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Ilya has this big plan to propose to Shane in a hot air balloon. Because big romantic gestures are hilarious to both of them. But, even though Shane enthusiastically agreed to go up in the hot air balloon... He maybe didn't know he was going to have a panic attack and throw up a little. Ilya didn't want barf breath kisses, so he tucks the ring box back in his pocket and mentally goes back to the drawing board.
**
Shane really wants to propose to Ilya at the hotel where they spent their first vacation. Memories and mushy stuff and all that. Except some group of teenagers doing stupid teenager shit at a sleepover set their room on fire and they had to evacuate the entire floor right when room service delivered their plate of crab cakes (there was going to be so much god damn whimsy) Shane stuffs the ring back into the bottom of his bag and curses ‘light as a feather, stiff as a board’.
**
Ellie had been sick all night. First it was a nightmare, and then she started running a fever, then she threw up all over her bed... Twice. She finally fell asleep for good at 4am. It was now 6am and they had to get ready for work. The bags under Shane's eyes had bags. Ilya was pretty sure his pajama pants were on backwards. Shane accidentally poured orange juice in his coffee. Ilya has what can only be described as a bird nest hair do right now.
Ilya was leaning against the kitchen island, with Shane leaning against him. Shane had his arms wrapped around Ilya's waist and his face mushed into chest. Ilya had Shane enveloped in his arms, which meant he was wrapped up in Ilya's gigantic leopard print robe. (Ilya was classy, alright?) Shane yawned. Ilya kissed the top of his head and adjusted his stance a little, Shane grumbled and tried to get his body closer. (He'd have to crawl inside Ilya to do that.) They stood there in silence, the only noise being Oscar's manically loud snores coming from his nest of blankets in the den.
"Ilya?"
"Mmmmph?"
"I think you need to marry me."
Ilya's heart skipped a beat, which medically was not good for your health. "Hum-uh-nuh. What?"
"You need to marry me. I don't want anyone else to clean someone else's barf out of my hair at 3am on a Wednesday... There's other reasons..."
Ilya grabbed Shane's chin and forced him to make eye contact.
Shane's exhausted grin was there. "...there's so many reasons. And I will tell them all to you. I have a list. But I am so tired right now I can hear colors."
Ilya probably should remember how to breathe.
"But, I have been trying to find the best moment for months... But every moment with you is perfect." Shane pulled a face, "So, right now is perfect."
Obviously Ilya says yes, they both call out sick to work after there's another orange juice coffee combo attempted because they are so tired, and then they tell Ellie and she runs around the house squealing, because apparently someone is feeling better...
**
Shane's List of Reasons Why He Is Going To Marry Ilya
- he loves Bean with every atom inside him
- he loves me almost as much
- his butt
- his brain
- his eyes
- his butt
- he knows how to use the rice cooker
- he makes me laugh
- his butt
- he believes in me
- he understands me
- he lets me be me but also knows when to push me to be the bet-ter version of me
- his butt
- the love he has for everyone important to him
- sexual compatibility Ilya's handwriting next to it he likes my cock
**
Ilya's List of Reasons Why He Is Going To Marry Shane
- he's Shane
- Bean