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It was 12 am when Rensuke heard clicky footsteps down the hall, Anri, it must be time then. He felt his tongue grow heavy and wet at the thought, how disgusting- Anri slowly opened the door and he jumped in his bed. It shouldn't have scared him, but it did. She silently walked to his bed, careful to not wake the other boys in the room.
"Mr. Ego has called for you, Kunigami-kun," Anri whispered into Rensuke's ear. He shuddered, why'd she have to be so close? But, a good boy doesn't argue, so he shut his mouth and nodded.
Getting up, a familiar pit in his stomach grew, he thought he'd gotten over that. He can't show it on his face, he can't, he remembers what happened last time. Anri guided him to Ego, and Rensuke couldn't help but wonder, did she know the truth? Such a worthless thought, it doesn't matter; she shouldn't feel obligated to help.
He trudged through the open door as Anri lead him down to hell once more. Maybe this time, he could pretend he was alive in fresh spring, at home, or just anywhere but here.
-
Here in Ego's office, away from careless eyes, he began to strip himself of his sleepwear like he's done many nights before. He didn't mind too much anymore, it's not like he enjoyed wearing clothes lately, usually he only wore them to seem just a bit normal in the eyes of other boys. The ginger boy especially hated garments with as soft of a fabric as the tracksuits, he didn't deserve it.
Rensuke knew what Ego wanted, could see it under the glare of his square glasses, could feel it creeping up his skin. The pit tightened as that realization; he wasn't chopped meat on a board, that's too human, he was wires and metal parts to be torn apart and put back together.
Suddenly, Ego spun around, "Sit on the tube, Kunigami." And sat he did, whenever Ego talked, the boy felt as if he couldn't control his body anymore… well it wasn't his body anymore, is it? Ego perverted it, just like he perverted everything else. He could give Rensuke a new name and he'd accept it just like that.
"Oh, don't look at me like that," Ego's words were biting at his ears, "you asked for this, didn't you? Didn't you Kunigami! You could've gone home, I gave you options, don't fucking bitch about it now. Y'know, this is ridiculous, fucking ridiculous, if you weren't so selfish maybe you'd be at home, with your sisters, with your family. But you're not! Why? Because you chose this!"
So he did notice.
Truth was, Rensuke didn't want to go home, how could he? The brother his sisters once knew was dead, his soul trapped in hell, his body an overgrown walking corpse.
"I'm sorry, sir," Rensuke answered, quietly curling into himself on the machine below him, he is not allowed the protection of bedsheets. "I didn't… I didn't mean to upset you, I know it's my fault. I'll do better, I'll do anything you want." Technically, that was a lie, Rensuke wouldn't do anything, but he would let anything be done to him.
"Since your tantrum is over now, let's begin, yeah?" The lanky man put both hands on his armrests to stand. Like this, Rensuke had to look up.
Forcefully, Ego one handily snatched his wrists and pinned him down. Laxly sneaking his other bony hand down on Rensuke's thigh, then on Rensuke's boxers. Just push him off, do it, you're stronger than him, be your own hero.
He didn't.
-
Rensuke didn't know what was worse, pathetically putting his clothes back on, or having to walk back to his dorm like nothing happened. It was humiliating, limping down the halls and feeling the blood seep out of him and the shame pour in. He wasn't human anymore, so why was he bleeding? Why is his body failing him again? Grey hair and now this.
Pivoting his steps, he decided to clean up a bit in the bathroom. Choosing the last stall, he sat down; a jolt of pain vibrating through his body. Fuck, he was large, tall, muscular, and for what? To bleed? To not fight back? To crack at the slightest intrusion?
Useless, so damn useless. He only exists for Ego now, 'become selfless,' he said, but wasn't Rensuke already?
Tugging off his pants and boxers all at once, he could finally see the full damage. He was bleeding, and Ego left… dna, fuck, fuck, FUCK! Rensuke didn't want to be angry, or sad, or to feel anything, but he couldn't help it. This was all his fault, his own fault, he despised himself. He was a pervert, he was selfish, how could he look anyone in the eye? All they'd see is his Sir reflected back.
At last, he stood to open the stall door. On the sink in his direct line of vision he found a clean pair of boxers. Confused, he looked around, just out the automatic doors he caught a glimpse of brownish red hair, and that click clacking of high heeled shoes. So she does know, Rensuke thought to himself. It's not her fault, I got myself into this mess and now I'm just taking responsibility. Like any good boy would.
Rensuke didn't want to go back to his dorm, nor did he want to stay in the bathroom, yet he didn't want to back to Ego either. There wasn't a place on earth for the boy to return to, he didn't belong anywhere. How can a little boy go through hell and be expected to walk amongst normal people in heaven? There's no going back to his naive self, he can only stumble forward.
Thinking to himself, what lesson is there to learn? What moral? What did his suffering make of him? Heroes always conquer their challenges, but he's been stripped to his bones and replaced with Ego's… everything.
He walked back to him dorm, uncaring if his roommates woke up or if they were curious on why he was roaming around so late. What else is there to do really? This place was his new home, a scared animal will always return home, no matter how scary home is.