Chapter Text
Spoke’s POV:
Losing the only person you truly care about is the thing that hurts the most. After losing Mapicc, Spoke truly had nothing left to live for. No one to wake up to, no one to talk to— nothing. He blamed JamatoP; he knows it was all Jamato's fault, or at least that's what he thinks. But deep down, the wrongs that he did weren’t Jamato’s fault. In everyone else’s eyes. Jamato didn’t even persuade him to do any of it. It was all Spoke's fault.
He couldn't keep living like this. Couldn't keep living without his best friend. He did it once, and he almost blew up the Capital city. He needed to end this.
He walked through the dense forest of spruce trees, occasionally passing by a fallen one with fungi growing from it. He didn’t know where he was going, didn’t care either. Every step he took, he looked behind him, a small gesture he picked up after the Null snuck up behind him one too many times. The birds went silent as he walked by, his white eyes searching the trees. He was never used to the quiet. It was either bickering with Jumper or talking to Mapicc, but they both hate him now. Both left him for Jamato, which was something he would've never thought of. Everyone had their duo. Parrot with Theo, Wemmbu with Eggchan, Flame with Lomedy, and Spoke with Mapicc. Well, at least not anymore. He kept walking, though. He needed to go somewhere. Some place where he knows he won’t bother anyone.
He trips over a root he never noticed, falling to the ground with a loud thump. The birds fly away, seemingly uneasy after his fall. Spoke groans before sitting up. His once bright rainbow bands and clean, slick black sweat suit were now covered in what seemed to be mud and grass from today’s earlier rainfall. If only someone were here to help me up. He thought. Instead of standing, he curled into a ball-shaped position and sat there. In that mud. In the despair that had seemed to be wafting off of him in waves since the cave. Since Mapicc broke his chestplate. Since he left him. Why am I here? He thought as his head fell back against the tree. The sky was barely noticeable because the branches and leaves from the trees were blocking it. It almost seemed like night. Except he knew it wasn’t. Or he thought it wasn’t. He looked at his hands. The hands that killed Jamato. The scarred and rough hands that almost blew up the Capital City. The hands that once high-fived Mapicc’s. The ones he hugged his closest friends with when everything was okay. Was he really a monster? Or were all of his decisions misjudged?
He finally stood, walking slower and more sluggish now. He didn’t realise it earlier, but Mapicc nicked him right on the back after the chestplate broke, and now he's bleeding. He didn’t care, though; never did. He just kept walking.
He kept walking until he reached the end of the dense part of the forest, where the trunks thin and you can actually see the sun. It was bright. Too bright for Spoke right now. It was almost like the sun was mocking him because of how bright it was. He hated it. As he searched for a denser part, he stopped. Right beneath him, he found a river. It looked somewhat deep, deep enough where you would have to know how to swim. For Spoke? He never learned, being a voidling and all.
He took a deep breath as he looked down at it. I can end it all. He thought. End the suffering, leave King Parrot, the law, Jamato, all the burdens— and Mapicc. Bury it with him. He can leave all of it right then and there. It would be a simple death. Not heroic, or even villain like, just a quiet way to go. He could drown, it seemed better than getting stuck with Null for the rest of eternity.
He dipped his foot into it. It was cold, colder than water he’s used to. He sighed, sitting at the edge of the river and staring into it. He saw himself, but it didn’t look like him. Not his happy, jokeful self, but a shell of the person he used to be. You did this to me. He thought. He blames Jamato, even though half the reason his life is in shingles is because of him. ‘You have ruined your life better than I ever could have.’ Jamato said to him. It was true, he helped ruin his life, Jamato just took the last push, turning his friends against him in his own little manipulative plan. I need to end this now.
And with one last breath.
He dived.
You POV:
You don’t know why you're out here. In this forest. Was it because of the war? Maybe all of the orbital strikes hitting too close to home? Or because something called you out here? You look around, following a small, dirt path through the dense forest, occasionally finding footprints that seem to be old.
You hop a log and continue walking, as you smell the breeze you think to yourself. How come the forest seemed so tense? You always had a way with nature, as if you can feel mother nature's own heartbeat. So when something felt wrong— even in the smallest ways— you knew.
It didn't occur to you what could've happened until you saw blood. It was more of a path and it seemed new, so you followed it. It could’ve led to a hurt animal or something worse, but in that case, you could help it. The blood path led to a tree. It was a big tree, with a thick trunk and lots and lots of branches that covered the sky. It felt droopy over here, at least you felt droopy. You felt more sluggish and not in the best mindset. But you knew that was probably the forest magic— if it was magic that is. You decide to stop looking at the tree and instead look around for more drops of blood, but you find none. You sigh and decide to just keep following the path before you catch something out of the corner of your eye.
No. Not something, someone. You immediately knew who it was. SpokeIsHere. With his sweatpants and rainbow headband. You hadn’t seen him since LettuceK ruled over the server. Now he’s just here? Something wasn’t adding up.
He looked peaceful from far away, but being the person you are, you had a feeling something was wrong. Where was his best friend, Maypic? Or better than that, where has he been and why is he in this forest? He sat near something, a river, you assumed. He had no armor on either which was strange to see, especially everything happening right now.
You decide to start walking that way, half tempted to call out his name. Then again, you didn’t feel like yelling across a forest. He suddenly stood and you paused. Has he heard you? Was he going to come over here and talk or run? He didn’t turn around, he just stood there. Staring, not at you, but the water. It was almost like he was in a haze, like it wasn't the real SpokeIsHere staring into that river.
You pick up the pace, suddenly feeling a shift in the air. Maybe it was the wind picking up, or that in just a few seconds you would watch as Spoke dived into that cold river. That you would watch as the water swallowed him whole as soon as he hit it.
You froze for an ounce of a second before sprinting. You don't remember jumping in after. You don't remember the pain your body was in from dragging his weak body out of the water. But you remember giving him CPR, from what you saw, he swallowed lots of water, so much that you didn't know if you could save him.
“Please..” you begged as you pumped his chest and used your mouth to give air back into the lungs of Spoke. “Stay with me, you idiot.” Why would he do this to himself? You thought as you continued to give him CPR. A single tear slipped from your eye before you quickly blinked the rest away. “Wake up, you idiot…” You mumbled, “you're not dying.” Suddenly, Spoke's body jolted into a sitting position, coughing up the water that was flowing into his lungs. Your eyes widen at the sight. Spoke lived. You saved him..
Spoke, still coughing up water, slowly began to open his eyes and take in the scenery, his eyes slowly moving to your face. He didn't say anything. Didn't say thank you or smile or cry, he looked numb. He felt numb, so much that when he did start crying, he didn't notice. It made your chest ache.
You slowly wrapped your arms around him, thinking he would push you away.
He didn't, but he didn't engage in the hug or anything. He just sat there. Starring at you. “You almost died…” You whispered in his ear, hugging him tighter when he didn't respond. What happened to him..? You thought of SpokeIsHere, a reckless jokester who is a funny but a dangerous player, duping things that shouldn't be duped and never taking anything seriously. Then you look at this Spoke, this broken, numb, hurt player who you used to be friends with. You sighed before letting go of him.
He still cried silently, but his eyebrows were burrowed inward, which was some emotion other than numbness. He looks away from you, slowly wiping his eyes before looking down at his broken clothes. His shorts were torn, along with his headband which he had no idea where it was right now. He looked broken. “Say something, dammit..” you confided to Spoke. “I need to hear you say something. Anything!”
Spoke slowly looked up at you. Eyes bloodshot, tired, and whispered something. “Why… why did you save me…?”
“Why…?” You blurted, taken aback at his question. “You're just talking and now you're asking why I saved you?” You grabbed his shoulders and brought his face close to yours. “I didn't want you to die. I couldn't let you die.” You gasped out. “You may want to die but I don't. And Parrot doesn't and PlanetLord… And Mapicc— your best friend.”
Spoke stared at him and frowned slightly. “Yeah well.. mapicc is gone. Im done with him.. h-he hates me and-and i don't deserve—” Spoke cut himself off. He felt a breakdown coming soon, and if he didn't want to break down in front of you, he couldn't keep talking about Mapicc, about Jamato or anything. He wished you never saved him.
“Spoke… I can't let you do this to yourself…” you began, “You deserve to live. Maybe not with the people you wanted to but you deserve to live. Just as much as the next guy over. You are caring, kind, sacrificial… you put yourself in situations that could get you killed just to make your friends happy or satisfied… I just… you can't die…”
Spoke's eyes widened at your tiny speech. He hated being put into the situation when it came to this stuff, but… he didn't mind. Her speech… It helps something.
“It.. hurt so much…” Spoke started. “He trusted Jamato over his own bestfriend… he broke my armor… forced me to run.. jabbed me—”
“Where?” You cut him off, backing up so you could see his whole body. You started skimming his torn clothes. He looked down at his clothes as well. His shorts and top had pieces of fabric gone from them getting caught on numerous objects and his headband was nowhere to be found. “Where did he hit you?”
“It was an accident… he didn't hit me he just.. nicked me…” he assured, maybe to you or to himself. “Well, where did he nick you?” You asked again. “And if it was just a nick, why did you leave a trail of blood to that tree? That was the only reason I found you I just—... I didn't know it was you.”
“It's on my back… I think in the middle somewhere…” Spoke revealed, “But don't look.. it's fine… I'm fine.”
You scoff and roll your eyes, “bullshit, you're not okay and I need to look at it– even if I can't clean it or anything right now.” she sits up and scoots over to his back. “Im gonna try to be as careful, okay?” Her voice softens as her hands find the bottom of his sweatshirt.
Spoke closed his eyes, nodding stiffly before letting out a quiet yes.
She lifts up the bottom of the shirt and gasps. There was a pretty deep gash around the middle of his chest on the right side. Definitely infected, you thought as you slowly pulled the shirt down. “Can you walk?”
“uh… with a little help yeah..” he mutters. You came up in front of him and offered him your hands, which he gratefully grabbed as you pulled him up. “cmon, I have a secret base that's not too far away.”