Chapter Text
Robby didn’t know when that plan had started.
Whether it was the moment his first girlfriend told him he wasn’t enough, that she wanted something better.
Or the moment he heard his grandmother arguing with his mother, hearing his mother say that she had never wanted to have him, that she was never coming back for him, that even though she had tried, Michael was simply too difficult to love.
He wasn’t easy to love. He wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t the best option. Everyone will realize that sooner or later, and they will abandon you.
So, to avoid getting hurt, to avoid suffering when someone realized he wasn’t worth it, he always left them first.
No one had ever stayed, no one had ever insisted, and Michael’s only comfort was that they always ended up leaving anyway.
Maybe because he made sure not to give the best of himself, all of his girlfriends ended up hating him.
You’re the worst, Michael Robinavitch. Yes, he knows.
I hate you, I wish I had never met you. He hated himself too.
That hurt less than being abandoned first. Sometimes he believed the relationship would last, that girl wouldn’t leave him… but his thoughts always ended up being the same. She’ll realize you’re not good enough for her and she’ll leave you. No one will stay by your side. You’re a mess.
Time passed, and all of his relationships ended the same way—at seven weeks.
Ending things with some people hurt, because he loved them, but over time he convinced himself that no, he didn’t love anyone. He built an armor no one could tear down, impossible to penetrate, and ended up nearing his fifties alone, still using his 7-week plan just so he wouldn’t “get hurt.”
If he loved no one, his heart would stop suffering from the thought that no one loved him, because you have to give in order to receive. If he gave no love, then he couldn’t receive love in return.
But all of that changed when Dennis Whitaker appeared like a small light in the immense darkness.
He wasn’t going to lie—he was attracted to Dennis. Maybe too much.
He was terrified of how strong these feelings were. It was too much for him, and he knew ending that relationship would be incredibly painful and difficult. It would break Dennis’s heart, but he was doing him a favor by leaving him instead of making Whitaker leave him first. No doubt that would be hard for the younger man, but come on—who would want to be in a relationship with Robby? No one.
And yet, Dennis had moved in with him incredibly fast. They slept together, had breakfast together, went to work together, and came home together.
On their days off, they spent the whole day together, whether reading, watching television from the couch, doing puzzles, or lying in bed kissing and more whenever love raised the temperature of the room—and their bodies.
One night, Dennis came home soaked, carrying three tiny trembling kittens. They named them Sue, René, and Sandwich. At first, Robby had been a little reluctant about the idea of having pets together (because the relationship would end soon anyway), but apparently he couldn’t resist his boyfriend’s sad puppy-dog eyes.
Speaking of his boyfriend (not for much longer), he was a little shy when it came to showing affection, but he still did it, and Robby had never felt so… loved.
Dennis woke him up with good morning kisses, made sure he ate, cooked dinner with him side by side, curled up on the couch with him to watch television until they fell asleep, or simply told him, “Have I told you how much I love you?” “Have I told you how happy I am to be by your side?”
Even when Robby seemed to spiral, when his mind needed a break after an exhausting shift, Dennis would turn off every light in the house, wrap him in a blanket, and stroke his hair while murmuring a lullaby.
Robby had never felt so at peace. Even with tears running down his face, Dennis filled him with calm. He was like an anchor in the middle of so much darkness. He even fantasized about Dennis staying with him—not just that night, but every night. Staying with him even after seeing the worst parts of him. Staying forever.
But nothing could last forever, right?
Week seven had ended, and they were already in the eighth week of their official relationship… and Robby found the perfect moment to break up with him when he came home after a long shift.
Dennis had stayed home since he had the day off, and when Robby walked through the door, Dennis was in the kitchen, finishing dinner.
“Sweetheart?” Robby stopped at the kitchen entrance.
Dennis appeared wearing a kitchen apron, walked over, and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.
“How are you?” Whitaker smiled. Robby tried to smile back, but only managed a strange grimace.
“Dennis…” His voice wouldn’t come out. Something deep in his mind told him don’t do it, just like it had in his other relationships, but for some reason this time it sounded louder. “I want to talk to you.”
“Yeah?” The younger man walked to the stove and turned off the burner.
“Yeah…”
“Well, tell me after dinner. Let’s eat. You must be hungry.”
Robby didn’t mind talking after dinner. But when he was about to begin his it’s not you, it’s me monologue (and yes, he really was the problem), Dennis kissed him, sent him to shower, and told him he would wait for him in bed.
When Robby came out of the shower and lay beside him, ready once again to start his speech, Dennis silenced him with kisses and a few bites to his neck before curling against his side, surrounded by their three cats, and falling asleep.
That day, Robby couldn’t break up with him.
When he tried again two days later, Dennis was too tired. He gave him a kiss and said he would shower and then go to sleep.
Again, a week later, Dennis fell asleep on Robby’s chest before he could finish the sentence, “You’ve been a wonderful man, you truly have, but I don’t think I can continue being in a relationship with you.”
And every time after that, Dennis found a way to avoid the conversation. He seemed attentive to everything Robby said, both at work and outside of it—except when it came to Robby breaking up with him.
Until…
Robby had dragged him into the supply room and locked the door behind him.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
“With what?” Dennis asked, crossing his arms before looking at him.
“You’re ignoring me.” Robby was… angry. Frustrated. This wasn’t going how he had planned.
“I’m not ignoring you.”
“You do every time I try to break up with you!” At last, he had dropped the bomb. Now all that was left was for it to explode.
“Oh, that.” Dennis seemed bored, as if he had no interest in discussing that specific topic.
“See? You were ignoring me on purpo—wait… You knew? You knew I wanted to break up with you?” Now Robby felt something strange in his mouth.
“I may have noticed.” Dennis nodded, looking at him. He looked sad, but he was trying with all his strength not to let it show.
“Then… why have you been delaying the inevitable?” He hated that feeling, the feeling of knowing he was hurting him. “Dennis…”
“I don’t want to.” Dennis whispered.
“Excuse me?” Robby was bewildered, dizzy. So many failed relationships, so many angry women telling him to go to hell—and this resident, this man… was refusing to leave him?
“I don’t want this to end, Michael. We both agreed to start this relationship. Why should it end just because you want it to?” Robby wanted Dennis to stop. He couldn’t bear the pain in Dennis’s voice as he said that, the slight break in his voice when he said you.
“Do you hear yourself?” Robby felt strange, caught between relief and anger. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. Dennis shouldn’t be fighting to stay.
“Yes, I hear myself, and you should hear me when I tell you that I refuse to let this relationship end.” Dennis stood firmly in front of him.
“Why are you doing this?” Robby suddenly sounded tired.
“Because I know you don’t want to leave me, Michael.”
No. No, he doesn't want to.
“Oh yeah? And what do you know about that?” Panic was starting to consume Robby.
“Very little, but if you’d let me kno—”
“No.” He said sharply. Dennis tried to argue, but Robby continued. “Whitaker, I’m being considerate with you, but I’ve already made my decision. This relationship is over. Whether you like it or not. After the shift, you have until then to take all your things and get out of my house.”
Robby walked out of the room, leaving Dennis alone inside.
Please, Dennis, don’t make this harder. It’s easier this way. It’s easier to stop here before I grow more attached, before I fall more in love with you and you break my heart with your inevitable departure.