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The secret was out of the bag years ago when you were eighteen; the first time you stayed in an apartment with people who aren’t your parents, the first time you saw Eli waking up before the first bell of the alarm rings and the first time Nico brought in a Christmas tree twice the size of her and failing miserably, judging from the loud noise outside the room.
The secret was out five years ago on a Christmas eve, with you pretending to sleep and Nozomi clinging onto your arms on a huge bed (two beds combined to be exact because the four of you slept together), who was also pretending to be asleep and you knew that because your medical ass told you to watch out for her breathing pattern. One which you begrudgingly memorized when you spent too much time watching her chest rise and fall, from watching her sleep on your days off.
The secret was out five years ago when Nico short-circuited the whole house while trying to light the festive bulbs and you know she did because the heater in your room stopped breathing like you did. You held in a gasp and Nozomi was shaking in your arms, you saw mirth dancing in her eyes as she clamped her mouth shut.
You heard Nico’s desperate yells of “The gifts! The gifts!” and Eli’s slightly high-pitched shrieks about the lights.
“They tasked me with keeping you in bed with me,” She whispered, half laughing, pulling you back into bed with a warm hug, “Don’t disappoint them.” Not that you have any intention to leave anyway, you sank back into the warmth, dismissing any concerns you had. It took you a moment to click, the boxes sitting on Nico’s desk, the ribbons on Eli’s and ridiculous number of wrapping paper rolls.
“Do they still think-” You began, cogs turning slowly in your head.
“That you still believe in Santa?” Nozomi gave you a smile, one you grew to love over the years. “Yes.”
“Elichi is adamant about it, so much for preserving your innocence. And Nicocchi is a huge softie,” Nozomi smiles fondly, “Besides, it’s Maki-chan’s first Christmas with us!”
“I found out when I was sixteen-”
“Shhh… Just keep quiet,” She shut you up with a kiss to the cheeks and you felt yourself burning up despite the cold seeping into the room. “They’re coming back.”
You heard Eli’s soft footsteps and Nico’s low grumbling as they made their way back into the room, the heater roared to life as if announcing their arrival. You could tell Nico was pulling Eli along in the dark, the heavy footsteps sounded almost angry, Eli was letting out the barest hint of whines and you smiled to yourself.
The bed sank as they climbed in, warmth radiating from the newcomers and you never felt like you belong to a place so much.
It was warmer than home.
The secret was out five years ago and it had since evolved into some sort of pact between Nozomi and you, a sacred mission to act like you didn’t already know. Their yearly routine includes a huge Christmas haul, not to mention tons of wrapping papers and failing some way or another while setting the tree up with disastrous apocalyptic sounding noises. Eli never got over her fear of the dark and you know Nico has the tendency to play the worst sort of pranks. Eli tries anyway, a fierce warrior equipped with a battered torch that she claims is the greatest invention. A determined soldier who is unfortunately not very good at stealth. You wonder if you should tell them that they aren’t being too subtle.
The secret was out five years ago and you wonder if you could keep up with the lie this year, because it is taking everything in you not to bellow that you knew. You, Nishikino Maki, found out the shattering hoax 1825 days ago. You, an honours student who is well-read and very smart, intelligent, brilliant, sharp, just a bit short of a genius, knew that Santa is nothing but an elaborate lie. Everybody has a past they wish to be buried and this is yours, even as you feel like burying yourself in a hole with the way your roommates are pampering you right now.
“Are you staying up for Santa-san again this year?” Eli asks excitedly, almost bouncing on the expensive sofa. No, you convince yourself, excited is nothing but a cover, Ayase Eli is nervous. Another Christmas carol plays on the television and you are this close to screaming. You begin doubting your reasons for dating three idiots at once.
“You know I always sleep before eleven,” You say with a calm voice as you reach out to twirl the ends of your hair. “It’s not healthy to sleep late.”
Eli’s mouth forms a silent ‘o’ and you laugh at how obvious she is relieved. Your precious senior who is also very naïve.
“What is it?” Eli asks, and your heart almost stops before it appears to you that only confusion is laced in her brain, you are still safe.
“You still have chocolate on your cheeks.” You say coolly, before reaching over and wiping it off with your index. You give your finger a lick and it is almost like a switch, you watch colours spread over Eli’s cheeks before turning away in embarrassment.
“I-It’s pretty good,” You stutter out, your smart ass tells you that Eli will take this chance to launch into the different types of chocolates, their history and origin, how they taste like and the composition of each type of chocolate. There is a moment of silence before you hear her soft voice again.
“Maki is much better than chocolates though,” You turn around to see Eli with a bashful smile, “Sometimes… when you are blushing like that.”
“W-What?”
“Like that!” Eli laughs and pulls you in a hug, smiling so wide you feel like your heart is bursting.
The kitchen door slides open a while later to a Nico who spots you hugging Eli on the sofa and you find yourself smiling at how Nico faltered for a moment before visibly steadying herself. She takes three steps forward, you could see how she is trying not to frown, and sucking in a deep breath like she did before every concert.
“Do you want dinner, a bath, or me?” She finishes the whole thing with a large dose of Nico nico ni. Your eyes glaze over the apron Nico is in and you silently congratulate yourself for dating three perfect girlfriends before your soul returns to your body.
“No.” Eli snatches the word out of your mouth and you could hear Nozomi laughing from the kitchen. Nico visibly frowns and gives a thumbs-down.
“I’m not asking you. Please shoo, disgustingly long blonde,” Nico continues, relentless. She squeezes in between the both of you, failing at pushing Eli off the sofa. “What about you, Maki-chan?” She closes in and asks once more in a sickeningly sweet voice.
“No.” You give her a repulsive look, “What are you doing wearing a sleeveless shirt on a cold winter day?”
“I thought- ”
You make quick work of removing your cardigan, throwing it around Nico and pulling her close. (Eli’s long arms wrap around you both silently.) She remains dazed for a good minute before you find yourself too close to your short nemesis. You are suddenly hyper aware of her eyes looking at you intensely, her glossed lips, how cute Nico is when she is at a lost and how much you love the person before you.
“You get cold easily so…” You whisper out, “Don’t do that.” You grab her cold hands and rub them with your own. She is gaping and you are internally screaming at yourself, but it is too late for your brain to send anymore signals to the rest of your body.
The brief silence is enough to realize the extent of your grave mistake and you are two seconds too late to prepare yourself as Nico flushes red and kisses you on the cheek spontaneously in an outward expression of love.
“I’ll have you take care of me anyway.” She whispers in your ear and you find yourself in a weird mix of maximum embarrassment and mild disgust. Count on Nico to make your stomach churn like you are having a million butterflies inside. She gives you a wide grin and cups your cheeks, as if she knows you will be turning away from her.
“Awwww.” And that’s how the magic shatters, when Ayase Eli coos at the both of you, with glistening eyes and one hand over her chest.
You give Nico a curt nod before pushing Eli off the sofa.
Nozomi settles down with you later after dinner, which was fantastic and Eli spared no effort in singing its praises. You managed a couple of compliments and watched both Nozomi and Nico’s faces light up as you munched on the food; your girlfriends are terrifyingly easy to please.
Nozomi’s hand over yours pulls you back, you find yourself in a very warm embrace and face full of Nozomi’s chest.
“Maki-chan is a good girl this year too,” She pats your head gently and you find yourself weakly resisting her grasp, “Getting all the good grades, all the performances. And most importantly still keeping them in the dark.”
“It’s not like I want to lie or anything. I just didn’t expose their plans.” You mutter out with gritted teeth, “Santa is a lie.”
“He is, sadly.” Her tone turns serious and you notice it is the one she uses whenever she mentions something fairly unhappy. Like her parents for example. “Oh Maki-chan…” She says, gently kissing your forehead and holds you tighter.
“You all make better Santas.” You blurt out, almost upset that you made her upset. “I mean. It’s not like I need presents anymore.”
“Oh.”
“I could never ask for anything more than the three of you.” You continue and you watch a myriad of expressions fleet through right before you.
“Awww Maki-chan is being honest.” Nozomi finally chuckles and rubs your cheek with her own.
“S-Stop.”
“Maki-chan~” She buries you in a hug that you grew to love, not that you will ever admit it anyway.
The secret was out five years ago and here you are watching the clock tick close to two in the night, Nozomi with her arms tight around you. You wonder why they didn’t have the foresight to switch things up a bit, maybe taking somebody who isn’t afraid of the dark out for a night walk. You hear Eli’s excited squeals along with Nico’s happy grunts outside the room and find yourself dismissing every thought. They’re perfect just the way they are.
A while later you hear their footsteps closing, years of practicing in your subunit helps you differentiate them apart, before the door closes with a small creak.
“We’re back,” You hear Nico whispering, returning to Nozomi’s side of the bed. You half expected Eli to come to your side next and waits with baited breath.
“Nico turned off the torch again,” Eli complains softly, sulking apparently, because you hear Nozomi and Nico’s sickening coos. “That’s not very fair. I’m not giving you the torch anymore.”
And that’s when you realize they are cuddled up in the other bed and you’re gloriously alone on a one that is too large for one; Nozomi has long since let go of your arms.
“It was just for a second! It is nothing compared to how you spoiled my moment with Maki just now. Disgustingly long blonde.” Nico argues, and you assumed they must’ve all cuddled under the huge blanket because you could barely hear their muffled voices. “Alright alright, you get to be in the middle for tonight as an apology. Wait let me-”
The bed sinks and you feel Nico’s parting your fringe. The blanket over you was pulled up and Nico kisses you on the forehead.
“Goodnight Maki-chan.” She whispers, you could almost see her tender smile, one that you catch whenever you pretended to be asleep. You hear some shuffling, a small cry from Nozomi as she trips, before two gentle kisses are pressed to your cheeks.
“Goodnight Maki.”
“Goodnight Maki-chan!”
Somehow you manage to drift into a deep sleep with Nico’s hands in yours, Nozomi hugging your waist and Eli on top of you.
Not that you are complaining anyway.