Chapter Text
Mike walked down the halls of Object Academy, holding piles of books in each arm. As the student walked down the halls of the rich academy’s high school wing, the other students gossipped to each other about the student’s outfit. The girls of the school wore yellow dresses with long sleeves that went down to the wrist and skirts that went down to the knees at the highest. The boys of the school wore light blue suits with black pants. All of the students whispered to each about Mike’s hideous black sweater and khaki pants. Mike’s messed up, short, and curly hair wasn’t helping the student at all, as well as the massive glasses. Mike looked… Ugly. However, Mike’s flawless and practically glowing dark skin was the only thing that made up for the other bad qualities.
All Mike wanted was a nice place to study. The first library Mike visited was full of yappers, the second library had students playing music, and the third had students doing possibly everything but being silent. After reaching the final library in the high school wing, Mike prayed that the library would at least be a little bit silent.
It wasn’t.
Inside the library, it was full of students learning to dance and talking loudly. Mike sighed and closed the door, disappointed. You’d think that at least one of the four libraries would be quiet, but that type of logic probably doesn’t count at the rich and private academy of Ouran Academy. It seemed like the only reason rich kids go to school is to socialize and have fun.
Mike walked down the empty hallway until reaching a giant door labelled ‘Music Room 3’. The same unused music room the school’s chairman warned Mike about. Even if it was a music room and not exactly ideal for studying in, it was still unused and could be a quiet studying place. Hesitantly, Mike opened the door, unsure of what was on the other side. As Mike entered the room, the student was immediately greeted by six other others, four guys and two girls.
“Welcome!” The six students greeted. “To the Object Host Club!”
Six students stood in a group, all gathered around one of the members, who sat on a chair covered in gold. The girl in the chair wore the classic girl’s uniform, with the skirt up to her knees to reveal her black Mary Janes. Her dirty blonde hair went down to right above her shoulders, and it was tucked behind her tan ears to reveal her red and green gem earrings. Her expression made her seem like she was royal, but not the kind that had too much hubris.
Behind that girl, to her right, was another girl, with dark skin and short, black hair. Her yellow dress went down to her ankles, and she carried a clipboard in her hand. On her face was a birthmark that kinda looked like a scribble, but it was hard to see from the round glasses she wore. Despite that, the girl looked dangerous, like she was calculating Mike’s every move.
To the left side of the girl in the chair were two boys who looked nothing alike, but similar in the sense that they belonged next to each other. The shorter one had pale skin, curled blondish-yellow hair, and a silly expression on his face. His blue uniform was all messed up, as if he spent the day playing. The taller one had tan skin, messy brown hair, and an annoyed expression. His blue uniform looked like it would break if he tried flexing his muscles.
The tallest one, the one who stood behind the girl in the chair, had dark skin, his dark hair in an afro, and a tidy uniform. In front of the girl was a short kid, sitting on the floor. He wore the middle school uniform that consisted of a white shirt and black pants. He had pale skin, black hair with a couple leaves in it, dirt on his face, and held a purple rabbit.
Mike, unexpectedly, felt insecure about the difference of quality worn between Mike and the group of students. Mike stumbled back, trying to take everything in the ‘unused’ music room. The room was giant with tiled floor, giant windows, and a lot of empty space that was covered with decorations like tea tables, chairs, and a nice looking vase that resided on a podium to the left of Mike. For some reason, the student felt like the vase was kinda important for some unknown reason. “H-host Club?” Mike questioned. Weren’t host clubs made up of women to entertain men? If so, why were there only two girls but four guys? What was going on here? And why was this able to be held in a high school?
“Oh.” The boy with the silly expression muttered. “It’s a boy.” He said, smirking and turning his gaze to the side. Mike’s eyes widened both really confused and shocked at the statement. ‘It’? That was a rude statement.
The girl with the birthmark wrote something down on her clipboard. “Cheesy, Trophy, our visitor here is in the same class as you, right?” She asked the boys with the silly smile and the muscles. Now that Mike noticed it, Cheesy and Trophy were familiar looking, as they happened to be in almost all of Mike’s classes. However, they were always in the corner of the classroom, talking to each other, if not silently doing something by themselves. Cheesy was the one with the blonde hair and silly smile, while Trophy was the one with brown hair and muscles.
“Well, he’s not very sociable.” Trophy told the girl as if Mike wasn’t there to see this demeaning conversation. “He hardly talks to anyone, so we don’t know him.” Trophy said, almost as if it was Mike’s fault for being introverted.
The girl with the birthmark turned her gaze towards Mike, like she realized something.
Somewhere else, a lightbulb flickered on.
“You know Trophy, it’s impolite to say something like that.” The girl noted. She smiled at Mike. “Welcome to the Object Host Club, Mr. Honor Student.”
The girl in the chair’s eyes lit up. “What’s this?” She asked in a British accent. “The exceptionally rare honor student we’ve heard about, that goes by Mike, is you?”
Mike stood there in shock, slightly shaken by all these rich people asking the student questions. “Uhm… How do you know my name?” The student’s voice was quivering.
The girl with the birthmark smiled, but it felt cold. “It’s just our school tradition that makes it difficult for commoners like you to get in. It’s said that unless you possess a bold nerve, it’s impossible to become an honor student here.” The girl thought for a moment. “The last time that a commoner attended school here was a handful of years ago, maybe a decade. Good job finding your way into the school, Mike.”
The word ‘commoner’ being used to describe people like Mike was a bit… Rude. “...Thanks.” Mike said sarcastically.
The girl in the chair stood up and grabbed Mike’s shoulders. She was notably shorter than Mike, as Mike was pretty tall. “Lollipop is just saying you’re a hero, Mike!” The girl exclaimed, as if she was amazed by Mike. “Even though you may be at the head of your class in academics, you’re the poorest one in the school! It’s truly amazing, isn’t it? Long live the poor!”
Mike jumped away from the girl, trying to scramble away from her. “That’s a stretch to call me poor…”
The girl extended her hand to Mike. “Welcome to our world of beauty, poor man!”
Mike did not take her hand.
The little middle school ran up to Mike and grabbed the student’s hand instead. “Hey, Mikey, Mikey! You’re a hero? That’s so cool!” He exclaimed. It was hard to think that this childlike child was a middle schooler instead of a preschooler, especially since he carried a stuffed, purple rabbit. Well, he had unintentionally dropped it on the ground.
Immediately, Mike pulled away from the middle schooler. “Hey, I’m not a hero! I’m just an honor student!” The little middle schooler looked sad and disappointed. “And who are you to call me ‘Mikey’?!” Mike yelled.
The middle schooler ran to the tall student with the afro. The girl had grabbed Mike again, and was slowly pulling the honor student towards the group. “Though, it is shocking to think that such a legendary and rare honor student would be openly gay…”
“G-gay?” Mike squeeked. “Why-Uh… Why would you, uh, ever think that?” Mike stuttered out.
“Well, gay if it’s one of the guys.” She added. “My dear, what’s your preference?” The girl asked. Suddenly, all of the high schoolers circled around Mike. “Is it the witty type, Lollipop?” The girl showed Mike the girl with the birthmark. The girl, Lollipop, adjusted her glasses. “The calm type, Tree?” She showed Mike the boy with the afro, who smiled sweetly at Mike. “With the added bonus of Marker.” The little middle schooler tightly hugged Tree’s legs. “Maybe the comedic type, Cheesy?” Cheesy gave Mike a giant smile, giggling. “Or the jock type, Trophy?” Trophy flexed his muscles.
Mike backed away from the group, red with embarrassment. “No, no, it’s not like that!” The student exclaimed. “I just needed a place to study!”
“Or, possibly, you’d like to try me, the princess type, Taco.” She grabbed Mike’s face gently. “How about it?”
A bunch of things happened at once. Mike yelped, stumbling back from Taco. Unfortunately, Mike didn’t realize that Marker left his stuffed rabbit plush on the ground, and had tripped on it. The honor student fell back, crashing into the podium that held the fancy vase. Mike quickly tried grabbing the vase, but it slipped just out of reach. The vase slid out of Mike’s grasp, and it crashed into the ground. There was a loud sound, and the vase shattered into a thousand pieces.
Mike stared at the shattered vase. Oh no.
Trophy walked over towards the vase and examined it. “That was the Renaissance vase that was going to be featured at the school auction!”
Behind him, Cheesy gawked at the mess and Mike. “Oh, now you’ve done it! We were gonna auction that off starting at $50,000!” He sighed and turned around. “Well, this is a poor situation! Get it? Cause you’re poor?” Cheesy turned to Mike and smiled, slapping his knee. He frowned when no one laughed.
Mike seemed mortified. “...Fifty…Thousand…Dollars?!” The student fell to the ground, trying to grapple with the amount of money that vase would cost. “...How many hundred dollars is that?” Mike tried counting how much that would’ve cost using fingers, making the group question how Mike was an honor student. “How many hundreds are in 50,000?”
The host club looked at Mike with pity. Taco sympathetically helped pick Mike up from the ground. “Now, now, that’s not too much… About a month of allowance.”
The ‘month of allowance’ was certainly not the same thing to Mike. “...Um, can I pay you back…?” Mike asked sheepishly.
“Are you sure about that?” Tree asked, walking over to Mike to examine the old, black sweater. “You seem to not be able to even afford the designated uniform.”
Cheesy nodded, pushing Tree aside to poke at Mike’s outfit. “Yeah, why are you even wearing this drabby anyway? It’s practically falling apart!”
By now, the entire host club had gathered around Mike again. The student in question was shaking, not sure how to even deal with the overwhelming price of the vase. The vase was probably worth more than Mike!
“How shall we deal with this, Taco?” Lollipop asked, looking down her nose at Mike. Like she was better than the commoner. The way she looked down at Mike made the honor student seethe. “Which way will we go?” Mike gave Lollipop and Taco a concerned look.
The ‘princess type’ grabbed Mike’s hand and looked up at Mike smugly. “Tell me, Mike, have you ever heard of the expression ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do?”
No.
Taco continued, trying to hide how smug she looked. “If you have no money, then you’ll have to pay with your body!” She turned around, pointing at Mike with a giant smile, her hair and skirt twirling against her body. Mike froze. Taco couldn’t be saying that as a minor, to a minor, could she? “Starting today, you will be the host’s club’s dog, attending to our every need!”
The honor student was as pale as a ghost and as frozen as a statue. …What did Mike get into!? Mike had just been captured by a ridiculous group of boys and girls who called themselves hosts!
Marker picked up his stuffed rabbit off the ground and poked Mike’s leg. “Mikey?” No response. “Poke… Poke…” He muttered. Mike didn’t move at all.
ᯓ➳♡ *ੈ❀˚˖𓍢ִ໋⋆˚✿˖°
Later that day, after the Object Host Club opened up, girls flooded into the room, trying to talk to their favorite host. About three or four girls would gather around a host, and the host would entertain their clients for a good amount of time before it was time for new clients to go to the host. Today was a normal day, where the hosts stayed in the host room and wore their normal uniforms instead of extravagant outfits and sets.
In the center of the room, on the couches by the tea table, Taco was surrounded by four other girls, all drinking tea and chatting. Taco had seen these girls before, Pin, Marshmallow, Pepper, and Salt. Taco found them more pleasant than some of the other girls that were Taco’s clients, but all the girls were the same. They thought of Taco as more of a prince than a princess, and only visited Taco because they wanted to ‘experiment’ with a girl to see how it would be like to flirt with a girl. Under normal circumstances, Taco would actually hate this and feel like they were playing with Taco’s feelings, but since Taco was a host, she too was playing with their feelings by flirting with them.
“Hey, Taco,” Marshmallow asked, looking up at Taco from next to her. “What’s your favorite song?”
Taco pretended to think for a moment. “Well, the one that reminds me of you with its lovely voice.” Marshmallow’s pale face turned a bright red with blush as she giggled to the side, distracting Marshmallow from the fact that Taco didn’t have a favorite song, much less a song that sounded like Marshmallow’s high pitched voice.
Across from Taco was Pin, who held a small container with a baked good in it. “I baked you a cake today. It’s strawberry flavored with paprika! Would you want to try some?” She asked sheepishly.
Taco crossed her legs and fixed her hair. “Only if you feed it to me.” She answered, making sure her voice was soft and sweet so the statement didn’t come off as lazy and rude.
Pin started giggling. “Aw, Taco!” She exclaimed. It was easy to please girls like Marshmallow and Pin. Just complement them or say something flirty and they’re already in love with you.
Next to Pin and to the left of Pepper, Salt held her tea cup and smiled to herself. “Oh, Taco, I heard that you’re helping a little kitten that comes from a poor family?”
Taco smiled and put down her tea cup. “Well, I’m not too sure about ‘kitten’…” Salt had this weird quirk where she would always phrase things to put down anyone who she thought was less than her, which was quite an annoying quirk in Taco’s opinion. However, Taco never criticized Salt for this since afterall, Salt was her top client. “I’d say he’s more like…”
Speaking of the ‘little kitten’, Mike walked into the host room, holding bags of groceries that Lollipop and Taco had requested Mike to grab. Taco smiled at the sight of her favorite commoner. The only commoner that she knew. “Ah, speak of the devil! Thanks for shopping for us, little piglet!” The girls all giggled to themselves. “Did you get everything all right?”
Mike stared at Taco blankly for a moment. “What the hell did you just call me? ‘Little piglet?’”
“Oh, nevermind that.” The princess grabbed the grocery bags from Mike and rummaged through it, looking for the coffee beans to make herself a nice cup of coffee. Instead, Taco pulled out a bag of weird looking coffee beans. “What’s this?”
Mike walked over to Taco to look at the coffee. “Exactly what it looks like. It’s coffee.” The honor student said as if it was clear.
The coffee bag was certainly NOT clear. It had this weird brown soil on the front of it instead of the beans Taco was used to. “I’ve never seen this coffee brand before. Is this the kind that’s already ground?”
“No…? It’s instant.” Mike pointed to the words ‘instant coffee’ on the front of the bag. …What the fuck was instant coffee?
“...Instant?” Pepper and Marshmallow questioned. They were equally confused as Taco was.
Taco looked over the bag a couple times, trying to figure out what instant coffee could possibly be. “Oooohhhh! It’s commoner’s coffee, right? Where you only have to add hot water, correct?” She turned to Mike to see if she was correct, and Mike nodded.
Pepper looked over at the bag. “Oh! I’ve heard of this!”
“Aww… So it’s true that poor people don’t have enough time to grind their own coffee beans…” Taco sighed, her heart feeling bad for all the poor people in the world. Don’t worry, Princess Taco sees you.
By now, hosts and their clients started gathering around Taco and the instant coffee bag. All of them were shocked. Lollipop put her hand on Mike’s shoulder and pushed the host club’s dog away to look at the coffee bag. “Hmmm… Well, I suppose commoners do have some wisdom.”
Trophy grabbed the bag. “This one bag costs only five dollars? That’s a hefty price drop.”
Mike scowled. “Well, jeez, I thought I’d just get the coffee I’m more comfortable with. I’ll just get something else then.” Mike turned around, grabbing the bag from Trophy. “Excuse me for not getting the expensive stuff then.” The honor student started leaving until Taco grabbed Mike’s sweater sleeve.
“No…” Taco muttered. “Wait, I’ll… I’ll drink this!” She lifted the bag above her head and acted like it was a courageous feat. Everyone, except for Mike and Salt, gasped and started clapping for Taco. “Oh, thank you, thank you… Now, Mike.” She turned to the commoner who was trying to slip through the crowd to leave. “Come over here and show us how to make commoner’s coffee!”
The commoner honor student seemed a bit uncomfortable at this. “Um… Okay…” Mike slipped away to grab a pot of hot water for the coffee while all the rich kids gawked at Mike and the instant coffee bag. Damn rich people. After a moment, Mike appeared to the coffee table with the water and saw one of Taco’s clients, Salt, talking to someone. Actually, no, she was talking to no one.
“Oh, Taco, you’ve taken the joke too far now.” Salt giggled to herself. “There’s no way you could handle a lowly person’s drink like that.” Taco was nowhere near Salt.
“Hm?” Mike perked up, giving Salt attention.
The rich girl quickly shook her head. “Oh, uh, I’m sorry. I was talking to myself.” She smiled at Mike, but it was a cold smile.
“...Um, okay…” Mike muttered. Mike turned to the instant coffee and slowly poured the coffee dust into the water, and then poured the coffee into little tea cups. After a moment, all of the tea cups disappeared into the hosts' and girls' hands, and they all seemed unsure of the coffee.
Taco looked down at the coffee, forcing a smile at the weird concoction that she held. “Well, um… Let the tasting begin!” She took a hesitant sip from the cup, and surprisingly found it good and a nice drink.
Next to Taco, Pin looked down at the tea cup that was being used for coffee ironically. “I’m… Scared to drink this.”
“I fear my father will yell at me if I drink this.” Pepper confessed.
Quickly, Taco grabbed Pepper and held her in a way that made it look like they were dancing. “What if you drank it from my mouth?”
Pepper turned the british shade of red that Taco had ever seen. “O-oh, well, then, I’d d-drink it!”
Watching this whole situation made Mike sick. It was literally JUST instant coffee! “Good grief…” Mike muttered.
ᯓ➳♡ *ੈ❀˚˖𓍢ִ໋⋆˚✿˖°
Around the host room, the hosts continued hosting their clients who wanted the hosts to be host-ly. Taco had continued flirting with her clients, Lollipop showed off her business strategies to her clients, Tree was nowhere to be found, Cheesy showed off his charm using his jokes, and Trophy showed off how strong he was to his clients.
“Wow? You’re able to bench press that much?” A girl asked, shocked at how muscular Trophy really was.
Trophy shrugged it off as he rolled up his sleeve to show his slightly muscular arm. He was slightly exaggerating how strong he was, but the girls wouldn’t realize that. “Yeah, I was able to bench more than all the boney twerps surrounding me!”
Another girl around Trophy whispered to her friend. “Wow! Trophy can be so rude sometimes, but I find it so appealing! It makes me wonder what he’s like after school! I wonder if he’s secretly a softie behind the scenes…”
Over by the windows, Cheesy laughed with his guests. “My, when I saw you, I thought I was dying!” He told one of the girls.
The girl gave Cheesy a weird look. “Um… Why is that?”
“Because you looked like an angel!” Cheesy exclaimed. “Y’know, we’re like a match made in Heaven…” He smirked.
It took the girl a moment to get it, but when she did, she started laughing. “Oh my goodness Cheesy, you’re so funny! Haha!”
Cheesy nodded his head. “Yep… I’m pretty gouda with the ladies.”
By the entrance of the doors, Lollipop showed her clients her can of fork repellant. “You see, this handy spray manages to keep the user safe from the dangers of the world like forks coming towards your head.” She sprayed her arm with the spray.
One of the girls gave Lollipop a weird look. “Lollipop, why would you make such a thing?”
The host gave the girl a sweet smile. “Oh, my dear, it’s so that it can keep pretty faces like you from getting hurt.” The girl inevitably started squealing because of how romantic Lollipop was.
“You’re so romantic, I could cry!” The girl exclaimed.
Mike walked past the group, holding a tea tray and sighing. The hosts were putting the honor student up to a lot of tasks, and while they were easy, Mike needed a break. The clients all noticed Mike, and quickly exchanged their empty tea cups for the full ones, not daring to look at the commoner. A moment later, Tree entered the host room, holding Marker on his back. Marker seemed to be sleeping against Tree, who didn’t seem to mind at all.
“Sorry.” Tree muttered, slowly setting Marker down onto the floor as the young boy woke up. “I had to go to pick Marker up from the Middle School, and he was tired when I got there.” Tree rolled his eyes.
Marker yawned and stretched his arms, his stuffed rabbit still with him. “And I am still sleepy!”
All of Tree’s clients ran up to him, fawning over how kind he was to bring his Middle School friend to the host meeting. “We were so worried that you wouldn’t come!” “We’re glad you came!” “Aww, it’s like Marker is your little brother!” The girls all exclaimed.
Mike turned to Lollipop, who wrote something down about the clients on her clipboard. “Is Marker really a Middle Schooler? I would’ve thought he was an Elementary student at the oldest.” Mike asked.
“Well, despite his age and immature mannerisms, Marker is actually a prodigy.” Lollipop explained. “Most girls are drawn to Tree by his silent and calm disposition, but some like seeing how Tree takes care of Marker.”
Despite how weird that sounded, Mike didn’t question it. All of a sudden, Marker ran up to Mike and twirled the honor student in a circle. “Mikey!” He exclaimed, pulling Mike over to a little table to the side of the host room. “Mikey, do you want to have some cake with me?”
It took Mike a moment to stop being dizzy for the honor student to properly examine what was on the table. There was a box of apple juice, a couple pink napkins, and a plate with a giant, brown cake. To be honest, it looked a lot like dirt. But that may just be how rich people’s cakes look like. “Um… No… I don’t really like sweets.”
Marker seemed really disappointed. “Oh… Well, uh, do you want to hold my bunny, Aston?” He held the stuffed rabbit up. It was the same damn stuffed rabbit that made Mike trip into the Renaissance vase.
“No, I don’t really like Aston either.”
Those words seemed to crush Marker. He started tearing up. “Y-You don’t like my bunny either…?”
Mike started taking the statement back. “Oh, uh, no! I love Aston! The bunny is…” Mike stared at the rabbit’s big, beady eyes. It was kinda… “Cute.” Mike smiled a bit at the rabbit, memories of Mike’s parents giving the younger Mike stuffed animals that Mike adored. Marker stared intensively at Mike’s soft expression.
Somewhere else, a lightbulb flickered on.
“Okaaaaay!!!” Marker exclaimed. “Take good care of him!” Marker jumped away, running towards Tree and jumping onto his back.
The honor student looked at Marker weirdly. There was no way that kid could be a year younger than Mike, as Marker seemed to be in eighth grade while Mike was a Freshman. It was weird seeing all these girls clamoring around the host members. To Mike, this seemed like an unusual way to waste time. These girls gained nothing but weird feelings towards all the hosts that would never be returned. Why would they even want to do this?
“Our club’s policy is to utilize our hosts’ individual characteristics to respond to the needs of our guests.” Lollipop said, swooping in to stand besides Mike, who was staring at Taco and the girls surrounding her. “By the way, around here, Taco is the most requested host. Her request rate is 60%, followed by Trophy with 15%, Cheesy with 10%, me with 9%, and then Tree with 6%. Taco is somehow popular with the ladies.”
Mike face palmed. “What is the world coming to?” At this point, Mike would be spending the rest of the honor student’s sorry little life by working for these host club brats.
Lollipop looked at Mike’s unfortunate face. “By the way, with your $50,000 debt, it seems like you will be the host club’s dog until you graduate.” In an attempt to escape Lollipop and her ramblings, Mike started walking away slowly and quietly. “Oh, pardon me, errand boy. Did I say you could leave? No. You’re free to run away if you manage to, but upon my family’s many healthcare companies, my family employs a private police force that can find you in seconds.”
…Mike would never be free from this torture, would she?
Suddenly, there was a hand on Mike’s shoulder, causing the honor student to jump. “Just keep up the good work, and you could possibly have everything covered by the beginning of your senior year!”
“...Please don’t do that…” Mike muttered, slowly turning towards Taco, very upset. Taco didn’t seem to mind.
“You know, Mike, you won’t be able to get any girls with the way you look!” Taco grabbed Mike’s sleeve and inspected it. “You look too disheveled!”
“...Don’t mean to offend your craft, but I’m not at all interested in that in the first place.” Mike scowled.
Taco seemed appalled. “What are you talking about? Who wouldn’t want to be fawned over by a bunch of girls?” Taco grabbed Mike’s hand and dragged the two of them towards a corner, far away from the clients. “This is important! Pleasing the ladies is everything!”
Mike disagreed. “Does it even really matter though? Men, women, appearances, whatever?” Mike shrugged. “What’s important is what’s on the inside. You know, with how you and the other hosts put up the roles of a character, I have a hard time seeing why a club like this should ever exist. It’s just…”
“It's cruel, isn’t it?” Taco stated, taking a sip from her tea, completely ignoring what Mike said. “But think about it. Why do they put museum pieces in museums? To show off the beautiful things! So it’s our duty as hosts to show off our beauty to the women of this fine school!” Taco exclaimed, posing for Mike.
Completely ignoring what Taco said, Mike had this weird feeling about Taco. Like there was a word to describe her, but Mike had forgotten what it was… What was it? Annoying? Loud? No… That wasn’t it…
Taco continued going on like Mike had all the time in the world. “That’s why I started this club! To entertain the people who are starved for beauty! You see, with your looks, you have no hope of being able to pull girls like us. However, as long as I have the opportunity to do so, I will share a portion of my magnificence with you!”
Man the word just slipped Mike’s mind! Ugh! What was it?
“Here’s a tip: When putting a glass down, be sure to extend your pinky finger to use it as a cushion. That way, it refrains it from making a loud sound and makes you look more refined that way!”
Was it ‘A pain in the neck’? No… It probably wasn’t.
“I also find I like to look at my reflection in the glass sometimes. You see, the important thing to remember is how effective angles can be, my dear Mike.” Taco strolled over to Mike’s side and wrapped an arm around the honor student.
“Aha! I got it!” Mike exclaimed.
Taco’s eyes lit up. “Oh? Did I strike a cord?”
“You’re obnoxious!” Mike cheered, remembering the word.
…Taco sighed and sat in a corner, rocking back and forth. She was depressed now.
“Um, sorry, Taco.” Mike apologised, poking Taco’s shoulder.
There was a loud laugh from Cheesy as the other hosts gathered around Mike. “Well, Mike, you’re truly a hero!” Cheesy laughed at Taco.
Well, it was true that Taco was obnoxious and annoying and loud and a pain in the neck… “Well, Taco, I’m sorry. Your lesson did…strike…a cord with me.”
The hostess jumped up, happy from what Mike said. “I see! Then allow me to share with you another skill!” Taco seemed to get over things quickly… “About how to be a host!”
“...Miss…” Mike sighed. What even was the point of trying to get Taco to stop when she acted like this?
“Oh, please, call me ‘Princess’!” Taco suggested. Mike wasn’t going to do that.
Trophy scowled. “Oh, please. If you even went through the effort to try and train him to be a host, he wouldn't even pass the basic visual criteria it takes! His ugly ass glasses are in the way!”
The group had a moment of thinking before Tree carefully removed Mike’s glasses. Behind those glasses, Mike had beautiful eyes. They were breathtaking. But Mike disagreed, as the honor student started fussing and tried grabbing the round glasses back. “Wait, no! Give me the glasses back! I need them! I lost my contacts on the first day of school!” However, no one responded. They were all blown away by how gorgeous Mike was.
Taco pushed everyone away to grab Mike’s face and get a closer look. “Aha!” She snapped her fingers. “Cheesy, Trophy! Get this beautiful boy a proper school uniform!”
“Yes ma’am!” The two exclaimed, grabbing Mike’s wrist.
“Lollipop, call the hair designer!” Taco barked. “And Tree, grab us some contacts from the school nurse!” Lollipop whipped out her phone and Tree dashed away. All that was left was Marker, who was waiting for his orders.
“Miss Taco, what about me?” He asked.
Taco took a long look at Marker. “Marker! You, uh, eat the cakes, please!” She gestured towards the table with the different types of cakes on it.
The poor (poor as in sad) boy’s face fell. “Oh… Well, I guess it’s only you and me, Aston…” He told his stuffed rabbit.
Meanwhile, across the host room, Cheesy and Trophy dragged Mike towards the changing room. Trophy held the school’s blue uniform, while Cheesy dragged Mike towards the changing room. “Here, put this on!” Trophy shouted, thrusting the uniform at Mike.
“What?!” Mike exclaimed, struggling to keep up with everyone.
“No questions!” Cheesy yelled, pushing Mike towards the changing room, opening the curtain up for the honor student.
“Ugh! Fine!” Mike yelled, pushing Cheesy and Trophy away. “I’ll wear it, okay? Now both of you, get out!” Mike furiously pulled the curtains closed. Cheesy and Trophy stood there in shock for a minute, shocked at how defensive Mike was being. That’s when they realized it.
Somewhere else, two lightbulbs flickered on.
ᯓ➳♡ *ੈ❀˚˖𓍢ִ໋⋆˚✿˖°
A moment later, the entire host club stood outside the changing room, waiting for Mike to come out. They all stood eager, waiting to see how pretty Mike would look.
“Hey, um guys…” Mike muttered, buttoning up the blue blazer.
“Hm?” Taco perked up. “Are you done putting it on?”
Mike slowly pulled the curtains back, coming out of the changing room. Mike looked pretty, with the fixed hair, the beautiful eyes, and the refined uniform. “...Is it okay for me to take this uniform?”
Taco jumped towards Mike, smiling and giddy about the honor student’s new appearance. “Awww! You look just like a girl!”
“...Oh really?” Mike muttered. Lollipop pulled out a small mirror from her pocket to show Mike, and Mike examined the new look. It was… Weird. But in a nice way.
“Aww!! Mikey, you look so cute!” Marker exclaimed.
Tree nodded his head. “You look nice.”
“Wow, Mike! You look Mike-nificant!” Cheesy cracked.
Trophy cockily smirked. “If you were so good looking before, why didn’t you say so?”
Lollipop nodded her head, inspecting Taco, top to bottom. “He may even get customers by looking like this.”
Taco nodded her head, giving Mike a smile that showed she was planning something. “Yes, just as I predicted! My dear Mike, you have just graduated from trivial chores! So, starting today, you’re an official member of the host club! If you manage to gather a hundred clients to see you, your debt of $50,000 will be forgiven!”
Mike froze. “...A-a host?!"