Chapter Text
“Do you really think we can beat Maruki without Ren?” Morgana asks.
“We’re going to have to,” Akechi replies. “Clearly he wants nothing to do with the true reality.” Or with us, he finishes silently, miserably in his head.
“He was doing what he thought was right,” Makoto says.
Akechi turns to look at her. He’s furious, and he knows objectively that she doesn’t deserve to be the recipient of said fury. And yet, the rage pulses through him like a living thing. He bears his teeth and fights to keep his temper in control, curls his hand into a fist and digs his fingernails into his palm until he feels the sharp bite of pain. “I should have known you would cave at the first sign of conflict,” he snaps. “You never had half the strength your sister did.”
“Akechi,” Haru says firmly, as though he’s a dog that she can call off.
He turns to face her. Her brow is furrowed and her mouth has a determined slant to it, but her features ease when she sees whatever terrible expression must be on his face. “Surely you don’t think that we need him,” he says.
Haru bites her lip, glances at Ann. “No. It’s not precisely him that I think we need. I think we need to work together, and that his historically been provided by Amamiya-san’s encouragement and abilities.”
“We are working together,” Akechi says. “Or we were, at least.”
He sneaks a glance at Makoto. Her face is a little red, but mostly she looks furious. He probably shouldn’t have said that. He doesn’t really feel bad about it, but he sort of wishes he did. After all, it’s not Makoto that he’s angry with.
“Makoto’s right,” Ann says. “He was doing what he thought was right, but… that doesn’t make it okay. I’m sorry you’ve been through this so many times Akechi. I’m sorry that you haven’t had a choice in any of it.”
Ann Takamaki, always smarter than he thinks she is. Always able to cut through to the emotional core of an issue.
“I shouldn’t have compared you to Sae,” Akechi tells Makoto. “I’m angry with him, not you.”
“I’m starting to care less and less how much like her I am,” Makoto replies. “But thank you nonetheless, Akechi-san. I appreciate it.”
“This is touching and all,” Ryuji says, “but what are we supposed to do about Maruki?”
“What we have to,” Akechi replies. “We’ll fight him again. It’s our only choice.”
Haru’s face goes pinched and worried, her brow furrowing. Akechi shakes his head minutely, and her mouth twists. No one else knows that if they fail, he won’t come back.
Haru purses her lips. “Akechi.”
He doesn’t want to tell them. He wants to live with this alone, and not inflict any of them with the burden or be subject to any of their pity.
“This is my last fight,” he says. “No matter what. If we succeed, we’ll return to the true reality, where I shouldn’t be alive. If we fail, I won’t get another chance. If I die again, Lavenza can’t bring me back.”
The confession startles quiet out of all of them, the silence hanging uneasily over their heads.
“Are you sure?” Ryuji asks.
“Yes.” Akechi doesn’t hesitate.
“Right,” Ryuji says. “That’s all there is to it, then.”
“How do we know for certain that this is the right thing to do?” Yusuke asks.
“What?” Futaba flinches away from him as though she’s been struck.
“Amamiya-kun has never steered us wrong before,” Yusuke continues. “Would it be foolish to assume that he could be correct in this decision as well?”
“You still have faith in him?” Akechi asks. “After everything that we’ve been through?”
“No hero is a perfect man,” Yusuke says, “regardless of what the paintings and the stories tell you. I believe he made a foolish decision and then was unable to undo the consequences. We get trapped sometimes in choices we make or didn't make, in situations outside of our control.”
Even now, they're all so eager to forgive him. It turns his stomach, puts his teeth on edge.
Haru stands. “I hardly think that matters right now. We're going to go into the Metaverse and we're going to beat Maruki, and we're going to do it without Amamiya-san’s help. He may be our leader, but that doesn't mean that we have to depend solely on him. We'll succeed. We have to.”
It's not much of a speech, but they all gather themselves up anyways.
Akechi wants to take her aside to thank her, to squeeze her hand and tell her that he appreciates her, but he knows the words would never come out right.
“I think it will all work out,” Sumire says softly.
Akechi looks over at her. “What was that?”
“I think it will all work out,” she repeats. “Amamiya-senpai, he’s… well, I understand better than anyone the dangers of falling prey to Maruki’s promises. I’m so sorry it happened at your expense, Akechi-senpai. But… I believe in him.. Even despite everything else that's going on, I believe in him.”
From anyone else, such foolish devotion would turn his stomach. From Sumire, he feels a vague flash of annoyance and nothing more.
“What would your sister have done?”
Sumire frowns, her brow furrowing. “She would never have given up without a fight. But she would have remembered that forgiveness isn't the same as giving up. I think you keep that in mind too.”
He looks away. “Forgiveness is not a luxury all of us get to have.”
Sumire’s mouth is a thin, tight line stretched across her face.
Akechi wipes imagined dust off his trousers and stands. “Very well. One last fight.”
--
Akechi knows even before the fight has started that they’re not going to win.
He can hear Lavenza's words ringing like a bell in the back of his mind, like a ticking clock that counts down the seconds to his death. With every attack he uses, every slash of his blade, he thinks to himself: this is the last fight I will ever have. After this, I will never do anything ever again.
It’s just, in a way. He’d always thought he would go down fighting. At least he gets to control this death. At least Ren hasn’t taken this from him as well.
Futaba shouts a warning over their comms, throwing up a hasty shield to help protect them from Maruki’s latest, most devastating attack. Haru dodges gracefully out of the way, then pulls her gun out and shoots without looking. The tentacle that had been about to sweep through Mona falls to the ground with a thud, and for a moment they have a clear attack.
Akechi puts his all into his next blow, and Maruki staggers back, clutching at his chest before he recovers enough to summon shadowy, clawed arms that reach from the back of his Persona. They’ve gotten him to use this attack a few times before, but they all died soon after.
It won’t happen this time. It can’t.
“He’s getting stronger!” Futaba warns, her voice sharp and anxious in his ear.
It’s a slow, miserable fight, but they chip away at his strength. When Maruki’s persona falls, it’s anti-climatic -- just a low cry of pain from Maruki and a dull burst of blood. Akechi can smell burning metal and antiseptic in the air. His heart hammers against his chest, his limbs ache, and he’s barely standing, but they’re going to do it. Hope. Such a fragile thing.
“Now’s your shot, Crow!” Futaba shouts.
A grin slices across Akechi’s face as he steps in front of the others. He draws his gun and shoots, and this time no reality altering powers interfere. Maruki stumbles back, clutching his chest.
For a moment, he thinks they’ve won. Maruki’s treasure appears, and Akechi snatches the golden torch out of the air, gazing at it with something like wonder in his eyes.
Then the world around them starts to tremble.
“What’s happening?” Ann shouts.
Maruki lifts his head, his eyes flashing, and the faint spark of hope within Akechi vanishes. He knows that look. He knows what a wounded animal looks like before it’s about to strike back.
The bell that is Lavenza grows louder in his mind. No matter what, he is going to die from this. He will never leave this place, but the panic that he’d felt when Lavenza had first told him is fading. He never thought he would get to die for something before. He always thought his death would be a murder and not a battle.
“Sorry,” Maruki says, “but I won’t admit defeat just yet.”
They’ve never gotten this far before. Everything past this will be new territory.
They don’t have Joker, and they’ve lost all the advantages they had going into this fight.
“Give it up,” Akechi calls. “Change the world back, or we’ll be forced to change your heart.”
Maruki shakes his head. “You know I can’t do that. I’ve been chosen by the world itself… granting this wish is my responsibility!”
He reaches out, and the torch flies from Akechi’s grasp and into Maruki’s. He holds it up to the sky, and a gold glow surrounds him.
Despite himself, Akechi takes a step back.
“I can’t believe it,” Haru murmurs.
The Persona that stems from Maruki is gargantuan, a veritable titan of destruction. It looks down at them with pitiless, empty eyes and lets out a roar of pure power.
“He’s evolved his Persona!” Futaba cries.
Yusuke is the only one of them to dare to step closer. “Such strength of will…” he murmurs.
“If it’s for everyone’s happiness, I don’t care what happens to me!” Maruki cries. “With mine and Adam Kadmon’s strength together, our reality is nigh!”
Just like that, they’re thrown back into the fight.
The battle from then on is a whirlwind, a bloodbath. The hilt of Akechi’s sword is slick with blood, his heart pumping so fast he can scarcely breathe.
Morgana heals them all as fast as he can, but even he can't keep up with the rate at which Maruki does damage. Each blow seems to hit harder than the last, each taunt more shattering.
Akechi wipes blood off his brow and orders Noir to switch spots with Queen.
They listen to his orders and rally as best as they can, but they’re losing. They’re going to die here. They can all feel it.
Haru looks desperately over at him, and Akechi shakes his head. There’s no backing down. He said this would be his last fight one way or another, and he means it.
“Need a hand?”
The voice that cuts through the battle is low and soft. It sounds like it knows a grand secret that the rest of them could never comprehend, and like everything they've ever wanted is just out of their grasp.
“Joker,” Akechi says, so softly that he isn’t sure he said it aloud.
“You came!” Makoto explains.
Joker shrugs and rubs the back of his neck. “I thought about what you what you guys said. What all of you said.” He looks at Akechi. “I’m really scared.”
One of Akechi’s molars is loose. He can taste the blood in his mouth, can feel a sharp pain when he pokes at it with his tongue. For once in his life, he is completely honest. “I am as well.”
Joker nods, then rolls up his sleeves. “Right. Well, let’s get to it.”
The fight isn’t easy once Ren arrives. But it’s doable. Their wounds don’t sting as badly. Maruki misses more often, and their attacks rarely miss. Joker rifles through his Personas and always manages to pull up the exact right one just when they need it.
It’s been so long since he fought at Ren’s side. He forgot how good it feels, how easy their rhythms are to fall into.
“Crow, swap with Skull!” Joker calls.
Akechi digs his heels into the ground and bares his teeth. He's been in this fight longer than anyone, and he’s earned the right to take back semblance of control over anything that happens to him.
“I won't sit idly by while you decide my fate for me,” he says.
Joker adjusts his mask. He is the most beautiful man Akechi has ever known, and he is never going to be able to think of him the same way again. “Right. Panther, Mona, swap!”
The fight is faster with him. When Maruki finally crumbles to the ground, they’re bloody and battered, but they’re all standing.
Maruki is swaying slightly, as though he might get up or collapse at any moment.
Joker meets Akechi’s gaze. “Well? Finish it.”
--
When Akechi next opens his eyes, he’s staring at the sun.
It’s been countless days since he’s last seen the sun. He’d nearly forgotten what it looks like.
He scrambles to his feet, his head craned up to look at the blue, blue sky and the bright sun. It hurts his eyes. He doesn’t look away.
He feels awful, exhausted and worn down in a new, unfamiliar way. It’s like every time he died in the loop at once, all coming together to hit him like a truck. All the times he should have died have stacked up inside of him.
Around him, the other Phantom Thieves slowly wake and get to their feet, in various states of confusion and fatigue.
Haru sees him first. “Akechi? You’re…”
Akechi touches his face wonderingly. “I don’t know,” he says. “I don’t know if it will last.”
Haru throws herself into his arms and buries her face in his neck, clutching him tightly. It hurts. His arms ache and his muscles scream, but he hugs her back as tightly as he can. “Thank you,” he murmurs into her hair. “I don’t think we ever would have made it out without you.”
“I’ll never forget anything that’s happened,” Haru says. “I’m going to be the person you made me for the rest of my life.”
It doesn’t feel like a condemnation. Rather, it’s a celebration. A promise.
Akechi doesn’t feel right, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t let go of Haru until the knot in his chest has eased. He feels nauseous, the way that he does when he’s died in the time loop and come back the next day.
He wonders if this is Lavenza, giving him one last chance to say goodbye.
Haru finally releases him and steps back, holding tightly to his shoulders. She kisses his cheek so swiftly that he can’t object to it. “I love you a lot,” she says. “You’re my best friend.”
Akechi opens and closes his mouth. “You’re my best friend as well,” he says eventually.
Joker scrambles to his feet. For the first time in months, Akechi sees him for what he really is. Not a mythical enemy, not a hero, not a fantasy or the love of his life. Just a kid that got in over his head and didn’t know how to get out.
“Akechi,” Ren says. “You’re alive. You’re here.”
“I don’t know if it will last,” Akechi replies curtly. “And even if it does, I have no intention of speaking to you ever again.”
Ren flinches. “Akechi, please. Just let me explain. I can explain everything if you just let me.”
“I have no interest in your explanations,” Akechi replies. “There is nothing you can say that would change how I feel about you.”
Haru drops her hands from his shoulders and stands at his side instead, their arms pressed together.
Ren looks so brittle that one gust of wind could shatter him into a million pieces. “It was enough to see you every day, to know that I would see you every day. You were alive. Every day I woke up, and I knew that you would be alive. Is that such a bad thing?”
What do you say to something like that? How are you supposed to react when someone is willing to ruin the world to keep you alive? Akechi hasn’t ever experienced this kind of devotion, doesn’t know what to do with it. Doesn’t even know if he wants it.
It feels like he’s watching this happen to someone else, like he’s not really in his body. It’s probably his mind, trying to protect what little sanity he has left. Or, he’s dead and the process of wasting away is just taking longer than they all thought it would. “If you ever thought that this could have ended any other way after everything that you did, you were lying to yourself.”
“I’m sorry! I couldn’t live without you. I needed to be able to know that you were alive,” Ren says. His voice cracks. Akechi is distantly pleased by it. “I-I love you.”
Akechi meets his eyes. He is so, so tired. “You don’t love me in a way I want to be loved.” His voices tightens a little on the edge of the ‘o’ in love, but he continues on. “I am never going to forgive you,” he says. “I want you to know that. That I died angry with you. That I died holding a grudge I will never, ever let go of.”
“I was afraid to lose you,” Ren says. “I-I just wanted us to be together. I wanted you to be alive, to be happy.”
“I wanted to make my own choices,” Akechi replies. “But we can’t always get what we want, can we now?”
This is perhaps the most emotional Akechi has ever seen Ren. His eyes are bloodshot and red, brimming with unshed tears. “Akechi,” he says. “Please.”
Haru squeezes his hand as hard as she can. Her jaw is set, her eyes determined. No matter what happens, she won’t forget, and she won’t forgive Ren for a very long time, if she ever does.
There's a certain amount of comfort in knowing that that someone will know what choices he did and didn't get to make for himself.
“It's too late for that,” Akechi replies. He drops Haru’s hand and looks out at the others. “Thank you very much for your assistance. I would never have been able to accomplish anything without you. I'd always thought your fervent dedication to teamwork was foolish, and although I still do, I can acknowledge that it has its merits.”
Ann rubs her eyes. “Of course. Anytime you need help saving everyone, just give us a call, ‘kay? We’re in your corner.”
Akechi smiles tightly at her. He squeezes Haru’s hand one last time, nods at the Phantom Thieves, then drops Haru’s hand and walks away.
The sun shines bright above him, its warmth soaking through his hair and covering him like a blanket. The air is fresh and crisp, and there’s not a speck of snow in the air. Akechi feels like he’s breathing deeply for the first time in years. The sky is a bright cerulean blue above him, and the street beneath him is impossibly real, the first truly solid ground he’s stood on in months.
Akechi turns down the first alleyway he sees and keeps walking, feeling for once in his life a certain serenity. Footsteps sound loudly behind him, and he can hear Ren calling his name. The buildings tower over him on either side, empty crates sit askew in the alley. Somewhere in the city, Akechi can hear the faint call of crows.
Ren’s footsteps behind him fade away. Akechi keeps walking; by the time Ren rounds the corner behind him, there’s nothing there, only an empty alley and a dead end.