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Jae-Ha really wasn’t the kind of guy who involved himself in personal problems, especially when said problems had virtually nothing to do with him. There were a few exceptions he made with his pirate crew, because damn if he didn’t love those boys and his captain, but that was the extent of it. Jae-Ha was a free soul, he wouldn’t voluntarily worry himself with someone else’s problems.
That being said, Jae-Ha found himself approaching one of his travelling companions despite his principles. He probably loved these boys and their princess quite a bit, too. His blood; the Green Dragon; made sure of that. He could still rationalize this uncharacteristic concern. Kija was terrible at restraint, and Jae-Ha simply didn’t want the man to royally mess up.
He still felt a little breathless even after all this time, by how beautiful Kija was. Kija had looked up at him from the log he was sitting on before the campfire, his small smile illuminated by the orange-red flames, “You are done with cleaning up? Did Shin Ah finish the leftovers?”
“You know he always does,” Jae-Ha replied, sitting next to him, “Especially yours. You never finish your food properly.”
“I try my best!” Kija huffed but his expression smoothed over quickly enough, “Shin Ah could use the extra food, our last ordeal must have tired him out.”
“How noble,” Jae-Ha said easily, and while it was meant to tease, he really did admire how Kija cared for Shin Ah. It was interesting to watch a pampered, sheltered kid take care of someone who grew up in wildly different conditions. It was endearing. But Jae-Ha had come here for business, “We’ve got to talk a little, Hakuryuu.”
Kija raised his eyebrows at Jae-Ha, but he gave the Green Dragon his full attention. Jae-Ha briefly scanned his surroundings. Zeno and Shin Ah were playing some weird game where they clapped their hands together in a rhythm as Yoon watched nearby, grinding some herbs into a paste. Yona was a little farther away, and judging by the sounds of metal swiping the air and Hak speaking in low monosyllables, they were probably practicing swordsmanship. That was good. It wasn’t the best of environments, but they didn't have much of a choice.
“It’s about how your chest hurts every time Yona responds to an advance someone makes. Mostly Hak’s.”
Kija’s eyebrows were still raised, “Alright? What about it?”
Poor Hakuuryu, so pure and clueless.
“Do you want to maybe talk about it?”
“About my chest pains?”
“About your feelings for Yona.”
Kija blushed furiously, the way he does whenever someone implied of there being something between him and the Princess, and Jae-Ha would have gladly teased him to prolong his blushing but…he was not fooling around, this time.
“M-my feelings are the same as everyone else’s, Jae-Ha. She’s extremely important and I have vowed to protect her till my very last breath and—“
“I know, I know. But you’re also in love with her. And you’re not good at handling that, Kija.”
He almost hated how Kija’s face fell, how he was looking at Jae-Ha as if he had just realized his own feelings. It almost pissed Jae-Ha off. How deep was Kija in denial? Kija stared at him for a while longer, before exhaling softly, “I’ve never been in love before.”
That was true. Jae-Ha gradually realized how significant that was, “Do you think you are now?”
“...Perhaps. But there is nothing I can do about this, it is not in my power. I doubt it is in yours, either. “
Jae-Ha sighed, “It is constantly hurting you. You’re going to ruin yourself at this rate. The least I can do is talk to you about this.”
“What do you suggest I do?” Kija’s brow furrowed in a small frown, worried.
“First off, you gotta realize that whatever you’re feeling comes from the Dragon, not you. Then, you detach.”
Kija seemed affronted. He placed his dragon hand over his chest, shaking his head, “I don’t do that to myself, Jae-Ha. What the White Dragon feels is what I feel. I am the White Dragon.”
“That’s where you have to make some effort. It can get overwhelming, but it’s not impossible to differentiate yourself from the dragon inside you, Kija. I’m a living example,” But Jae-Ha shut his mouth at the look Kija was wearing.
“But I don’t want to be different from the White Dragon. It’s all I’ve ever known. You can’t ask me to do that.”
An impasse, at its finest. Jae-Ha couldn’t say that he had expected this talk with Kija to be easy. He shrugged then, smiling his usual casual smile, “I just don’t like seeing you hurt, man.”
Kija’s smile was lovely, somehow, “That’s uncharacteristically sweet of you.”
Jae-Ha chuckled, “What can I say? I’m a sweet, charming man. But…I’m serious. It’s not healthy for you to feel the way I assume you do over and over again.”
“It’s…it has been quite distressing,” Kija admitted, but his smile didn’t wane, “But it’s nothing I can’t handle. My main priority is to be of utmost use to Hiryuu, and as long as I’m fulfilling my duties, I’ll be alright, Ryokuryuu.”
“I know, I know. You’re still human, though. And she’s your first love, too. It can’t be pretty.”
“Well yes, but—“Kija cut himself off, then tried again, sitting up straighter, “But I’ll try to be good about it. I’ll…”
It was kind of sad, seeing Kija unsure of himself. But it cannot be helped. Jae-Ha didn’t want Kija to experience unrequited love. Some people just didn’t deserve that.
“Distractions usually help. Which isn’t really an option considering that we’re travelling with Yona for who knows how long. But you could always just throw yourself into something else. Be occupied with someone else, even.”
Kija’s mouth twisted a little, “I’m planning on staying with Yona forever. It’s only natural. But…I think I know what you mean. Well then!” He clapped his hands together, suddenly enthusiastic, “I’ll throw myself into loving my estranged brothers!”
Jae-Ha thought he had heard wrong, “What?”
“You and Zeno and Shin Ah. I’m going to learn everything about each of you, while protecting Yona with my life.”
“That wasn’t really…what I meant,” Jae-Ha ran a hand through his hair, chuckling a little. Kija never failed to amuse, “I was talking about you getting a girlfriend or something, Kija.”
Kija’s expression turned sour, “And where would I find one? Back in my village? No, thank you.” Kija shuddered, shaking his head, “I’d rather not. I have you with me, that’s good enough.”
He wasn’t even flustered, the idea of that was ridiculous, but Jae-Ha’s face felt warm, somehow, “It’s a different kind of love you’re talking about.”
“Is it really, though?”
Jae-Ha was not expecting that at all, “Isn’t it?”
“Hakuryuu loved all of his siblings; Green, Yellow, Blue and Red. I love Yona, but I love you, too. I don’t think it is that different.”
This was beyond wild. Of course, Kija probably meant what he said in the most innocent, practical way possible, and yet Jae-Ha felt like he was being confessed to. He made himself laugh a little though, shaking his head, “No, no, Kija. You don’t understand. When I say a different kind of love, I really do mean it. Your feelings for Yona could be translated into loving her, touching her. Maybe kissing her. It incites a different kind of feeling in you, you know? That wouldn’t happen if you kissed me, for instance.”
He really was trying to help Kija deal with his emotions, considering they’d be travelling together for the longest time. It was for the benefit of everyone. That might have prompted him to be a little more blunt than usual, to get his point across. Kija was blushing even worse as a result; Jae-Ha was a little worried that he’d pass out from the blood rushing to his head. The White Dragon muttered something, quietly enough that Jae-Ha had to lean forward.
“I can’t hear you, Kija.”
“I said, I wouldn’t know what it’d be like if I kissed you. Much less Yona. I’ve never been kissed.”
Somehow, Jae-Ha felt his own face heating up. Which was ridiculous, he had talked about first kisses before, with men and women alike. He was the master of casual when it came to the topic of romance and intimacy. He owned attraction and sex appeal. And yet—
“Would you like me to be your first?”
It was a joke, even his tone was playful, and Jae-Ha was sure. Teasing. It was his thing, he flirted relentlessly, everyone knew that. Kija should know this.
Kija seemed to be considering it, and Jae-Ha suddenly felt like he was wildly out of control.
The White Dragon chewed at his lower lip slightly, before glancing at Jae-Ha with suspicion in his features, “You’re not serious, are you?” Despite his wariness, Jae-Ha saw something else there, something like actual curiosity.
He was in too deep now. He had to make a decision, right at the moment.
“I could be.”
Kija’s wary expression dropped into something vulnerable, and Jae-Ha felt breathless. “Then…maybe you should kiss me. Just so I’ll know what it’s like. If you want to, that is.”
And Jae-Ha found that he really wanted to. He hadn’t planned on this, but now he found himself unable to think of anything else. He had never seen Kija look this way, expectant and a little worried, and so beautiful; Jae-Ha couldn't help but want to kiss him.
So he did.
He leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Kija, who turned as rigid as a stone at the contact. Jae-Ha didn't linger, pulling back after a brief touch to gauge Kija's expression. Kija brought his fingers to his own lips, seeming to contemplate what had just happened, and then raised an eyebrow, "This is what people rave about?"
Jae-Ha laughed. He couldn't help it, for some reason this felt...Maybe Kija had a point about the dragons inside them loving each other just as intensely as they loved the Red Dragon. Jae-Ha smirked, leaning closer once more, "If I may try again? I'd hate to leave you disappointed. Stop me whenever you want, okay?"
"Alright," Kija seemed confident now, bringing his hand away and lifting his chin, ready for Jae-Ha. Jae-Ha thought that his heart was going to burst.
He kissed Kija once more, but took his time to map Kija's lips with his own. The knowledge that he was kissing Kija was vivid and loud in his head, and when Kija started kissing him back, he was sure that his heart exploded. Just like that, he was gone. His tongue slipped into Kija's mouth and Kija made a low noise that Jae-Ha's head spin. It was too much for Kija too it seemed, as he pushed Jae-Ha's shoulder with his human hand, leaning back with his eyes wide and face flushed.
Kija swallowed, looking at anything that wasn't Jae-Ha's face, “...Oh. I suppose it makes sense now."
"Was it good?'
Kija's face turned even redder, and Jae-Ha couldn't help it. Kija was lovely.
"Mm. I suppose. It's..." Kija glanced at him, at his lips, and looked away again. He seemed to need some time to process what had just transpired, and Jae-Ha was more than glad to give it to him. Even he wasn't quite sure what he himself was feeling.
Kija clapped his hands together, sitting up straight suddenly, "Well! A shared learning experience! I'm glad we did that. Perhaps we should try again in the near future. It'd be...a process of getting to know you better...Jae-Ha?" With every word, Jae-Ha had been moving closer to Kija, close enough that they were sharing the same breath. Kija didn't say another word, unable to tear his eyes off of Jae-Ha's lips now.
Perhaps this really was the start of something. Something had shifted in between them, for good or bad, Jae-Ha couldn't quite tell yet.
It was Kija who closed the distance between their lips this time.
They kissed and kissed, and Jae-Ha didn't think of anyone else at all the whole time, not even Yona.