Chapter Text
Zhang Hao is honestly wondering how he lived his daily life without Hanbin in it, and that’s not just his feelings talking.
Hanbin is maybe the most genuine person he’s ever met. He’d always known Hanbin was kind and compassionate, if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t want to become a teacher. He’d always taken notice of Hanbin’s kindness in their shared classes, how he would always be leaning over to explain a concept to the person sitting next to him, even if he didn’t know them that well.
People can fake being nice. They do it all the time. Even Hao himself does it sometimes.
It seemed like Hanbin was incapable of showing anything other than his true self, which was so much kinder and gentler than Hao thought he deserved.
Yeah, Hanbin was his “boyfriend,” but he had somehow become more boyfriend over the course of a few weeks. He always, without fail, would open doors for Zhang Hao, even if he had to jog ahead to do so, smiling when Hao had to squeeze through the doorframe and Hanbin’s body. He opened everything for Zhang Hao, whether it be bottles or packages, and it didn’t even seem like he thought about it. Zhang Hao had opened his own water bottle once, and Hanbin sulked about it for almost 10 minutes. He had quickly taken notice of Zhang Hao’s tendency to run cold, and all of a sudden he either had an extra jacket or some hot packs with him at all times.
Hanbin was so kind, and it was doing horrible things to Hao’s heart.
Hao himself, however, was not as pure and kind as Hanbin. This doesn’t mean he wasn’t nice, of course he was nice. He was definitely taking advantage of Hanbin’s kindness.
Ever since the initial kiss, Zhang Hao found it difficult to resist the urge to do it again. The worst part was, he didn’t even want to do it to prove a point. He wanted to do it for real, in private, to see truly how shy Hanbin really is.
He wasn’t going to let his urges get the best of him, but he thought about it all the time. When Hanbin drops him off for class, he wants to lean in and kiss him goodbye. When Hanbin picks him up, he wants to kiss him again. When they’re sitting pressed against each other, Hao really wants to kiss him, to watch his face scrunch up in embarrassment, too close to hide. Hanbin makes him want to turn into the types of couples that he hates, the kinds of couples that him and Ricky make fun of in poorly concealed giggles, and Zhang Hao hates that he can’t, because Matthew exists, and Zhang Hao would rather never see Hanbin again than to see him unhappy.
—
Hanbin regrets everyday not planning out this relationship better.
He had (belatedly) realized that there is no clear end to this relationship. Either he has to abandon fake dating Zhang Hao to fake date Matthew (gross), or he has to get rejected by Matthew, and have Zhang Hao break up with him (embarrassing).
The thing is, Hanbin doesn’t know where to go from here.
He’s not blind. Matthew definitely has something going on with Keita, and has no interest in Hanbin whatsoever. Thank God. But him and Zhang Hao have become kind of stagnant. They’ve oddly become close friends throughout this whole ordeal.
Zhang Hao is so much like him, and yet better in every way. It’s like talking into a mirror sometimes, and talking to a better version of himself other times. Either way, Hanbin values Zhang Hao too much to lose him to something as stupid as Hanbin’s own feelings, or Hanbin’s (Gyuvin’s) stupid plan.
—
When Hanbin asks to talk to Zhang Hao about something later, Zhang Hao is terrified. When he finds out it’s to ask Zhang Hao to go to a party with him, Zhang Hao is delighted.
Hao is definitely not the most social of social butterflies. He’d definitely have to hand that title off to Hanbin. But Hanbin is asking him to be his (fake) date, and he’s looking at him with those starry eyes that Zhang Hao has a hard time saying no to, so he finds himself agreeing before Hanbin even gives him any details.
“Really? It doesn’t really seem like your scene. You can say no, Hao hyung, I won’t be crushed.” Hanbin says. Zhang Hao isn’t sure if he believes him.
“Yes, I’m sure.” Zhang Hao reassures. “Whose party is it anyways?”
“Jiwoong hyung’s! He’s a dancer friend of mine and Matthew’s. Truth be told, I think he has a little crush on Matthew.”
“More competition for you, huh? Matthew’s a popular guy.” Zhang Hao teases, smiling more when Hanbin grimaces.
“Whatever,” Hanbin says, quickly changing the topic. “We can go together. I think Matthew and Keita are driving together anyways.”
Zhang Hao feels a little bad at the mention of his best friend. There’s no way Hanbin hasn’t noticed the relationship blooming between Keita and Matthew. It’s so obvious even Ollie and Yujin have picked up on it, and Zhang Hao can’t help but feel a little sad knowing that if they get together, Hanbin will have no reason to stay with him. This is almost over.
“Helloooo,” a hand waves in front of his face, “Earth to Hao hyung.”
Hao shakes his head, blinking at the younger boy. “What?”
Hanbin giggles and Hao feels his ears heat up. “I said, I’ll pick you up tomorrow and we can go together? Okay?”
Zhang Hao nods, leaning into Hanbin’s side so he doesn’t have to look at his face.
If Zhang Hao knew everything that was going to happen tomorrow night, he’s not sure that he would’ve agreed.