Chapter Text
Freed hates everyone.
Well at least everyone who thinks life begins before noon. Eleven am at the earliest.
He especially hates whoever is currently leaning on his fucking doorbell right now.
Cursing he dragged his eye open with a groan, blinking uselessly at the clock on the bedside table. He wasn't sure why it was even there since he couldn't read the damn thing without his glasses. When the irritating charm came again, triggering a spell that caused the bed to shake he sat up with a curse. The secondary spell was a necessary addition since if given the choice the green haired mage would gleeful weave a silence rune and go back to blissful sleep. Trying to counter-act this particular spell required him to be awake enough to feel guilty about ignoring whoever was trying to get his attention. Muttering under his breath he stood up and grabbed the first pieces of clothing at hand before stumbling out the door to his room. It was during times like this, as he felt his way down the dark staircase, that he really wished the doorbell was set for Evergreen and Bixslows rooms as well. Unfortunately Bixslow would only sleepily send his babies to terrify whoever was at the door away without waking up and Ever in a fit of temper would turn the offender to stone. Usually Freed could get away with sending Laxus down to answer the door since the slayer got pissed off at the disturbance faster. However since he was out of town on an S-class mission that meant Freed was sleeping alone and stuck doing it himself.
Only stumbling once against the wall as he reached the entrance way he unlocked the door and pulled it open. Nearly getting hit in the face as the first raised to bang on it once more met with no resistance to it's intended target.
"For the love of-" Freed bit off the curse as he stumbled backwards falling gracelessly to the floor.
"Oops. Sorry Freed." Natsu's bright smile was only contrite for a moment before he brightened again. Freed decided that this early in the morning he hated that smile.
"Do you have any idea what time it is?" The rune mage demanded rising back to his feet and stalking forward to prevent Natsu from stepping though the doorway.
"Six am." The pink-haired idiot responded chirpily. Freed felt his eye twitch. Yep, he officially hated him, as soon as he was properly awake Natsu was going to be in for a world of misery.
"And what, pray tell, are you doing here at this ungodly hour?" Natsu tilted his head in confusion.
"I wanted to see if Laxus was up for a fight. I'm totally gonna kick his ass this time so go get him." Freed sighed and dragged his hands down his cheeks. Natsu's particular brand of logic was too hard to understand at this time of day. Freed shivered as the chill morning air brushed over his bare legs and he shifted irritably at that.
"He's out of town on a solo S-class mission right now." Freed informed him hoping that would be enough to send the younger man on his way. Unfortunately that didn't seem to be the case as Happy appeared and settled on top of Natsu's wild pink hair.
"Freed, I don't understand. Why does your shirt say you're Laxus?" the exceed asked with confusion and Freed squinted down at the gold scripted letters, just close enough that his far-sighted eyes had trouble tracing them. Luckily the purple colour of the shirt clarified what the cat had asked.
"I- it..." Freed wasn't sure how to explain, this early in the day, the difference between a verb and an adjective, and upon consideration wasn't sure that he even wanted to. Luckily however Natsu spoke up overriding his stammer.
"It's obvious Happy. He's dressed up as Laxus, he's even wearing Laxus's boxers." Natsu sounded completely satisfied with that answer and Freed belatedly noticed how low the shorts he'd grabbed were sitting, the waist obviously a size too big and only barely staying up. He started at the two of them not sure how they were eve having this conversation.
"No I'm not." he objected as Natsu grinned delightedly.
"This is awesome, if you're pretending to be Laxus I can fight with you instead!" Freed groaned. How the hell were these two this dumb?
"Fuck it." he muttered quickly drawing a serious of runes in the air before flicking them at Natsu and the pair disappeared, teleported into the middle of the Sabertooth guildhall. "It's too early for this." he continued on to himself as he closed the door and hit the permanent rune that disabled the doorbell and secondary alarm before turning and heading back upstairs. He was going to curl up around Laxus' pillow and pretend that this whole exchange was a dream.