Chapter Text
Gai was certain, if you asked Kakashi, he would say Gai’s tastes in bed were… vanilla. Virginal. It was Kakashi who wanted to push the limits, begging him to try new things- outgoing things, “sexual adventures” as he put it, things that sometimes made Gai raise his eyebrows in surprise or bite his lip in hesitation.
No one, not even his closest friend, his lover, would say Gai was even remotely kinky.
They were all wrong.
It was his secret shame. Something he only indulged himself in when Kakashi was away on missions- long missions, when he was certain he wouldn’t be back anytime soon.
Gai loved being tickled.
It was one of the only things that made him bitterly jealous of Kakashi’s shadow clone abilities. Kakashi could simply conjure a clone to do unspeakable things to him whenever he wanted. Gai had to settle for civilian porn and fantasies, and the occasional red faced shame of tracing long feathers over his own skin, eternally frustrated at the lack of ticklishness which made the act more teasing than gratifying, more humiliating than satisfying.
He wished he could have just been normal. Had a normal kink like choking or masochism or blood, something manlier, something that wasn’t as humiliating. Gai knew Kakashi would laugh at him if he ever found out. Would tease him for being so soft (and not in a sexy way).
Which is why he kept it private, his own personal torment, denying himself the one thing that turned him on beyond comprehension, which, coincidentally, could only be given by another.
Civilian porn was a small consolation. He’d discovered, while exploring this new internet, that others shared his taste. Lots of others. There was a whole array of websites dedicated to tickle torture, circulating videos that made Gai’s heart race and his cock throb. Some tiny voice inside him whispered that “maybe it wasn’t so weird, if there were enough other people who shared his desires for there to be entire websites-” but he pushed it down.
He’d been this way for as long as he could remember. Since before he had words for it. Before he knew what a kink was. He could remember the strange heat that spread through his body as a child when his classmates would tickle each other, the way it made his face burn, how he wanted to run away or close his eyes. It wasn’t until he was a teenager, and Genma and Ebisu had pinned him down on the training field and tickled him until he screamed for mercy did he realize what it was.
The memory still made him shiver, and brought a wave for shame with it, for feeling sexual gratification from something his teammates would deem innocent. He’d thankfully been face down, and wearing very tight underwear at that, or else Genma and Ebisu would have seen his raging erection. He still wondered if they’d noticed the flush on his face was from more than just exertion, his breathlessness, the way he pressed his face against the cold earth and shuddered when they were finished with him.
They’d been so cruel. Genma had sat on his back and dug his fingers into Gai’s armpits, hands burrowed beneath his arms, which were desperately pinned to his sides, effectively trapping his teammates hands, and kneaded and poked at his flesh until Gai’s laugh was high pitched and strained. At the same time, Ebisu was crouched behind him, delicate fingers pinching Gai’s soft waist, sneaking underneath to prod at his hips and stomach, heedless of Gai’s flailing legs which kicked and struggled in vain. All the while they had laughed and teased him for being so weak, so ticklish, and Gai had been helpless to do anything but howl with laughter and take it.
It was humiliating. It was torment. It was the most turned on he’d ever been in his life. Afterwards, they left him in the dirt, and Gai had waited until they were gone to sneak into the bushes and stroke himself to completion, face burning with shame, cumming so hard he saw stars and biting his lip to contain his pathetic noises.
After that, he knew what he was.
A freak.
He was so ashamed, so disgusted with himself, and yet… He couldn’t stop himself from fantasizing about it happening again, with other people, in other ways. He would lie awake, alone in his apartment, hand thrust down into his boxers and face buried in the pillow, as if he could hide from himself, and conjure a thousand different scenarios.
Sometimes it was abstract. Inanimate objects. Sentient vines, tentacles, ghostly phantom hands. Other times it was more realistic, albeit a bit far fetched. An enemy genjutsu, or interrogation. His friends, playing a cruel prank.
His rival, issuing him a challenge.
Now, he had the internet. And websites, with videos catered to his tastes. Naked men and women bound and stretched taught, exposed, while captors hands roamed their bodies, using fingers and feathers and hairbrushes with oil to make them writhe and scream in ticklish agony.
And this was how he found himself being 28 years old, nervously drawing the curtains closed to his bedroom, sinking into the chair at the desk him and Kakashi kept pushed into the corner, and opening their shared laptop with shaky hands.
Kakashi had left for a mission two days ago. He wasn’t due back for another week. His mission was in the land of iron, and it would take him several days to reach the small nation. There was no chance of him coming home early, he wasn’t even there yet. Gai was alone, and able to finally indulge himself.
He was careful to open a new window before typing in the website’s address, eyes roaming the screen as various thumbnails appeared. He was already filling out his boxers, just the anticipation of what he was about to watch was enough to get him turned on.
A thumbnail caught his eye, of a man tied to an X frame, naked, and another man kneeling between his legs. He clicked on it.
The video opened up to full size, and Gai lowered his hand to his crotch, giving himself a firm squeeze through his sweatpants. He wanted to savor this.
There was some small talk, as there usually was. The unbound man walked slowly around the X frame, dragging his hands lovingly over the man’s taught body. The bound man was lean and muscular, attractive, and his half hard cock hung between his legs. He squirmed at the hands roaming his skin, lovingly caressing his waist, his stomach, his chest.
His captor attacked. Just a small pinch at his waist, a tease really, but still the bound man yelped and jerked away. His captor laughed, coming to stand behind him, out of view, and pinching his other side. Again the bound man gasped and pulled away. But he could barely move, his arms were bound tight above him, his ankles similarly fastened to the X frame in a way that left him completely exposed.
Gai bit his lip as the captors hands traced light touches up the victims waist to his ribs, then back down, making him tug at his restraints and whimper. Without warning, he attacked, both hands digging into his sides and kneading the flesh, making his victim shriek and thrash wildly on the frame. His hands drilled into his sides without mercy, gliding up to press just below his ribs before running back down to his hips. When his hips were squeezed, the bound man howled and thrashed like a fish caught in a net, all the while his captor laughing at his suffering.
“I think we found a good spot!” Came the tormentors voice through the video. The tied man gasped and cackled, dragging in ragged breaths as he was allowed a small break, the other man pacing around to kneel in front of him.
“What’s wrong?” His captor teased, poking at his hip bones. The tied man screamed, jerking his hips back and forth and making his cock bounce and swing wildly between his legs. He couldn’t even get a word out, his face flushed and red, shining with sweat, muscles in his arms bunching as he pulled against the ropes that held him.
Gai groaned, slipping his cock free of his boxers and sweatpants, giving it a lazy tug.
“Aw, that looks like it tickles!” The man teased again, hands dipping down to his victims inner thighs, pinching the tender muscle there. The bound man shrieked something that sounded like “no”, thrashing side to side in an attempt to dislodge the hands that assailed him. “Tickle tickle!” His captor cooed, and Gai shuddered, stroking himself from base to tip.
“Well, well.” Kakashi’s voice came from behind him, and Gai felt his heart skip a beat in his chest, hands darting forward to slam the laptop shut with more force than was necessary.
“This is a sight I never thought I’d see.” Kakashi said with a chuckle. Gai’s heart pounded away in his chest, and he fought his rising panic, quickly tucking his now softening manhood back into his pants. A cold sweat began to form at his neck and temples, and he trained his eyes forward, his mind blank with terror.
“You’re early.” He croaked, voice coming out high pitched and strained. The floorboards behind him creaked softly as Kakashi stepped closed, leaning over him.
“We had to turn around.” He murmured. “Idate got sick. He couldn’t stop puking his guts up. Poor guy.” Kakashi rested his hands on Gai’s shoulders. “What’s the matter? Aren’t you happy to see me?” He teased.
Gai shook his head, then nodded, swallowing hard. “I just- uh, wasn’t expecting you.” He said quietly, forcing his voice to sound even.
“I can see that.” Kakashi chuckled. His hands on Gai’s shoulder slid down, over his biceps, down to his hands. Kakashi’s face was directly beside his now, his hands lightly covering Gai’s.
“I have to say- I’m awfully curious about what has Might Gai masturbating.” Kakashi purred. “What are you watching?”
Gai’s vision narrowed to a small circular area, the edges going dark. His heart felt like it was going to pound out of his chest, and a strange, lightheaded feeling was slowly creeping over him. His mouth went dry, his breaths became shallow, and he froze, his grip on the laptop tightening.
“Gai?” Kakashi asked softly. His hands released their hold on his own, returning to his shoulders, which were beginning to shake. He felt his eyes burning, tears forming quickly as he realized what he had with Kakashi was likely over now. Kakashi was going to see how much of a freak he really was, and there was no going back.
“Gai?” Kakashi asked again, leaning forward more to look at his face. “Whoa, hey!” He said, coming around to kneel in front of him, gently gripping his biceps. “Hey, I’m sorry. Wow, this is not the reaction I was going for. What’s wrong?”
Gai continued to stare forward, unable to look at his lover, who had apparently already shed his vest and sandals and was kneeling in front of him with a tender expression on the visible half of his face.
“Gai? Look at me, baby. What’s wrong?” Kakashi said softly, shaking him gently. Gai finally forced himself to meet Kakashi’s gaze, the tears in his eyes threatening to fall as his lower lip trembled. The lightheaded feeling was increasing, and it was becoming difficult to breath. He sucked ragged, shallow breaths down that seemed to do nothing to ease the unbearable tightness in his chest.
“Okay, okay, lets just take a breather.” Kakashi said softly, raising a hand to caress Gai’s face. “Baby. Breathe.”
Gai sucked another terrible lungful of air down, and the tears gathering in his eyes finally spilled over, streaking down his cheeks as his whole body began to shake violently.
“Come here, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Kakashi soothed, standing and pulling Gai to his feet and drawing him toward the bed. “Lay down, I’ve got you.” Gai mechanically obeyed, gasping for air, tears dripping down his chin and onto his bare chest. Kakashi gently pushed Gai down until his head was on the pillow, then immediately crawled into the bed with him. He gathered Gai into his arms, pulling him tight against his chest and drawing the blankets up around him. His arms were tight around Gai’s body, and Gai closed his eyes, gasping, shaking, his heart still racing out of control.
“Just slow down.” Kakashi murmured against his temple, turning on his side with Gai wrapped in his arms, cocooning him in blankets. Kakashi threw a leg over Gai’s own, the weight making Gai feel like he might sink into the mattress like it was butter. Kakashi’s one arm was wound tight around Gai’s shoulders, his bicep under Gai’s cheek, and the other was holding the back of his head, running his fingers through his hair.
Gai sobbed. His body shuddered. Kakashi shushed him softly, kissing the side of his face as Gai wrapped his arms around Kakashi and knotted his fingers in Kakashi’s shirt.
“Easy now.” Kakashi soothed. The hand in his hair wandered down to his back, lightly rubbing across his shoulders, dragging his nails across the skin. “I’m not mad baby. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” He murmured, pressing a litany of kisses against Gai’s face and hair.
Gai sobbed again, face buried in the crook of Kakashi’s neck.
“I’m sorry- I’m sorry-” He gasped out, tears soaking into Kakashi’s shirt.
“Shhhh, that’s enough. Everything is okay.” Kakashi said against his hair. “Let’s calm down. Big breaths baby.”
Gai nodded against Kakashi’s shoulder, forcing himself to pull a longer breath in despite his shaking, blowing it out slowly through his mouth.
“That’s it. You’re okay. I’m right here and I’ve got you.” Kakashi said softly, rubbing slow circles between his should blades.
Gai closed his eyes and focused on pulling slow, deep breaths in through his nose and out through his mouth, hands wound so tightly in Kakashi’s shirt his fingers were going numb.
They laid like that for awhile, Gai stubbornly keeping his eyes closed, and slowly his tears subsided, his heart slowing its frantic pace. Kakashi kept rubbing his back, occasionally carding his fingers through his hair, his steady heartbeat beneath Gai’s cheek a tether to reality.
“Gai?” Kakashi asked softly after several minutes of silence, giving him a gentle squeeze. Gai huffed a breath in response, keeping his face pressed into Kakashi’s neck.
“Look at me baby.” Kakashi pressed, attempting to gently pry Gai out of his hiding place in his shoulder.
Gai relented, knowing the conversation was inevitable, and allowed Kakashi to pull away far enough to see his face.
“Hey there.” He said softly, tapping Gai on the nose. “Are you feeling a little bit better?”
Gai nodded, averting his eyes. He couldn’t bear to see the look on Kakashi’s face when he realized what he was. What he liked.
“What happened baby?” Kakashi asked, eyes soft and full of worry. “Did I do something wrong?”
Gai shook his head, eyes darting up hesitantly before looking away again.
“You know, words are a thing.” Kakashi teased, bringing a hand up to cradle Gai’s cheek. His thumb traced across his cheekbone lovingly, tenderly, and the motion made Gai’s heart clench in his chest.
“I know.” Gai croaked. Kakashi smiled softly, leaning closer to press a kiss between Gai’s eyebrows, the fabric of his mask rough on Gai’s skin.
“Then talk to me.” He murmured against him, punctuating the thought with another chaste kiss. Gai leaned into the touch, biting his lip.
“It’s hard.” Gai whispered. Kakashi nodded with a small sigh.
“I didn’t mean to… Intrude.” He began slowly, pulling back again to look into Gai’s face, grey eyes hesitant with worry. “I got home early from my mission and wanted to sneak up on you. Like I used to , when we were kids. Honestly just to prove I could. I didn’t spy on you. Not once I realized what you were doing.”
Gai released a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, relief flooding through him knowing Kakashi hadn’t seen what he was watching.
“Is that why you panicked?” Kakashi asked gently. “You didn’t want me to see?”
Gai nodded, cursing himself as he felt his face heating up against his will.
“I’ve… never told anyone.” He whispered. He felt so exposed. “I don’t- I- I only… watch, when you’re gone.” He mumbled, stumbling over his words. Kakashi kept him fixed in his gaze, his face open and gentle.
“So… I’m guessing it’s… something we don’t usually do? If you have to wait for me to leave to watch it.”
Gai nodded again, squeezing his eyes shut.
“And you think I’m going to… judge you?” Kakashi asked slowly. Gai nodded dumbly, cheeks and ears burning.
“Its- weird.” He whispered. Kakashi smiled gently.
“It can’t be that weird.” He said with a smile. Gai shook his head.
“No- it is. Its weird.” he whined. “I don’t want you to think I’m a- a freak.” His heart ached as he said the last words, making him look away as his chest tightened again.
“Oh, c’mon.” Kakashi said with a wry smile. “Do you know who you’re talking to? I’m into all sorts of weird shit.”
“Not this.” Gai groaned. He pressed his face into Kakashi’s neck again, hands tightening in his shirt. “Please, can we just- pretend this never happened?” He said into Kakashi’s neck, eyes squeezed shut. “Please.”
Kakashi rubbed his back again, cooing at him as if he was a child.
“Baby.” Kakashi began gently. “You know I adore you. More than anyone. There’s nothing you could say to make that change.”
“Agree to disagree.” Gai grumbled under his breath. Kakashi chuckled, clearly having heard him.
“Look, Gai.” Kakashi pulled him away again, pressing their foreheads together and looking into his eyes. “I love you.” He whispered, and Gai’s eyes widened. Those words were so rare from Kakashi, he’d only heard them a handful of times before. Kakashi’s eyes crinkled at the corners in response, a soft pink coloring the visible parts of his cheeks.
“It’s true.” Kakashi said with a wink. “There’s nothing you could ever say or do to make that go away. And because I… love you, I accept every part of you. Even the weird stuff.”
Gai felt his heart flip in his stomach. Kakashi swallowed before continuing.
“And. I love having sex with you. I think you’re insanely hot. You are incredible in bed and you make all my wildest fantasies come true.” Gai felt his flush increasing, and stared wide eyed as Kakashi’s eyes flickered down to his lips and back again. “I want to return the favor. I want to make all your dreams come true. Even the sexual ones.” He spared another glance at Gai’s lips, leaning closer until they were only a breath apart before whispering-
“Especially the sexual ones.”
Gai swallowed back a whimper, immediately flooded with the mental image of Kakashi tickling him mercilessly, eyes crinkling in amusement at his agony-
He closed his eyes and shuddered, and Kakashi huffed a breath.
“See?” Kakashi whispered, so close Gai could feel his breath against his lips despite the mask. “Whatever you’re thinking right now. I could make that real for you.”
That was a tempting thought.
Kakashi’s thumb traced from his cheek to his lower lip, running over the soft skin and pressing gently, until Gai’s lips parted of their own accord. Kakashi watched him through hooded eyes as he pressed his thumb into Gai’s mouth, and Gai whined softly, closing his lips around Kakashi’s thumb and laving it with his tongue.
It wasn’t fair, really. Kakashi knew exactly how to push his buttons. He melted instantly for him, every time.
“Tell me.” Kakashi whispered. “Tell me what you need. I promise, your secrets are safe with me.”
Gai rolled his tongue around Kakashi’s thumb and considered the offer. It made his stomach clench in fear, but…
How many times had he fantasized about Kakashi indulging him? Tying him to the bed and torturing him with his hands and feathers and other wicked tools. It was a fantasy that made him cum embarrassingly fast, muffling his moans into his fist or a pillow.
And yet- the idea of saying it out loud, of the words “tickle me please” leaving his lips- it made him feel like someone poured ice water down his spine. It was unbearable. It filled him with terror. No matter how badly he wanted it, how curious he was for Kakashi’s reaction, Gai didn’t think he could overcome that fear. Not yet. Not for a long time.
Kakashi gently tugged his thumb from Gai’s mouth with a wet pop, smearing the remaining saliva messily over Gai’s lips.
“What do you say, baby? Are you gonna let me in on your secret?” Kakashi asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper. Gai’s eyes fluttered shut, and he cringed.
“I- I can’t.” He whined.
“Can’t what?”
“I can’t say it.” Gai whimpered. “Please, it’s too- it’s too much.”
“Too what? Embarrassing?” Kakashi pressed. Gai nodded, meeting his eyes carefully. Kakashi had a dark expression, his eyes burning with curiosity, and was that, excitement?
“Maybe you’d rather show me?” He whispered, raising his eyebrows. Gai sucked in a breath.
Oh gods. Show Kakashi? The thought made his stomach flip like it was trying to tie itself in a knot. He was starting to shake again.
Kakashi caressed his face, using the leg still slung over him to press him closer, close enough to feel-
Gai gasped, eyes widening. Kakashi was hard. His eyes drifted down to stare at the visible bulge in Kakashi’s pants, and felt his own cock throb in response.
“See?” Kakashi murmured, gently grasping his chin to guide his gaze back to his own. “I don’t necessarily have to be into the same things you are to enjoy them with you.” He pressed his thumb against Gai’s still spit soaked lips, dark gaze trained on his mouth. “Anything you enjoy that much, I enjoy.” He said huskily, meeting his eyes again.
Gai felt trapped in his gaze, trapped between the desire to finally, finally, get what he’d only had a taste of all these years- and the bone chilling terror that Kakashi would judge him the minute he realized what he liked.
“Cmon.” Kakashi whispered, leaning closer to press their lips together, not a kiss, just a quick brush of fabric and skin. “I can see how bad you want it.”
Gai sucked in a steadying breath and closed his eyes.
“I want to- show you.. I want-” He bit his lip, another wave of desire rolling through him. “I just- I’ve never told anyone. I’ve never even said it out loud.” He whispered, barely audible. “I’m so afraid- that you’re going to hate me, that you’re going to think I’m disgusting-”
Kakashi shushed him again, silencing him with a brush of his masked lips against the corner of Gai’s mouth.
“Never.” He murmured. “I could never hate you.”
“Do you- do you promise?” Gai asked quietly. He felt small suddenly, wrapped in Kakashi’s arms and looking anxiously into his eyes. Kakashi’s eyes softened, and he reached up to slowly pull his mask down, revealing inch after inch of his beautiful face, porcelain skin and soft lips, the mole on his chin that seemed like an artists finishing touch to a masterpiece- and carefully kissed him.
Gai’s eyes closed of their own accord, moaning softly, immediately allowing Kakashi to kiss his mouth open and gently press his tongue forward to taste him. He kissed him softly, earnestly, stealing Gai’s breath away and making his heart race.
When they finally broke apart, Gai was gasping, clinging to Kakashi’s body like it was an anchor in a storm. He slowly opened his eyes to meet Kakashi’s, grey gaze dark with love and lust and so earnest, so solemn.
“I promise.” Kakashi whispered, maintaining eye contact. Gai swallowed thickly. Searching his gaze for any hint of deception… and found none.
Dammit. He was 28 years old. It was time to turn a new leaf. To own his pleasure. Time to show Kakashi he trusted him, completely, entirely.
Even if it made him feel like he was going to throw up.
“Can I go in the other room?” Gai asked weakly. “I can’t- I can’t be in here when you-”
Kakashi only nodded with a smile, pressing another soft kiss to his lips.
“Go ahead. Go get a drink of water, then wait for me in the living room. I’ll be there in a minute.” He leaned forward to press his lips to Gai’s ear, “After I’m done looking at whatever you were watching, of course.”
Gai moaned, goosebumps rising all over his body, and clapping a hand over his mouth. He nodded, still covering his mouth, and clambered off the bed. He noted, with some degree of mortification, that he was hard again, his sweatpants visibly tenting. Kakashi’s eyes flickered down as he rose, and seemed to sparkle with mischief, but he thankfully said nothing as Gai padded out of the room, closing the bedroom door behind him.