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seonghwa was kneeling on the floor of what was once jina's room, surrounded by cardboard boxes, packing tape, and a string of memories that unraveled with every object his hands touched. eight years. eight years lived in that house, their first house as a family. and now, with the move approaching, every corner seemed to ask for one last glance, one last pause.
jina was beside him, legs crossed, helping sort what was going to the new house and what was going to donations. she wore a little yellow dress hongjoong had picked out the week before, and her hair was up in two crooked pigtails that seonghwa himself had done that morning. he was very good with her hair, and jina loved it when omma did it.
"does this go to donations, omma?" she asked, holding up a dress that no longer fit her.
"that one does, jiji. you're already too big for it."
"oh~ i'm growing too fast, aren't i?"
seonghwa smiled, pulling her in for a kiss on the top of her head.
"way too fast, bunny."
she went back to rummaging through things, humming a melody she'd just made up, a habit she'd inherited from hongjoong, who turned the most ordinary moments into songs. seonghwa closed his eyes for a moment, letting himself be lulled by that sound. then he reached into a dusty box, pulling out a stuffed bear, a storybook, a tiny kitten onesie. he smiled softly. the uncles had been so over-the-top back then.
then his fingers brushed against a soft leather cover, worn by time. he furrowed his brow and pulled the object from the box. it was a notebook. on the cover, in the delicate handwriting he himself had had nine years ago, were the words:
letters to my bunny
seonghwa felt his chest tighten. he stayed still, the notebook in his hands, his eyes tracing those words as if reading a treasure map, because that's exactly what it was. a treasure. almost nine years stored away, forgotten at the bottom of a box, waiting for the right moment to be found.
"omma~?"
jina's little voice brought him back. she was beside him, tilting her head, curious.
"what's that?"
seonghwa blinked. he felt a warmth rise through his chest, a mix of nostalgia, love, and an overwhelming urge to cry. he smiled a trembling smile and ran his hand over the notebook's cover, as if caressing a fragile jewel.
"this..." he began, his voice a little hoarse. "this is a very special notebook, jina"
"special how?"
he shifted on the floor, his back against the wall, and motioned for her to come closer. jina didn't hesitate, she climbed onto his lap just like she'd done since she was a baby, fitting into the space between his crossed legs, her little hands resting on the notebook.
"when you were still in omma's belly," seonghwa touched his own belly, and jina giggled softly, as she always did when he told this part, "your appa and i started writing letters to you. every time something important happened, we wrote. for you to read someday."
jina's little eyes widened. they were hongjoong's eyes, small and curious.
"letters to me?"
"just to you, bunny."
she ran her small fingers over the letters on the cover, tracing the outline of each word with solemn concentration.
“letters to bunny," she read very slowly, sounding it out. "that's me, right? i'm bunny?"
seonghwa laughed, his eyes welling up without permission.
"you are, you've always been our bunny. from the very first day."
jina looked at him with an expression halfway between confused and amazed.
"but omma! i was still in your belly. how did you write letters to me?"
"i wrote and saved them. for when you grew up, when you could understand."
she was looking at the notebook, the worn covers, the pages yellowed at the edges. then she lifted her face and asked, her small voice full of hope:
"will you read them to me?"
seonghwa felt his heart collapse and rebuild itself in the same second. he kissed his daughter's forehead, lingering, breathing in the smell of the baby shampoo they'd used forever.
"read? now?"
"now. please, omma?"
"but the move, my love... the boxes..."
she shook her head, determined.
"the boxes can wait! appa can help us later! i want to hear the letters." she asked, eyes bright with curiosity “pretty please?”
seonghwa hugged her tighter, discreetly sniffling. she was eight years old and already knew that stories were more important than boxes. he opened the notebook to the first page.
"alright, bunny. let's read them together."
"did appa already read them?" she asked, suddenly.
"he did. he wrote some of them too. but this first one is mine."
jina settled better into his lap, resting her head against her omma’s chest. seonghwa took a deep breath and began to read, his voice choked up from the very first sentence.
little bunny - first letter
my little bunny,
today we found out about you. and after a hug from your appa, i almost broke in little pieces.
i spent so long doubting love, myself, my future. but your appa kept me showing me, patiently, that i deserve good things. and now i have you, my dream.
we cried, your appa hold my belly, still so tiny, and said that you are our miracle. and i believe him, because his love never lies.
thank you for coming, little bunny. we waited for you our whole lives.
with all my love,
omma hwa.
little bunny - your first ultrasound
my bunny,
today was your first ultrasound. what a weird and wonderful thing. we were so nervous, your appa squeezed my hand harder than i expected.
the doctor pointed at something tiny and said a bunch of words that we still didn't understand. and we also heard your heart! it was a moment full of tears, happy ones.
we put one little picture of you on our fridge. everytime i pass by, i have to stop and smile. im learning to be your omma, but i love you so much, my little bean.
with all my heart,
omma.
seonghwa finished reading and looked at his daughter. her little eyes fixed on the page, her lips pressed together as if she were holding back a question.
“what is it, love?”
“i was really, really tiny?”
“you were, really, really tiny”
then, she furrowed her brow.
“and you already loved me?”
“yes, me and your appa. since the beginning”
“hm..” she thought for a moment. “how could you love me if you didn't know me?”
seonghwa smiled, his eyes welling up.
“because, my bunny, i dreamed about a sweet little girl just like you, for a long time, and i already knew you from my sweetest dreams”
jina smiled and nodded.
“read the next one, please!”
little bunny - 2 months
hi little bunny,
it's your appa here.
it's been two months since you are in yours omma belly.
you are so tiny…
but now your omma gets sick from everything. coffee? runs to the bathroom.
my perfume? his enemy number one. i’m getting used to wear unscented clothes and everything, but we don't mind.
every wave of nausea means you're here, growing strong.
the funny part, my baby, is that this week, the only thing your omma could eat is plain bread! sometimes during the night he awakes me and ask for a bread. watching him nibble the corner of the bread with his sleepy little face is one of the most beautiful things i’ve ever seen. he looks like a bunny too.
i always knew i loved your omma. but watching him carry you woke a new kind of love in me. right now, he is asleep, he looks so tired…but is right beside me with his hand on his belly.
i’m the luckiest man in the world.
let's take care of your omma, alright? go easy on him, let him eat his bread in peace, bunny.
with love,
appa joongie.
little bunny - months 3 & 4
my little bunny,
we are past the third month. the nausea finally gave me a break, thank you! but now, all i can do is cry. at everything.
commercials, your dad singing, socks that doesn't match…your appa don't even ask why anymore. he just holds me and say “it's okay, sweetheart”. bunny, you're gonna love your appa hugs.
we are in the fourth month. my belly is real now, not just that shy little curve only your appa and i noticed.
and, ohh my sweet bunny: you moved. in the middle of the night, something light, almost like an inside tickle. I held my breath and waited, and there it was again. a tiny little nudge.
i was so happy, and cried, and shook you appa awake! he woke scared, poor alpha…he put his hand on my belly an waited, we were so quiet, you took your time and then you kicked right into his palm.
my baby…i spent so long thinking family was something fragile, that love slipped through your fingers. but you and your appa show me every day that family is this: a hand on the belly, shining eyes, "it's okay" and plain bread at three a.m.
i'm happy, bunny. so happy it barely fits inside me.
with all my overflowing love,
omma.
little bunny - 5 months
my sweet bunny,
a girl, you are a girl.
it still doesn't feel real.
the doctor told us “it's a girl” and seems like the whole world stopped for a few seconds
your appa squeezed my hand so hard my fingers went white, and stayed in silence for a while, and then said “that's our little girl”
after the ultrasound, he hugged me right there in the middle of the street. then he pulled away, held my shoulders, and looked at me with that intense expression he gets. "i'm buying a pink guitar for her, she's learning music from the cradle." and i laughed so hard. imagining you, tiny bunny, with a guitar bigger than your whole body.
but you know what really got me? imagining you, years from now, running through the house, with your laughter filling every room. i can't help but wonder, will you have your dad's eyes, deep and dark brown? or mine? his smile?
you will be so loved, bunny. you will be respected, heard, held, encouraged. you can be whoever you want. you can have your pink guitar if you like…or a sword, a ball, a book, whatever your heart desires.
my daughter. our daughter. my greatest dream come true.
with the deepest love in the universe,
omma.
seonghwa closed his eyes for a moment, remembering the sidewalk outside the clinic, hongjoong's hug in the middle of the street, the pink guitar that never came to be because jina, at four years old, had decided she preferred the drums.
“appa really wanted to buy a pink guitar?"
"he did. he was already planning everything."
"i didn't know." she bit her lip, thoughtful. "i chose drums and he never even mentioned the guitar!"
"because he wanted you to choose whatever made you happy, bunny”
jina stayed silent, then, quietly:
“you and appa said i could be whoever i wanted. it's written right here.'"
"and we meant it, every single word."
she traced the sentence with her finger, slowly, as if she were storing it somewhere very special inside herself.
"you know, omma..." she began, her voice a little choked. "sometimes at school there are boys who say girls can't play soccer, or that we have to like pink."
"oh…and what do you say?"
"i always said that my appa told me i can like whatever i want." she lifted her chin, proud. "now i can say it's written down, since before i was born."
seonghwa smiled, his heart overflowing.
"you are so precious, my jina”
she nestled back into his lap.
"i think i'm gonna give appa a really big hug when he comes home."
"he'll love that”
little bunny - 6 months
hi my jina,
jina, that's your name.
i'm still getting used to calling you that! for months you were my bunny (you still are) but now you have a name.
your appa was the one that chose it, he said it means "precious," "treasure." and you are, our most precious treasure.
have I ever told you about your uncle's?
uncle yun and uncle min arrived today at our house with a blanket so soft i almost cried just touching it to my face, and a noisy toy that your dad already threatened to confiscate before you're even born. and then your uncle min laughed that big laugh and said, "it's for when she wants to wake her appa up at night." that's uncle min, jina. giant on the outside, a child on the inside.
uncle san and uncle woo came too! they said they're going to be your "favorite uncles" and already started competing. they brought you a little kitten onesie and a storybook, uncle san said he'll read to you everytime he has a chance. you'll love them, my baby, they're chaotic, loud, and full of love.
uncle yeo and uncle jong too! they brought you a star projector, so you won't be afraid of the dark with a beautiful melody that uncle jong made himself! isn't it so sweet, bunny?
your family is big, jina, not just me and your appa. there's your uncles ready to love, protect and spoil you. some are loud, some are quiet, but all of them already get a sparkle in their eyes when they talk about you.
and here I am, hand on my belly that's truly round now, feeling you kick as i write. do you already know you're loved? can you feel it? because it's so much love, bunny. too much love.
jina, i can't wait to see you.
with all the love in the world and more,
omma.
Jina — 7 Months
my jina,
appa is here again.
seventh month and this one was hard, bunny.
your omma got sick, a really bad flu, the kind that knocks anyone down, he couldn't take much medicine, just rest, drink water, and endure. and he endured so bravely, jina. your omma is the strongest person i know.
for a whole week he stayed in bed, feverish, exhausted, and i split myself between fear and wanting to do everything right. i made him tea, changed cold compresses, watched his temperature, begged him to eat a little more. he kept saying, "i'm fine, joong, i just need to sleep." but i could see the exhaustion on his face, and it broke my heart not being able to take it away from him.
but you, jiji, you were so good~ while your omma was recovering, you kicked softly, like you understood she needed calm. one night i put my hand on his belly and you kicked three times, gently. it was like you were saying, "i'm here, appa. everything's okay."
and that week i finished your nursery! it was my way of taking care of both of you.
i built your crib, yes, me and that awful manual that looked like it wasn't in korean. i hung the little star mobile your omma picked out, put up the lavender curtains, folded every tiny outfit me, omma and your uncles brought and organized them in the dresser by color and size, your appa is a bit of a perfectionist, you'll learn.
your star projector uncle yeo and uncle jong gave you is installed right above the crib, and i already tested it. the whole ceiling became the sky, i lay on the floor of your nursery, alone, staring at those fake little stars, and i cried a little. not from sadness, my little girl, but from fullness.
after your omma got better, he walked into your nursery for the first time since i finished it. he stood at the door, hands over his mouth, eyes filling with tears. then he touched everything, stopped at your tiny bed, brushed his fingers over the sheet, looked up at the starry ceiling.
my jina, we're almost there. your omma is healthy again. strong and beautiful, my god, he’s so beautiful! and your nursery is ready, we're really just missing you.
with love and stars,
appa.
jina - 8 months.
my jina, my little bunny,
eight months, or as the doctor said, 37 weeks. that means you could arrive any moment. any moment, jiji. that thought takes my breath away in the best possible way!
this might be the last letter i write before i hold you in my arms. before i see your tiny face, your eyes, your little fingers…and that's why we're here: in your appa's hometown.
we traveled on purpose, bunny. it was his idea, he wanted you to know the place where he grow up, even if you are still in my belly. i said you wouldn't remember anything, that i was huge, that it was risky to travel so close to the birth. but he made that face, the doctor allowed us, and here we are!
and it was worth it. so worth it.
your grandparents' house is small and full of history. there are photos of your appa at every stage: chubby baby, scraped-knee little boy, messy-haired teenager. there's the smell of your grandma's apple cake, and she welcomed me with a hug so tight i laughed. your appa told her “be careful with jina!”, and she just squeezed us harder!
yesterday your appa took me to see the lake. the same where he made promises to himself when he was just a boy full of love to give and no one to receive it. we sat on a wooden bench facing the water, my hand on my belly, his hand over mine. the sun was setting. everything was orange and gold.
he told me that one of his promises to himself was to brought his family there one day, he also said that now he have me, and we have you.
i cried, jina. of course i cried. i’m your omma, i cry at everything, you already know. but this cry was different, it was a cry of gratitude. because your appa spent his whole life saving up love, waiting for us, and now we're here. the three of us, about to begin a whole life.
your grandma is filling me with advices, your grandpa is already dreaming of where he'll rock you, your appa catches me staring into space and asks what i’m thinking. "jina" i always answer. "just jina."
because it's true. i only think about you. about what your little face will look like, if you'll cry loudly or be quiet, if you'll love being held, if you'll recognize my voice and your appa's.
jina, if this really is the last letter before your birth, i want you to know one thing: you were wanted from the very first second, from before the first second, you were dreamed of by a father who saved up love his whole life and by a mother who finally learned he was worthy of receiving it.
you've already transformed our lives, bunny. and you're not even here yet.
so, my love, come when you're ready. because we're ready, the house is ready, the nursery is ready.
we're waiting for you with open arms.
with all the love that exists in this world and the next,
your omma and appa,
seonghwa and hongjoong.
seonghwa finished, the final words still hanging in the air.
jina didn't say anything for a long moment. she was curled up in his lap, her small eyes fixed on some invisible point in the empty room.
"bunny?"
she blinked, coming back from somewhere far away.
"you went to the lake," she said, her voice soft. "with me in your belly. appa's lake."
"i did."
jina smiled, but it was a different smile, softer, more intimate.
"i like grandma's house. there's apple cake and photos of appa when he was a kid too" she paused. "but i've never been to that lake, the one you talked about in the letter."
"that's right, we never been to that lake after you were born, not yet. but we can go."
"you promise?"
"i promise." she nodded, satisfied, and looked back at the notebook.
"you wrote that this could be the last letter before i was born."
"i did. i didn't know if there would be time to write more” he smiled, softer “but your appa wrote one more, and that was really the last one, is the longest one of all."
jina stayed quiet for another moment.
"omma, i'm a little scared to read that one."
seonghwa furrowed his brow, surprised.
"scared why, jiji?"
"because it's the last one." she lifted her eyes to him, and they were full of water. "after this one, it's over. there are no more letters."
seonghwa felt his chest tighten, he closed the notebook for a moment and held his daughter's face between his hands.
“jina, the letters may end, but our story doesn't. look at me." she obeyed. "you're here, my love, you're the continuation of every letter. every day with you is a new letter we write together, but instead of paper, we write it in life."
jina blinked, two thick tears rolling down.
"so the story isn't over?"
"it's only just beginning, bunny."
she sniffled, wiped her little nose with her hand, and looked at the notebook with renewed determination.
"then let's read it."
"are you sure?"
"i'm sure." she settled into his lap, her eyes still shining, but her chin held high. "i want to know how i arrived."
seonghwa kissed her forehead, his heart so full or love, then took a deep breath, and turned the page.
Welcome Kim Jina.
my jina,
you're here.
i'm writing this sitting in a horrible hospital chair, with your omma asleep in the bed beside me and you nestled against my chest. my hand is still shaking a little. my heart still hasn't returned to its normal size and i don't think it ever will.
it was a long labor, bunny. eighteen hours. your omma is the bravest. he held my hand so tight my fingers are still bruised, and i didn't let go for a single second. there was a moment when he looked at me, exhausted, tears streaming down, and said, "i can't do this, joong." i kissed his forehead, so sweaty, and answered, "you can. you're the strongest person i know. we're going to meet our daughter today." and then he did it.
when you finally came out, at 4:17 in the morning, the world stopped. i heard the most beautiful cry, it was a strong, determined cry. your omma collapsed into a wet laugh full of tears, arms stretched out to receive you. and you, jina, were put straight to his chest. you stopped crying, only in his arms, as if you already knew exactly where you belonged.
then it was my turn to hold you. and my god, jina. my god.
you are the most beautiful thing i've ever seen.
so tiny and chubby at the same time, i don't know how that's possible, but you are. your little body fits entirely in my forearm, but your cheeks are two little dumplings i can't stop kissing. you have barely any hair, just a little dark tuft right on top of your head, and your lips are perfectly round, just like your omma's. exactly the same. and your eyes? your tiny little eyes, scrunched up with sleep, are mine. you have my eyes, jiji. i cried so much when i realized that.
you also nurse so well, you latch on with strength, like you're in a hurry. and you also love being held. oh, how you love it! if they put you down in the bassinet, you fuss. but in someone's arms you melt, sigh, and fall asleep, we figured this out already. we've surrendered, you're going to be a baby who lives in someone's arms.
your paternal grandparents arrived in the morning. your grandma walked into the room, and said nothing, her eyes brimming with tears. your grandpa stood behind her, hands on his wife's shoulders. then he hugged me tight and whispered, "you're a father now, son." i nearly broke down right there.
your uncles were chaos. absolute chaos.
wooyoung and san arrived first, wooyoung literally ran through the hospital hallway and got scolded by the nurse. he looked at you and burst into tears. san wrapped his arms around him from behind, both of them crying together, and san said, "she's so tiny. so perfect."
yunho and mingi showed up with a stuffed bear bigger than you. much bigger. mingi placed the bear beside you in the little bed and you disappeared behind it. your omma laughed weakly and said, "you'll have to wait a few years to hug that one, jina."
yeosang and jongho were the last ones, yeosang approached slowly, looked at you with that calm only he has, and said, "hi, jina, i brought you stars, remember?" jongho stayed quieter, but he took your tiny hand with immense care and whispered, welcome, little one. we waited so long for you."
and your omma. oh, jina. your omma.
he's sleeping now, exhausted, but before he closed his eyes, he held you against his chest and whispered things i couldn't hear. things just between the two of you. then he looked at me, eyes shining, and said, "joongie, she's everything i always wanted and never had the courage to ask for." i kissed his forehead, and i kissed yours too.
i stayed awake all night, jina. not because i had to, because once you nursed, you slept so well. but i couldn't stop looking at you, at your omma, at this ordinary hospital room that suddenly became the most sacred place in the world.
i love you, my jina. i love you with a love that scares me and calms me at the same time. a type of love that didn't exist yesterday and today fills every cell of my body. and i love your omma. i love him more than ever, i love him for giving me you, for being strong, for trusting me, for existing.
this is the last letter in the notebook, bunny, at least for a while. you're here. real, warm, sweet-smelling and ours.
and i will never, ever forget this day. the love I felt, the love i will feel forever.
welcome to the world, my daughter.
welcome to our family.
we waited for you our whole lives.
with all the love a human heart is capable of carrying, and more,
appa and omma.
when seonghwa finished the last letter his voice was barely a thread. he closed the notebook slowly and looked at jina.
she was quiet again, but this time too quiet for an eight-year-old who usually talked a mile a minute. her small eyes were shining again, full of water, and her perfectly round little lips were trembling.
"omma..." she whispered.
"yes, bunny?"
"was i loved like that even before i was born?"
seonghwa let the tears fall, there was no holding them back. he held his daughter's small face between his hands and pressed his forehead to hers.
"you were, my love. you were, and are, the most loved thing in this world. from the very first second.”
she was silent for a moment. then, quietly:
"did appa cried when i was born?"
"so much. so did i."
jina sniffled, wiped her little nose with her hand, and then looked at the notebook with an expression seonghwa would never forget; a mix of gratitude, love, and understanding that didn't seem to fit in such a small child.
"i want to keep all the letters forever," she said, holding it against her chest.
"it's yours, my baby, it always has been."
"can we read it again another day? with appa too?"
"we can. whenever you want."
she smiled, her eyes still wet, and nestled back against seonghwa's chest.
"you know, omma..." she murmured, her voice suddenly sleepy. "i think this is the best box we found today."
seonghwa laughed softly, hugging her with all the strength love allowed.
"the very best, bunny. the very best.”
( ◜‿◝ )♡( ◜‿◝ )♡( ◜‿◝ )♡( ◜‿◝ )♡( ◜‿◝ )♡( ◜‿◝ )♡( ◜‿◝ )♡
hongjoong came home late. work at the studio had stretched longer than he expected, and every traffic light on the way seemed to conspire against his hurry to get back. he wanted home. he wanted jina, and he wanted seonghwa.
he opened the door, labeled boxes were stacked in the living room and some furniture had already disappeared from their usual places, leaving marks on the floor and a strange emptiness. but the hallway light was on, and there was silence. a good silence, the kind that means someone has already been cared for and is resting.
he dropped his backpack on the couch and walked toward the master bedroom. the door was ajar.
the bed was still there, untouched, their room would be one of the last to be dismantled, and hongjoong felt a pang of gratitude for that. the lamp was on and on the bed were his two favorite people in the world.
seonghwa was reclined against the pillows, his body relaxed, his hair still slightly damp from the shower. he wore a loose, soft t-shirt, and the scent that rose from him was that natural scent hongjoong knew better than any perfume, clean, warm, home. one of seonghwa's hands slowly stroked jina's hair.
and jina. the girl was lying on her side, nestled against her omma's chest, wearing a pajama set with a bunny print. freshly bathed, sweet-smelling, clean, her little face relaxed in the deepest sleep. the pigtails had been undone, and the fine dark strands spread across the pillow. one of her small hands, even in sleep, still held the edge of seonghwa's shirt.
hongjoong stood in the doorway for a moment, his chest so full it ached. he loved that sight. loved it with an intensity that frightened him even after all these years.
he approached slowly, his feet silent on the carpet. he rounded the bed and leaned over jina first. he kissed his daughter's forehead, breathing in the scent of the baby shampoo.
"hi, my bunny," he whispered, even knowing she wouldn't hear. "appa's home."
then he leaned toward seonghwa, who was watching him with a tired and tender smile. he kissed his lips slowly, one hand resting on the nape of his husband's neck.
"hi, sweetheart," he murmured against his mouth.
"hi, love," seonghwa answered, his voice low so as not to wake jina. "long day?"
"it was. but it just got better."
hongjoong sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes going from his daughter to his husband. he stroked seonghwa's leg over the duvet.
"how was it here? i see the boxes made progress."
"they did," seonghwa smiled, but there was something more in his gaze. something bright. "we found something today."
"you did?"
"the notebook, with letters. letters to my bunny."
hongjoong felt his chest open up. he remembered, of course he remembered. sleepless nights writing, his hand on seonghwa's belly, tears smudging the ink. he smiled, a smile that came from somewhere very deep.
"where was it?"
"in an old box, in jina's room. i didn't even remember we had kept it there.”
"and she saw it?"
"she did, and she asked me to read it. she read it with me, everything, joong. every last letter. even yours."
the two looked at each other in silence. there were eight years of memories suspended between them, eight years of that love that had started as a speck of starlight and was now sleeping in their bed, in bunny pajamas, with a little hand clutching her father's shirt.
"did she cry?" hongjoong asked.
"so much. me too. she asked me..." seonghwa laughed softly, his eyes welling up again. "she asked me if she was loved like that even before born."
hongjoong exhaled slowly. he shook his head, amazed, and ran his hand through jina's hair, brushing a strand away from her face.
"that girl is going to kill me with love someday."
"no she won't," seonghwa whispered. "you can handle it, baby, you always have."
hongjoong stood, kissed seonghwa's forehead, and announced he was going to take a shower. seonghwa nodded, going back to stroking their daughter's hair, his hand in a steady, soothing rhythm.
the shower was quick. hongjoong let the warm water wash away the tiredness of the day and put on an old t-shirt and comfortable shorts. when he returned to the bedroom, he found seonghwa exactly as he had left him, only now with his eyes almost closed, almost asleep.
he lay down on the other side of jina, the three of them forming a sandwich of love on the still-intact bed, in the room that would soon be dismantled but was now only theirs.
but before settling in completely, hongjoong did something seonghwa knew well. he leaned over their sleeping daughter's body, reached out his hand, and touched seonghwa's belly beneath his shirt. the belly still flat, still smooth, holding a secret that only the two of them knew.
hongjoong bent down and pressed a kiss exactly there, over seonghwa's navel. a lingering kiss, full of intention.
"your family out here is beautiful, my littlest star," he whispered against the warm skin.
seonghwa smiled, that smile hongjoong loved, the smile that lit up any tiredness, any dark night, any doubt.
"we should get another notebook," seonghwa murmured, his hand moving to hongjoong's hair, stroking.
hongjoong lifted his face, his cheek resting on his husband's belly.
"another one?"
"a new one. to write to our little star,” he paused, his eyes shining. “and then we can tell our bunny about the baby”
hongjoong felt an immense warmth spread through his chest. he shifted upward, careful not to wake jina, and kissed seonghwa once. twice. three times.
"we'll buy a notebook tomorrow," he said, his voice choked up. "the most beautiful one we can find."
"to our little one, our star" seonghwa whispered.
and so, the three of them settled into bed. jina in the middle, protected, loved. seonghwa on one side, his hand on the belly where a new life was beginning. hongjoong on the other, his arm stretched over their daughter to touch his husband, their fingers interlaced over the duvet.
the house was half taken apart. the future was full of boxes and uncertainties and new things.
but there, in that room, everything was exactly as it should be.