Work Text:
Keralis sat, unsure of what to do with himself. He knew he should probably speak up, talk with his visitor, but it was hard to think about. It was hard because there was only one reason that he could think the other would be here - and it was the one thing Keralis didn't want to talk about.
"How're you healing, Keralis?" Martyn asked, smoothly sitting down in the chair that was hardly ever empty. Keralis had many visitors. It was good. He loved his friends, he loved seeing them again. The relief of having them here, of him being here, even if it wasn't Hermitcraft, even if it wasn't home… at least it wasn't there.
He was off the island. He didn't need to think about it any more… except how could he not? How could he move past the island and all it's horrors when Ren was still here? Keralis couldn't even think of the man without panicking. That's what the island has done to him, and he hates it.
It takes a lot for Keralis to hate.
"Buddy?"
And Martyn was bring it all to the forefront.
"…Yes?"
He didn't know Martyn. Martyn didn't know him. But they were now connected…
"I know you don't actually want me here," He admitted, leaning back in the chair and glancing out the window rather than looking at Keralis.
"No no no, no I'm always happy for visitors, really!" Keralis replied, trying to garner up a smile. It must not have done a very good job based on Martyn's expression. There was silence, or at least a quiet as quiet as it could be in the hospital. Beeps and bumps, constant foot steps from outside, so many noises filling up the space except for their words.
"I was worried about seeing him too, after seeing the Red King for the first time." Martyn said.
And no matter how much he wanted to deny it, to avoid it all and not think about it, Keralis had to face the fact that the two of them were one in the same. They were the Hand of the Red King, each doing horrific tasks under his name.
Martyn wasn't going to let Keralis live in denial any more.
He had to face Ren.
"It's strange actually, thinking about it now. I never knew Ren before hand. All I knew was the Red King." Keralis had to think very hard about his breaths, even as they started to come out harsher and quicker.
"The first time I was invited to Hermitcraft to properly meet you all without the games and the Watchers, I was so happy to see Ren again. I'd killed him, gotten him on to Red Life, and I failed to keep him safe."
-Flashes of the man, a grin, a laugh, and red. So much blood, so much red-
"He was killed first for me. I was his Hand, his servant that would do anything for him, and yet the one thing I strived to do, I failed. Scar got to him first and all I could do was watch as my King was slaughtered right in front of me."
-Why was Martyn talking? Where was xb or Xisuma? Who would let him in here when every day Keralis asked for talks of Ren to be left alone. He just wants to be left alone for a bit-
"Seeing him on Hermitcraft… it suddenly hit me - I didn't know Ren. I knew the Ren King, but I didn't know Ren."
-Keralis was still breathing, though it was far shallower and quicker than it probably should be. 'I knew Ren, but I did not know the Red King - I do not want to know the Red King'. Keralis thought hysterically-
"We finally have a chance to talk and hang out without the threat of death and pain behind us, and I could hardly recognize the man in front of me. Would he even still want me to be his friend? This man, so strong and lighthearted, kind and patient and giving - every trait that was crushed out of us in those stupid games, and this man was full of it."
-Keralis was shaking by now, tears starting to form-
"I almost left the server right then and there. How could I be there, looking for the Red King, to try and bring up those memories and those relationships, to be needed and useful once more… Ren didn't need that. I was trying to cling to the man I thought I knew, but there was no sign of him anymore."
Martyn took a moment, letting the words linger in the air as he collected his thoughts. Keralis could tell he was struggling with his words. It was a lot of words.
"I thought I was going to get the Red King and I got Ren. I got the wonderful man who would give his heart and soul for his friends, and he wanted me there still. Not as his Hand, a servant who would follow his every command. He wanted me as a friend and I was so scared I wouldn't be able to give him that."
Keralis cried at Martyn's choked up words.
"You fear you're going to get the Red King, but you are going to get Ren. You aren't going to find a tyrant, whose every word you need to follow, who holds your loyalty to him above all else, and who can easily find you wanting. You'll find the man you know and love, and he will love you."
Martyn reached out and grabbed his hand, giving a gentle squeeze.
"Ren loves me, even when I thought I wanted a King. And Ren loves you, as you search so desperately for a friend."
He let go of Keralis and stood up, heading towards the door. His visit was never going to be long.
"It's okay if it takes a little longer, but don't be afraid of him, Keralis. From one Hand to another, know this - Ren might be a King you'd willingly serve, but he would never want you to."