Chapter Text
"Hey..." Jax said, worry clinging to his words. Usually, Jax would expect Ribbit to have her lamp on, illuminating those small, soft stars that cascade around her room. Much to his surprise, her room was entirely dark, except for the sliver of light coming in from the partly open door Jax was holding open. His eyes glazed across the room, stopping on her figure. She was sitting in the middle of her bed, hugging her knees and covering her head in her arms. "Are you okay?"
Ribbit let out a small sigh. "I'm... fine," she lied. "Can you please close the door?"
Jax stepped into her room. The door creaked slightly as he gently shut it behind him, becoming absorbed in the darkness that filled the room. Slowly, he carefully made his way to her bed, feet shuffling along the carpeted floors as he tried to navigate the room blindly. He reached the end of the bed, his arms searching for the bedsheets before him, before finally sitting down next to her. Ribbit remained still in her state. Clasping his hands in front of him, Jax's mind wandered over what to say. Eyes blinking and trying to adjust to his pitch-black surroundings, he decided it might be best to wait for Ribbit. Silence sat between them for a while. Ribbit's quiet, controlled breathing was the only sound that broke it every so often. Eventually, she reached out her hand, exploring the bedsheets for a moment before finding Jax's hand. Together, they clasped fingers, and Jax smiled to himself, a small wave of relief rushing over him. The familiar sensation of her hand in his was enough to lighten the weight of anxiety lingering on his chest. He gently squeezed her hand.
"I don't know," she whispered, changing her answer to his question. "I'm just overwhelmed with everything."
Jax nodded to himself. Encapsulated in the darkness, the only things he could focus on were the softness of her hand in his, and the gentleness of her words, brushing through the air like a flower against the wind. He rubbed a thumb over her hand, reassuring her. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Ribbit sighed. "No," was all she could muster.
"What can I do to help?" he asked. "Do you want to be alone?"
"No," she interrupted, squeezing his hand. "Please don't leave." She turned her head towards him. "It's... nice having you here with me."
Jax grinned, letting himself relax. He wouldn't allow himself to let go of her hand, so he leaned back in bed, his other arm behind him for support. Silence filled the air around them, Jax taking comfort in Ribbit's soft breathing. "So, does being in the dark comfort you?"
"I guess," she sighed. "It's quiet. I forget how much we need that. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm going to explode." She rubbed her free hand against her leg.
"Is there anything I can do to help you?"
A small smile crept on the corners of Ribbit's mouth. "Just sit with me." Ribbit was grateful Jax had found her. Not that she had expected it, but it was a nice feeling to know that Jax had understood she had a bad day and sought her out.
Gently squeezing her hand, Jax felt a smile emerge on his face. "You know," he spoke softly. "When I was little and got overwhelmed, I would just start screaming."
A soft laugh escaped Ribbit. "That sounds like something you'd do."
"Hey, it helped!" Jax defended himself, laughing at her reaction. "I remember one time, I was really young, and it was my birthday. I looked around and saw everyone towering over me, clapping and singing in my face. So I just started screaming," he laughed. "Everyone stopped and left me alone after that. You should try it."
Ribbit chuckled. "I'm not going to start screaming. That just sounds like too much chaos, it's perfect for you." She shifted in bed to be closer to Jax. The bedsheets ruffled beneath her, only quieting when Ribbit's side was firmly pressed against him. "Thank you for sitting with me. I like being close to you... like this." She leaned her head on his shoulder.
Jax furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, feeling something soft on her face when she leaned next to him. He shifted in bed, the fingers of his free hand exploring her face, finding a soft, plush fabric resting over her eyes. "Is that- are you wearing a sleep mask?"
She giggled at his question, shrugging to herself. "It helps me relax. It's like a constant pressure against me. It's nice, it feels... comforting and safe."
"Alright, Ribbit," Jax jokingly said. "You're wearing a blindfold, but I'm the weird one for screaming."
Ribbit sat without saying a word. Jax's sentence hung in the air.
His eyes, still barely adjusting to the dark, glanced over in her direction. Guilt crept into his chest. "You know I'm just joking, Ribbit," he whispered softly. "I'm sorry. Please, let me help you."
Ribbit put her head back up, her body tensing up with her words. "I need to do something. It's not fair... It's not fair that I feel like this. It feels like a big joke, or like a flaw in myself. It's like I can't function, but it's not even my fault..." she explained. "I just- I wish I had more control, you know? More control of my surroundings, of my emotions..." she trailed off.
Jax pondered silently. Slowly, he felt his hand being guided by Ribbit's and gently placed on her leg. Hearing the bedsheets ruffle beneath them, he got the sense that she was facing him now. "Jax," she whispered, barely audible. "I ...need to be in control. Is that okay?" she asked. She rubbed her fingers against Jax's hand, lightly adding pressure against her leg.
"Um," Jax stared in her direction. "H-how.."
"I need... I want- I think I might feel better if..." she stammered. She let herself take a deep breath, slowly exhaling while she nervously played with Jax's hand. "It would help... if you and me... if we- or, rather, if you... It's... a big ask," she sighed with disappointment. "And I'm scared to say it."
Realization set in, and Jax could feel his heart begin to race. He swallowed dryly. "Ribbit," he said with nervousness. "Are you asking that we-"
"Yes," she cut him off. With Jax's hand still being played with, he could sense that she became very tense, her body shying away from the situation. "Is that okay? Or- I don't know, maybe I was wrong to ask that. It's a little embarrassing and.. I'm sorry," she sighed deeply, her voice becoming small between them. "I just thought it would help."
His heart fluttered at her words, a mixture of sadness and excitement all at once. His heart sped up in his chest. "Ribbit," he softly chuckled, squeezing her hand reassuringly. "I don't think it's stupid at all. I'm just thinking... how are you going to feel in control if I'm doing things to you?"
"I'll let you know what I want," she explained, quickly tucking her legs under her and sitting on her knees. She grabbed the hand resting on her thigh and squeezed it against her chest. "Please, Jax, is that okay? I know it's a weird ask, but... it would really help. I've just felt so overstimulated with everything around me. I want to feel grounded."
"Ribbit," he spoke softly, turning himself towards her completely. "It's really important to me that you really want this. I don't want you to feel even more overwhelmed or upset by anything. So please, if there's something you don't like- or if you change your mind-"
"I want it, I want it a lot," Ribbit rushed her words, nodding. Slowly, she guided Jax's hand further down her body. "I need it. I need something, please. I just need to feel you. I need you near me." A fiery warmth erupted in her cheeks. She was grateful the lights were off. "I feel safe with you, Jax... I want to feel that safety."
Leaning forward, he pressed a gentle kiss against her cheek. "Everything's okay, Ribbit," he whispered. "You're safe with me, I promise."
"I'm safe with you," she recited, almost like she was whispering that to only herself.
Jax let her guide his hand all the way down her body, his fingers caressing between her open thighs. He heard a soft whimper escape Ribbit's lips as he rubbed her. Ribbit squeezed his shoulder, steadying herself on her knees.
"Oh, my god," she breathily moaned. She let her head fall back, thighs opening even wider to welcome his fingers rubbing against her. She leaned back in bed, accepting him further as he left gentle kisses along her collarbone. Eyes fluttering shut, she steadied her breathing. The darkness wrapped around her like a blanket, worry and fear dripping away, and she felt herself slowly slipping into a sea of peace and bliss, drifting amongst the waves. The soft pressure of the mask against her eyes was like the warmest, most comforting hug. She had difficulty putting her feelings into words, but luckily for her, Jax understood her completely. Ribbit liked to portray herself as cool and relaxed, carrying herself with ease and grace. But underneath those layers, it was very easy for her to crumble when she felt a sensory overload. The intense lights illuminating the circus. The bright, festive colors decorating every piece of decoration and furniture. The loud, rowdy chaos from their spontaneous adventures would be enough to make her eye twitch and heart speed up. She never understood why these feelings would come and go. But when they came, it crashed against her like a train. She savored the comfort of the darkness.
Feeling her chest tighten, she recognized how scared she had felt, and how desperate she was to flee from the fear. She was eternally grateful for Jax, for how patient and how important he understands this is for Ribbit. He knew Ribbit was overwhelmed with all the things she could not control, that for at least one night, she wanted to do things her way, on her own time. Even if that meant Jax would succumb to whatever she wanted, he was more than happy to use himself like this if it meant the love of his life would feel secure.
Jax continued to slowly rub his fingers against her, feeling her hips start to move over his hand in rhythm. "Is this okay?" he asked. Unable to experience the sight of her face, he chased the sound of her sweet whimpers.
"Yes," Ribbit's breath hitched, a soft moan escaping her lips. "Mmm..."
Jax could feel her relax against him more and more, his fingers becoming increasingly wet from her. She rocked her hips in small circles, her arms supporting her as she leaned back in bed slightly. "Fuck..." she whispered to herself. Jax leaned forward to kiss her, her moans now quiet in her throat. She cupped his face gently with one hand. "More, please..." she begged.
Slowly, Jax started to tease her with his fingers, slowly inviting two fingers inside her. Ribbit let out a small gasp and immediately relaxed, a shaky laugh escaping her. Her face grew hot as she felt him inside of her. Jax eventually pushed his two fingers all the way inside of her, listening to her breathing get heavier. Slowly, he started pushing them in and out, fingering her to the soundtrack of her moans. Ribbit fell backward in bed, using her elbows to keep her supported as he continued to finger her, now using his thumb to rub on her clit at the same time.
"Fuck, Jax..." she moaned. Circling her hips, she threw her head back in bliss. "Oh... god, yes." She felt her warm fluid run down her inner thighs.
"Do you like that?" he whispered with a grin.
"Mm hmm..."
"Tell me what else you want," he teased. He wished he could see what she looks like. He could only imagine the way her cheeks would blush that perfect pink whenever she was turned on, and the way her beautiful lips would part when it was too good. Seeing Ribbit like this was one of the greatest pleasures of his life. He would thank the moon and stars a million times over for giving him the chance to have Ribbit in his life, so he could experience her beauty and wonder in every way he could. "I'll do anything for you. Over and over."
"Wait," she shivered, her hands tightening on his wrist for him to stop. She tried to slow and relax her breathing.
"Are you okay?" Jax eyed curiously, carefully pulling his hand back in apology. "I'm sorry... Do you want to take a break?"
A quiet giggle came from Ribbit. "I know what else I want to try."
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"Oh, my god... fuck..." she sighed. She had a pillow under her chest for support while she had her ass in the air. Jax held onto her ass with both hands, steadying her with every thrust. "Fuck me..." she moaned.
"You're doing so good, Ribbit," he praised. Hearing a quiet, muffled giggle from Ribbit caused a wild smirk to appear on his face. He listened to Ribbit's rhythmic moans, like it was music to his ears. Though they remained in the still of the darkness, he closed his eyes, letting himself fall further in this dream. His breathing was heavy, and as he slowed down to gentle but deep thrusts, he felt himself throbbing inside Ribbit, his fingers squeezing against her ass as he tensed. "Fuck, Ribbit..." he sighed as he picked up his pace once again. He leaned forward to wrap an arm around her waist, fingers rubbing at her clit as he continued thrusting hard and deep inside of her. Ribbit almost collapsed underneath him, thighs spreading further apart and her ass arched higher, almost thrusting against him as well.
"Oh my god, yes..." Ribbit moaned, involuntarily rocking her hips against his dick. "Oh, fuck... fuck me, Jax," she whined, burying her face in her pillow as her fingers searched for something, anything to grab. She got hold of the bedsheets and grasped at them, relishing in the feeling of Jax thrusting deep inside her, all while rubbing her clit, giving her exactly what she wanted. It was what she asked for. What she begged for. To feel grounded. "Fuck me, fuck.." she panted, practically melting into the bed beneath her. She could feel more warm liquid trail down her thighs and legs. Her whole body jerked to the rhythm and intensity of Jax's thrusts.
This was exactly what she needed. She needed to be in control of the situation, to be able to voice what she wants with no judgment. She needed to feel safe and secure. Her familiar bedroom, the warm sheets, the darkness that felt heavenly. The sound of her love's breathing from behind her was enough to make her heart burst. Her face was pink with slight embarrassment, her chest warm with lust and excitement.
Colors erupted behind her eyelids. In the swallow of the darkness, behind her mask, resting under her eyelids, was a song lulling her to sleep. Smooth, even waves of serenity and bliss cradled her, shielding her from the ruins of her life. Her heart constantly yearned for a light. For a breath that wasn't hard to take. For a feeling of calmness to rinse her of the chaos she felt so tight in her body. Her soul ached for a chance to let go. She thought of Jax. The one who held her when she couldn't hold herself anymore. The one who she spent countless hours spilling secrets to, eyes gazing up at the stars that reminded her of her shackles. In a world of uncertainty and recklessness, she found a light within him, glimmering like a beacon of hope. Her heart was racing, as if all her love for him would spill out.
Jax placed both hands against her once again, quickening his pace. "Ribbit... fuck," he strained. "You're doing so good."
"Fuck yes..." she cried, lips parted in anticipation. She felt like she could explode. She wanted to scream so badly. "Oh my god, Jax..." she gasped, frantically riding his dick from behind and chasing her orgasm as she buried her head further in her pillow. Her muffled moans and cries filled the quiet, dark room as her body convulsed from her high.
Jax shivered at the sound of her moans and cries, eyebrows furrowed in intensity. "Good girl," he sighed, grinning to himself as she continued to ride out her orgasm against him. "You're such a good girl, Ribbit. Fuck..." He felt his face get fiery hot, and continued with a last few wild thrusts before finishing inside of her, hips bucking against her ass.
Jax pulled back, giving him some time to catch his breath. Slowly, Ribbit turned over in bed to face him, sniffling.
His heart stopped, eyes attempting to focus on her barely lit silhouette. "Ribbit, are you crying?" he asked, crawling towards her. "I'm- I'm sorry if that was too much. Ribbit, are you- I should have asked if-", he stopped himself, hands searching for her. Grabbing her waist, he brought her closer to him.
Ribbit reached out to him, hands cupping his face and bringing it down to join hers. The kiss was slow and tender, steadying her heart. She felt him relax in the kiss, all his worries slipping away.
"I'm more than okay," she giggled. "Thank you."
"I'm glad I could cheer you up."