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Anithil heard the front door of the manor creak open and looked up from the bottle of cheap wine she was nursing.
“You sent for me?” Lex asked in a worried tone as he entered to see her slouched in front of the fire. It was unusual for them to see each other before his patrols ended.
Anithil put the bottle down and turned to face him, giving a defeated smile.
“You’re always telling me to come to you if I get in trouble. Well, I’m in trouble.”
Lex frowned and helped her to stand.
“Let’s go upstairs, Ani. You’ll be more comfortable on the bed.”
Anithil nodded and let him guide her upstairs. Even though her mind felt leagues away, she could tell Lex was agitated. He let her down to sit on the bed but remained standing himself.
“Something is bothering you,” she remarked.
Lex sighed and set his jaw.
“I don’t mean to take away from your problem, but it’s Phillida. I haven’t been able to sleep since I heard the news of his death. The Dark Brotherhood! Killed in the open in Leyawiin, and they didn’t catch the perpetrator!”
Anithil smiled sadly at him and stood to help him out of his armor.
“As a captain, I should give the other guards – and the citizens – an impression of control of the situation, but... I’m at a loss. He was a commander, for gods’ sake, with a bodyguard. And his finger! Oh, gods. I can’t help but think that maybe I’ll be next. It could happen to anyone.”
Lex stretched his shoulders as the last pieces of armor were removed, and Anithil put her hands on his chest and smiled into his eyes.
“The Dark Brotherhood doesn’t have a problem with you, Lexi,” she said reassuringly, not thinking.
Lex’s expression slowly changed as he processed the statement.
“What? How do you...”
“I need your love and trust more than ever, Lex. I told you – I’m in trouble, and coming to you was the last thing I should have done, but... I’m also exhausted, and,” she paused, “I need you.”
Anithil left Lex confused for a moment as she retrieved the covered shield from the office.
“What is that,” he said, more of an accusation than a question, his body tense and his face pale.
Anithil slowly unwrapped the shield and silently showed it to him.
“By the Nine,” he whispered. “Where did you get that? Is that...”
The female Bosmer nodded.
“You!”
Lex’s eyes bored into Anithil’s, and she felt as though they were burning through her soul. She regretted bringing the shield to the manor, but the decision had been made in her weakest moment. How could she not have foreseen the hurt she would cause him? Him, the only good thing she had left?
“You, Ani... I have to arrest you. How convenient you keep those wrist irons around here,” he said venomously.
“Lex, no... I need your help.”
Anithil’s pathetic plea did not move the captain, and she backed slowly away from Lex as he walked toward her, only stopping when she hit the southern wall.
“Are you resisting arrest?”
Lex drew his dagger and held it to her throat, his other hand holding her against the wall. Anithil gazed at him calmly, surprising even herself.
“Fitting that you’ll be the one to kill me, I suppose. Sithis will welcome me into the void with his cold embrace. I’ve only been his agent, you know. You can kill me, but you’ll never touch him.” Anithil laughed softly, then continued, “Perhaps I’ll even see my friends...”
Her eyes watered at the thought of her brothers and sisters, and Lex frowned, confused by her sudden emotion.
“Have you ever killed anyone, Hieronymus? If you’re going to do it, you should get it over with.”
Lex’s brow furrowed. Anithil sensed that he was reevaluating the situation against his better judgment, but the captain remained silent, and she resumed.
“However – since we’re having this nice little chat, I suppose I should tell you that I’m the one who stole the Waterfront taxes. I took them from your desk while you were sleeping. By Sithis, you looked so peaceful, so handsome... I love you, Lex. But I can make this easier for you. I can tell you about every crime I’ve committed. By all measures, I deserve to die. Why do you hesitate?”
Lex stared at the elf he thought he knew. Anithil could tell that he did not want to hurt her, but his instincts would surely want her dead – she was a thief and a murderer.
“What happened to your friends?” he asked slowly, gravely.
A short burst of laughter shattered the tension, and Lex momentarily lowered his dagger in surprise.
“Oh darling, I killed them.”
Anithil laughed disconcertingly. Sensing that she was not an immediate threat, Lex sheathed his dagger, and the Bosmer let herself fall forward into his arms, beginning to cry. Lex led them back to the bed, and her sobs became intermingled with laughter. Lex was taken aback, but Anithil’s emotional trauma kept his guard instincts in check. He felt that he had gotten himself into something he was not prepared to handle, and he did not know how to proceed.
“Ani,” he said as he set her back into a sitting position.
Anithil calmed herself and smiled through her tears in an attempt to ease the fear she could sense in the captain.
“I didn’t have a choice. It was Sithis’ will.”
“How could you do that to your friends, Ani?”
“Friends, family members, colleagues... my Dark Brotherhood brothers and sisters. You should be happy, Lex. Fewer murderers in the world.”
Anithil smiled largely at him, then started crying again. Lex’s mind swirled with confusion.
“Isn’t Sithis supposed to protect your lot? Did Sithis tell you to do this?”
Anithil shook her head.
“Sithis doesn’t speak to us. Only the Night Mother speaks to us, and only one of us.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know, and I wouldn’t tell you if I did. No, the order came from my superior. Their deaths were an offering to Sithis.”
“Sithis wants you alive, then.”
“I don’t imagine he cares much either way. I’m currently more useful to him alive. I was chosen for the task because I was the newest member of the family.”
Lex looked at her in confusion. Anithil glanced around the room, even though she knew they were alone, then spoke quietly.
“There is talk of a traitor in the Brotherhood. We don’t know who it is, but the sanctuary I was at was deemed tainted beyond repair. Drastic measures had to be taken. I was new enough to be relieved of any suspicion.” She paused briefly. “Well, I had also proven my capabilities. I don’t... I don’t know if we – if I killed the traitor. I suppose we’ll find out in time.”
Anithil sighed and rested her head in her hands, thinking back to her talk with Lucien.
“It was the first I had heard of it. I had just returned to the sanctuary from killing Phillida, and we were all so happy. My previous superior – may she rest with Sithis – gave me a note from one of the leaders – the one who recruited me, in fact. I was excited to meet them again, and felt I was once again rising in rank. Well, I was right, but my next contract was... well, I think you know.”
Anithil reached into her pocket and pulled out a golden necklace, admiring it in silence for a few moments before showing it to Lex.
“This belonged to my dear friend. My mentor. I got my first contracts from him – a vampire by the name of Vicente Valtieri. I killed him first, made it painless. It was the least I could do for him. I felt part of his spirit enter it as he passed to the void. It wards off frost, now. I think he understood.”
Anithil returned the necklace to her pocket, then took Lex’s hands in her own, keeping her eyes focused on them.
“Thank you for listening. It means a lot. I hadn’t spoken of this to anyone. If you still want to arrest me or kill me, go ahead. I’m at peace now.”
She smiled calmly at Lex, expecting to meet her death, but the captain’s face showed only concern for her well-being, and she noticed tears glinting in his eyes.
“No, Ani, you need rest,” he said, helping her into a more comfortable position. “I... I need to be alone for a while.”
Lex tucked a strand of Anithil’s hair behind her ear, resting his hand against her face before turning to leave.
“Lex.”
He stopped walking and turned back to face her.
“You’re not going to breathe a word of this to anyone, and you’re not going to look into the Brotherhood. Promise me.”
Lex’s expression was pained.
“I know you want to, but... the people of Anvil need you. The countess needs you. I... Well, I need you, too. You’re too good to lose. Please don’t give me a reason to kill another legionnaire.”
The captain made to protest, but Anithil looked at him beseechingly.
“Why do you think we went after Phillida?” she asked softly.
Lex sighed and gave a nod, finally resigned.
“I understand. I’ll return soon.”
“I love you.”
Anithil could not keep herself from saying it, and the few seconds that her partner took to respond felt like minutes.
“I love you, too, Ani.”
Lex closed the bedroom door softly, and Anithil passed into a dreamless sleep.