Chapter Text
It had been a few days since their fight.
Alec had come back to the institute that day and done his job like usual.
Isaballe had given him looks for the whole day and Alec knew it was only a matter of time till he was cornered and interrogated.
She had done exactly that.
Later on he would feel guilty for telling her to stay out of his business and apologize but in that moment he was just so pissed.
Now that he had time to calm down there was no use prolonging a visit by Magnus’s any longer.
They had to talk it out eventually.
Alec was willing to admit to the mistakes he had made.
Yes he was frustrated and stressed but that was hardly the Warlocks fault.
The man had been nothing but kind and caring even though Alec had been awful for weeks.
He really was a saint. Alec thought with a smile enhancing his lips.
Even more so a reason to apologize.
His partner's concern had been true.
Alec did need a break back then and he had been neglecting their relationship because of work.
If he was honest, he couldn’t remember their fight in detail.
That same day there had been a mission, - he couldn’t remember that one either - which had left him with a concussion.
Everything during the hours before and after the hit he must have taken to the head were blurred.
Alec knew that they had had a fight about his tendency to overwork himself again.
It must have been pretty intense as well, if he left the loft afterwards.
There was only so much about what he had said to the Warlock that was still existent in his memory.
It was vague to say the least.
Still couldn’t have been good.
Not with his temper added on his emotional and physical state.
Entering the loft always felt like finally stripping off all his worries.
During the last few weeks he wasn’t able to appreciate the effect.
Now, after some rest, he was.
The loft seemed quiet, which wasn’t unusual with Magnus often quietly working on potions and spells.
However, there were times when he came to the sound of music blasting and Magnus dancing around the loft humming and humming.
He loved both versions.
It always felt like coming home.
Alec went to Magnus’s bedroom first.
What made him freeze up in an instant was how sterile everything looked.
The bedsheets were freshly made, there were no clothes lying around, no books.
Maybe Magnus had decided to clean up. It was beyond him how the loft could look chaotic when the Warlock could clean it completely with one pinky.
The living room looked the same. Everything was clean.
It made Alec shudder.
The loft felt lifeless.
There was an uncomfortable feeling churning in his stomach that he pushed down.
The note that he found in the kitchen stole his breath.
‘No. No. That could not be true. Magnus would not do that.’
But the evidence was there all around him.
Magnus’s clothes were gone, as were all his books and potions.
Alec slumped down next to the bed reading the note again and again.
Dear Alexander.
Our fight was grotesque.
The things you said to me hurt.
They hurt a lot, if I’m going to be honest with you.
For so long I thought you were the one. The one that would never hurt me like that again.
No one is perfect. I understand. You were stressed.
All you had to do was talk to me, Alexander.
Why would you say those things?
I think a break would be the best for both of us.
I know that I love you, but I loved people before and they ended up hurting me just like you did.
What I’m not sure of anymore is if you love me as well.
Magnus Bane
The air was catching in his throat as reality sat in.
‘Please let this be a dream. Please let me wake up from this nightmare.
I love you Magnus. I need you.’
It was hours after he started crying in his misery that sleep finally took claim of him.
The worst part about it in the days after was that Alec just could not remember most of the things he had said to Magnus that day.
All he can think about is how horrible he must have been for Magnus to compare Alec to someone like Camille.
The vampire that had abused the warlock for the angels sake.
The least person he ever wanted to hurt was Magnus. Kind, strong, brave Magnus.
Alec was a ghost of himself.
There was no home he could return to anymore after work because Magnus had been his home as he realized now.
That is why the loft felt empty even though it looked the same.
This had caused him to move back into the institute.
There was no way he could be within those walls everyday and sleep alone in their bed with Magnus being gone.
’You don’t know what you have until it’s gone’
Alec loathed that saying because it was oh so true.
He had put work before the Warlock those past weeks.
Had not appreciated him and dismissed his concern.
If he could find Magnus and beg him for forgiveness, he would - and that he swore to himself - make sure to never treat Magnus like that again.
You are only stupid enough to lose the love of your life once because of what you did.