“Love you.”
“I know, I am pretty loveable, what can I say.”
“Arse.”
“Your arse.”
“Mine. All mine.”
#
After the group meal, Chan was in the studio with Changbin, digging through other artists' tracks, trying to analyze the market was never a waste. They had always looked out for some new good shit, the sort that came from producers and mixers of other companies and sometimes even independent artists.
Changbin was tapping his fingers on some of AOMG's Code Kunst's latest products, analyzing and giving necessary remarks on how and what they, meaning 3Racha must learn to master before the end of the month. They were used to it, and Changbin occasionally gave critical feedback on and comparisons of their work. There would be something about it that they had to make changes to, always.
Jisung was always their mediator when the more heated conversations between Chan and Changbin came about, those that at first glance seem to question Chan's decisions, and thus, a prick to Chan's pride.
This wasn't the day. Chan knew that in many ways, Changbin's mindset was different from his in making music. And he had accepted it, got motivated by his approach even. There was no needless fight for the better while, more so today when none of the trio had the energy to even make many contributions, certainly not Chan.
“Guys, we made some mistakes but sometimes it wasn't our best days. I'm sorry about today. It was partly my fault for the mess that happened.” Changbin started, looking at Chan on his left and Jisung on the back couch. The 3D music that was blasting through their studio's speaker set was toned down to a low buzz.
“Things get back to normal, and the sky is always blue again,” Changbin uttered those last words, leaning back and humming to the tune he was listening to.
“I was nervous today,” Jisung stammered, his hands wrought together like curling crochet. He was having stage anxiety and most of the members already knew where to look. Chan knew, for sure.
“I knew. We all knew. It is fine, Sungie ah.” Chan turned around, looking at the upset face of Jisung.
“I'm deeply sorry, Chan. You had to apologize in my stead.” The young male was licking his lips, his eyes downcast.
“It's okay. I'm alright.” Chan said, somewhere in his being a knot loose, and Chan was somehow more eased, but he needed more. He wanted more, more of this. “You don't have to worry about it. Serious.”
“Guys, text me if you get some ideas started. I need to go a bit.” Chan stood up, turning to ruffle Jisung's purple-grey hair and hugged Changbin even though the rapper was trying to push him away (with a laugh, what's new?).
“Sure, are you gonna be back?” Changbin scoffed, almost nonchalantly.
“I guess, yeah.” Chan hoped. He wasn't sure, not this time but he would text them later.
“Right... we'll text you, cap.” Changbin's nickname for Chan made his steps lighten, and Chan rushed to look for a black-haired, lithe person in his heart, feeling a slight bit better.
*
“Hey,” Chan alerted the young male in the dance studio after watching him dance his breath away, trip-hop blaring through the double speakers; powerful basses surfaced through a subwoofer, and snares kicked in, all of which illustrated through his precise movements.
Hyunjin'd changed into a plain white tee and grey leggings to foster his dexterity and fluid moves. He was utterly immersed. Chan trudged inside the studio, watching the way the soaked leggings clung to Hyunjin's thighs, his sweat trickling over his face, down his neck and dampening his tee.
"Hi," Hyunjin turned his head to Chan as the latter approached, his cleats scuffing on the wooden flooring. Hyunjin pivoted his upper body and started to move to a different rhythm, which he found within his body cadence. His shoulders grooved, his hips dipped, and his knees bent, creating loose waves within Chan's arm's length. He held Chan's gaze with his movements and his eyes.
Chan laughed, not understanding but enjoying the moment. He began to move his hips when Hyunjin curled his right forefinger at him and smiled. They started to move together, spurred on by the beats their bodies made. Hyunjin's hands were clasped on Chan's hips.
"Are you done with your pieces?" Hyunjin asked, pulling Chan in closer with one of his hands. Chan felt the heat radiating from Hyunjin's body and was entranced.
"Hmm?" They found themselves grooving, feeling the bass in their bones and the melodies in their souls.
“Your songs? You finished them already!?” he asked again once Chan's body was merely an inch away from his.
Chan's hands were on Hyunjin's waist as he replied, "I didn't. I want to meet you." Hyunjin spun him around under his hand, and Chan's laugh echoed through the air.
Hyunjin steadied Chan with one hand on his waist and the other on his face, asking, "Really? I thought we would meet later." Chan tilted his head, jutting out his mouth.
"Why not now?" Chan questioned, slowing his steps and swaying Hyunjin as he took the initiative.
"Why not now indeed! So, are you good, Channie? Wanna talk?" Chan wondered if Hyunjin had been waiting for him.
"Yeah, I'm quite alright. And are you good, I mean?" Chan tentatively met Hyunjin's brown eyes, their bodies coming to a stop and the smell of sweat swelling in the air. Finally, Chan found himself back in Hyunjin's arms.
“I am. And I would like to know your thoughts about this.” He gestured at him and Chan, at themselves.
Chan looked at his hands, and shily he smiled, saying, “I like this a lot. I like you. I like us.” And then he treaded watchfully, “You still like me?”
“I do. I like you a lot. Loads.” Hyunjin nodded, his arms circling Chan's midriff, tucking him on his left shoulder with a tender hand. And he prompted kisses on Chan's temple and ear. Chan closed his eyes and let the thrum take them to a place of passion and joy.
“Why did you look upset with me in the morning?” Chan muttered, seeing the beanie he gave Hyunjin put on the desk some feet away. Chan locked himself to the warm body, feeling the evolving breathing that came up and down with Hyunjin's ribs. His inhales were longer as they steadied, more controlled and so hot against Chan's ear.
“I did? I looked upset?”
“Yeah, you weren't upset with me?” Chan jostled and opened his eyes, his hands holding Hyunjin's upper arms and pulled back just enough to keep his eyes on Hyunjin's complexion.
“Hm, I wouldn't say that. I was more touchy than upset.” Hyunjin tsked and paused to get his words out. He was still holding Chan, and they gazed into each other's eyes.
Hyunjin spoke his thoughts out loud, admitting that he was upset when Chan talked to Felix and Seungmin. “I got ruffled when you talked to Felix and then Seungmin. And offended when the director who seemed like a jerk, not that I knew all that he said to you, griped at you.” Hyunjin mulled aloud, and that wasn't what Chan thought he would say to him, not when they hadn't met eyes much after the incident until now.
However, Chan sensed that there was something else bothering Hyunjin. During the Q&A section, Hyunjin turned to Chan with a glimpse of hurt in his eyes. Chan urged him to share what was on his mind. "But there was something else, right?"
"Uh, that. Well, that was stupid. It was nothing," Hyunjin hesitated, as he struggled with the decision to reveal what was bothering him, as though he was wrestling with the desire to let it out in fear that it might hurt Chan.
"No, it wasn't stupid. Tell me. I want to know," Chan reassured him. As they embraced each other closely, moving in perfect sync, their bodies expressed what words never could.
“I was a bit hurt when you said you haven't a first love. With me, talking about you in a way.” Hyunjin admitted; his brows furrowed, and his lips wrenched at one side.
“Me? That Jack the Beanstalk style?” Chan mulled out loud.
“Beanstalk?” Hyunjin asked, flabbergasted at the sudden image.
“Nevermind. Maybe I will tell you in detail some other day, yeah?” Chan considered.
“Well, anyway, I knew that it must have meant that you liked me. But not liked like me, so I get a bit sulky. That's all, but I figured there is still time to make you like like or love love me. The way that I feel about you.” Hyunjin smiled, and Chan wanted him to kiss him.
“I really like like you though. I just didn't want to admit it just yet.” Chan said, coyly, and he leaned in so that their noses were a hairbreadth away from each other and their searing breath mingled between the tiny distance.
Chan held himself so still, motionless for ten whole seconds, locking eyes to Hyunjin's and awaiting the inevitable. His heart seemed to skip a beat when Hyunjin didn't make a move.
But when Hyunjin's face crossed the inches of distance between them, Chan's heart shook into rapid beats again, the feeling of it pounding against his sternum. Hyunjin's mouth pressed against Chan's, one soft, chaste kiss was all that brought Chan reeling, and tingles, Chan felt, radiating from the kiss to Chan's spine.
Chan grabbed at the dancer, trying to slot their lips, and tasting the sweet coke that lingered in Hyunjin's breath. He eased up, going for air but Hyunjin's hands were clutching him by his biceps, pulling him in and pressing his tongue between Chan's lips, seeking an invitation. And Chan was willing. He was so pliant under Hyunjin's command.
Chan's heels were suddenly lifted as Hyunjin dropped one open-mouthed kiss after another after another earnestly as though he was compelled and couldn't help himself. Hyunjin held him so tightly it hurt, but it was real in its entirety, and the notion alone made Chan whimper, dazed and overtaken. He was in Hyunjin's clutches, and it was all that he wanted.
Hyunjin slowed his kisses and let Chan down on his heels again before he let their heads switch to their opposite sides to fit their lips better in an unhurried, sloppy kiss. Hyunjin lifted his eyes which shone like obsidian, and held Chan's face so that he could kiss Chan's temple again. For a brief second, Chan had to wonder what was going on with Hyunjin and his temples before he put that aside.
Chan felt his breathing slow as he mouthed Hyunjin's jawline. It was brackish with his protruding drops of sweat, Hyunjin was always hot and more ever so after his dancing. He looked glistening, and Chan kept nipping Hyunjin's skin down his neck until he tucked himself there in the cavity between his neck and shoulder.
“I felt jealous when you were playing the game with Changbinie,” Chan admitted between their sweet nothing whispers.
“Is that so? I didn't know.” Hyunjin bent his neck, grinning and teasing Chan.
“Yeah, it was a bit idiotic. After today, maybe we should talk to them about us.” Chan said, insistently seeking friction underneath Hyunjin's t-shirt hem.
“I'd like that, yeah.” Hyunjin hummed, his fingers combing through Chan's curls. Chan was so pleased that he could purr.
“Hyunjin?” Chan licked his lips, making a small noise.
“Yes, Channie?" asked Hyunjin, humouring.
“Will you pet me tonight? In your room, please? I want you.” Chan whispered low in Hyunjin's ears, hands still stapling on Hyunjin's skin by the waist.
“Alright, everything for baby. Did I tell you how well you handled everything today, baby?”