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"Hey-hey~, why don't we 'touch grass' or something?" Hu Tao asked, smiling as she gestured to Xiao's dark room, her hand faltering in the direction of the red-eyed white rabbit plushie tucked in his bed, "Instead of staying in here all holed up and brooding."
She winked mischievously like the troublemaker she was, grabbing Xiao's hand to pull him to the door as he limply followed, just sighing at her albeit refreshing antics, "It'll help, promise, hehe..."
Promises...
They are flimsy, easily discardable, and forgettable things, yet, at the same time, depending on the person, they can hold enough power as a true contract sealed with blood and one's own soul.
But, of course, he was not here to ponder contracts and promises and the complexities of the world. He was here, at Yaoguang Shoal, to relax. To go outside. To forget.
The salty air of Yaoguang Shoal burned Xiao's nose as he looked at the shallow waters stretching and merging into the horizon. A few birds circled above, their shadows diving and gliding through the clouds.
(Wasn't it strange that all these blue colors seemed so dull and lifeless?
It had started after that day...
No, he shouldn't think about that...)
A few rock formations rose from the pale sand, gray against the gold-leaved trees that dotted the beach and the swirling colors of the seashells, like little fragments of the sky fallen onto earth.
"Aiya! Still so gloomy even after being out here in the fresh air?" Hu Tao wagged her finger in Xiao's face, snapping him out of his thoughts.
"Come on, the sun's out, the breeze is nice, why don't you at least try to enjoy it?"
Xiao just ignored her, mumbling in reply, "Why don't you bother someone else?"
"Aww, what a bummer." Her gaze grew softer, not with pity, but understanding, and she whispered, "I felt the same when my gramps died, but it will get better, so don't give up already, alright?"
(It was truly pathetic, the way he was acting.
He had already lost so many people before, so then why did it hurt so much this time?
Indarius, Menogias, Bonanus, Bosacius, Pervases, Skybracer...
And him.
He shouldn't be feeling this.
Grief was a common, familiar thing.
It was something he had grown used to.
It shouldn't hurt anymore...)
"...Fine..."
"That's the spirit!" Hu Tao laughed, but it felt hollow and fake, flicking him on the forehead, and then stepping back, winking as she pranced over to the other Allogenes.
"If you need anything, just tell me!"
Suddenly, she stopped and looked back, a thought having entered her mind, seemingly, "Oh! And there's this little story I heard: if you throw a seashell into the ocean, then it will grant you a wish! Hehe~"
She turned around just as quickly as her words flew out of her mouth, already pouncing into Xiangling's arms in a fit of giggles and a high-pitched squeal from the easily scared girl who was also a victim of her buffoonery.
Xiao stared at her blankly and then glanced at the sand around his boots, sighing as he took them off and banished them away with a flick of his wrist into gold glitter. It disappeared before it could land on the beach or his body, fluttering away on the salty wind as a butterfly or crystalfly would.
Xiao's breathing evened as he felt the sand cool and wet between his toes, smelling of the sea and whatever lurked and lived in it, and sticking to his feet like mud.
(Like karmic debt.)
The air was nice and rejuvenating, making him feel somewhat lighter, his burdens falling away from his shoulders with every grain of sand that filtered through the gaps between his fingers, which were connected to the gloveless hands he had buried into the ground, clawing up handfuls of sand.
Waves lapped at his feet, caressing them with their soft weight, not slamming into him like the other rougher waves further out. Sand and salt stuck to him, drying in the sunlight and paleing as time inched on, his mouth growing briny and his body becoming gritty.
A seashell bumped against his hand as another wave rolled in.
It was a vaguely heart-shaped seashell with black, white, and bluish bands encircling it, quite different from the starconches that usually littered the beach, and Xiao hummed as he lifted it up from the water and against the sun.
His fist tightened around it, and his arm returned to his side while his other hand absentmindedly drew in the wet, darkened sand.
Xiao drew a heart, but the wet sand made drawing harder, for it just made drawn things disappear, barely an impression left from where his finger had traced the shape in, only a tiny outline left that got washed away.
He frowned, standing up and walking away from the damper parts of the seashore to reach drier sand, his footprints leaving faint imprints in the sand and then disappearing from the constant push and pull of the ocean.
Once he found a suitable patch of pale sand, his finger returned to drawing a somewhat lopsided heart, and subconsciously he wrote Lohen's name next to it.
Then, a large wave crashed into Xiao's crouched form, and he sputtered, wiping the saltwater from his face with his hands as he shook his head vigorously, glaring all the while.
When he peeked at the sand where the heart and name were, he saw that both were gone, washed away completely and replaced by a smooth tan canvas.
Huh...
He stood up, his hands shaking slightly as he looked into the glittering ocean, the jolly laughter of the other Allogenes and the crashes of the tide nothing but white noise to him.
Xiao brought his arm back, and he threw the heart-like seashell into the sea, gazing at the distant splash it made as it hit and made contact with the waters, the waves quickly covering it up.
Of course, it would sink below the horizon, and then would be forgotten.
But a wish, surely they are forever, right?
A seagull flew above him, completely silent, only the sound of its flapping wings joining the music of the world.
(Is freedom death, or is death freedom?
Is Lohen free?)